I'm happily reporting that I have lost the two pounds I gained yesterday and for the fourth time, I am back to the ten pound loss I so love to visit and re-visit. It is amazing how effective getting a grip can be. Thank you ladies for your prayers, thank you MistE and Vanessa for your notes, thank you Wendy for your quote. You all have helped me so much with your encouragement.
I realized something during the process, that's right during, I need to really be pre-prayered before holidays. They are brutal reminders of all the things in my life that have changed. I'm certainly not saying the good memories are outnumbered by the bad, that is so far from the truth, I just miss my kids the most on holidays. Especially my Calvin, and yes I know he is happy with Jesus, I just miss him and that is okay.
Todays Question: "Why wasn't I born in India or Italy?"
In those wonderful countries the kids just stay with you, in many parts of Europe they have to live with their parents, they can't afford to move. I was born in the wrong country and I can't convince my kids and their spouses that they don't need their nice houses and their own place. Oh well, enough whining.
I found my reason, I knew it, didn't want to look at it so I ate it instead. If you smother sorrow in chocolate it does go down better. You know that's true, only bad taste left was the hollow spot I still had. And I do know that God fills that hole completely my MistE, it's just that every now and then my pitiful side emerges until He reminds me again of how great His love is and how blessed I am. I feel so much better now. So thank you Lord, and thank you my friends. I'm back on track and I've learned. A billion pillowcases full of candy will not fill the longing I have for heaven. I'm not rushing to get there, but I am excited to go.
Be blessed with a wonderful day.
love you :)
ReplyDeleteOh Jenny, you brought tears to my eyes today in your writing. I can relate to you in so many ways. I know Heaven seems all the more real & sweet when our close loved ones are there already. Like you Jenny, I am looking forward to being reunited with our loved ones, but also happy to be here too! Holidays/Special Occasions do something in my heart also with missing Travis & Lauren - experiencing everyday stuff when Travis was still at home. With Brandon also getting more & more independant.. it's bringing milestones/changes that I want to selfishly reverse at times, so I can hold on to the yesteryears. Certain times I have to bite my lip & give no more hints of "when & if" T & L would move back. Right now Travis loves the ocean and no convincing will bring him back for now! So like you are saying, to be pre-prayed up before holidays come, phone calls happen & our heart aches for loved ones to be near, makes us at a better advantage of staying on top of our emotions & desires. Hey...it's okay to miss the ole' days as long as we keep knowing that there will be a brighter day yet ahead for each one of us. Keep being the beautiful person that you are, Jenny! We are all loving your honesty & braveness. God bless you. With continued Love & Prayers WM
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