I was going to write you all a little story about an elderly woman who planted a garden, she watered it everyday for months, fetilized her plants everyday and after those months of faithful care and attention to weeds, one wonderful plant yielded her a 16 pound tomatoe. However, I've never seen or heard of a tomatoe that big so I decided that I would relate my weight loss to you in the butter form. I used a pound and a half of butter over the weekend baking. Yes I bake, now get up.
Todays Question: "Do you realize that 16 pounds of anything is alot."
I don't think I appreciate how much weight that is because like a typical weight watcher I want more results. Everytime I get to one 10 pound marker I'm thinking that the next will be better. Sad isn't it. Should really learn to enjoy where I am instead of thinking how much better 20 pounds of butter will be. I should have grown watermelons in my garden story, they get huge.
I am so happy to tell you that I am still 16 pounds down, even after baking banana nut muffins, and my mom's cookies, I don't know what they are called. I may be able to thank myself for not gaining, the cookies did not turn out as good as they normally do and I'm not sure what I did. I'll just be grateful that the ones I gave to Chantel were good, and half the muffins went to her as well, they were delicious. We also had a wonderful dinner on Sunday, Gord made all the turkey dinner usuals with a roasted chicken instead, yummy, I'll be making soup for super with the leftovers. It was a great weekend, baking with Zayin, spending time with our youngest Zayin, and our oldest grandson Joshua, and visits with our new little Scarlett Lee, she's so beautiful. I seriously have the cutest grandchildren in the world. :) (No arguements from fellow grandparents...we are all right ok.)
Every weekend that passes and I don't see the scale rise feels like a huge success to me, seriously weekends used to always yeild a rise on the scale. I'm no longer looking at the weekend as a time to over-indulge and forget that I have a goal. That is so outside of my normal that I don't have words to describe it. As you can see I'm not usually short on words, so truly remarkable to say the least.
It was a great weekend and I will work to make sure it's a great week as well. When I dropped to 16 pounds I was a little nervous about Monday, I thought I'd surely be back up again and I thought about not writing so I could cover my butt...so to speak. I'm glad I did and so glad I'm still posting 16 pounds lighter.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to be committed and honorable to ourselves and to others. Help us to remember that you love us and want whats best for us as well. It's easier to ask you to help others and harder to ask for help ourselves, but remind us daily that you also want to give us the desires of our hearts."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Results
It's been a long time since I have had a two pound loss but yesterday and today I've had just that. Yesterday I didn't write because I have my two grandsons with me this weekend, oldest almost 15 Joshua, and youngest 1 1/2 Zayin. Two wonderful boys that keep Grandma busy. Josh is actually helping so much with his younger cousin.
I've been trying to figure out how I dropped two pounds so quickly. No answer. I have been eating the same but I guess the changes are finally paying off. I have been up more in the night with Zayin so maybe it's good to move more than you sleep.
Todays Question: "Do you ever forget like I do how active young children are?"
Maybe that's why I've dropped two pounds. I'm not sitting too much that's for sure. If my laptop lid is up he's crawling up onto Grandmas chair asking for the wheee wheee as he calls it. That's the train videos I made the mistake of showing him. Now he is an avid train video watcher. Yes it is just trains running down the track, the train whistle and the crossings arms with lights and bells are his favorites. He even pumps his little arm up and down as the train crosses. Quite cute, but a little boring after about 10 trips down the track.
I felt like sounding my own bells and whistles when I weighed yesterday, I wanted to run down a track honking my own horn. When I still weighed the same this morning I was pleasantly surprised. Two pounds lighter, it's remarkable and worthy of an ad in the Beaumont paper. I won't be letting them cover this story however, they'd ask too many personal questions. Like how much do you weigh? How long has it taken you? Why has it taken this long? I wouldn't want to hurt a reporter so I'll put off the ad until I reach my goal. :)
It truly is such an encouragement to see a result after sitting in the same place again for so long. I guess my body is slow to lose the weight but does get the job done if I don't quit. These past 9 months have marked the longest I have ever stuck to a lifestyle change. I keep saying no to excess and yes to moderation, it is working. The results are slower but they come and I'm learning in the process to be satisfied with less. I love having my treat a week, only rarely do I have a two or three little treats a week. I used to live on a treat whenever it showed up schedule. It was fun, but the evidence of it was not nearly as enjoyable. So....I am, for the first time 16 pounds lighter. I'll try not to break my arm patting myself on the back...but know this....I'll be patting. :)
My Prayer: "Lord help us to keep working until we see the results we want, let us be faithful to finish regardless of how long the journey takes. It truly is about finishing well."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
I've been trying to figure out how I dropped two pounds so quickly. No answer. I have been eating the same but I guess the changes are finally paying off. I have been up more in the night with Zayin so maybe it's good to move more than you sleep.
Todays Question: "Do you ever forget like I do how active young children are?"
Maybe that's why I've dropped two pounds. I'm not sitting too much that's for sure. If my laptop lid is up he's crawling up onto Grandmas chair asking for the wheee wheee as he calls it. That's the train videos I made the mistake of showing him. Now he is an avid train video watcher. Yes it is just trains running down the track, the train whistle and the crossings arms with lights and bells are his favorites. He even pumps his little arm up and down as the train crosses. Quite cute, but a little boring after about 10 trips down the track.
I felt like sounding my own bells and whistles when I weighed yesterday, I wanted to run down a track honking my own horn. When I still weighed the same this morning I was pleasantly surprised. Two pounds lighter, it's remarkable and worthy of an ad in the Beaumont paper. I won't be letting them cover this story however, they'd ask too many personal questions. Like how much do you weigh? How long has it taken you? Why has it taken this long? I wouldn't want to hurt a reporter so I'll put off the ad until I reach my goal. :)
It truly is such an encouragement to see a result after sitting in the same place again for so long. I guess my body is slow to lose the weight but does get the job done if I don't quit. These past 9 months have marked the longest I have ever stuck to a lifestyle change. I keep saying no to excess and yes to moderation, it is working. The results are slower but they come and I'm learning in the process to be satisfied with less. I love having my treat a week, only rarely do I have a two or three little treats a week. I used to live on a treat whenever it showed up schedule. It was fun, but the evidence of it was not nearly as enjoyable. So....I am, for the first time 16 pounds lighter. I'll try not to break my arm patting myself on the back...but know this....I'll be patting. :)
My Prayer: "Lord help us to keep working until we see the results we want, let us be faithful to finish regardless of how long the journey takes. It truly is about finishing well."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Bono, U2 - Postponed.
I'm sure you have all heard about our Canadian leg being postponed. I'm sure that you U2 fans, like me were disappointed. I really wanted to whine, grumble and complain, however, I'm glad to report that I couldn't because I had this little voice in the back of my head reminding me that this isn't about me. Bono's injury didn't develop overnight, but once torn it is reported that he was in extreme pain. He's a man and one thing I know about men is that they do not like pain...so I'm sure that he didn't plan this to disappoint Albertans. I imagine that after all he's been through, including partial paralysis to one of his legs, he's probably a little relieved, after a successful surgery, to have that feeling restored. I'm sure he's grateful that the hernia he had was also found and repaired. I would bet money, and I have no where near as much as Bono does, that he feels bad about his body letting him down, just like we all do when these bodies that were born to deteriorate do just that. I'd also bet his wife and children don't really care about the concerts he misses, anymore than I did about the work Gord missed while having his hernia repaired. I just wanted him better, returned to normal. Okay, I admit I was tried of doing all the heavy lifting. I didn't say I wasn't a little selfish. In my defense, Gord, like most good men, does not like sitting back and watching people work. I think Bono is that kind of man. Always doing. I love men like that.
Todays Question: "Do you ever think that God is your own personal...Yes Man."
Sometimes I do. I pray for Bono to heal quickly so that he can perform for me, he was coming to Edmonton just for me wasn't he? God knows how long his healing will take and is more interested in the well being of this very giving and generous man, than his concert schedule. I am guilty of wanting instant healings and quick answers to my prayer. I get what is best for me and grumble while God works on my behalf, in spite of my grumblings. If something does not go the way I think it should the festival of moans begins. I pray, Gods answer isn't yes or instant and then I act like I'm God because I know yes and now was the right answer. I hate to admit this but from time to time, I even dare to get mad. I want you to know that I cannot count how many times I have had to ask God to forgive me because I was mad He didn't say yes to something I wanted, or made me wait only to give me something better. I'm so glad God is patient and waits for me to figure things out. So sorry it takes me so long to get the right heart and the right attitude...so often. But truly grateful that God is not anyones Yes Man...including mine.
It always amazes me how God so carefully plans our lives. Bono made one plan, God made another. I'm sure glad that we will get to see Bono perform another day, in good health, free of pain, and I don't have to wait to see him sing live in heaven. I know how dangerous these hernias can be, internal tears can be deadly if they happen at the wrong time, and the wrong place. I remember trusting God with Gord when my fear would come up, what if his hernia tears and all those toxins spread throughout his body. I remember trusting God and having peace on the day of Gord's surgery. I am so grateful that his healing has been so complete and I pray anyone, not just Bono, who needs a complete healing would receive it.
I am reminded this morning that only God knows the plans He has for us. He will prosper us and He will bless us, whether it is on earth or in heaven. We are born to die so we can live forever. Sometimes I think we forget that. This is a wear and tearing body we have and I'm so glad it's temporary.
My Prayer: "Lord thank you. Thank you for doing and knowing what is best for us and for forgiving us for those times when you work and we grumble. I know that we will all be surprised by how many times we were complaining while you were preparing and sparing. Your attention to detail is amazing and your unconditional love is beyond description....once again...thank you."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Do you ever think that God is your own personal...Yes Man."
Sometimes I do. I pray for Bono to heal quickly so that he can perform for me, he was coming to Edmonton just for me wasn't he? God knows how long his healing will take and is more interested in the well being of this very giving and generous man, than his concert schedule. I am guilty of wanting instant healings and quick answers to my prayer. I get what is best for me and grumble while God works on my behalf, in spite of my grumblings. If something does not go the way I think it should the festival of moans begins. I pray, Gods answer isn't yes or instant and then I act like I'm God because I know yes and now was the right answer. I hate to admit this but from time to time, I even dare to get mad. I want you to know that I cannot count how many times I have had to ask God to forgive me because I was mad He didn't say yes to something I wanted, or made me wait only to give me something better. I'm so glad God is patient and waits for me to figure things out. So sorry it takes me so long to get the right heart and the right attitude...so often. But truly grateful that God is not anyones Yes Man...including mine.
It always amazes me how God so carefully plans our lives. Bono made one plan, God made another. I'm sure glad that we will get to see Bono perform another day, in good health, free of pain, and I don't have to wait to see him sing live in heaven. I know how dangerous these hernias can be, internal tears can be deadly if they happen at the wrong time, and the wrong place. I remember trusting God with Gord when my fear would come up, what if his hernia tears and all those toxins spread throughout his body. I remember trusting God and having peace on the day of Gord's surgery. I am so grateful that his healing has been so complete and I pray anyone, not just Bono, who needs a complete healing would receive it.
I am reminded this morning that only God knows the plans He has for us. He will prosper us and He will bless us, whether it is on earth or in heaven. We are born to die so we can live forever. Sometimes I think we forget that. This is a wear and tearing body we have and I'm so glad it's temporary.
My Prayer: "Lord thank you. Thank you for doing and knowing what is best for us and for forgiving us for those times when you work and we grumble. I know that we will all be surprised by how many times we were complaining while you were preparing and sparing. Your attention to detail is amazing and your unconditional love is beyond description....once again...thank you."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Self Pity
There are days when I forget how truly blessed I am. I was reminded this morning of just how little I have to complain about while reading a blog from an army wife. She wasn't complaining about her husband going, just talking about getting ready for it. I felt like there was an elephant in the blog, as opposed to the room. She said he was going, but did not talk about how sad that was. I imagined that it would just be too painful. It made me think about how I feel sorry for myself when I don't get the results I want from that scale. Still sitting at 14 pounds down. I whine, in my head not outloud, about how bored I get with things. This morning I was bored with blogging, bored with games, bored with housework, whine...whine...whine.
Todays Question: "Am I the only seriously pitiful...self pitiful person in the world?"
That probably is not good grammer or a great quesiton....I do know the answer....I'm not. However, this morning I'm feeling like it. I need to stop! Stop feeling sorry for myself that is. Being bored with things is normal, and probably a good way to weed out what is important and what isn't in my life. Like how much time I can waste playing on my computer. I should be finishing my book edits and working on my next one. I could be at the farmhouse doing any number of things that need doing. Let's don't even talk about how much I need to do at the city house to get ready to move. Oh dear.
Why? That's it. Why? Why do I forget how blessed I am to have a house to sell, to have bought my dream acreage that is even better than I dreamed only 2 mins from where I live. Why do I forget that I have great children, beautiful grandchildren who are healthy, so happy and loved. Why do I waste time when I know how precious it is? Why do I grumble about things that don't really matter? What is my problem?
Answer....self pity. Things are not going the way I want them too, so I wallow. It has to end. In the words of my beautiful daughter I need to, "Suck it up princess." And so I shall. My husband isn't going to fight a war he didn't start. My children are close to me and safe. I have so much to be grateful for and I'm replacing today's attitude with gratitude and that's that.
My Prayer: "Lord help me to remember how high the height I fell from was and how great a work you did, not just for me, but for all of us in lifting us up."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Am I the only seriously pitiful...self pitiful person in the world?"
That probably is not good grammer or a great quesiton....I do know the answer....I'm not. However, this morning I'm feeling like it. I need to stop! Stop feeling sorry for myself that is. Being bored with things is normal, and probably a good way to weed out what is important and what isn't in my life. Like how much time I can waste playing on my computer. I should be finishing my book edits and working on my next one. I could be at the farmhouse doing any number of things that need doing. Let's don't even talk about how much I need to do at the city house to get ready to move. Oh dear.
Why? That's it. Why? Why do I forget how blessed I am to have a house to sell, to have bought my dream acreage that is even better than I dreamed only 2 mins from where I live. Why do I forget that I have great children, beautiful grandchildren who are healthy, so happy and loved. Why do I waste time when I know how precious it is? Why do I grumble about things that don't really matter? What is my problem?
Answer....self pity. Things are not going the way I want them too, so I wallow. It has to end. In the words of my beautiful daughter I need to, "Suck it up princess." And so I shall. My husband isn't going to fight a war he didn't start. My children are close to me and safe. I have so much to be grateful for and I'm replacing today's attitude with gratitude and that's that.
My Prayer: "Lord help me to remember how high the height I fell from was and how great a work you did, not just for me, but for all of us in lifting us up."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Forward Ho!
This is me this morning...I'm forward ho...ing. I think that's a new word. I had a wonderful weekend, didn't go crazy overeating, did however enjoy way more bread on those days at the hospital than normal. I know God says that man cannot live on bread alone but I love it enough that I think giving it a shot would be fun. Be assured I know the rest of that scripture and know I've used it out of context. Don't want to be a false teacher. :)
Todays Question: "Do you ever wonder what makes a food your favorite?"
So many peope in this world with so many different likes and dislikes. I've tried to love my husbands favorite thing in the drinking world. That would be coffee. I've disquised it in many ways, that sugar syrup, better. Tons of cream and sugar, gross. I can almost stand the French Vanila kinds, but still can't drink a cup...too much...too disgusting. I can say I enjoy it as an Iced Cap from Tim's but if they don't put in enough cream, yuck. I think I've finally given up trying to like it. It does wake me up when I'm dozing off, but I think I'd really rather sleep. I'm sure that I'll always hate coffee. I know hate is a powerful word but if you saw my face after I drink coffee you'd see it is the right word.
Where am I going with this one? Well, let me tell you, I'm trying to figure out why I eat things I don't really enjoy and drink things I can't stand because of some strange thing in my brain that tells me I must like them, because other people do. Isn't that silly. And how often do you do it? We are strange us humans...at least this one is.
So, new goal, don't eat what I don't like, don't make yourself like something that isn't good for you and regardless of your goals....forward ho!
Mr Prayer: "God bless us with wisdom, it seems to be in short supply."
(I'm speaking for myself Lord and anyone else who does silly things like I do.)
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Do you ever wonder what makes a food your favorite?"
So many peope in this world with so many different likes and dislikes. I've tried to love my husbands favorite thing in the drinking world. That would be coffee. I've disquised it in many ways, that sugar syrup, better. Tons of cream and sugar, gross. I can almost stand the French Vanila kinds, but still can't drink a cup...too much...too disgusting. I can say I enjoy it as an Iced Cap from Tim's but if they don't put in enough cream, yuck. I think I've finally given up trying to like it. It does wake me up when I'm dozing off, but I think I'd really rather sleep. I'm sure that I'll always hate coffee. I know hate is a powerful word but if you saw my face after I drink coffee you'd see it is the right word.
Where am I going with this one? Well, let me tell you, I'm trying to figure out why I eat things I don't really enjoy and drink things I can't stand because of some strange thing in my brain that tells me I must like them, because other people do. Isn't that silly. And how often do you do it? We are strange us humans...at least this one is.
So, new goal, don't eat what I don't like, don't make yourself like something that isn't good for you and regardless of your goals....forward ho!
Mr Prayer: "God bless us with wisdom, it seems to be in short supply."
(I'm speaking for myself Lord and anyone else who does silly things like I do.)
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Monday, May 24, 2010
Was it Worth the Wait?
It has been three days since I wrote and I'm so sorry but this beautiful little girl, who had us waiting for 21 mins short of one week, finally decided on Friday, May 21, 2010, to bless us with her arrival. She was totally worth the wait. This Grandma is already so in love with her adorable little face, her beautiful blonde hair, that matches her daddy's spikes without gel, and her big blue eyes. She is healthly and such a happy little baby.
Todays Question: "Do you ever wonder why Dr.'s say a baby is overdue when there is no way they can know exactly when they are conceived?"
Gordon and I do. They shouldn't call it a due date they should call it our best guess, give or take a week or two. We are very happy little Scarlett Lee came when she felt like it. I can't tell you how blessed I feel to have a little girl named after me. Lee is my middle name and Scarlett is the first grandchild with my name in hers. Gordon and Chantel really know how to make someone feel loved and special, I also got to name Zayin so, double whammy for Grammy. :)
Waiting for our little Scarlett Lee reminded Grandma that anything truly remarkable is worth the wait. And although some of you may not think being the weight you should be or being as fit as you should be is worth waiting for, (when I say some of you I mean me of course) it is. I can only imagine at this point that feeling no pain in these sore unused muscles, would be remarkable. Not taking half an hour to stop hurting after arising would be nice. Let's not forget how good it would feel not to have to lug an extra 51 pounds around...ok...or more. This has been a slow process and on the pregnancy scale I only have a month to go until this baby should be delivered. Let the record state I'm expecting my big 51 pound baby to be somewhat overdue. Perhaps I'll deliver in another nine months.
Chantel and Gordon were telling me that about a minute or so before Scarlett's arrived the Dr's were more than a little concerned. Her little heart rate dropped from around 140 to 70. Not good. The Dr.'s had time to mention that an emergency c-section may be needed. However, our little Scarlett was merely preparing herself for a quick entry into this world. She went from 0 to 60 in mere seconds and showed the world that she was indeed her daddy's girl. She likes speed. Grandma loves the example she gave by whipping down the birth canal. She saw a job that needed doing and bamm...she did it.
When I grow up, I want to be like Scarlett Lee Mernickle. Seven pounds fourteen ounces of pure joy and determination. Now you can see why Grandma is so in love with her and feels so blessed to have such amazing grandchildren.
My Prayer: "Help us all to fix our eyes on the tasks that need doing in our lives and go for it, without fear, putting our trust in You. Thank you for your faithfulness to bring us forth."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Do you ever wonder why Dr.'s say a baby is overdue when there is no way they can know exactly when they are conceived?"
Gordon and I do. They shouldn't call it a due date they should call it our best guess, give or take a week or two. We are very happy little Scarlett Lee came when she felt like it. I can't tell you how blessed I feel to have a little girl named after me. Lee is my middle name and Scarlett is the first grandchild with my name in hers. Gordon and Chantel really know how to make someone feel loved and special, I also got to name Zayin so, double whammy for Grammy. :)
Waiting for our little Scarlett Lee reminded Grandma that anything truly remarkable is worth the wait. And although some of you may not think being the weight you should be or being as fit as you should be is worth waiting for, (when I say some of you I mean me of course) it is. I can only imagine at this point that feeling no pain in these sore unused muscles, would be remarkable. Not taking half an hour to stop hurting after arising would be nice. Let's not forget how good it would feel not to have to lug an extra 51 pounds around...ok...or more. This has been a slow process and on the pregnancy scale I only have a month to go until this baby should be delivered. Let the record state I'm expecting my big 51 pound baby to be somewhat overdue. Perhaps I'll deliver in another nine months.
Chantel and Gordon were telling me that about a minute or so before Scarlett's arrived the Dr's were more than a little concerned. Her little heart rate dropped from around 140 to 70. Not good. The Dr.'s had time to mention that an emergency c-section may be needed. However, our little Scarlett was merely preparing herself for a quick entry into this world. She went from 0 to 60 in mere seconds and showed the world that she was indeed her daddy's girl. She likes speed. Grandma loves the example she gave by whipping down the birth canal. She saw a job that needed doing and bamm...she did it.
When I grow up, I want to be like Scarlett Lee Mernickle. Seven pounds fourteen ounces of pure joy and determination. Now you can see why Grandma is so in love with her and feels so blessed to have such amazing grandchildren.
My Prayer: "Help us all to fix our eyes on the tasks that need doing in our lives and go for it, without fear, putting our trust in You. Thank you for your faithfulness to bring us forth."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Rear Ended
So last week I got rear ended. Thankfully not too hard. I was sitting waiting for a car to go so I could and bamm, she hit me, I guess she thought I'd already gone. I'm not really sure what she was thinking about at all since my SUV is bigger than a normal sized vehicle and kinda hard to miss. Not too much damage, no one hurt, just me and Zayin in the car. I got out of the car to see what damage was done and the poor young girl was calling herself stupid and apoligizing before I could call her the dumb a-- I'd called her when she hit me.
Todays Question: "Why is it that when I'm in a car and I get scared that three letter word for butt comes out?"
Tessa is going to be really happy with me if Zayin learns that from Grandma. Thankfully I reserve it for scares in the car, I seem to have no control over myself, the word is out before I realize it's happened. As soon as that poor young girl called herself stupid she had my pity. Be assured that I would not have been anything but nice to her, even if she didn't get out of her car apologizing, my first reaction to fear is always my only negative response. You would enjoy running into me, I'm very kind and forgiving. After I privately call you an ___! :)
Why is this important you may wonder? Well, I'm surprised by how much I didn't care that she'd hit me. All I could think of was that this poor little girl had such low self-image. She kept saying she was stupid, how could she be so dumb, she'd already been in an accident. "You have no idea how mad I am at myself." She said most convincingly. I reminded her that they are called accidents because no one does them on purpose. Again, "I'm so stupid." Yes, I told her she was not stupid and that blank moments in life happen to everyone. She just shook her head in disgust.
So how does this relate to a weight loss blog? Well, skinny mini, good looking, wrinkle free young girl, maybe 20, runs into chubby bubby, wrinkled but good looking 51 year old women. Which one of us do you think should be annoyed? Who should be carefree and loving life? Who should be thinking, yeah I hit a car, so what, look at my fabulous figure, my wrinkle free face and my thick hair. I'm young enough to work to pay it off. I look amazing, it's my parents insurance, good news for me? Yes her. Instead I'm all relaxed and care free, ignore my fear word, trying to comfort the young woman insulting herself. Puts things in perspective for me. When I was her age, I never appreciated how great I looked, didn't even have a clue actually. I had no idea what was going to happen to my great figure, ate what I wanted and didn't give a rats. Was life good, not really, I had no idea who I was. I thought I was happy, thought I knew so much, but if I'd have run into someone I'd have probably been saying and doing excatly what she was. Isn't that sad?
I don't know how many young women I have reading this blog. For that matter I don't know how many older woman I have reading this blog, okay I'll add middle aged women, no clue either. What I do know is that we all need to learn to appreciate our bodies, minds and spirits, where we are at this moment. There isn't an age where we know it all. Our bodies will always be changing, whether it's a self inflicted change or a gravitational shift. I think we women need to be rear ended mentally from time to time just to snap our heads back quick enough to wake us up. Mistakes don't make you stupid, they teach you. Wrinkle free faces are not a product of youth my friends, the reason we get the wrinkles is because of our youth. That girl didn't have wrinkles, but I can assure you that I was watching her work on getting them. In four or five more years she'll have made that frown permanent unless she quits beating herself up for doing things she deems as stupid. I hope I taught that young girl something, how to act when someone accidentally hits you. Whether it's with a car, words, looks or a hand. I chose how I see myself and no one decides for me.
I'm going to write that again so it goes deep, not just in you but in me. I chose how I see myself. I decide where my focus will be and what it will be on. I chose to love myself and embrace every aspect and every journey...even my rear ending. :)
My Prayer: "God help us to love ourselves like you do...without condition."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
+-
Todays Question: "Why is it that when I'm in a car and I get scared that three letter word for butt comes out?"
Tessa is going to be really happy with me if Zayin learns that from Grandma. Thankfully I reserve it for scares in the car, I seem to have no control over myself, the word is out before I realize it's happened. As soon as that poor young girl called herself stupid she had my pity. Be assured that I would not have been anything but nice to her, even if she didn't get out of her car apologizing, my first reaction to fear is always my only negative response. You would enjoy running into me, I'm very kind and forgiving. After I privately call you an ___! :)
Why is this important you may wonder? Well, I'm surprised by how much I didn't care that she'd hit me. All I could think of was that this poor little girl had such low self-image. She kept saying she was stupid, how could she be so dumb, she'd already been in an accident. "You have no idea how mad I am at myself." She said most convincingly. I reminded her that they are called accidents because no one does them on purpose. Again, "I'm so stupid." Yes, I told her she was not stupid and that blank moments in life happen to everyone. She just shook her head in disgust.
So how does this relate to a weight loss blog? Well, skinny mini, good looking, wrinkle free young girl, maybe 20, runs into chubby bubby, wrinkled but good looking 51 year old women. Which one of us do you think should be annoyed? Who should be carefree and loving life? Who should be thinking, yeah I hit a car, so what, look at my fabulous figure, my wrinkle free face and my thick hair. I'm young enough to work to pay it off. I look amazing, it's my parents insurance, good news for me? Yes her. Instead I'm all relaxed and care free, ignore my fear word, trying to comfort the young woman insulting herself. Puts things in perspective for me. When I was her age, I never appreciated how great I looked, didn't even have a clue actually. I had no idea what was going to happen to my great figure, ate what I wanted and didn't give a rats. Was life good, not really, I had no idea who I was. I thought I was happy, thought I knew so much, but if I'd have run into someone I'd have probably been saying and doing excatly what she was. Isn't that sad?
I don't know how many young women I have reading this blog. For that matter I don't know how many older woman I have reading this blog, okay I'll add middle aged women, no clue either. What I do know is that we all need to learn to appreciate our bodies, minds and spirits, where we are at this moment. There isn't an age where we know it all. Our bodies will always be changing, whether it's a self inflicted change or a gravitational shift. I think we women need to be rear ended mentally from time to time just to snap our heads back quick enough to wake us up. Mistakes don't make you stupid, they teach you. Wrinkle free faces are not a product of youth my friends, the reason we get the wrinkles is because of our youth. That girl didn't have wrinkles, but I can assure you that I was watching her work on getting them. In four or five more years she'll have made that frown permanent unless she quits beating herself up for doing things she deems as stupid. I hope I taught that young girl something, how to act when someone accidentally hits you. Whether it's with a car, words, looks or a hand. I chose how I see myself and no one decides for me.
I'm going to write that again so it goes deep, not just in you but in me. I chose how I see myself. I decide where my focus will be and what it will be on. I chose to love myself and embrace every aspect and every journey...even my rear ending. :)
My Prayer: "God help us to love ourselves like you do...without condition."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
+-
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Back to Normal
Let me clarify, some of you who know me well may be questioning my title. I'm not normal, I know this, however my weight has returned to 14 pounds lighter and I'm only in half as much pain now. Thank God. I also decided that I needed to become more aware of how I ate, how much I ate and how hungry I was. That Ms. Sneaky from yesterday's blog was getting powerful again and I made a decision to become very conscious of what I put in my mouth. So yesterday I ate a half of my lunch because I was satisfied with that, Gord had Chinese food leftovers for dinner, we were both happy. Thanks Tessa for the half you didn't eat...your dad was full. :)
Todays Question: "Do you ever feel like eating is something you do on another planet?"
I do. So often things are going in my mouth and I'm totally unaware. That is until I lay in my bed recalling all I ate during the day. Yes I do that. I call it the, "I only had this list." Silly I know but it helps me be real about what I'm eating. Going over that list in my head can either put a smile on my face or make me gringe. Thankfully as of late I smile more than I gringe. It has been a very long time since I can remember being so full I was in pain. I do not have a short memory when it comes to food so it's been 9 months to be exact. There are days when I'm disappointed with how slow this is going, I'm sure some of you wonder if I'll ever get there so I'll quit posting blogs. Sorry about that. No one expected this to be over with faster than I did. Obviously I was back on another planet when I thought that.
Overall I'm very happy with my progress. It is slow I realize but it is happening. I'm not overeating, I'm recognizing when Ms. Sneaky shows up. I'm exercising in new ways that I like and making myself move more. You have no idea how much time I can spend sitting, that change has been huge. I feel better in all my clothes and although I still struggle with those man are you fat thoughts every once in a while, I've learned to love myself and see my own beauty regardless of the flaws. It has been such a blessing to know that in some small way this process has helped you. Thank you for walking with me and for reading my ramblings. I seriously could not have gotten this far without your support.
My Prayer: "Lord bless each person who reads, follows, supports me with comments and encourages me to press on. I am so grateful. Help us all to find our way to healing the areas of our lives where victory is possible one day at a time."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Do you ever feel like eating is something you do on another planet?"
I do. So often things are going in my mouth and I'm totally unaware. That is until I lay in my bed recalling all I ate during the day. Yes I do that. I call it the, "I only had this list." Silly I know but it helps me be real about what I'm eating. Going over that list in my head can either put a smile on my face or make me gringe. Thankfully as of late I smile more than I gringe. It has been a very long time since I can remember being so full I was in pain. I do not have a short memory when it comes to food so it's been 9 months to be exact. There are days when I'm disappointed with how slow this is going, I'm sure some of you wonder if I'll ever get there so I'll quit posting blogs. Sorry about that. No one expected this to be over with faster than I did. Obviously I was back on another planet when I thought that.
Overall I'm very happy with my progress. It is slow I realize but it is happening. I'm not overeating, I'm recognizing when Ms. Sneaky shows up. I'm exercising in new ways that I like and making myself move more. You have no idea how much time I can spend sitting, that change has been huge. I feel better in all my clothes and although I still struggle with those man are you fat thoughts every once in a while, I've learned to love myself and see my own beauty regardless of the flaws. It has been such a blessing to know that in some small way this process has helped you. Thank you for walking with me and for reading my ramblings. I seriously could not have gotten this far without your support.
My Prayer: "Lord bless each person who reads, follows, supports me with comments and encourages me to press on. I am so grateful. Help us all to find our way to healing the areas of our lives where victory is possible one day at a time."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Pain Equals Gain
I'm seeing a pattern develop as I become more active, if I'm in pain it means I've gained. Thankfully by the next day the pain from more activity is less and so is the read on the scale. This morning I'm saying ouch with almost every move, last night it was ouch with every move. Being more active hurts. I'm up a pound but the good news is based on my pain level it should be more. I think I must have been out of shape.
Todays Question: "Is anyone laughing hysterically at that last comment?"
Ok, I was so far out of shape getting up from sitting hurt. Not much has changed, it still hurts when I get up from sitting. Turns out my hips and my inner thighs are not sure about my choice to ride horses bareback, it requires way more muscle involvement than we care for. I do feel better though, in spite of the pain, I'm noticing that I can do way more things before exhaustion sets in.
Another old friend seems to be finding it's way back into my life. Let's call her, Ms. Sneaky. She finds clever ways to sneak more food into my life. Just sample this, try that, oh and finish that you certainly cannot waste it. Does she sound like someone you have met? I think she is more diabolical than the sugar devil. Little by little you find yourself eating more, you don't really even know that it's happened and then one morning, for me this morning, you catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of your eye. She's fast my friends, you'll need a keen eye. You think you've seen her but she's pure pleasure so you act like you never noticed her. I say things like, "That is too much food, I only need half of that, you're not Miss Piggy. She says, "You are paying full price for that meal, eat it all and get your moneys worth, we love Miss Piggy. I see someone else eating something and I'm full, they offer and I say, "Don't need that, I'm good thanks." She says, "It's free food, what are you crazy?" She's is horrible. She invites herself to my house, Gord eats she says I should, why should the man eat alone? She comes to movies with us, "Whoa...no popcorn for me dear, I just ate a big meal." She says, "Gord does not to eat all that salt, he's suppose to watch his intake, you better help him help himself." The woman has me figured out, but...I've discovered something about her. She's a liar. She wants me to have what I want, hoping I'll forget what I need to feel better. She's not interested in the facts, she lives in a fairy tale land. That one I may have wished for from time to time. I call it; "The Land where you eat anything you want and stay wonderfully fit." I also call it, "The land where I own the best metabolism." What a dreamer.
So...wake up, smell the coffee, and for goodness sake don't drink it, that stuff is gross. I may have only spotted a glimpse of Ms. Sneaky, but I've seen her. She's been outed as they say and I'm watching her now. Seeing her before it's too late is a big change for me, I pray you find your little sneaker before she's sabatoges your successes.
Be blessed With a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Is anyone laughing hysterically at that last comment?"
Ok, I was so far out of shape getting up from sitting hurt. Not much has changed, it still hurts when I get up from sitting. Turns out my hips and my inner thighs are not sure about my choice to ride horses bareback, it requires way more muscle involvement than we care for. I do feel better though, in spite of the pain, I'm noticing that I can do way more things before exhaustion sets in.
Another old friend seems to be finding it's way back into my life. Let's call her, Ms. Sneaky. She finds clever ways to sneak more food into my life. Just sample this, try that, oh and finish that you certainly cannot waste it. Does she sound like someone you have met? I think she is more diabolical than the sugar devil. Little by little you find yourself eating more, you don't really even know that it's happened and then one morning, for me this morning, you catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of your eye. She's fast my friends, you'll need a keen eye. You think you've seen her but she's pure pleasure so you act like you never noticed her. I say things like, "That is too much food, I only need half of that, you're not Miss Piggy. She says, "You are paying full price for that meal, eat it all and get your moneys worth, we love Miss Piggy. I see someone else eating something and I'm full, they offer and I say, "Don't need that, I'm good thanks." She says, "It's free food, what are you crazy?" She's is horrible. She invites herself to my house, Gord eats she says I should, why should the man eat alone? She comes to movies with us, "Whoa...no popcorn for me dear, I just ate a big meal." She says, "Gord does not to eat all that salt, he's suppose to watch his intake, you better help him help himself." The woman has me figured out, but...I've discovered something about her. She's a liar. She wants me to have what I want, hoping I'll forget what I need to feel better. She's not interested in the facts, she lives in a fairy tale land. That one I may have wished for from time to time. I call it; "The Land where you eat anything you want and stay wonderfully fit." I also call it, "The land where I own the best metabolism." What a dreamer.
So...wake up, smell the coffee, and for goodness sake don't drink it, that stuff is gross. I may have only spotted a glimpse of Ms. Sneaky, but I've seen her. She's been outed as they say and I'm watching her now. Seeing her before it's too late is a big change for me, I pray you find your little sneaker before she's sabatoges your successes.
Be blessed With a Wonderful Day.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Regaining Confidence
These last couples days have been very significant for me in a way that I never thought would even be an issue in my life. For over 45 years I've been riding horses, for over 44 I've ridin with tons of confidence, no fear, mixed with a healthy respect for how powerful horses are and how dangerous forgeting that could be. I have trained most of my horses myself and never had any issues with any of them, less a few clitches during the training process. Turns out I've been very blessed with great horses and didn't realize how rare that could be.
Todays Question: "Have you ever had to regain confidence in an area where you thought you had all you needed?"
I now have, thanks to a beautiful black Morgan gelding named Electric. He was the first horse I bought that I didn't train. I'd say he'd be the last but my two new, trained horses, would prove that statement false. Electric was supposed to be a very well trained horse. I was told that he had thousands of dollars in training invested in him. Turns out someone lied to this sister. Buy hey, it can happen to anyone. For the first few months we got along great, he was a highly spirited horse but I was having fun...until. He decided to back up one day and I thought go ahead you silly horse, you'll run into the fence. Turns out he had other plans, he fell over. I hit the ground with a thump, ouch. Lost my glasses and when he rolled over the saddle stirrup left a nice hole in my ankle from the weight. My bruised tailbone did not stop me from getting back on that horse. Let's say I had, elevated anger issues at that moment. I rode him, then put him away. My husband was upset to say the least, I was riding by myself and it could have been so much worse. I would now be the person who rode Electric when people were around. Bad news, he kept getting worse and I now had something foreign to me when it came to riding horses...fear. He'd start to act up and I'd want off...quickly. Jumped off once and scared him, the scar on my ring finger, left hand, reminds me I should let go of the reins when I jump off. Years of western training taught me to hold on, don't want to be without a horse in the middle of nowhere.
I'm sure you get my point, that horse bred fear in me. Something that has destroyed my confidence in my ability to ride. Three days ago I stood with my new horse Grundy, for the second time with a chair beside him, thinking about riding. I'd sat on him bareback four days before, didn't go anywhere but liked how fast I could get off without the saddle. Quick escapes seem to be my new goal when it comes to horseback riding. Talk about planning my own demise. Two days ago I braved the bigger fenced field. Alone! Everything in me wanted to call Gord to lead me, he'd done that a week before and I was again scared...in that saddle. I stood beside my very patient horse for at least 15 minutes. Thinking about getting on, I got on with a bareback pad, got off quickly...didn't like that pad. Inhibited my ability to get off quickly, took it off. Then stood again on that chair deciding if I should get on. I seriously felt like I was going to throw up. So stressed. I prayed...I got on. I hugged Grundy, grateful he'd been so patient and trying to win his favor at the same time. Please love me enough not to kill me horsey. :)
Long story shorter. I didn't die on that short ride so yesterday I braved my Grundy a second time, bareback and much braver than the day before. We rode the open field, we trotted, I didn't die...we galloped...I loved it. My confidence is being restored...this amazing horse seems to sense my fear and is helping me to rebuild something I've always had. Isn't that odd? I will add that he also tries to test my fear, he occasionally ignores my commands to see if I'll be the chicken I was the day before and get off. He's not stupid, carrying me is work he'd rather avoid. Lucky for him I'm still down 14 pounds, if I'd have wrote yesterday I was back to 15 pounds down. All that exercise yesterday made me gain weight again. Or maybe it was the popcorn at Robin Hood...great movie that inspired me to ride.
My Prayer: "There are so many things we take for granted Lord. Once something is lost we see how truly valuable it was. Help us all to take nothing for granted and to put our confidence in You. The only place where a wonderful end result is guaranteed."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Have you ever had to regain confidence in an area where you thought you had all you needed?"
I now have, thanks to a beautiful black Morgan gelding named Electric. He was the first horse I bought that I didn't train. I'd say he'd be the last but my two new, trained horses, would prove that statement false. Electric was supposed to be a very well trained horse. I was told that he had thousands of dollars in training invested in him. Turns out someone lied to this sister. Buy hey, it can happen to anyone. For the first few months we got along great, he was a highly spirited horse but I was having fun...until. He decided to back up one day and I thought go ahead you silly horse, you'll run into the fence. Turns out he had other plans, he fell over. I hit the ground with a thump, ouch. Lost my glasses and when he rolled over the saddle stirrup left a nice hole in my ankle from the weight. My bruised tailbone did not stop me from getting back on that horse. Let's say I had, elevated anger issues at that moment. I rode him, then put him away. My husband was upset to say the least, I was riding by myself and it could have been so much worse. I would now be the person who rode Electric when people were around. Bad news, he kept getting worse and I now had something foreign to me when it came to riding horses...fear. He'd start to act up and I'd want off...quickly. Jumped off once and scared him, the scar on my ring finger, left hand, reminds me I should let go of the reins when I jump off. Years of western training taught me to hold on, don't want to be without a horse in the middle of nowhere.
I'm sure you get my point, that horse bred fear in me. Something that has destroyed my confidence in my ability to ride. Three days ago I stood with my new horse Grundy, for the second time with a chair beside him, thinking about riding. I'd sat on him bareback four days before, didn't go anywhere but liked how fast I could get off without the saddle. Quick escapes seem to be my new goal when it comes to horseback riding. Talk about planning my own demise. Two days ago I braved the bigger fenced field. Alone! Everything in me wanted to call Gord to lead me, he'd done that a week before and I was again scared...in that saddle. I stood beside my very patient horse for at least 15 minutes. Thinking about getting on, I got on with a bareback pad, got off quickly...didn't like that pad. Inhibited my ability to get off quickly, took it off. Then stood again on that chair deciding if I should get on. I seriously felt like I was going to throw up. So stressed. I prayed...I got on. I hugged Grundy, grateful he'd been so patient and trying to win his favor at the same time. Please love me enough not to kill me horsey. :)
Long story shorter. I didn't die on that short ride so yesterday I braved my Grundy a second time, bareback and much braver than the day before. We rode the open field, we trotted, I didn't die...we galloped...I loved it. My confidence is being restored...this amazing horse seems to sense my fear and is helping me to rebuild something I've always had. Isn't that odd? I will add that he also tries to test my fear, he occasionally ignores my commands to see if I'll be the chicken I was the day before and get off. He's not stupid, carrying me is work he'd rather avoid. Lucky for him I'm still down 14 pounds, if I'd have wrote yesterday I was back to 15 pounds down. All that exercise yesterday made me gain weight again. Or maybe it was the popcorn at Robin Hood...great movie that inspired me to ride.
My Prayer: "There are so many things we take for granted Lord. Once something is lost we see how truly valuable it was. Help us all to take nothing for granted and to put our confidence in You. The only place where a wonderful end result is guaranteed."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Friday, May 14, 2010
Self Motivation
I'm finally figuring out that I can motivate myself. I'm learning to get up when I don't feel like it and do something, other than sit in my chair and play mindless games or watch tv. Yesterday my hard working husband came home and instantly went to the farmhouse to work, he has no motivation problems. I sat in my comfy chair and was going to stay put for the night. Once bored with everything I normally find entertaining, I decided to go put the horses in, feed and brush them, instead of letting Gord do it. So up I made myself get and off I went. I ended up riding. What fun. Wednesday night in Calgary I was sat in our wonderful hotel room, all snuggled in and Gord was going to the hot tub and sauna. My lazy butt wanted to sit, but I made myself get up and go. More fun.
Todays Question: "Did you know that when you get up and do things it's more fun than sitting and doing nothing?"
I didn't. I've always thought less was more, especially when thinking about exercise in any form. I do realize going to the hot tub and sauna is not strenuous, but I did sweat and it takes effort to getting ready to go. Remember I was comfy and cozy on the bed.
I think the key to getting active for me is finding things I love to do. I do not like running on a treadmill to get nowhere, I can't stand riding a stationary bike, however I love riding a real one. A person may think it's not work to ride a horse, but if you've ever readied a horse to ride you know it is. And the muscles ache after the ride so something is getting a workout. I need to find more things I love doing that get me moving.
I'm happy to report that after two 3 hour car rides I'm still 14 pounds down. I guess the sauna and horse ride worked out the swelling. I'm also happy to report that I did not overeat. That is not an easy thing to do when the food is amazing and free. I have also discovered, as I pull out last years spring wardrobe, that some of my clothes are too big, others are fitting so much better. What a difference 14 pounds makes, not just in what I can wear but in how I feel.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to help ourselves, just another way of asking for more of this self motivation. Remind us all of how good it feels to overcome in the areas that have kept us bound for so long. Please continue to guide and strengthen us Lord as only you can."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Did you know that when you get up and do things it's more fun than sitting and doing nothing?"
I didn't. I've always thought less was more, especially when thinking about exercise in any form. I do realize going to the hot tub and sauna is not strenuous, but I did sweat and it takes effort to getting ready to go. Remember I was comfy and cozy on the bed.
I think the key to getting active for me is finding things I love to do. I do not like running on a treadmill to get nowhere, I can't stand riding a stationary bike, however I love riding a real one. A person may think it's not work to ride a horse, but if you've ever readied a horse to ride you know it is. And the muscles ache after the ride so something is getting a workout. I need to find more things I love doing that get me moving.
I'm happy to report that after two 3 hour car rides I'm still 14 pounds down. I guess the sauna and horse ride worked out the swelling. I'm also happy to report that I did not overeat. That is not an easy thing to do when the food is amazing and free. I have also discovered, as I pull out last years spring wardrobe, that some of my clothes are too big, others are fitting so much better. What a difference 14 pounds makes, not just in what I can wear but in how I feel.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to help ourselves, just another way of asking for more of this self motivation. Remind us all of how good it feels to overcome in the areas that have kept us bound for so long. Please continue to guide and strengthen us Lord as only you can."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Eating My Words
I'm happy to say that words have zero calories. Painfully aware however, that they do have huge impact. So to my dear Christian, so sorry, you are right to have given me back my own words. I do control my eating, entirely and I have no excuses. In the future I will state that I surrendered my control.
Todays Question: "Do you ever say things thinking no ones paying attention only to find out that people are?"
Obviously I do. I am so blessed to know that the people who read my blog are genuinely interested in how I am. Thanks Lucie for your call to encourage me to press on, thanks Christian for your loving reminder. Thanks to everyone who reads the ramblings of an often crazed woman who from time to time seems to slip into the abyss. I praise God for the light to find my way out of those little black holes.
I am learning that how long I stay in the valley depends on me. After a very long day of counseling yesterday I came home refreshed. That does not always happen. I started the day as a blank sheet, I ended the day reminded of the hope I have and the blessings that abound in my life. Sometimes I lose sight of how truly blessed I am, sometimes I forget how much God loves and cares about every detail of my life. When I counsel others and remind them of His concern and love for them, I in turn get reminders myself. I'm learning that the wonderful thing about giving to others is that God always gives you something in return. I am also learning that reminders are great gifts.
I controlled myself yesterday in so many ways. I didn't dive into food, I resisted the urge. I put an end to my pity party and remembered that although I miss my sons hugs on Mother's Day, I have a wealth of life lessons and insights from him that will carry me until I see him again. My children plan to be with me on Mother's Day and give to me in so many ways it's remarkable. They want a relationship with me and bless me beyond measure with their kindness and love. I challenge you to tell me a better gift, to a parent, than having grown children who want to be around you on a regular basis.
So...
My Prayer: "Jesus thank you for covering me. Thank you for being the filter God sees me through. When God looks at us He looks through You first and we all look so good to God through your eyes. We are all blessed and loved without condition. Please forgive me and those who like me sometimes forget how remarkable Your love is."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Do you ever say things thinking no ones paying attention only to find out that people are?"
Obviously I do. I am so blessed to know that the people who read my blog are genuinely interested in how I am. Thanks Lucie for your call to encourage me to press on, thanks Christian for your loving reminder. Thanks to everyone who reads the ramblings of an often crazed woman who from time to time seems to slip into the abyss. I praise God for the light to find my way out of those little black holes.
I am learning that how long I stay in the valley depends on me. After a very long day of counseling yesterday I came home refreshed. That does not always happen. I started the day as a blank sheet, I ended the day reminded of the hope I have and the blessings that abound in my life. Sometimes I lose sight of how truly blessed I am, sometimes I forget how much God loves and cares about every detail of my life. When I counsel others and remind them of His concern and love for them, I in turn get reminders myself. I'm learning that the wonderful thing about giving to others is that God always gives you something in return. I am also learning that reminders are great gifts.
I controlled myself yesterday in so many ways. I didn't dive into food, I resisted the urge. I put an end to my pity party and remembered that although I miss my sons hugs on Mother's Day, I have a wealth of life lessons and insights from him that will carry me until I see him again. My children plan to be with me on Mother's Day and give to me in so many ways it's remarkable. They want a relationship with me and bless me beyond measure with their kindness and love. I challenge you to tell me a better gift, to a parent, than having grown children who want to be around you on a regular basis.
So...
My Prayer: "Jesus thank you for covering me. Thank you for being the filter God sees me through. When God looks at us He looks through You first and we all look so good to God through your eyes. We are all blessed and loved without condition. Please forgive me and those who like me sometimes forget how remarkable Your love is."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Irritants and Frustrations
It's confession time and the title of today's blog is also the reason that I didn't blog yesterday and wasn't going to blog today. I knew that if I missed again today a pattern would be established and I'd be on my way to stopping this train and getting off. So I'm making myself write when I don't feel like it. It's been a frustrating couple of days, horse issues, head issues, and heart issues. Once again the words my Tessa taught our Zayin ring in my head. "Grandma has issues."
Todays Question: "Why does food always become my source of comfort when things seem to be running a muck?"
Last night I ate BBQ potatoe chips before I went to bed. We all know what a wise choice that is. Mother's Day started a feeding frenzy for me, no way I was not going to have whatever I wanted on that day. So I stepped on the scale Monday and was up a pound, not so bad when you consider all I ate, the sugar and the white flour mixed well and tasted great. I threw my one sugar treat on Sunday out the window, also ignored that I'd already had my Sunday treat on Friday. Oops, I think I had another Sunday treat on Saturday as well. And yesterday, I had my Sunday treat on Monday, at this rate I'll have eaten half a year of Sunday treats in no time. Such control. You'd think my need to control things would spill over into my eating habits...let's just say I have NO control issues when it comes to food.
This morning, after a better day in spite of the chips, I'm up another pound. Due in large part to the mass amount of food consumed and sugar treats over the weekend. Add sitting for hours, salty snacks and way too many carb choices and I'm surprised it's not worse than it is.
So how do I find a better way to deal with irritants and frustrations. How do I stop myself from falling into the usual pattern of eating away my sorrows? I hope you don't expect me to know the answer to that question because I'm clueless. I'm going to take one day at a time because it's frankly all I can manage right now. Everything seems to be bugging me. Common denominator...me. One of songs from The Sound of Music is ringing in my head; "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" Insert my name and sing away. (You may want to sing Jenny Lee...ah...just to make it flow.) :)
My Prayer: "Lord help me please to stop making the same mistakes whenever things don't go my way. Help me to grow up, suck it up and deal with it. And help us all to look to you and to trust that no matter how things go you are in control and will work it out for our good."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Why does food always become my source of comfort when things seem to be running a muck?"
Last night I ate BBQ potatoe chips before I went to bed. We all know what a wise choice that is. Mother's Day started a feeding frenzy for me, no way I was not going to have whatever I wanted on that day. So I stepped on the scale Monday and was up a pound, not so bad when you consider all I ate, the sugar and the white flour mixed well and tasted great. I threw my one sugar treat on Sunday out the window, also ignored that I'd already had my Sunday treat on Friday. Oops, I think I had another Sunday treat on Saturday as well. And yesterday, I had my Sunday treat on Monday, at this rate I'll have eaten half a year of Sunday treats in no time. Such control. You'd think my need to control things would spill over into my eating habits...let's just say I have NO control issues when it comes to food.
This morning, after a better day in spite of the chips, I'm up another pound. Due in large part to the mass amount of food consumed and sugar treats over the weekend. Add sitting for hours, salty snacks and way too many carb choices and I'm surprised it's not worse than it is.
So how do I find a better way to deal with irritants and frustrations. How do I stop myself from falling into the usual pattern of eating away my sorrows? I hope you don't expect me to know the answer to that question because I'm clueless. I'm going to take one day at a time because it's frankly all I can manage right now. Everything seems to be bugging me. Common denominator...me. One of songs from The Sound of Music is ringing in my head; "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" Insert my name and sing away. (You may want to sing Jenny Lee...ah...just to make it flow.) :)
My Prayer: "Lord help me please to stop making the same mistakes whenever things don't go my way. Help me to grow up, suck it up and deal with it. And help us all to look to you and to trust that no matter how things go you are in control and will work it out for our good."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Having it All.
I feel so blessed today to be called a mother but even more blessed to have children to call me by that name. I could never wax eleoquent enough to express my deep heartfelt gratitude to God for granting me the desires of my heart. For as long as I can remember I wanted children, I had a specific plan in place, grow up, get married and have kids. That was it. I never went beyond that, I just knew in the deepest most certain part of all that I was at a very early age, that children would be the best gift I'd ever get. I can assure you that I was indeed right. Only Jesus has done more for me than my children, and my husband...well depending on the day he's ahead of the kids, no wait a rung down, honestly on par.
Todays Question: "Did you ever think that your children would love you so much in spite of all the mistakes you made raising them?"
I never. I'm still so surprised by how much my kids love me. Still so blessed that they want to be in my company and still in awe of that unconditional love that a child has for a parent, regardless of whether they deserve it or not. I have seen and counseled some of the worst mothers and in spite of their weaknesses their children are still waiting for them to do the right thing and still willing to forgive them...if they'd just be sorry. The amazing part, they profess their love for that parent with or without the apology. Remarkable!
No matter how many mistakes I made with my kids they always forgave me. In spite of my failings and selfish wants, they tolerated me. No matter how many times I hurt them they continued to love me, and they were able to take the worst of me and become these remarkable people in spite of me. My children have seen me at my worst and inspired me to get better. They have been my greatest teachers and have made me a better human being because of their unconditional love for me. Children really do reflect God...so wonderfully.
I appreciate Mother's Day and there was a time when it was all about me. Give to me, appreciate me, show me how much you appreciate all I do for you and for goodness sake notice all the sacrifices I made and make for you. Thankfully I've grown out of that. I appreciate all that mother's do, always have, but...nothing I've ever done for my children has ever filled my heart the way one look at them sleeping in their beds has. No sacrifice I've made has ever brought me tears as quickly as a mere thought of them when they are away from me can. Flowers, chocolates, spa days, gifts, whatever, all nice and appreciated, but being a mother is a gift, having children is a priveledge. I received three gifts and they will remain my greatest treasures from here to eternity my friends. Children are truly a blessing from the Lord.
I couldn't be anything but happy on Mother's Day...I truly have it all.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to treasure our children."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Did you ever think that your children would love you so much in spite of all the mistakes you made raising them?"
I never. I'm still so surprised by how much my kids love me. Still so blessed that they want to be in my company and still in awe of that unconditional love that a child has for a parent, regardless of whether they deserve it or not. I have seen and counseled some of the worst mothers and in spite of their weaknesses their children are still waiting for them to do the right thing and still willing to forgive them...if they'd just be sorry. The amazing part, they profess their love for that parent with or without the apology. Remarkable!
No matter how many mistakes I made with my kids they always forgave me. In spite of my failings and selfish wants, they tolerated me. No matter how many times I hurt them they continued to love me, and they were able to take the worst of me and become these remarkable people in spite of me. My children have seen me at my worst and inspired me to get better. They have been my greatest teachers and have made me a better human being because of their unconditional love for me. Children really do reflect God...so wonderfully.
I appreciate Mother's Day and there was a time when it was all about me. Give to me, appreciate me, show me how much you appreciate all I do for you and for goodness sake notice all the sacrifices I made and make for you. Thankfully I've grown out of that. I appreciate all that mother's do, always have, but...nothing I've ever done for my children has ever filled my heart the way one look at them sleeping in their beds has. No sacrifice I've made has ever brought me tears as quickly as a mere thought of them when they are away from me can. Flowers, chocolates, spa days, gifts, whatever, all nice and appreciated, but being a mother is a gift, having children is a priveledge. I received three gifts and they will remain my greatest treasures from here to eternity my friends. Children are truly a blessing from the Lord.
I couldn't be anything but happy on Mother's Day...I truly have it all.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to treasure our children."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
For Sale Sign
There is a For Sale sign on my front lawn and I have to tell you I was slightly annoyed by that. Ok, it bugged me alot. I wanted to take it down and put up a "You've Got the Wrong House!!!", sign. It would appear that I'm still not ready to let go of this house. We had someone come and look at the house yesterday, the ad only went in yesterday and Tessa will confirm that his pushing to see the house right away, really made me angry. Sorry about that honey, it's like Zayin says, Grandma has issues. Yes my friends my daughter taught her 18 month old to say that. It is rather cute and obviously true.
Todays Question: "Am I that person who wants two things, the one everyone says can't have it both ways?"
It would appear so. I have asked Gord if I could keep both houses, he just smiles, not sure what that means. I'm guessing he is wishing Grandma would get over her issues. However, he's not having an easy time either. It's hard to sell a house you still love, add to that so many wonderful memories and it's like parting with a dear friend who never did anything wrong but you know you have to let them go. I guess that means I know I have to do this, just let the record state I may go down kicking and screaming. Or sobbing and gasping for air, whichever comes first.
I do seem to want two things, it's a problem I struggle with way too often. I want to be slim, I want to eat. I want to move, I want to stay. I want to grow, I want things to remain the same. I want to mature, I don't wan't to grow up. I want more and I want less. Oh God please help, but oh God don't expect me to help myself. I seem to have found the problem, I have become that person in the bible who speaks out of both sides of her face. Not good.
So now what? I surrender, waving the white flag, giving up, not fighting anymore, letting it go, surrendering.
My Prayer: "When my emotions are mixed I'm so glad you see clearly what is best for me, I'm so glad you know what is best for all of us. I ask for your help to let this home go, I ask that you help us all to release those things that keep us from the wonderful plans you have for us. I find surrender difficult but I know when it is something you require...resistance truly is futile. Your plans will be established and I am truly grateful for that. Help us all to trust in the things we cannot see knowing that we serve a God who sees and knows all.
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Am I that person who wants two things, the one everyone says can't have it both ways?"
It would appear so. I have asked Gord if I could keep both houses, he just smiles, not sure what that means. I'm guessing he is wishing Grandma would get over her issues. However, he's not having an easy time either. It's hard to sell a house you still love, add to that so many wonderful memories and it's like parting with a dear friend who never did anything wrong but you know you have to let them go. I guess that means I know I have to do this, just let the record state I may go down kicking and screaming. Or sobbing and gasping for air, whichever comes first.
I do seem to want two things, it's a problem I struggle with way too often. I want to be slim, I want to eat. I want to move, I want to stay. I want to grow, I want things to remain the same. I want to mature, I don't wan't to grow up. I want more and I want less. Oh God please help, but oh God don't expect me to help myself. I seem to have found the problem, I have become that person in the bible who speaks out of both sides of her face. Not good.
So now what? I surrender, waving the white flag, giving up, not fighting anymore, letting it go, surrendering.
My Prayer: "When my emotions are mixed I'm so glad you see clearly what is best for me, I'm so glad you know what is best for all of us. I ask for your help to let this home go, I ask that you help us all to release those things that keep us from the wonderful plans you have for us. I find surrender difficult but I know when it is something you require...resistance truly is futile. Your plans will be established and I am truly grateful for that. Help us all to trust in the things we cannot see knowing that we serve a God who sees and knows all.
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Fun Job
So yesterday Gord gave me permission to pick apart his work. He's been doing the repairs on the mudding, taping and painting he did upstairs. I usually point out the things he missed, I'm picky like that in case some of you didn't know. However, this time he asked me to come upstairs and show him everything I could find that needed repair. And the best part, he promised not to get mad. Wow! That was fun.
Todays Question: "What does it say about a person when they like to highlight the flaws in someone's work?"
I'm not sure. I find myself wondering how often I do that. I'd like to tell you it's rare people...very rare. But...oh I hate buts, it's unfortunately one of those things I do on a very regular basis. You should know I have learned to keep my mouth shut, most of the time. And you should also know that I highlight the good as well. Upon reflection I've noticed that I notice everything, about everyone. I'm the person who always notices you've colored, cut or changed your hair. I'm the one who sees everything you hope I don't see in your house. I will spot a piece of lint, hair, stain, hole or tear on anything you wear. And for goodness sake if the hole is under the arm I'll be the person who notices you not lifting your arm intentionally so your secret is not discovered. I'll notice the weight you gain and I'll notice the weight you've lost quickly. I'll notice when your mood has shifted, I'll hear when you are not paying attention to what I'm saying, and when you've lost interest. I'm the person who notices almost everything, every change, good or bad. It's a wonder I have any friends. :)
I would appear to be quite picky as well. Todays second question; "Is there any hope for me?" I know the answer, there is. In spite of my noticing everything I have a second gift, let's just call it a gift for my sake ok, I'm careful. I'm careful not to hurt peoples feelings, I'm careful to highlight all the good I see in others, whether I know them or not, I keep my tounge unless I know that it's something I have to share or would want someone to point out for me. For example Lucie, if your friend has a piece of black pepper or something they ate stuck in their teeth, you should point it out. In her defense she said she didn't notice while I talked to that good looking waiter, whatever. I have learned to embrace my observant nature and most importantly, to use it for good. I'm very well aware of my imperfections because my gift for observing is not wasted on me. I notice every new wrinkle, every gray hair and every change in my body. Yikes! If nothing else I am fair.
My point. It is good to pay attention, it is even better to add to that attention detail. I do notice things and that is good, unless I only comment on what is wrong. If I never told Gord how amazing I think it is that he has done the majority of the rennos so well and I'm so amazed at his abilities, I'd be a jerk. No nice word, sorry. If I never told my friends I love their hair, their eyes, their choice of clothes, I'd be a loser. If encouragement wasn't something I paid attention to as well I'd have nothing to balance my observance with. So this morning ask yourself, what do you do when you notice something wrong? How do you respond. You see my friends it's taken me a long time to learn that being observant is okay as long as I remember that being encouraging regardless of what I see is vital.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to realize that we get more with honey than we ever will with vinegar. Your word is so true, we need to be encouraging to one another especially in these very trying times. Help us to live our lives remembering to...."Speak the truth in love." A verse that will literally change not just our lives but the lives of those around us."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "What does it say about a person when they like to highlight the flaws in someone's work?"
I'm not sure. I find myself wondering how often I do that. I'd like to tell you it's rare people...very rare. But...oh I hate buts, it's unfortunately one of those things I do on a very regular basis. You should know I have learned to keep my mouth shut, most of the time. And you should also know that I highlight the good as well. Upon reflection I've noticed that I notice everything, about everyone. I'm the person who always notices you've colored, cut or changed your hair. I'm the one who sees everything you hope I don't see in your house. I will spot a piece of lint, hair, stain, hole or tear on anything you wear. And for goodness sake if the hole is under the arm I'll be the person who notices you not lifting your arm intentionally so your secret is not discovered. I'll notice the weight you gain and I'll notice the weight you've lost quickly. I'll notice when your mood has shifted, I'll hear when you are not paying attention to what I'm saying, and when you've lost interest. I'm the person who notices almost everything, every change, good or bad. It's a wonder I have any friends. :)
I would appear to be quite picky as well. Todays second question; "Is there any hope for me?" I know the answer, there is. In spite of my noticing everything I have a second gift, let's just call it a gift for my sake ok, I'm careful. I'm careful not to hurt peoples feelings, I'm careful to highlight all the good I see in others, whether I know them or not, I keep my tounge unless I know that it's something I have to share or would want someone to point out for me. For example Lucie, if your friend has a piece of black pepper or something they ate stuck in their teeth, you should point it out. In her defense she said she didn't notice while I talked to that good looking waiter, whatever. I have learned to embrace my observant nature and most importantly, to use it for good. I'm very well aware of my imperfections because my gift for observing is not wasted on me. I notice every new wrinkle, every gray hair and every change in my body. Yikes! If nothing else I am fair.
My point. It is good to pay attention, it is even better to add to that attention detail. I do notice things and that is good, unless I only comment on what is wrong. If I never told Gord how amazing I think it is that he has done the majority of the rennos so well and I'm so amazed at his abilities, I'd be a jerk. No nice word, sorry. If I never told my friends I love their hair, their eyes, their choice of clothes, I'd be a loser. If encouragement wasn't something I paid attention to as well I'd have nothing to balance my observance with. So this morning ask yourself, what do you do when you notice something wrong? How do you respond. You see my friends it's taken me a long time to learn that being observant is okay as long as I remember that being encouraging regardless of what I see is vital.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to realize that we get more with honey than we ever will with vinegar. Your word is so true, we need to be encouraging to one another especially in these very trying times. Help us to live our lives remembering to...."Speak the truth in love." A verse that will literally change not just our lives but the lives of those around us."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The Problem with Comfort
Seems silly to think that being comfortable is problematic, at least to me. I readied myself to write this morning in my bed, I do most of my blogging there. I prop up my pillows, lean against my big headboard and pull the blankets up to stay toasty warm. I keep my house at a cool 64F when I sleep, and since I'm a slightly temperature crazy, sometimes menopausal women, I'm either freezing or boiling. I usually kick my feet out of the covers after 5 minutes. This morning I was so pleased at how comfortable I felt after the proper proping. But now after 10 minutes my neck is straining, my back is aching and I'm no longer comfortable. I just slid up 6 inches and now I'm comfortable again.
Todays Question: "Have you ever noticed that being comfortable is a temporary state the majority of the time?"
I have. I'm comfortable at bed time snuggled up to Gord, he's so warm and I love laying on his shoulder with his arm around me....until....I get too hot and dash to my own cooler side of the bed. I love sitting in my favorite chair after a long day, so comfy, until I've sat in it in one position for too long and then I have to move, or get up and do something so I can come back and be comfy again. I find the beginning of a meal the most comfortable and enjoyable thing, everything tastes so good when you just begin. After the hunger has past the foods not quite as good as it used to be and if I continue to eat I feel very uncomfortable in my jeans, well in my body for that matter. Overeating is not comfortable. Even too many compliments can make you feel uncomfortable.
There isn't an office sign or a bumper sticker that reads, "Too much comfort is uncomfortable." I think there should be. The truth is that nothing that comforts has any lasting ability, except God, but let me tell you even a relationship with Him can make you feel uncomfortable at times. The fault always sit with me in that case, my discomfort with God has to do with my comfortable choices. I forget how temporary the comforts of this world are. I forget the short term results this worlds comforting tools have, yes that includes people. No matter how much I love someone, too much time with them becomes uncomfortable, I need time away from them to appreciate them. Otherwise my selfish nature gets rude and grumpy. I have to have time alone. I need to reflect and from any position reflection comforts, I can't change the things I'm uncomfortable with...without it. I have to look in to find comfort, I have to look where God dwells, in me. Reflection can cause discomfort but in the end it yields a comfort that is lasting. It brings a harvest of change, in position, in thinking, in action and in how you find comfort in the things of this world that are not comfortable.
I beleive you can find comfort in any situation, no matter how difficult it is, but it does not always last. I beleive that if you look in, reflect on truth, you will find peace. Peace is lasting and is not based on feeling comfortable. The problem with comfort is it's feeling based and temporary. The amazing thing about peace is it's lasting. Storms swirl around you and they are not comfortable, peace is underlying, below the surface and unexplainable, but wonderfully present in spite of the circumstances. Peace truly surpasses understanding.
My Prayer: "Lord we seek to be comfortable when we should be asking for peace. We want cushions when we need rocks. We want food when we need to be hungry. We want life to be easy when we know that the natural progression of life is death. Help us to want peace over comfort, and thank you for making comfort a short term state, lest we never rise from our beds to live."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Have you ever noticed that being comfortable is a temporary state the majority of the time?"
I have. I'm comfortable at bed time snuggled up to Gord, he's so warm and I love laying on his shoulder with his arm around me....until....I get too hot and dash to my own cooler side of the bed. I love sitting in my favorite chair after a long day, so comfy, until I've sat in it in one position for too long and then I have to move, or get up and do something so I can come back and be comfy again. I find the beginning of a meal the most comfortable and enjoyable thing, everything tastes so good when you just begin. After the hunger has past the foods not quite as good as it used to be and if I continue to eat I feel very uncomfortable in my jeans, well in my body for that matter. Overeating is not comfortable. Even too many compliments can make you feel uncomfortable.
There isn't an office sign or a bumper sticker that reads, "Too much comfort is uncomfortable." I think there should be. The truth is that nothing that comforts has any lasting ability, except God, but let me tell you even a relationship with Him can make you feel uncomfortable at times. The fault always sit with me in that case, my discomfort with God has to do with my comfortable choices. I forget how temporary the comforts of this world are. I forget the short term results this worlds comforting tools have, yes that includes people. No matter how much I love someone, too much time with them becomes uncomfortable, I need time away from them to appreciate them. Otherwise my selfish nature gets rude and grumpy. I have to have time alone. I need to reflect and from any position reflection comforts, I can't change the things I'm uncomfortable with...without it. I have to look in to find comfort, I have to look where God dwells, in me. Reflection can cause discomfort but in the end it yields a comfort that is lasting. It brings a harvest of change, in position, in thinking, in action and in how you find comfort in the things of this world that are not comfortable.
I beleive you can find comfort in any situation, no matter how difficult it is, but it does not always last. I beleive that if you look in, reflect on truth, you will find peace. Peace is lasting and is not based on feeling comfortable. The problem with comfort is it's feeling based and temporary. The amazing thing about peace is it's lasting. Storms swirl around you and they are not comfortable, peace is underlying, below the surface and unexplainable, but wonderfully present in spite of the circumstances. Peace truly surpasses understanding.
My Prayer: "Lord we seek to be comfortable when we should be asking for peace. We want cushions when we need rocks. We want food when we need to be hungry. We want life to be easy when we know that the natural progression of life is death. Help us to want peace over comfort, and thank you for making comfort a short term state, lest we never rise from our beds to live."
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day
Monday, May 3, 2010
Paying The Price
Yesterday was sugar day for me, it's the one day a week I allow myself to have one sugar treat. My choice, a banana split from the Dairy Queen. Normally it's a large dipped cone. However, the day before yesterday I decided I'd have a small cup of icecream from that same DQ, and then on Sunday, I'd have another small cup to make my quota. That plan flew out the window faster than a trapped bird. Not only did I have a banana split but when I saw the package of Rolos in the fridge, I was having popcorn for a snack, I knew I was in for trouble. Please note I did not buy those Rolos, my wonderful husband did. He thought we could share them when we had our popcorn. Normally I'd have said, "Why one pack?" But since I wasn't supposed to have any more sugar treats I said, "Great idea honey." Oh the price I'm paying this morning.
Todays Question: "Do you ever suffer from the seems like a good idea at the time, disorder?"
I think I have that condition on a weekly basis. Not only did I get a sugar headache from the treats, but I also have very sore muscles today. I weighed and it's a pound of icecream, popcorn, a half a pack of rolos, and did I mention the Teen burger and Onion rings from the A&W we had for lunch. I only had shrimp for supper, I'm not totally out of control people. So, what's the good news?
This is the first weekend in at least 3 weeks that I've had a not so good day. I won't call it bad because I assure you, as bad as that sounds, I've had and done way worse. I never really surrendered to a feeding frenzy. It was more like, I really just want some treats. Not 100 just a few. So I did it, it's over and today is another day. Not going to beat myself up, I'm not mad because I gained a pound. I did get lots of exercise yesterday, more than I really wanted actually. This weekend we moved a bunch of stuff to declutter and ready our current home for sale.
And now for the heart of the matter, or should I say the emotions. I'm fairly confident that I ate those extras this weekend to comfort myself. Ok I'm 100% sure that's why I ate them. I had the first icecream after the first loads were delivered to the other house. I had the second icecream, A&W, Rolos and popcorn after the second loads were delivered. Oh dear. Once again this emotional eater is comforting herself with food. I'm speaking in the third person because I don't want to acknowledge what I'm saying. It helps. Denial isn't always bad...is it?
I have to confess that prior to the "treat...ing" of my emotions, I knew it was coming. I could feel it. I brushed it off. I should have felt it, thought it through and made better choices. When I compromised the first time, I knew I do it again. I am happy that I'm becoming aware of my emotional eatings habits before hand, and for the most part I do not give in to them. It is a small voice, no yelling and way too easy to ignore, but I'm hearing it. And I really don't want to miss the significance of that voice. It is the key to facing all the things we find in our hearts. The feelings we want to ignore but those feelings we'd be better off to embrace, with or without tears.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to face our fears, embrace our tears and trust that you will carry us through any changes that come our way. Teach us to trust in your leading and to listen to that still small voice that speaks the truths we don't always want to hear."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Do you ever suffer from the seems like a good idea at the time, disorder?"
I think I have that condition on a weekly basis. Not only did I get a sugar headache from the treats, but I also have very sore muscles today. I weighed and it's a pound of icecream, popcorn, a half a pack of rolos, and did I mention the Teen burger and Onion rings from the A&W we had for lunch. I only had shrimp for supper, I'm not totally out of control people. So, what's the good news?
This is the first weekend in at least 3 weeks that I've had a not so good day. I won't call it bad because I assure you, as bad as that sounds, I've had and done way worse. I never really surrendered to a feeding frenzy. It was more like, I really just want some treats. Not 100 just a few. So I did it, it's over and today is another day. Not going to beat myself up, I'm not mad because I gained a pound. I did get lots of exercise yesterday, more than I really wanted actually. This weekend we moved a bunch of stuff to declutter and ready our current home for sale.
And now for the heart of the matter, or should I say the emotions. I'm fairly confident that I ate those extras this weekend to comfort myself. Ok I'm 100% sure that's why I ate them. I had the first icecream after the first loads were delivered to the other house. I had the second icecream, A&W, Rolos and popcorn after the second loads were delivered. Oh dear. Once again this emotional eater is comforting herself with food. I'm speaking in the third person because I don't want to acknowledge what I'm saying. It helps. Denial isn't always bad...is it?
I have to confess that prior to the "treat...ing" of my emotions, I knew it was coming. I could feel it. I brushed it off. I should have felt it, thought it through and made better choices. When I compromised the first time, I knew I do it again. I am happy that I'm becoming aware of my emotional eatings habits before hand, and for the most part I do not give in to them. It is a small voice, no yelling and way too easy to ignore, but I'm hearing it. And I really don't want to miss the significance of that voice. It is the key to facing all the things we find in our hearts. The feelings we want to ignore but those feelings we'd be better off to embrace, with or without tears.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to face our fears, embrace our tears and trust that you will carry us through any changes that come our way. Teach us to trust in your leading and to listen to that still small voice that speaks the truths we don't always want to hear."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Strange Noise
So this morning while I was playing on my laptop in bed I hear a noise, like a cooing weird animal noise that seemed to be coming from the end of my bed. I did what any brave women would do, I called my husband. He said; "You're hearing an animal noise?" I note that because I didn't like the undertone in his voice that implied I'd lost my mind. I assured him I wasn't crazy, and then right on cue, the noise. He said; "It's coming from your computer." I tried to muster up some confidence to tell him he'd lost his mind, but perhaps the sound wasn't completely off on my serious Farmville game. Ha! He did say right from the start it sounded like a pigeon or a dove, humm...interesting. Every now and then Gord gets to be right...remarkable. I'm just grateful nothing was under my bed.
Todays Question: "Did you know that the sound from a laptop travels out and sounds like it's at the end of the bed?"
I didn't. However, when he picked up my big quilt at the end of the bed I was ready to run like a chicken, we were looking for a dove or a pigeon remember. Isn't that a great way to start the day. Rescued by a big strong man first thing in the morning, please note he'd already made me breakfast in bed. No wonder I love him sooooo much.
So now that I'm calm enough to write, I've been fed, and I've been saved from pending pigeon/dove doom, all I want to do is reflect. Not on weight my freinds, it remains at fifteen pounds down and I'm back to working hard again, two horses to take care of now. Please note my shoulders and arms are a bit sore form a 45 min mud brushing my Grundy needed, I think he's thinks the dirty parts of the field are spas that have been carefully designed for his rolling pleasure. Ooops sidetracked, what am I reflecting on?
God, what else. ;) After Gord's willingness to come up the stairs to rescue me I started to wonder how many things God has rescued me from that I'm unaware off. I'm aware of several occasions, like the time I was mere feet from driving off a cliff when I was young, I was busy trying to find an 8 track for my stereo, looked up just in time to swerve away from the drop of doom. Had to stop my car and regroup after that one. No comments about the 8 track please. This morning I want to thank God for all the things He does for me, for us, that we can't see. For all the times we've been delivered from things we didn't even know about. For protection that we get before we need it and for the ability to see that He has gone ahead of us when the way we are walking in has obviously been so well prepared. I'm grateful. So grateful.
My Prayer: "Lord thank you, for the things you do for us that we don't know about, for times you make our way so much easier because of your preparation. Even when the day seems dark and our hope is fading, thank you for your amazing provision. I love you with all of my heart, mind soul and strength and I'm so glad you love us all so much."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Did you know that the sound from a laptop travels out and sounds like it's at the end of the bed?"
I didn't. However, when he picked up my big quilt at the end of the bed I was ready to run like a chicken, we were looking for a dove or a pigeon remember. Isn't that a great way to start the day. Rescued by a big strong man first thing in the morning, please note he'd already made me breakfast in bed. No wonder I love him sooooo much.
So now that I'm calm enough to write, I've been fed, and I've been saved from pending pigeon/dove doom, all I want to do is reflect. Not on weight my freinds, it remains at fifteen pounds down and I'm back to working hard again, two horses to take care of now. Please note my shoulders and arms are a bit sore form a 45 min mud brushing my Grundy needed, I think he's thinks the dirty parts of the field are spas that have been carefully designed for his rolling pleasure. Ooops sidetracked, what am I reflecting on?
God, what else. ;) After Gord's willingness to come up the stairs to rescue me I started to wonder how many things God has rescued me from that I'm unaware off. I'm aware of several occasions, like the time I was mere feet from driving off a cliff when I was young, I was busy trying to find an 8 track for my stereo, looked up just in time to swerve away from the drop of doom. Had to stop my car and regroup after that one. No comments about the 8 track please. This morning I want to thank God for all the things He does for me, for us, that we can't see. For all the times we've been delivered from things we didn't even know about. For protection that we get before we need it and for the ability to see that He has gone ahead of us when the way we are walking in has obviously been so well prepared. I'm grateful. So grateful.
My Prayer: "Lord thank you, for the things you do for us that we don't know about, for times you make our way so much easier because of your preparation. Even when the day seems dark and our hope is fading, thank you for your amazing provision. I love you with all of my heart, mind soul and strength and I'm so glad you love us all so much."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
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