So this morning I will be taking care of that ever so important 'image'. I need the hair color, turns out the gray with it's white highlights is not as attractive as one might think. I'm going to replace it with what used to be my natural color and since I'm not 100% vain I allow the bottom half of my hair to be what it has become...some color I can neither identify or name. I plan to have the plant peel, which is a all natural affordable attempt to lessen these lines that someone drew on my face. I realize sand blasting would be more effective but I hate pain so...we shall peel.
Todays Question: "Do you see the value in looking and feeling good regardless of how old/young, skinny/fat, rich/poor you think you are?"
I sure do. Years ago I watched one of those Canadian special stories, it was an interview with a prostitute. The interviewer asked many questions, all respectful and with an approach to learn from this women why she thought men came to see her. It was very interesting and not at all what I thought it would be. The question that impacted me the most was; "Why do you think men come to see you?" I expected her to say sex, she didn't. She said that they came to be with a women who would listen to them, whose hair was done, who had make-up on, who smelled nice and looked her best. Bamm! Right between the eyes. When I first met Gord I always looked good, hair, make-up, clothes. I couldn't stand the thought of him seeing me when I was not at my best. I used to wake up before him so I could check myself in the mirror before he saw me. After a couple of years and children, I just wasn't so worried about it anymore. I spent more time trying to impress strangers than I did my husband. New job, must look my best. Going out with the girls...wardrobe, hair and make-up people...now! Shopping, have to look good so people think I can afford to look in their store. Oh my image was very important to me. Especially when it came to what other people thought. But Gord, well he got to see me at what I'll call my whatevers, hair flat maybe but I always brushed it in the morning. Make-up, why I'm not going anywhere. Wardrobe, who cares as long as I'm comfy. However, if I had to go to one of his many Christmas parties over the years I did work hard to look great...professionally done as they say. But I am sad to say I didn't really do that for Gord, I just didn't wany anyone to think Gord married a loser. I wonder if that's why we have so many babies delivered nine months after the Christmas party. Food for thought. Up until I saw that interview I thought love covered my multitude of looking bad sins. Turns out that most men who see prostitutes tell them they love their wives, just don't feel like their wives care enough anymore to want to impress them.
My point, I'm in debt to a prostitue and grateful as well. Her honesty about why men came to see her, shocked me enough to wake me up. From that day to this day I do my very best to always look good, for my husband yes, but also for myself. I decided all those 25 plus years ago that sweat pants would not be a part of my wardrobe. The prostitue said men hate sweatpants. I couldn't argue that point, even my skinny friends don't look good in sweat pants. I will inject that Lulu Lemon has greatly improved the sweat pant, although I don't own any. I decided on that day that the hair would be done every morning, unless the night before did not turn it into a rats nest. I made make-up my new best friend, even though it took me a long time to find things I wasn't allergic too. I bought perfume that did not offend me or others and I wear it everyday. No women is going to out smell me to get my husbands attention. I took care of my overall image on a daily basis. Even when I am sick or low on energy I still check out the mirror and do what I can to improve how I look. Vanity yes, wisdom yes. If the husband is away...be a bum...but don't go out of the house and scare people my friends...it's not right. :)
My husband is not the most flattering man on the planet, okay not on any planet, or galaxy for that matter, however, the one consistant compliment I have gotten from him over the years is; "You always look good babe." No matter how much or how little I have weighed I always do my best to look my best and that has made me feel better about myself. I started out making the effort for Gord, I ended up doing it for both of us. Regardless of how much money I had or didn't have to spend.
It would seem that the deeper truth is that what you truly think of yourself is reflected in how you care for yourself. When you don't take care of yourself you shouldn't be surprised if others don't either. Confidence is a beautiful thing...over-confidence is ugly. Balance in this area is key.
My Prayer: Lord help us to represent ourselves well and to let the outside be as beautiful as the inside, regardless of size, shape or color. We are all created in Your image and should reflect your glory.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The New 4 Letter Word
I'm wondering if any of you can guess what that word would be for a women who has so frequently confessed that she struggles with patience. The word is....WAIT! Oh it's a dirty little word to me. Don't want too, don't like too and don't have too...so there. What a brat I am.
Todays Question: "Do you ever wish that you could catch a glimpse of why it's so necessary to wait before you actually have to wait?"
Snapshot. That's a nice word. I'm just wanting a little peek into why it seems waiting is such a vital part of life. I'm telling you I don't appreciate the sandwich, London Fog, meal out, etc., anymore because I have to wait for it. I'd like to walk into Starbucks to find a nice young lady or a nice young man asking me what I'd like. I tell him/her, they turn around and hand me my drink. It would taste the same, cost the same and mean the same. I got what I wanted and I didn't have to wait. Line up is two word dilly if you ask me and another source of discontent for me. If I see a line up in a restaurant I usually turn and walk out. Not even food can change this deep seeded impatient issue I have. Now you know how serious this is. (I have waited for family and friends in line-ups...I'm not heartless, just impatient.)
Waiting is something everyone has to do and so many people seem to do it so much better than I. I'm sitting here trying to think of a time when I enjoyed waiting. My pregnancies came to mind, but honestly if I could have gotten a healthy baby I'd have bypassed the wait. Although I do see the value in the nine months of mental and physical preparation. Have you ever noticed that wait is often accompanied by its close friend do. As in do move forward in the line, do take a step, do exercise to get the desired body, do eat less to reach the desired weight, do be quiet so someone else can speak, and do share your candies with your brother. Do your homework for 12 years so you do go up and get your diploma, do your housework so your house is clean. Please notice you have to do all those things while you wait for the minutes, hours and years to pass to get the results you want.
Do you remember waiting to turn 13, 16, 18 and 21, the landmark years you long for. Then do you remember, when you hit 30, wondering why you were waiting so anxiously to reach those markers instead of enjoying your youth. I do! Isn't it ironic that you wait for 21 years and then after getting all you waited for it turns to dread, not 40, not 50, not 60 and then the pleases begin. Please Lord let me see 70, then 80, etc. Oh and don't let me live too long unless I'm in excellent health. I think I'm figuring out that my real issue is with time. I'm obviously an eternal being who is temporarily confined by this time thing. That's the real problem I have with waiting.
So I'm not impatient I'm just destined for greater things with no time constraints. No line ups cause no one is in a hurry. No wonder I'm so impatient for heaven.
If you are wondering where in the world this blog came from I'll tell you a sad story, I have to wait for no less than a month to get my new horse because the frost isn't gone from the ground until then. Isn't that sad...okay maybe a little pitiful as well but whatever. I wanted to stomp my feet and throw one of those hissy fits when the fence guy told Gord that. What a moron, I need a fence now so I can have my horse. I asked Gord why they couldn't just use some big piece of equipment and pound those posts down. Apparently it doesn't work like that so I have to wait. #.!:(x#? I don't know how to do that sweary symbol thing cause I'm not normally a swearing girl. Dosen't waiting just bring out the worst in me? Obviously I shouldn't have to wait.
I'm happy to report that although I'm still waiting for all the swelling to go down in my legs, I'm still 13 pounds lighter. In spite of my impatience I know how blessed I am and in spite of my whining God knows I am nothing but grateful. I thought of one thing I love waiting for....Jesus. "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles." Okay I'm excited to wait for that.
My prayer: Lord help us all to wait with you, for you and then find our strength to press on in you. Help us to soar to the heights of eternity regardless of how long the wait.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Do you ever wish that you could catch a glimpse of why it's so necessary to wait before you actually have to wait?"
Snapshot. That's a nice word. I'm just wanting a little peek into why it seems waiting is such a vital part of life. I'm telling you I don't appreciate the sandwich, London Fog, meal out, etc., anymore because I have to wait for it. I'd like to walk into Starbucks to find a nice young lady or a nice young man asking me what I'd like. I tell him/her, they turn around and hand me my drink. It would taste the same, cost the same and mean the same. I got what I wanted and I didn't have to wait. Line up is two word dilly if you ask me and another source of discontent for me. If I see a line up in a restaurant I usually turn and walk out. Not even food can change this deep seeded impatient issue I have. Now you know how serious this is. (I have waited for family and friends in line-ups...I'm not heartless, just impatient.)
Waiting is something everyone has to do and so many people seem to do it so much better than I. I'm sitting here trying to think of a time when I enjoyed waiting. My pregnancies came to mind, but honestly if I could have gotten a healthy baby I'd have bypassed the wait. Although I do see the value in the nine months of mental and physical preparation. Have you ever noticed that wait is often accompanied by its close friend do. As in do move forward in the line, do take a step, do exercise to get the desired body, do eat less to reach the desired weight, do be quiet so someone else can speak, and do share your candies with your brother. Do your homework for 12 years so you do go up and get your diploma, do your housework so your house is clean. Please notice you have to do all those things while you wait for the minutes, hours and years to pass to get the results you want.
Do you remember waiting to turn 13, 16, 18 and 21, the landmark years you long for. Then do you remember, when you hit 30, wondering why you were waiting so anxiously to reach those markers instead of enjoying your youth. I do! Isn't it ironic that you wait for 21 years and then after getting all you waited for it turns to dread, not 40, not 50, not 60 and then the pleases begin. Please Lord let me see 70, then 80, etc. Oh and don't let me live too long unless I'm in excellent health. I think I'm figuring out that my real issue is with time. I'm obviously an eternal being who is temporarily confined by this time thing. That's the real problem I have with waiting.
So I'm not impatient I'm just destined for greater things with no time constraints. No line ups cause no one is in a hurry. No wonder I'm so impatient for heaven.
If you are wondering where in the world this blog came from I'll tell you a sad story, I have to wait for no less than a month to get my new horse because the frost isn't gone from the ground until then. Isn't that sad...okay maybe a little pitiful as well but whatever. I wanted to stomp my feet and throw one of those hissy fits when the fence guy told Gord that. What a moron, I need a fence now so I can have my horse. I asked Gord why they couldn't just use some big piece of equipment and pound those posts down. Apparently it doesn't work like that so I have to wait. #.!:(x#? I don't know how to do that sweary symbol thing cause I'm not normally a swearing girl. Dosen't waiting just bring out the worst in me? Obviously I shouldn't have to wait.
I'm happy to report that although I'm still waiting for all the swelling to go down in my legs, I'm still 13 pounds lighter. In spite of my impatience I know how blessed I am and in spite of my whining God knows I am nothing but grateful. I thought of one thing I love waiting for....Jesus. "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles." Okay I'm excited to wait for that.
My prayer: Lord help us all to wait with you, for you and then find our strength to press on in you. Help us to soar to the heights of eternity regardless of how long the wait.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day
Monday, March 29, 2010
When it Fits
This isn't a post about clothes but about horses. I found one and he fits perfectly. It has taken a long time, since my perfect Arabian mare, Toga, died two years ago this summer, to find that fit. I wasn't going to buy a horse but found I was missing riding way more than I thought I would. I have had a horse since I was six and that few month wait for another was all I could bear. I bought a horse, Electric, after much prodding from the seller, who was also the boarder for Toga. I'm not one to be pushed to buy but I gave in because the horse was 'supposed' to be so well trained. Needless to say he was not, I also discovered that the person I bought him from was not honest on many levels...sad but sometimes when people have something they don't want, they sacrifice character to avoid losing money. I did pray about it and I did feel to buy him. I enjoyed riding him but the more I worked him, thinking he was trained, the more distressed he became. Eventually this poor untrained animal got frustrated and started to do very stupid things...like falling on me.
Todays Question: "What does this have to do with my weight loss journey?"
I'll tie it in...work with me. Very long story short, I got a trainer to ride my well trained horse, she assured me was green broke at best, she started working with him and he is becoming a beautifully trained English horse. I ride western. The trainer became a close friend both to me and Electric. God answered me one day when I asked why I felt to buy that horse. He said; "It was never about you and the horse it was about you and the trainer." The light went on, our relationship grew while Lindsey trained my horse, I value her greatly, she is a friend who adds to my life and I pray I've added to hers as well. So I learned that regardless of the horses price, a friend is worth so much more. You think I'd have known that.
Now to the perfect fit. Yesterday my husband, my son, his pretty wife and me, piled into Gord's truck and took the five and a half hour drive to Medicine to see a horse. One that we all could ride, one more relaxed than the handsome Electric. He instantly got to all of us. So beautiful, so much personality and not the least bit...untrained or scary, in spite of having not been ridin for a year. He fit like those favorite jeans on all three of us. Chantel is pregnant so she just looked, but she loved him too. We all knew he was the one. I'm so grateful, not just for the horse, Grundy is his name, but that the 11 hour drive in one day was not a waste of time. Thanking Gord, Gordon and Chantel for sacrificing a day to help me find the right fit, and to Dave, Tessa and Zayin for being the dog sitters. :)
Now for the tie in. Support! Yep, that's it. Having a support system in life is so important. In any and every area where you need to make changes or decisions. I cannot imagine how diffcult it would be to enjoy life without people who love you and support you in the struggles and in joys. Yesterday was about joys, today may be a little tougher. Regardless of what a day brings forth having people who love and support you is the best fit. My cup runs over in this area and I pray yours does too. What I have sowed into my husband, children, friends and loved ones has never failed to reap a harvest because seeds of love always grow more love. I will learn to sow better seeds into myself...it's a process but I'm going to keep pressing on until...it fits.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "What does this have to do with my weight loss journey?"
I'll tie it in...work with me. Very long story short, I got a trainer to ride my well trained horse, she assured me was green broke at best, she started working with him and he is becoming a beautifully trained English horse. I ride western. The trainer became a close friend both to me and Electric. God answered me one day when I asked why I felt to buy that horse. He said; "It was never about you and the horse it was about you and the trainer." The light went on, our relationship grew while Lindsey trained my horse, I value her greatly, she is a friend who adds to my life and I pray I've added to hers as well. So I learned that regardless of the horses price, a friend is worth so much more. You think I'd have known that.
Now to the perfect fit. Yesterday my husband, my son, his pretty wife and me, piled into Gord's truck and took the five and a half hour drive to Medicine to see a horse. One that we all could ride, one more relaxed than the handsome Electric. He instantly got to all of us. So beautiful, so much personality and not the least bit...untrained or scary, in spite of having not been ridin for a year. He fit like those favorite jeans on all three of us. Chantel is pregnant so she just looked, but she loved him too. We all knew he was the one. I'm so grateful, not just for the horse, Grundy is his name, but that the 11 hour drive in one day was not a waste of time. Thanking Gord, Gordon and Chantel for sacrificing a day to help me find the right fit, and to Dave, Tessa and Zayin for being the dog sitters. :)
Now for the tie in. Support! Yep, that's it. Having a support system in life is so important. In any and every area where you need to make changes or decisions. I cannot imagine how diffcult it would be to enjoy life without people who love you and support you in the struggles and in joys. Yesterday was about joys, today may be a little tougher. Regardless of what a day brings forth having people who love and support you is the best fit. My cup runs over in this area and I pray yours does too. What I have sowed into my husband, children, friends and loved ones has never failed to reap a harvest because seeds of love always grow more love. I will learn to sow better seeds into myself...it's a process but I'm going to keep pressing on until...it fits.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Resisting Temptation
It must be because Easter is coming, I find myself thinking alot about Jesus and how he faced every temptation and resisted. Not once did he give in. As a beleiver I'm suppose to resemble Jesus, I have moments but I assure you that if your eternal life and cleansing from sin depended on me, well...let me just say that you'd be hotter than my BFF Lucie who's soaking up the sun in Palm Springs. I'm really sorry about that truth but so grateful for Jesus.
Todays Question: "Can you imagine how difficult and how satisfying it must have been to face every temptation and overcome?"
I can't and I can. When I gain control over chocolates almonds it's empowering...when I surrender to them it is so physically gratifying...didn't see that coming did you? That is my point this morning and it's why I'm so in awe of all that God did for us through Jesus. I wish I could tell you that I'm saddened by every sin I commit, I'm obviously not or I wouldn't have over fifty pounds to lose. Let's be honest, if sin didn't feel good nobody would be doing it. Just stating the facts. Who doesn't like to dive into their favorite snack and just get lost in it? I don't feel remorse until I see the scale rise or I feel sick. It's pitiful isn't it?
I tell you this story not to glorify the things I've done wrong but to make a point. When I was a teenager our family moved from Edson, AB...small town...to Kamloops, BC...big city. I was 12 going on 13. I'd left two very good friends and the first summer after we got settled they came to visit. I was so excited when my mom drove us downtown to go shopping at the mall. It gets better...she dropped us off. Such freedom at 13. We started looking in stores and then we headed into Sears. My friends were in the change room trying on everything and anything they liked. Normal right? Then one of the two, I can't remember which, told me, after I asked how they were going to pay for all the stuff they wanted said, "We steal it." I was shocked. I'd never stolen anything more than food. Okay every kid sneaks a cookies here and there...no judgements please. My blood pressure rose, my face turned beet red and my heart started to pound, I was like, "You what?" Yep, they said stealing is easy, we'll show you, and so they did. They took things for me but I don't clearly remember taking anything, I'm sure I did I just can't remember...call it a fear blur. I do remember to this day feeling afraid and ashamed. When we got home and the loot was all over my bedroom I was happy with all the stuff they got me. It seemed so easy. They had no sense of guilt or shame, they were just excited about all the new stuff they got, if mom asked me where it came from, they bought it for me, if their parents asked them, I bought it for them. The criminal mind is brilliant. That begin a thankfully short journey of thinking it was okay to steal. I never mastered being able to walk into a store and take stuff. I did try to steal a pair of earings from K-Mart sometime after that, saw the security guard watching me and took them anyway. I got caught, my older sister worked there so they let me go. It was a very important moment on several levels. I seemed to want to get caught, wanted to be punished for my sin. Somewhere deep inside I knew it was wrong, I knew I deserved to be punished and was okay with it. I put the wheels in motion for my punishment and not once but twice never got what I deserved. Only as I write am I seeing how clearly God's hand was in this. K-Mart didn't charge me and my Dad didn't punish me. I had hand picked the stick I thought he should use to beat me. I told him what I did and handed him the stick. He took it, put it down and sent me to my room. We never talked about it again until I was much older. The look on his face was punishment enough.
God is so much more merciful than we can imagine, He goes so far ahead of us in our lives to prepare our way that it baffles me, and sometimes it takes me years to figure all the things He has done for me. Today I realize that God spared me from the punishment I deserved 30 plus years ago and Jesus is still sparing me today. I think that because someone else taught me to steal God protected me. I've noticed in these 51 years of living that when I make the choice to sin myself the consequences follow. In so many different forms. Overindulgence has proven this theory, well that and a scale. :)
I'm so glad that all the things I've done in my past have been forgiven. So glad that Jesus stayed on that cross and resisted every temptation to sin. And the most amazing part...He did it for me, someone so undeserving of such abundant grace. Someone so rotten on so many levels, who deserved so much worse and got so much more. I can't tell you why God loves me so much when He knows me like no one else, I can tell you...He feels the same way about you. Amazing isn't it!
I proclaim to you today that I love Jesus Christ will all my heart, soul, mind body and strength and I will until the day I die. No one has ever loved me like He has and no one has ever shown me how to love the unlovely like He has. I serve a remarkably forgiving Savior who gives me hope for my struggles in this life and then victory over them all in the next.
My Prayer: Lord please teach us to resist temptations and overcome by the power of your Holy Spirit who is always willing and working to strengthen us.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Can you imagine how difficult and how satisfying it must have been to face every temptation and overcome?"
I can't and I can. When I gain control over chocolates almonds it's empowering...when I surrender to them it is so physically gratifying...didn't see that coming did you? That is my point this morning and it's why I'm so in awe of all that God did for us through Jesus. I wish I could tell you that I'm saddened by every sin I commit, I'm obviously not or I wouldn't have over fifty pounds to lose. Let's be honest, if sin didn't feel good nobody would be doing it. Just stating the facts. Who doesn't like to dive into their favorite snack and just get lost in it? I don't feel remorse until I see the scale rise or I feel sick. It's pitiful isn't it?
I tell you this story not to glorify the things I've done wrong but to make a point. When I was a teenager our family moved from Edson, AB...small town...to Kamloops, BC...big city. I was 12 going on 13. I'd left two very good friends and the first summer after we got settled they came to visit. I was so excited when my mom drove us downtown to go shopping at the mall. It gets better...she dropped us off. Such freedom at 13. We started looking in stores and then we headed into Sears. My friends were in the change room trying on everything and anything they liked. Normal right? Then one of the two, I can't remember which, told me, after I asked how they were going to pay for all the stuff they wanted said, "We steal it." I was shocked. I'd never stolen anything more than food. Okay every kid sneaks a cookies here and there...no judgements please. My blood pressure rose, my face turned beet red and my heart started to pound, I was like, "You what?" Yep, they said stealing is easy, we'll show you, and so they did. They took things for me but I don't clearly remember taking anything, I'm sure I did I just can't remember...call it a fear blur. I do remember to this day feeling afraid and ashamed. When we got home and the loot was all over my bedroom I was happy with all the stuff they got me. It seemed so easy. They had no sense of guilt or shame, they were just excited about all the new stuff they got, if mom asked me where it came from, they bought it for me, if their parents asked them, I bought it for them. The criminal mind is brilliant. That begin a thankfully short journey of thinking it was okay to steal. I never mastered being able to walk into a store and take stuff. I did try to steal a pair of earings from K-Mart sometime after that, saw the security guard watching me and took them anyway. I got caught, my older sister worked there so they let me go. It was a very important moment on several levels. I seemed to want to get caught, wanted to be punished for my sin. Somewhere deep inside I knew it was wrong, I knew I deserved to be punished and was okay with it. I put the wheels in motion for my punishment and not once but twice never got what I deserved. Only as I write am I seeing how clearly God's hand was in this. K-Mart didn't charge me and my Dad didn't punish me. I had hand picked the stick I thought he should use to beat me. I told him what I did and handed him the stick. He took it, put it down and sent me to my room. We never talked about it again until I was much older. The look on his face was punishment enough.
God is so much more merciful than we can imagine, He goes so far ahead of us in our lives to prepare our way that it baffles me, and sometimes it takes me years to figure all the things He has done for me. Today I realize that God spared me from the punishment I deserved 30 plus years ago and Jesus is still sparing me today. I think that because someone else taught me to steal God protected me. I've noticed in these 51 years of living that when I make the choice to sin myself the consequences follow. In so many different forms. Overindulgence has proven this theory, well that and a scale. :)
I'm so glad that all the things I've done in my past have been forgiven. So glad that Jesus stayed on that cross and resisted every temptation to sin. And the most amazing part...He did it for me, someone so undeserving of such abundant grace. Someone so rotten on so many levels, who deserved so much worse and got so much more. I can't tell you why God loves me so much when He knows me like no one else, I can tell you...He feels the same way about you. Amazing isn't it!
I proclaim to you today that I love Jesus Christ will all my heart, soul, mind body and strength and I will until the day I die. No one has ever loved me like He has and no one has ever shown me how to love the unlovely like He has. I serve a remarkably forgiving Savior who gives me hope for my struggles in this life and then victory over them all in the next.
My Prayer: Lord please teach us to resist temptations and overcome by the power of your Holy Spirit who is always willing and working to strengthen us.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
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