It's Going Well...Thank God.

It been a week since my last post and to my surprise I have not gone crazy. Remarkable I know. I've been eating more healthy foods and less of them, both good. I've been exercising more in these last few days than I would have chosen too, but...and I do mean butt...which is sore, I'm liking the results. Not seeing it on the scale but feeling a strength in my muscles that I haven't felt for years. I've even allowed myself some treats, in moderation and usually when I know I'll be doing something to wear them off. I've surprised myself...I love the results of my work, not surprised I'm sore everywhere. It's hard for goodness sake...so hard.

Todays Question: "Do you ever gain appreciation for someone or something by going out and doing it yourself?"

The saying is true, "Walk a mile in my mocassions", until you do it you can't imagine what it's truly like. I've been a gutter installer this week, a labourer this week and a English rider in training. Three things I thought looked easy, three things I found very hard. Not killer hard like hauling concrete, but hard enough for this out of shape 52 year old. Shouldn't I be sitting in a rocking chair relaxing on the porch? I can tell you that almost every muscle in my body hurts, arms ache, neck and shoulders sore from holding back my 1200 lb horse, yeilding a hammer on the rip and tear of the barn, back is not sore even though I packed debris, lifted a metal scaffold multiple times and climbed that thing too many times to count. I think the climbing up and down the scaffold explains the sore fanny. ;)

My point, life is full of surprises. Sit down this is going to be hard for you to beleive and a little shocking. I liked it. Yep...liked being the gutter helper, liked ripping and tearing the barn up, liked English riding. Who knew? Not me that's for sure. This weekend was filled with hard physical work, from Friday to today, we are not quite done yet, but church first, then finishing touches. I'll be riding again which makes three days in a row, one hour and half rides. Amazing I can still sit or stand. So surprised by how hard it is to ride English, I've been a western rider all my life and I assure you it's way easier. I've been the cleaner for my handsome handyman, which I guess gives me labour experience, however, I've never been the assitant on major projects. I still cleaned, I can't help it, it's compulsive. Knowing when I look at the newly opened up stall for my horses, the gutter on the side of the barn, and my English stirrups, that I've done something new, and built something lasting makes me feel really proud. I've got skills I never knew I had. Yeehaw!!

It is remarkable what we can discover about ourselves when we try new things, dare to do what we've never done before no matter how big or how small they may be. I doubt I'll be jumping out of plane anytime soon, I've not yet lost connection with my head, if I do my handsome handyman will be the first to let you know, he's alwasy wanted to jump from a plane. Something wrong with that man, but I still love him.

My Prayer: "Lord help us to try new things, do things we've never done before and to always be surprised and amazed by the good things you have given us to enjoy in this beautiful place you prepared for us."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

Changing It Up

I have now decided, after my failed attempts to write everyday, that I will write when I feel inclined. Committing to write no less than a couple times a week will be a much more attainable goal. I hope. :)

Todays Question: "Do you resist change like I do and find yourself changing all the time?"

I hope so. I loved writing for the first year, missed blogging on the days I didn't. But now...I'm struggling to write and so I'm thinking that since I've changed, without realizing it once again, I guess I need to adjust. So instead of beating myself up for not writing more often, I will write as I feel led, and please know that I am not quitting this 51 pound journey. I will arrive and that blog post will be huge, since I'll be smaller. :)

I had been maintaing my 15 pound drop like a good soilder, I was getting a grip, but I've since learned that grips are unreliable. They come and go. Rude!!!! I'm a pound up. It may or may not have something to do with desserts, once again the sweet tooth I'm sure I don't have has been exposed at the root. Maybe I need to profess that I don't normally have a sweet tooth, that is true. I would much rather have a smorgasboard of breads than desserts, but chocolate mousse and cream cheese pumpkin muffins are wearing me down. Perhaps it's my medication for that exposed root. :)

I really don't want to quit, I really did mean it when I said I wasn't stopping until I lost 51 pounds. Now I'm concerned that my mind is weaving it's way around the goal and the committment like a spider weaves it's wonderous yet diabolical web.

Here are my most recent thoughts;

1. You've got years to lose this weight you set no timeline.
2. People get slimmer as they get older and apparently can't eat as much...wait it out.
3. You are going through menopause, nobody would blame you for emotional eating your hormones are wacked....(to say the least).
4. You are too angry to watch what you eat...(hormone related and sadly so true, I get so mad at objects these day. Ok, and sometimes my husband.)
5. It's toooooo hard and I'm toooooo old.
6. I look fine. (Too bad I don't feel fine...just heavy, in so many ways that have nothing to do with weight.)

You get my point I have a ton of excuses. Too bad they are not good enough for me.

So end result, changing how often I write but still committed, or should be. ;) Going to work at destroying the lies I tell myself, hitting them with the cold hard truth whether I like it or not,

My Prayer: "Lord....HELP...please."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

Oh Happy Day

The countdown ends, the day has arrived...tonight my daughter, her wonderful husband and the most adorable little Zayin come home. Ater 21 days of missing them, and the occassional moaning and groanings, I am still alive. Whew! That was close.

Todays Question: "Do you ever wonder how parents survive when their children live in foreign countries...permanently away from them?"

I do. I have that threat hanging over my head as that same daughter would love nothing more than to live full time in Italy. I'm grateful that for now, their plans are here in Edmonton.

I apologize for the "occasional" moanings I have done. I told you I love my kids second only too Jesus and my husband, so you should have known this would be a rough 21 days. Now...I have to wait for 12 hours and 35 mins for their plane to come in, I can make it.

I will be the happy blogger once again. I'll work harder now to write more often as I've lacked the inspiration I often get from my children surrounding me. I will focus, stop whining, stop complaining, etc. Wow, I need work and this may be hard. I have noticed that whining and complaining become normal after a time. They resemble the cravings I get for sugar once I cave in, I need it, want it, have to have it. This could be an interesting series of changes. I wonder if I'll go through whining/complaining withdrawal in the same ways I do sugar withdrawal.

I'll keep you posted. I'm still happily 15 pounds lighter and still getting a grip. Not perfect but much better. Truly this process is one of daily making the right choices. Sounds like life dosen't it?

My Prayer: "Lord help us all to survive the high and lows of life, equip us for every good work and remind us that we truly have so much to be grateful for. A heart of gratitude is such a beautiful thing."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

Getting a Grip

Finally can say that I had a good day, wise choices, avoided the sweets, although Gord's chocolate bar nearly did me in. I chose the healthy bar from Costco instead. Result...back to a comfortable 15lbs lighter once again.

Todays Question: "Do you ever surprise yourself?"

I do...often. On Monday morning I was hit with a huge craving for chocolate. No surprise I gave in, Christan and I were happy girls eating our chocolate. However, when I made the decision to cave I made another decision...and that surprised me. Have the choclate bar(s), whatever, ride bike for no less than half an hour. We rode 6 miles. Yep, 40 minutes. Apparently for the young Ms. Miller, easy and slow, for the 52 year old Grandma, yikes, slow down you crazy woman. I felt so much better on so many levels. Happy I got the chocolate, happy I rode bike to make up for it, so pleased I didn't skip the bike ride, that wouldn't have surprised me I 'may' have done that in the past. :)

Yesterday was a busy day and when I got home I cooked supper, a leftover creation, danced, ate, danced. Who says you can't exercise while you cook, after you eat, etc? I'm going to make a serious effort for a change, I need to exercise to see results. I hate to admit it but those people who have been saying that for years appear to be right. Crap! Pardon my language.

I want to go to Hawaii after Christmas and I would love to be no less than 20 pounds lighter. I think that's a reasonable goal and I need to succeed. Feel free to motivate me, pray for me, give me a sound talking too should I be slipping, lectures are good too. I fear I may regret writing that.

My Prayer: "Lord help us make the hard changes in our life."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day