So I am proving my theory that being tired makes you eat more. So far I have had supper on the plane, then breakfast, got off the plane after no sleep, had breakfast because my stomach felt hollow and acidic. Sleep is very important and since I did not sleep for even a moment on that plane, food kept me walking. Good news though, didn't overeat or go after junk food, had a healthy vegetarion breakfast. Now, sit down my friends, I'm looking for coffee. Can't tell you if I'll like it once I taste it because I never have, but maybe it will wake me up. Tessa says it's better if we can stay awake, we did find a quiet place and a reclining chair to sleep a couple hours, so now coffee may be my only hope. How sad is that, not for you, but for me.
For those of you who are wondering why I'm writing, 9 hour layover in London. Time sure does not fly like the planes at the airport, especially when you are not late for a flight or looking forward to sleep on the next long plane ride. Oh well, I got to write.
I am going to stop eating now until the next flight and then I'm going on a Tessa induced fast to prevent jet lag, it's supposed to help if you don't eat for 16 hours. Please say nice things at my funeral if I perish while waiting for those 16 hours to pass.
I'm behaving and haven't fallen off the wagon, I'm working hard not to fall off the chair though. Way too tired.
Be blessed with a wonderful day.
Today's Question; 'Were we really meant to fly across the world.'
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
No Excuses - I'll be Missing You.
Today is the day, my blogging freinds, I get on a plane with my beautiful daughter and we go to Africa. It is both an exciting day and a scarey day, my stomach is in knots and it is "not" because I ate too many twisted pretzels. Remarkably I didn't overeat as my nerves went from a gentle breeze to tornado winds, even more remarkable I plan on continuing this process no matter what country I'm in. In the past this trip would have provided me with more than enough excuses to convince myself, and you, that I couldn't hope to eat well, since I couldn't control what I'd be eating.
Today's Question: "Why do I convince myself that excuses are reasons when I know they are excuses?"
Can you count like I can on all fingers and toes how many times you've made an excuse. Honestly, I couldn't reach that number if I included all your fingers and toes. I have made so many excuses for not starting this process of weight loss sooner. It's almost Halloween, who could not eat all those treats? It's almost Christmas, it's way too hard not to overeat so I'll start after the New Year. Do I know that Christmas is one day? Was I aware that it's three holidays if I count Boxing Day and New Years, not the entire month of December and the first two days of the New Year. Do I know that a vacation does not have to mean I gain ten pounds. Which by the way is what I have lost to date. Am I aware that anytime I've put off changing my lifestyle for the better I'm punishing myself. Do I really need to start a new plan of action every Monday, I mean no wonder we hate Mondays, it's usually diet day. We seem to wake up from the feeding frenzy, that is the entire weekend, on Monday morning when our clothes are cutting off our circulation, starving and angry. What is wrong with this picture.
Speaking of pictures, do you want to know how many pictures I've cut up because I look fat. Hello porkchop, you are fat!!!! Isn't it funny how I expect a skinny picture when I have no evidence of skinny on my body, okay my ankles and wrists are quite slim, oh and my ears and eyes...thank you very much. Have you ever looked at the other people in the photograph and noticed that they are exactly the same size. Weird how the camera only makes me look fat. Still, I can convince myself that it's a bad picture, no way in h e double toothpicks it's me honey. If things don't look the way I think they should I destroy the evidence. Thank God for digital cameras, I can now edit myself, I'm saving so much money on film.
I am going to Africa. A place where people really know what it is to be hungry. Their bodies often give a false picture of what is really going on, they are starving and yet their tummys stick out. It's not fat. I'm fat and far from starving and I deceive myself into thinking that if I eat less I'll starve to death. I tell myself the pictures lie, I lie to myself. If I took the money that I've wasted on food I didn't need, and sent it to Africa I could feed an entire family of four, for their entire life. I'm not kidding. In reality I could do more.
I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm going to Africa now. I know that God has a plan and that He will do something remarkable in and I pray through both Tessa and I. We are going to be able to feed, thanks to so many amazing donars who I know God "will" bless richly for their giving, no less than one thousand two hundred people for one month. They have a need...I have a "greed". God help me.
I will truly miss writing and sharing this process with you over the next 12 days. You may not know this but your willingness to read this blog and encourage me with your comments is such a huge blessing to me. I have found strength I never knew I had and it's because of you. God has truly blessed me with the most amazing freinds. I will try to write from Africa at least once or twice, I can't promise but I will try. I love you all.
Be blessed with a wonderful day.
Today's Question: "Why do I convince myself that excuses are reasons when I know they are excuses?"
Can you count like I can on all fingers and toes how many times you've made an excuse. Honestly, I couldn't reach that number if I included all your fingers and toes. I have made so many excuses for not starting this process of weight loss sooner. It's almost Halloween, who could not eat all those treats? It's almost Christmas, it's way too hard not to overeat so I'll start after the New Year. Do I know that Christmas is one day? Was I aware that it's three holidays if I count Boxing Day and New Years, not the entire month of December and the first two days of the New Year. Do I know that a vacation does not have to mean I gain ten pounds. Which by the way is what I have lost to date. Am I aware that anytime I've put off changing my lifestyle for the better I'm punishing myself. Do I really need to start a new plan of action every Monday, I mean no wonder we hate Mondays, it's usually diet day. We seem to wake up from the feeding frenzy, that is the entire weekend, on Monday morning when our clothes are cutting off our circulation, starving and angry. What is wrong with this picture.
Speaking of pictures, do you want to know how many pictures I've cut up because I look fat. Hello porkchop, you are fat!!!! Isn't it funny how I expect a skinny picture when I have no evidence of skinny on my body, okay my ankles and wrists are quite slim, oh and my ears and eyes...thank you very much. Have you ever looked at the other people in the photograph and noticed that they are exactly the same size. Weird how the camera only makes me look fat. Still, I can convince myself that it's a bad picture, no way in h e double toothpicks it's me honey. If things don't look the way I think they should I destroy the evidence. Thank God for digital cameras, I can now edit myself, I'm saving so much money on film.
I am going to Africa. A place where people really know what it is to be hungry. Their bodies often give a false picture of what is really going on, they are starving and yet their tummys stick out. It's not fat. I'm fat and far from starving and I deceive myself into thinking that if I eat less I'll starve to death. I tell myself the pictures lie, I lie to myself. If I took the money that I've wasted on food I didn't need, and sent it to Africa I could feed an entire family of four, for their entire life. I'm not kidding. In reality I could do more.
I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm going to Africa now. I know that God has a plan and that He will do something remarkable in and I pray through both Tessa and I. We are going to be able to feed, thanks to so many amazing donars who I know God "will" bless richly for their giving, no less than one thousand two hundred people for one month. They have a need...I have a "greed". God help me.
I will truly miss writing and sharing this process with you over the next 12 days. You may not know this but your willingness to read this blog and encourage me with your comments is such a huge blessing to me. I have found strength I never knew I had and it's because of you. God has truly blessed me with the most amazing freinds. I will try to write from Africa at least once or twice, I can't promise but I will try. I love you all.
Be blessed with a wonderful day.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Spa Day
Don't hate me...rejoice for me, I'd do the same for you if you were having a spa day. I got a gift certificate from my husband for my birthday back in August and I've been saving it. I knew I was going to Africa and I'd need the hair, the toes, the face, the eyebrows and the massage, before I was the key note speaker. It does not matter what country you speak in, you should look good when you do it. I must represent our Country looking my best, not over done but done.
Today's Question: "What does that have to do with weight loss?"
Answer, lots. I'm so glad that I am ten pounds lighter (again), I'm so glad that when I want to be mad at myself for being so fat, as I look in those wonderful mirrors the hairdresser's have, I can know that I am honestly doing something about it. Usually I sit there disgusted saying I'm going to do something about it. Now I am, and that my freinds is liberating. I'm sure the massage table would thank me for being ten pounds lighter if it could talk. The lady holding up my leg while I have my pedicure will be grateful, she also won't need to use as much product for my facial, it's one of the first places I lose weight. And my favorite, I'm getting my hair cut, that should take a quarter of a pound off for tomorrows weigh in, as long as the color dosen't add weight I'm good. I love spa days.
I have to tell you that for the frist time in my life I actually beleive that I can be slimmer and happier about my weight. I'm truly rejoicing in where I am now, enjoing the moment as they say. Not pushing myself to be slimmer faster is so refreshing and pressureless. I no longer want to fill up to feel better, I simply want to do the work to feel better, physically, mentally and emotionally. Life is truly so much better when you quit "serving food", and make it serve your purposes. So much better.
What do you really want my freinds? I don't have the answer, I can tell you that for me, I really wanted to feel like my life was my own again. I didn't like spinning around out of control looking for food to fill me up when that was something only I could do. God has given us choice, I made some bad ones. God has allowed us to make our own way, I chose a path that neglected this wonderful gift I have...my body. What a treasure I now realize I have. Better late than never.
Have a wonderful and blessed day.
Today's Question: "What does that have to do with weight loss?"
Answer, lots. I'm so glad that I am ten pounds lighter (again), I'm so glad that when I want to be mad at myself for being so fat, as I look in those wonderful mirrors the hairdresser's have, I can know that I am honestly doing something about it. Usually I sit there disgusted saying I'm going to do something about it. Now I am, and that my freinds is liberating. I'm sure the massage table would thank me for being ten pounds lighter if it could talk. The lady holding up my leg while I have my pedicure will be grateful, she also won't need to use as much product for my facial, it's one of the first places I lose weight. And my favorite, I'm getting my hair cut, that should take a quarter of a pound off for tomorrows weigh in, as long as the color dosen't add weight I'm good. I love spa days.
I have to tell you that for the frist time in my life I actually beleive that I can be slimmer and happier about my weight. I'm truly rejoicing in where I am now, enjoing the moment as they say. Not pushing myself to be slimmer faster is so refreshing and pressureless. I no longer want to fill up to feel better, I simply want to do the work to feel better, physically, mentally and emotionally. Life is truly so much better when you quit "serving food", and make it serve your purposes. So much better.
What do you really want my freinds? I don't have the answer, I can tell you that for me, I really wanted to feel like my life was my own again. I didn't like spinning around out of control looking for food to fill me up when that was something only I could do. God has given us choice, I made some bad ones. God has allowed us to make our own way, I chose a path that neglected this wonderful gift I have...my body. What a treasure I now realize I have. Better late than never.
Have a wonderful and blessed day.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Oktoberfest
I have no great reason for today's title other than, it's October and I love that word. It just sounds so cool. No other month can compare or has the punch needed to spit out Oktoberfest. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my husband's half German. Silly me.
Beleive it or not I have been blogging for one month today. Wow, these are the surprises in numerical order that I have experienced:
1. I didn't die of starvation.
2. I haven't felt uncomfortably full in a month. (Can I say again...didn't die, shocking.)
3. The scale, although still the enemy, has no control over how I'm eating. This is a big one for
me because I used to eat if I didn't see results. Okay, let's be honest, I ate when I did see results
...it was cause for celebration. If I weighed the same I ate same, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. :)
4. I am surprised by how much better my clothes feel and look.
5. I don't feel like I'm being deprived.
6. I'm losing weight eating what I really want. Turns out less is more.
7. I am paying attention to how I feel.
8. I'm not allowing myself to feed my emotions, I'm feeling them. Let me tell you, this can be painful.
9. I'm not jealous of what other people are eating because I'm having what I want...remember I ate
a banana split for supper once.
10. I feel like I have regained control over my life. I'm no longer a slave to food.
There are more, but remember, I'm learning not to over do things.
I feel better, still some aches and pains but no where near as many. I have more energy, okay not running any marathons, but can now breathe normally after climbing the stairs. I am loving the process. That is so surprising, I was so...
Today's Question: "What's the word that defines feelings you've never felt before?"
I don't know either, but I was so ________! Yep, that's how I felt. I made a choice, I made a commitment and I'm doing it. I love that I have no time limit. I can honestly tell you that I have had some sad thoughts about reaching my goal of fifty one pounds. I'm so enjoying this process that I really don't want it to end. I also commit to not self-sabotage so I can keep writing, maybe I'll just commit to lose that extra ten or twenty from never never land. As in I "never" think I could be that slim again.
I have found something I pray you all find in any area you wrestle with, HOPE!!! Yep, I didn't realize it but I'd stopped hoping I could get this weight off. I lacked the evidence and I didn't beleive in myself. I also didn't think this was an area where God would help me, I knew better but I kept drowning out His voice with potatoe chips. I'm listening now and He's still speaking words of love and affrimation. I'm so blessed and I pray you are all....
Blessed with a wonderful and hopeful day.
Beleive it or not I have been blogging for one month today. Wow, these are the surprises in numerical order that I have experienced:
1. I didn't die of starvation.
2. I haven't felt uncomfortably full in a month. (Can I say again...didn't die, shocking.)
3. The scale, although still the enemy, has no control over how I'm eating. This is a big one for
me because I used to eat if I didn't see results. Okay, let's be honest, I ate when I did see results
...it was cause for celebration. If I weighed the same I ate same, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. :)
4. I am surprised by how much better my clothes feel and look.
5. I don't feel like I'm being deprived.
6. I'm losing weight eating what I really want. Turns out less is more.
7. I am paying attention to how I feel.
8. I'm not allowing myself to feed my emotions, I'm feeling them. Let me tell you, this can be painful.
9. I'm not jealous of what other people are eating because I'm having what I want...remember I ate
a banana split for supper once.
10. I feel like I have regained control over my life. I'm no longer a slave to food.
There are more, but remember, I'm learning not to over do things.
I feel better, still some aches and pains but no where near as many. I have more energy, okay not running any marathons, but can now breathe normally after climbing the stairs. I am loving the process. That is so surprising, I was so...
Today's Question: "What's the word that defines feelings you've never felt before?"
I don't know either, but I was so ________! Yep, that's how I felt. I made a choice, I made a commitment and I'm doing it. I love that I have no time limit. I can honestly tell you that I have had some sad thoughts about reaching my goal of fifty one pounds. I'm so enjoying this process that I really don't want it to end. I also commit to not self-sabotage so I can keep writing, maybe I'll just commit to lose that extra ten or twenty from never never land. As in I "never" think I could be that slim again.
I have found something I pray you all find in any area you wrestle with, HOPE!!! Yep, I didn't realize it but I'd stopped hoping I could get this weight off. I lacked the evidence and I didn't beleive in myself. I also didn't think this was an area where God would help me, I knew better but I kept drowning out His voice with potatoe chips. I'm listening now and He's still speaking words of love and affrimation. I'm so blessed and I pray you are all....
Blessed with a wonderful and hopeful day.
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