Sunday Rocks

I love Sundays!  I think that if I had to chose a favorite day of the week it would be Sunday.  I love it because it's the end of the week and that means the beginning of a new one is about to begin.  I am a big fan of new beginnings and ever since I found my way, through Jesus to a new life, I have been a huge fan of Sunday.  It's not just about church, it's more about the fact that God knew that we would need a day to rest, a day to do whatever we consider...rest.

Todays Question:  "How do you find your rest?"

I love to be with my kids on Sunday, it does not always work out but since they spent the first 20 plus Sundays of their lives at home with us going to church, lunch, golf, visiting, and doing pretty much whatever we felt like that was fun...oh I almost forgot napping...I love napping on Sunday, I still like being with them the most on Sunday.  It's a great day to think about what really matters, reflect on what the week past gave and to wonder about what the week ahead will bring.  Life is exciting...not always fun...but always a challenge.  I love learning and that is probably why I love life, it's all about what you learn. 

I heard a great message today, Pastor Bob is such a great preacher, reminded me today of how very much God loves me and wants a relationship with me.  I love that the creator of the universe wants me to know Him.  Since it's Sunday...I think I'll just spend some time getting to know Him better as I rest.

Be blessed with a Wonderful Sunday.

Huh!

It seems I don't think as clearly in the afternoon as I do in the morning.  I'm sitting in my comfy chair trying to come up with some inspiring words of wisdom and I can't even come up with a title.  Huh!  Seems to define how I'm feeling, it's better then arghh! 

I'm surprised and happy to report that even after going out for dinner and movie with Lucie and Henry last night...so fun...I didn't gain a pound.  I even had popcorn.  Shocked and amazed...but...happy!  I'm now back to where I was  before I took a vacation.  One day I'm going to go away and come back lighter.  I'm thinking I'll need to plan a mountain climb or a two week stent on a desserted island...oops I meant deserted.  ;) 

I have been way more active lately and I am finding that I have so much more energy.  Sometimes those people who say...are actually right.  So this time "they" knew what they were talking about.  I'm glad.  My plan is to keep moving by doing things that don't make me crazy bored...like treadmills and videos.  I need to make my exercise fit into my lifestyle and that is working best for me.  I park farther away and walk, I dance at random moments and I go work at the farmhouse when I need a harder workout.  Gord would tell you I need to do that more often.  Baby steps my dear...baby steps.

I can't say this is easy but I can say it's doable.  I'm not angry about making better choices anymore...I realize I made this chubby body and I'll have to change it.  I don't feel like I'm starving or going without...I'm allowing myself to have what I truly want...I"m still surprised by what I want when I take the time to think and sometimes, pray about it.  The hardest part about the whole process is allowing myself to change and not fear my own success.  The emotional side is truly my greatest struggle when it comes to food.  Everytime I get bothered or stressed I want to eat...I'm learning to ignore that voice...not perfect yet but learning. 

Todays Question:  "Have you let your emotions rule your diet?"

I have and I'm looking forward to the day when I can say I don't do that anymore.

Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.

Mrs. Grumpy Pants

I'm always surprised by the reasons I get grumpy and I shouldn't be since they happen a few times a year, Mother's Day, a few days before Christmas, a week or so before the 3rd of Febuary and a week or so before the 5th day of August.  All days that remind me that my Calvin is with Jesus and not with his mom.  Although that makes me very happy it can also make me very grumpy, not the with Jesus part but the part where I miss him the most on those days and think about him constantly before, during and after.  I think about him every single day and I always will, it's just that those days are significant markers for me.  Both Christmas and Mother's Day are family times for us and since Calvin isn't here...sad mommy.  His birthday is the 3rd of February and I would love to celebrate with him but I can't for now...sure glad I will have an eternity to make up for the ones I've missed.  And the 5th of August is the day he met Jesus and I watched him go.  He was very happy and as strange as it may seem, I was too.  He was very tired and destined for greater things.  God gave me three remarkable children, I'm hoping I get to be with Gordon and Tessa until Christ returns, Calvin will meet us in the air with Jesus.  That keeps this grumpy momma going.

Todays Question:  "What void do you try to fill with food?"

For me the answer is Calvin, I can assure you nothing has ever tasted sweet enough or satisfied me enough to accomplish that impossible task but for some weird reason I keep trying.  Pitiful isn't it?  Yesterday I was miserable, it took all I had just to be friendly and I decided that the cure to my problem was a maple pecan danish from Tim's and then a Big Mac from McDonalds for lunch, I had no fries people..I'm not a complete failure.  :)   I ate both trying to figure out why.  I finally figured it out on our way to dinner and to watch Erin do an amazing job singing.  I'm grumpy because the 3rd is coming, I'm eating to ease the pain and to find comfort once again.  I ordered nachos, the cheese would help, didn't.  I had a bowl of soup instead and gave away my nachos.  Better.  I knew what the problem was and overeating or eating something I didn't enjoy made no sense...even to me...who knew?  So now I know what my problem is I'm hoping I can stop myself.  I need to sit in my grief and deal with it. It's not going to stop coming until I'm in heaven with Jesus and Calvin.  Those are the facts.

I need to learn that I cannot subsitute feeling with eating.  I can't stuff my feelings down because they come up regardless of how much I try to eat to stuff them.  I'm not a turkey people...okay I act like one from time to time, but I am not one.

Life is hard and things happen that we all wish we could change.  Why do we think avoidance tactics like overeating, being miserable, rude, drinking, smoking, drugs...oh I could go on, will in any way shape or form change the hard things we humans often have to deal with.  I can feel sorry for myself, and sometimes I do, but at the end of my sniffling I remember how truly blessed I am.  I got seventeen years with one of three of the most remarkable people I know.  I will have an eternity to spend with all the people I love and miss and I know without a doubt that I'll understand everything then.  For now I walk in faith, I know that Jesus has my baby and He has me too.  He'll keep those who trust in Him safe and secure eternally.  I love that and I must remember how truly blessed I am.  Mrs. Grumpy Pants knows in the inner most parts of her heart that she has been remarkably gifted and unconditionally loved by a most Holy and Wonderful God.  It will be okay.

Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.

Revenge is Kinda Sweet

I always thought that if my husband ate better then I would too.  Wrong!  Turns out that when he has to lose weight, ten pounds for his upcoming surgery, I want to eat whatever I want.  I shouldn't be surprised by that but I am.  I think maybe I'm a little bit of revenge girl, I've been on way too many diets to count, fasted for both health and spiritual reasons and watched my husband scarf down whatever he wanted in front of me. 

Todays Question:  "Do you know how hard it is to be eating fruit and vegetables beside someone whose eating pie and icecream?"

I do.  Gord eats whatever he wants most of the time, his sandwiches make mine look like bread with lettuce, oh wait, that's what they are.  He eats a huge meal and then in an hour or two needs a bowl of cereal so he dosen't starve.  So maybe, just maybe I'm a little annoyed by that...or jealous.  He's only got ten pounds to lose, not fifty one.

I have been very fair never expecting him to eat like I chose too.  But you should see his face when I'm eating something he now can't have.  He looks at me like I'm Benedict Arnold or someone like him.  Turncoat, trader, bad wife and a host of other things I'm sure I read on his face.  I even told him the other day that I may have forty one pounds to lose but it can happen in my time, it's not Dr's orders.  So there!  I didn't say that part but he got the message.  :)

I should be feeling really bad that Gord has to lose ten pounds...I'm not.  Does that make me a horrible person?  Maybe, but after years of watching him eat while I'm always, "watching what I eat", I'm feeling a little justified, a little more understood.  It's good to know that others understand what you go through.  I'm helping him by cooking healthier meals and buying him good snacks, I'm not all bad.  I just hope he gains some understanding for my struggle with weight while he's losing those ten pounds.  A little compassion goes along way baby.

Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.