Transformations

It has been exactly 64 days since we bought the farmhouse and I can't beleive all that has changed in that house.  I wish that my body makeover was going as well as the house rennos.  For example, two floors have been gutted and redesigned.  Hardwood flooring has been put into the kitchen, dining room, living room, two halls, and all the upstairs bedrooms, oh and one main floor bedroom.  The stairway has been opened, thanks Pastor Bob for that great idea, and the bathroom has been completely redone on the main floor.  Tile has gone into the two entrances and the bathroom, beautiful tile I have to add.  Gord has now put three new lights up and trimmed two door frames, the entire living room and parts of the dining room, he's an amazing rennovater.  I have painted the dining room, living room, laundry room, side entranceway and main floor bedroom, my wrists hurt, but so worth it.  Okay my whole body hurts since I'm usually the clean up crew, but hey I'm trying not whine. 

Last Friday the kitchen went in, the appliances will be delivered today, Park Millwork built the most beautiful kitchen I have ever owned, never mind seen.  And Lucie, as mentioned previously, is the best kitchen designer ever.  Seriously gifted...you'll see soon when I post the pictures.  We even had a huge loader come and plow almost all four of our acres, oh and the once human powered front gate is now a very cool solar powered gate..yup with remote controls.  I now have the power to let people in, or keep them out.  I'm such a control freak.  I must add that my husband has done the electrical, plumbing, mudding, taping and sanding, tiling, some painting and trimming, oh and carpentry work it would take to long to mention.  I know his name is Gord but seriously I think I married that Jack of all trades guy, and he did it all with an inquenal hernia that will be operated on in 13 days.  Was I whining about my body hurting...shame on me.

Todays Question:  "Why can't I rennovate my body as quickly and efficiently as the farmhouse?"

Seriously, it's been almost five months and I've lost thirteen pounds.  I have been doing so much more physically as you can tell, I'd like to see the transformation in me as clearly as I do in our farmhouse.  I will say that I feel stronger, the thing I have noticed about sore muscles is that each day they feel firmer and that remarkably makes me feel kinda super-human.  Ok, somewhat super human in strength but whatever.  I am eating better 80% of the time and when that 20% kicks in I'm still eating less.  Thank God for that. 

I guess I need to remember that unlike the farmhouse I'm working on this transformation alone.  I don't have Park Millwork to take me from nothing to something wonderful in five days, like my new kitchen.  I'm lacking the rip and tear crew that gutted two levels, maybe I do need a personal trainer or two.  Lucie could you work on my design please?  Gord couldn't you rennovate your wife while your at it?  Never mind honey, I can see the problems with that request without drawings.  It's sad but it's true friends, this is my work and although God will help, people support and encourage me, I'm on my own.  This transformation will continue to depend on my choices and actions each day.  I can't wait to post those before and after shots.

Be blessed with a wonderful day.

No Pain, I Said No Pain!

I have remembered why I'm not to fond of exercise, every muscle in my body hurts and I was certain I had no muscles left.  Ouch.  Hurts to go up the stairs, that is from getting on the stool to paint, then getting off the stool for more paint...up, down, up down.  Arms hurt when I move them in any and every direction, add the shoulders and neck to that, all from paint strokes.  Back hurts, although I have to admit it feels way more flexible, from all the bending.  Feet hurt, simply because I'm on them more, I do favor the recline position.  Butt muscles hurt when I walk, I think it's a combination of bending and climbing.  And last but not least, my hands hurt from holding little paint pails and brushes, oh I just love tying paint in.  I didn't mean that. 

Todays Question:  "Do you like that quote, "No pain, no gain." ?

I sure don't, I prefer my own, "No pain, no pain."  It's so much better, feels great not to have pain.  I have another question, why is it that everything we do to improve our health comes with some measure of pain.  I mean those hunger pains are not pleasant, I think they "may" be worse than the physical pain that comes after exercise.  I know they both pass with time and I'm counting on that, I just would like it if the way I felt the first day when I was painting, was the way I felt by the second day.  I'd like to eat less and not feel like my stomach was stuck to my backbone, while my body adjusted to a serious lack of food.  Okay I'm not lacking any food, let's keep it real.  My point, nothing ...just felt like whining.

Okay I have a point.  I think it must be human nature to want a result without the effort, or pain.  I think I need to stop whining and start rejoicing.  I can move, I'm in good health, I'm blessed with strong and healthy bones, I am remarkably flexible for my age, I have some sore this's and thats but overall, I am in perfect health.  Praise the Lord.  I can go upstairs soak in my wonderful jacuzzi tub, climb back into my warm and comfy bed, sleep knowing that I'm safe in God's arms, get up and find food in my fridge, call any number of the wonderful friends and family I have, should I need someone to whine to about my pain, and last but not least, I am loved and I love.  I'm so fearfully and wonderfully made, I'm so blessed.

No pain, no pain.  No gain, no gain.  I am reminded of Jesus, so much pain for my gain.  Boy do I have a lot to learn.  Thank you Lord.

Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.

Time For Everything

I love that scripture, it lets me share things in my time, embrace things in my time, forget things in my time, forgive in my time, love in my time, etc.  Obviously I should be quick to forgive, guicker than I am at times that is for sure.  I should love all the time but don't, I am working on that.  I find that time gives us something we need in the most important areas of our lives, love, forgiveness, happiness, sadness, anger and host of other emotions our wonderfully designed brains allow us to feel.  Time helps me process. 

Todays Question:  "Do any of you wish like I do that closing your mouth and waiting for the appropriate time to speak was something you did...all the time?"

Contrary to my question I didn't offend anyone recently, at least not that I know off...time and this blog may change that.  I just found myself thinking about time.  People often say that time heals all wounds.  I hate that expression and yet I love Ecclesiastes 3 and how it defines the times for everything under the sun.  It's beautiful to consider that the plan is in place for my life and the times are set.  I grapple with the timing but I trust that God knows the reasons for the times.  I am glad that time isn't the healer of my wounds...God is.  I realize that time passes in the process but that sentence, time heals all wounds, cuts short my need to feel, to process and to search for the deeper messages that can only be found in pain.  I wish that I learned so clearly from my joy as I do from my pain. 

I have a time set to heal, yes indeed, but the healing and how much time passes depends on me.  If I'm looking for the passing of time to heal me I will stay in my sorrow.  If I'm looking for God to heal me I'll find my way every time out from under that sorrow.  There is much to learn in the valley and the mountain top is something that is only enjoyable for a time.  I can look at the remarkable view from the peak for so long and then I get bored, I need to go back down into the valley to start climbing again.  This morning I feel like life is a series of treks up and down the mountain. Maybe that's why I love this scripture so much.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
     a time to be born and a time to die,
     a time to plant and a time to uproot,
     a time to kill and a time to heal,
     a time to tear down and a time to build,  (reminds me of my old and now new kitchen)
     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
     a time to mourn and a time to dance,  (God does like dancing and so do I.)
     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
     a time to embrace and a time to refrain,  (Yep, we even get tired of hugs.)
     a time to search and a time to give up,  (It's lost already, let it go.)
     a time to keep and a time to throw away, (Moving really helps this process.)
     a time to tear and a time to mend, (Thanks Gord for mending my tears.)
     a time to be silent and a time to speak,
     a time to love and a time to hate,
     a time for war and a time for peace.

I love that God ...."has made everthing beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of mankind."

Isn't that a timely message that never ends.

Be blessed with a Wonderful Day. 

Shopping for New Jeans and Turning the Page.

I'm finding that my journey is like a book, not sure what I'll read on the next page but I'm starting to care.  That for me is huge. I want to finish this book I've titled Fifty One Pounds, I'm ready to get off the comfortable page that has read ten pounds lighter for way too many months.  I feel safe hovering around ten pounds and I don't just want to feel safe anymore, I want to get uncomfortable as I find my way to a twenty pound post etc.  I discovered with the help of a very good book that I have a fear of being thin.  I want something I really don't want or know how to handle.  It has to do with so many aspects of who I think I am and yet know I am not. 

Todays Question:  "Are you ever afraid of what you know you can have?"

I am!  I have absolutely no doubt that I could be fifty one pounds lighter and more if I wanted to be.  I'm saying firmly and truthfully...no doubt whatsoever.  I'm saying with that same conviction that my fear of who that lady might be seems to be holding me captive with a ten to thirteen pound gun.  I have discovered a patten once again during these few months, I get a couple pounds past ten and I'm eating a blizzard, or chips, or too much bread.  I jump for joy when I drop a couple pounds past the security blanket that is ten, then surrender to the first treat I can find and it's always food. 

Yesterday I went with Tessa and Zayin to find grandma some new jeans.  I bought low riders from American Eagle.  Why?  Tessa said they looked amazing.  I must have needed to hear that because I bought them ignoring the fact that my "granny" undies, as Tessa called them, were showing.  I'm understating.  Half of my butt would have been exposed if not for those french cut jockeys, she called granny undies.  Seriously Tessa...you are lucky I love you so much.  Nobody slams my jockeys.   I showed my husband my new jeans and he loved how they looked but wondered how I'd deal with bending over.  Asked me where my butt was.  Hello...same place it's always been honey.  His question was valid, I'd already pointed that out to Tessa, when I say pointed that out, I meant I said; "I can't bend over or the world will see my jockeys."  She said I'd get used to it, meaning the jeans of course.  Why?  Why would I want to get used to my butt hanging out.  This one will make you laugh out loud, Gord said.  "You need to buy a thong and then people will see only the top of it if you bend over."  I'm laughing myself.  I assured him they don't make a thong big enough to hide this arse in those jeans.  Isn't jean shopping fun.

My point, those jeans make me feel good.  Maybe because they make me laugh, and maybe because they do look good.  Okay I'll only wear them when I have no  need to bend, but that little tiny zipper and the way they fit the skinniest part of my belly makes me feel fabulously smaller.  And I was comfortable with that in spite of the fact that I kept trying to pull the back up.  I'm sure the jumping up and down counts as exercise so it's all good.  I want you all to know I will not be wearing a fitted shirt with those jeans, I'm not a fan of showing the belly surplus that low rise jeans are famous for...I meant to say infamous.  I cannot deny however, that even with flaws I get it and I'm embracing it.  I look a little bit sexy in those jeans and I'm going to stop being afraid of that.  I'm goint to see a smaller me and not freak out for a change.  One day I will write more about this fear of looking great in more depth.  For now I'm taking baby steps to turn the page on the book that is my life, or has been my life up to now.  The thing I like about books is that you can turn the page and sometimes the story gets better.  With books that may not always be the case but when you are writing the story of your life...you decide what the next page will say.

Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.