Gift With Purchase

This retailer's catch phrase has been in my mind now for about a week.  I keep thinking that it's true, then it's not true, then it's true...etc.  I have from time to time bought something I did not need to get a gift with purchase.  In my defense I've never bought something I knew I wouldn't use just to get the gift unless I was buying a gift for someone else.  For example; I bought my husband some cologne that I loved the smell of that he'd never worn before because it came with a great gift with purchase.  I've also gone looking for gifts with purchase on my own perfume, sadly they rarely give them and I refuse to change for a "free" gift.

That was about the extent of my retail thoughts and then the counselor in me went right to the emotional side of that statement.  I thought of the many people I've counseled over the years who tell me about the things their parents or friends give them or do for them, sounds good right, until they tell me how those things are later used as tools to manipulate them.  I gave you that car so now you have to do this for me, I helped you get a loan, gave you that cell phone, bought you what you wanted for Christmas...etc., and now you owe me.  I call those the, "gifts with purchase", and I mean you were given a gift that included a purchase and that purchase was you.  And that is exactly how the retailers have taught us to think, buy this and you get that. I buy you a great gift, you have to get me one, I give you my time and you owe me yours.  This gift with purchase mentality comes in many forms and robs us of the simple pleasure of giving....with no return.

The problem is people do not respond well to this type of gifting and they should not.  I am surrounded by family and friends who truly know what it is to give a gift.  I've also experienced the odd person who gives a gift with expectation and I can assure I don't want gifts from those people, sadly they are usually people we are close to.  My advice to my patients is that they should let the family member or friend know that if the gifts they give come with conditions they are not gifts and should be rejected.  I seriously don't want a gift from someone who sees me as their gift with purchase.  Gifts from the heart are a true blessing, people who give and never expect anything in return have learned what it is to give not caring if they get anything back.  It is a wonderful feeling to give to someone who can never give you anything back.

It is very difficult to see children of all ages struggle to say no to gifts with purchase from their parents, if I say no to the new car which I need so badly, I'm free of obligation, but I want that car so I'll do what they want and the car will be worth it.  From my side of the couch, the price is too high and it's not worth it.  Every child, no matter the age looks for unconditional love from their parents, these type of gifts do nothing to convince a child that you love them without condition, they actually prove to the child that you don't.  I am not saying that giving a gift to your child and making an agreement about how they can obtain said gift is wrong, I'm saying that giving them something that you plan to later use against them is wrong...on every level.  Once a gift is truly given it no longer belongs to the giver...in any way, shape or form, not even as a reminder.

The people we love should never receive a gift with purchase from us, we should always give as wonderfully to our children as God does to His.  Our families, our friends and the people we give to are the gifts and in my opinion, the gift I get with every purchase is the joy of knowing I expressed my love without condition.

Merry Christmas   

The Absence of Truth

I was looking at a picture the other day of a women who weighed more after regular exercise, with weight training, but looked lighter than her before picture and weighed less.  I've heard that this is true but hadn't seen an actual picture of it.  And then...

Doubt...disbelief..and skepticism moved my brain into a process of thought that made me miss the days of old when pictures couldn't be airbrushed, photo shopped or easily altered.  As I stood readying myself for the day I sucked in my stomach posed and let it out...two completely different reflections with the mere act of a deep breathe in and out.  Perhaps that's how they got that picture that now seemed burned in my mind.

Now that I was on a rabbit trail of thought I followed it, when did everything seen, heard, pictured, advertised, etc., stop having even a grain of truth in it?  Why can't we just tell the truth to sell our products and dare I say it...why don't consumers demand truth from advertisers and retailers.  My guess...we want what they tell us to be true and so we buy in, filled with hope for that easy solution to solve our problems, we want the reward without the work and because we've become this "lie to me with the hope of truth" generation, we buy, we find out it does not work and then without complaint we wait...until the next promised filled perfect solution advertiser seduces us and off to bed we go with a smile on our faces.  So sad.

Shouldn't we be tired of being lied too?  Don't we have the power to stop this perpetual exploitation of our wallets?  You know the answer is yes.

Technology is wonderful, deception, not so great.  I realize we have to take the good with the bad, I just wish that a picture was still worth a thousand words.  I would love knowing that what I see is actually what the photographer saw.  I'd also like it if advertisers still had to tell the truth at the risk of being closed down for good.  Scams have become the normal practice, lies are acceptable and worse yet...to be expected, advertisers who "stretch the truth" do it with wonderfully creative flair and I find myself wondering why they couldn't expend the same amount of energy on being honest.  When did it stop being necessary to be legitimate?

I genuinely miss the truth and the absence of it has me concerned.  What will become of a generation who has to doubt everything they hear?

Redirection is Good

So it's official...I have changed the title and the site with my beautiful daughters help and I am now blogging on whatever I choose, no one subject, but any one of the many topics one can discuss.  I shall endeavor to avoid tedious ramblings, horrible psycho babble and tones of monotony, can't be guaranteeing it, but shall put in great efforts.

I''m honestly tired of writing about my struggle with weight loss, even more tired of trying to rid myself of these last 40 pounds.  I realize that would sound better and makes more sense if I was saying 4 pounds, however, I still have 40 pounds to go in my 51 pound journey.  I will not say I failed on this journey, I merely miscalculated how long it takes someone as stubborn as I to arrive at such a distant destination.  So every once in awhile I'll let you know when the gap closes, DO NOT HOLD YOUR BREATH.   :)

"Choice - It's Mine" is a blogspot that I hope reminds us all that we are so graciously given the gift of choices, we make them every single day in more ways than can be counted, sadly we forget that we are choosing our path,  liking to blame others when things go wrong.  Sometimes other people make choices that hurt, bless, confuse, anger us, etc.  We still choose how we respond and therefore still make the choice.  Good or bad, happy or sad.  I love when people make the choice to bless, help, comfort, gently guide, protect, etc., however that isn't always how I react so I'm expecting that others struggle with making good choices as well.  Practice does indeed make perfect...if you choose to practice those positive things, remember that some people are really good at being miserable and practice has indeed made them perfectly miserable.  So,
one day at a time works best, God said it best when He said..."each day is sufficient enough for itself."

If you'd like to walk with me through the choices I make and see others making, to discuss them not just for the sake of discussion but with intention to make a difference either by learning from my mistakes and doing better next time, or by doing something right, or seeing someone else do the same, and sharing the end results of those thoughtful and day changing choices...then I'd love to choose life, love and genuine kindness with you and together work to make better choices on a daily basis.

I've chosen many great things over these 53 years of my life and the best choices I make are always inspired by love.

My prayer is to be compassionate example in every choice I make.  I will be needing help Lord.

Make great choices my friends ...make sure your friends think they did in you.


"Choose each day who you will serve"....and then serve well.