Since I seem to be struggling to write these days...have not done so for 2 days, and before that I was missing days as well, I'm wondering what you think.
Todays Question: "Should I write daily or three or four times a week?"
Don't want to bore you to tears with my constant babble, but have to agree with my good friend Christan when she says she likes when I write about things other than my weight, or what I'm eating. Not saying I won't write about that it is a weight loss journal, however, I do feel like I would write everyday if I could write about life in general, things I see others struggle with and struggles I have myself on a daily basis. That never gets boring. :)
I need the accountability of weighing everyday, like posting my little side bar comments, so I could do that daily and I'd still take a current picture to update from time to time to display my progress. Don't worry at this rate you won't be seeing too many pictures, although I will say that I saw a video of myself the other day from last summer and 17 pounds does make a big difference, hello fatty face.
I really have discovered over this past year that my struggle is with my mind, not eating as much has become so much easier and pigging out to the point of horrible discomfort is no longer something I do. PRAISE THE LORD!!! I seem to have discovered something amazing I hadn't known about before where food was concerned...self control. Wow...who knew?
The biggest victories for me have been the how I approach the all you can eat buffets, turns out you don't have to eat all you can eat. I no longer give in to entire treats, I can have a portion of something. Did you know you can actually eat half a chocolate bar. Weird hey? I now try to feel my feelings instead of stuff them and I am learning to love how look, regardless of the fact that I could still be lighter. Remarkable. Can you beleive it's only taken me a year to learn this stuff? I know, slow learner. :)
So, if you don't want to public post feel free to send me a private message, talk to me in person, or ignore me altogether...it's your call.
I would love to hear from some of you foreign readers, I'm always so amazed by how many people around the world take the time to read my ramblings. Thank you all for reading so faithfully, you truly bless me and I hope and pray something I say will help you with your journey.
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
(And tell me things you'd like me to write about...I'd love that too.)
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Happy Birthday to Me
So 52 has shown itself and the title of my blog no longer fits, however, I think I'm going to continue as a now 52 year old who wants to lose 51 pounds. No way I'm adding another pound, I could be writing for 3 extra months to lose another pound at the rate I'm going. I am happy to be 17 pounds lighter at 52 as opposed to the increase in weight that I'd usually see from year to year.
Todays Question: "Do any of you remember trying to lose weight before you turned...whatever age?"
I did that for so many years. Saw myself as a failure when the day would come and I hadn't lost the weight. So silly! Now at 52 I look back and wonder if I've grown, improved or changed in significant ways that will change me as a person. Ways that are lasting and have a positive impact on the people around me. Ways that truly matter. Not saying that weight does not matter because I sure know it does, my quality of life has improved because I'm feeling better lighter. This now 52 year old body is not complaining as much as that 51 year old model did that's for sure. I know that dropping more weight will continue to improve my health. So I get the importance of taking care of my physical self, I'm just saying that when the marker for a years passing comes so should some questions. Am I a better, kinder more loving person? Have I changed in the areas where I know I need too? Have I made improvements or did I waste another year doing the same old things expecting some amazingly different result?
Life can force us to change or we can change ourselves, I'd really rather not face those or so hard lessons because I'm too stubborn to listen to the little nudges that speak to my need for improvement. I'd rather weed out my own flaws at a comfortable pace than have some circumstance rip them out by the root.
My advice for you beautifuls at 52...pull up your own weeds, attack those roots with the same force you dive into your birthday cake and presents. Look honestly at yourself, be loving, and then gently but aggressively change the unloveliness in your life. God is patient and He is kind, however, He loves us enough not to let us remain unchanged.
My Prayer: "May each year that passes Lord remind us of how faithful you are to work in us. Find us willing to change and to grow into the men/women you have created us to be. Things do happen beyond our control Lord and we trust You, help us to see when the things that are happening to us are caused by us and help us to grow."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Year
Todays Question: "Do any of you remember trying to lose weight before you turned...whatever age?"
I did that for so many years. Saw myself as a failure when the day would come and I hadn't lost the weight. So silly! Now at 52 I look back and wonder if I've grown, improved or changed in significant ways that will change me as a person. Ways that are lasting and have a positive impact on the people around me. Ways that truly matter. Not saying that weight does not matter because I sure know it does, my quality of life has improved because I'm feeling better lighter. This now 52 year old body is not complaining as much as that 51 year old model did that's for sure. I know that dropping more weight will continue to improve my health. So I get the importance of taking care of my physical self, I'm just saying that when the marker for a years passing comes so should some questions. Am I a better, kinder more loving person? Have I changed in the areas where I know I need too? Have I made improvements or did I waste another year doing the same old things expecting some amazingly different result?
Life can force us to change or we can change ourselves, I'd really rather not face those or so hard lessons because I'm too stubborn to listen to the little nudges that speak to my need for improvement. I'd rather weed out my own flaws at a comfortable pace than have some circumstance rip them out by the root.
My advice for you beautifuls at 52...pull up your own weeds, attack those roots with the same force you dive into your birthday cake and presents. Look honestly at yourself, be loving, and then gently but aggressively change the unloveliness in your life. God is patient and He is kind, however, He loves us enough not to let us remain unchanged.
My Prayer: "May each year that passes Lord remind us of how faithful you are to work in us. Find us willing to change and to grow into the men/women you have created us to be. Things do happen beyond our control Lord and we trust You, help us to see when the things that are happening to us are caused by us and help us to grow."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Year
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
And Holding
It would appear that 17lbs down is now the new set point, I've noticed over these last 11 months (yes it's been that long) that my body seems to like sitting in one spot for a time. I'd say time in it's definition regarding changes on the scale runs about a month or two. I'm going to see if I can stir time up, I'd like to drop these last three pounds to see a 20lb drop in a year. That does not seem as pitiful as only 17lbs in what will soon be one year, not sure why.
Todays Question: "Are you ever happy about something and unhappy about it at the same time?"
That defines me lately, as in happy I'm 17lbs ligther, but wish it was more, as in love the farmhouse, miss my old house, as in miss my kids, but glad they are having fun in Austria, as in looking forward to my birthday and wondering how time flies where age is concerned and not when you are waiting for something else.
Life is a funny series of challenges, overwhelming joys and agonizing changes, life is full of surprises that can send you from elation to despair in moments...and still...I love life. I enjoy everyday regardless of how much I may whine, grumble or complain. I'm happy I have enough food to cut back on, happy I see the people I love struggle only to find they have more strength than they thought they did, including myself of course. I even enjoy aging. I know it's weird...but I keep believing that each year I've gotten at least a little wiser. Eternal optimist is the term I often use to describe myself...I truly beleive, "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purposes."
Today is counseling Tuesday and I'm glad I get to focus on someone other than myself today. I've been spending way too much time missing my babies and it's time to get some things done and be happy they are having so much fun. Refocus is a great word and an even better action. I'm going to rejoice with those who rejoice...whether I miss them or not. I'm going to embrace the sale of my old house as soon as that buyer shows up. I'm going to move forward in spite of this feeling I have to sit on my butt and resist these changes that are happening around me. I'm going to trust that God has gone ahead and prepared the way.
Why do I always seem to forget I live according to God's plan for me and not my own? His ways are truly so much better than mine.
My Prayer: "God please give us peace during the seasons of change and remind us that You always know what is best for us...regardless of whether it makes sense to us at the time or not. Thank you for the plans you have for all of us...it's good to know that you know, especially when we don't."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Are you ever happy about something and unhappy about it at the same time?"
That defines me lately, as in happy I'm 17lbs ligther, but wish it was more, as in love the farmhouse, miss my old house, as in miss my kids, but glad they are having fun in Austria, as in looking forward to my birthday and wondering how time flies where age is concerned and not when you are waiting for something else.
Life is a funny series of challenges, overwhelming joys and agonizing changes, life is full of surprises that can send you from elation to despair in moments...and still...I love life. I enjoy everyday regardless of how much I may whine, grumble or complain. I'm happy I have enough food to cut back on, happy I see the people I love struggle only to find they have more strength than they thought they did, including myself of course. I even enjoy aging. I know it's weird...but I keep believing that each year I've gotten at least a little wiser. Eternal optimist is the term I often use to describe myself...I truly beleive, "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purposes."
Today is counseling Tuesday and I'm glad I get to focus on someone other than myself today. I've been spending way too much time missing my babies and it's time to get some things done and be happy they are having so much fun. Refocus is a great word and an even better action. I'm going to rejoice with those who rejoice...whether I miss them or not. I'm going to embrace the sale of my old house as soon as that buyer shows up. I'm going to move forward in spite of this feeling I have to sit on my butt and resist these changes that are happening around me. I'm going to trust that God has gone ahead and prepared the way.
Why do I always seem to forget I live according to God's plan for me and not my own? His ways are truly so much better than mine.
My Prayer: "God please give us peace during the seasons of change and remind us that You always know what is best for us...regardless of whether it makes sense to us at the time or not. Thank you for the plans you have for all of us...it's good to know that you know, especially when we don't."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Seem to Be Stuck in Woe Mode
I'm trying to snap out of this state of the blahs but I have to admit...I suck at it. How pitiful, how ridiculous, how rude, how silly, how baby like, oh what a sally I am. I know I should be enjoying all this free time, when I say free I mean between packing, unpacking, getting a new kitty cause the stupid coyote or something got Poncho and Lefty., etc.
Today Question: "Why, why, why do the people you love have to go away?"
Sure glad I have people I love here with me or this would seriously be the worst 21 days (18 days left) of my life. I'm smiling, please don't take me too seriously I'm trying not too. :) I said that last statement because it reminded me of my baby Gordon, well he's not a baby anymore but he'll always be my baby. We had gone on a wonderful traveling adventure with my mom and dad who had come to visit us while we lived in Oakland, Maryland for a few months. Gord (my husband) was working in the States and we decided to join him and travel on the weekends, the work schedule gave him 3 day weekends for the majority of the time we lived there. So, off we went to see the sites and all was good, however, Canadians do not always remember American holidays and so all the little towns and roadside stops seemed to be closed. After many failed attempts to find a place to eat we finally found a place that looked open, they were and thank God the pumps were working, however, the restaurant was closed due to the holiday. My little Gordon had had enough and he proclaimed in his most disgusted voice that; "This is the worst day of my life." He was 6 at the time and provided the much needed laugh a long day of getting lost often requires. Lest someone gets hurt.
It's been a long time since I've felt so blah, I do know that the blahs come to everyone sooner or later, dosen't mean I have to like them. So I think I'll ignore them and stop singing this woe is me song. I have to regroup people, step it up, get back in the game, suck it up Princess, get over it. Can't beleive this person, when I say person I mean me, is a Counselor, can't beleive this person counsels others and can't seem to take her own advice. Someone should report me...I'm a hypocrite...I hate it when people don't practice what they preach. Oh dear!
Alright it's done, you've just read the last serious whining post I'll write, please note I said serious whining, not last whining post ever. :)
But we can hope...oh there is always hope.
My Prayer: "Oh God of amazing wonders and spectacular goodness to all, remind us of how remarkable it is to love, to miss people you love and to be reunited. Strengthen us until the day we are all reunited with you and our loved ones who've gone ahead. You are truly so good and the best comforter I've ever known."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Today Question: "Why, why, why do the people you love have to go away?"
Sure glad I have people I love here with me or this would seriously be the worst 21 days (18 days left) of my life. I'm smiling, please don't take me too seriously I'm trying not too. :) I said that last statement because it reminded me of my baby Gordon, well he's not a baby anymore but he'll always be my baby. We had gone on a wonderful traveling adventure with my mom and dad who had come to visit us while we lived in Oakland, Maryland for a few months. Gord (my husband) was working in the States and we decided to join him and travel on the weekends, the work schedule gave him 3 day weekends for the majority of the time we lived there. So, off we went to see the sites and all was good, however, Canadians do not always remember American holidays and so all the little towns and roadside stops seemed to be closed. After many failed attempts to find a place to eat we finally found a place that looked open, they were and thank God the pumps were working, however, the restaurant was closed due to the holiday. My little Gordon had had enough and he proclaimed in his most disgusted voice that; "This is the worst day of my life." He was 6 at the time and provided the much needed laugh a long day of getting lost often requires. Lest someone gets hurt.
It's been a long time since I've felt so blah, I do know that the blahs come to everyone sooner or later, dosen't mean I have to like them. So I think I'll ignore them and stop singing this woe is me song. I have to regroup people, step it up, get back in the game, suck it up Princess, get over it. Can't beleive this person, when I say person I mean me, is a Counselor, can't beleive this person counsels others and can't seem to take her own advice. Someone should report me...I'm a hypocrite...I hate it when people don't practice what they preach. Oh dear!
Alright it's done, you've just read the last serious whining post I'll write, please note I said serious whining, not last whining post ever. :)
But we can hope...oh there is always hope.
My Prayer: "Oh God of amazing wonders and spectacular goodness to all, remind us of how remarkable it is to love, to miss people you love and to be reunited. Strengthen us until the day we are all reunited with you and our loved ones who've gone ahead. You are truly so good and the best comforter I've ever known."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Woe is Me
I'm so sorry I haven't written for a while. I've been in this state of, I know what's coming, bamm...it arrived. That would be the day (yesterday) my beautiful daughter, took her adorable son and wonderful husband to Austria, then Spain for 21 long, drug out, (did I say drug out, I meant to say I'll be drugged out) days...for a vacation. They are off to a wedding in a castle in Spain after a 10 day trollop over the hills in Austria. Nice for them...I was supposed to go too with my husband, sad story, house didn't sell, some repairs from flooding, and here I am at home whinning. Did I say whinning, I meant pining. They left yesterday, feels like they've been gone forever.
Todays Question: "Do you ever hear yourself complaining when you know you have so much to be grateful for?"
I do. My best friend Lucie brought me flowers, a London Fog and a new vase, she was here at the farmhouse less than an hour after I said goodbye. I wasn't allowed to go to the airport, Tessa mentioned something about crying too much and upsetting Zayin, he of course would want to stay and comfort Grandma. Whatever!!!! Chantel my wonderful daughter-in-law brought the most adorable Scarlett to visit Grandma last night. You see how blessed I am.
And still...I miss them so much. The meow meows, as Zayin called them went missing in the afternoon, hoped they'd come home. Met the neighbors in my search, but sadly no kitties and the coyotes abound outside the 4 acres of fenced safety. Silly kitties.
Yesterday seems to be a reflection of how complex and ever changing emotions are, perhaps I needed to be reminded of that. It is possible to feel so blessed and be sad at the same time. It is amazing to recognize how wonderful the people around you can be, and still miss the ones who think vacations should be part of life. I mean they should, but wouldn't it be nice if Grandma got to go on every vacation the grandkids went on. I seriously don't know how you people survive when your children live in other towns, never mind countries. It is still so hard for me to be away from my children and I'm certain it always will be. Add Grandkids to the mix and it feels like the ache from their absence magnified times a hundred. I didn't think it could.
The woe is me girl will be okay, I'll take one day at a time, counting down days, praying, crying when things remind me of them, everything does. And then it will be September 10 and I'll race to the airport early, look at my clock a million times and cry like a baby when I see those children of mine. I'm pitiful I know but I seriously pray:
"Lord help every mother and every father to see how truly amazing the gift of a child is. Let us rejoice and know that we are so blessed to have them, let us treat them like the treasures they are all the very long days of their lives, no matter how young or how old they are."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Do you ever hear yourself complaining when you know you have so much to be grateful for?"
I do. My best friend Lucie brought me flowers, a London Fog and a new vase, she was here at the farmhouse less than an hour after I said goodbye. I wasn't allowed to go to the airport, Tessa mentioned something about crying too much and upsetting Zayin, he of course would want to stay and comfort Grandma. Whatever!!!! Chantel my wonderful daughter-in-law brought the most adorable Scarlett to visit Grandma last night. You see how blessed I am.
And still...I miss them so much. The meow meows, as Zayin called them went missing in the afternoon, hoped they'd come home. Met the neighbors in my search, but sadly no kitties and the coyotes abound outside the 4 acres of fenced safety. Silly kitties.
Yesterday seems to be a reflection of how complex and ever changing emotions are, perhaps I needed to be reminded of that. It is possible to feel so blessed and be sad at the same time. It is amazing to recognize how wonderful the people around you can be, and still miss the ones who think vacations should be part of life. I mean they should, but wouldn't it be nice if Grandma got to go on every vacation the grandkids went on. I seriously don't know how you people survive when your children live in other towns, never mind countries. It is still so hard for me to be away from my children and I'm certain it always will be. Add Grandkids to the mix and it feels like the ache from their absence magnified times a hundred. I didn't think it could.
The woe is me girl will be okay, I'll take one day at a time, counting down days, praying, crying when things remind me of them, everything does. And then it will be September 10 and I'll race to the airport early, look at my clock a million times and cry like a baby when I see those children of mine. I'm pitiful I know but I seriously pray:
"Lord help every mother and every father to see how truly amazing the gift of a child is. Let us rejoice and know that we are so blessed to have them, let us treat them like the treasures they are all the very long days of their lives, no matter how young or how old they are."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Weird...So Weird!
Here I sit in my new farmhouse, loving it, yep in spite of all the emotions I still have over the move, I feel good being here and it does feel right. Here is the weird...so weird, part. I do not walk into this house and start looking for food, I don't open the fridge door the minute I walk in, in fact I think the last time I opened the fridge was to get a drink of mineral water and that was it. This house does not seem to be about food.
Todays Question: "How did that happen and what's the difference?"
I need to figure that out. It would appear that food is slowly, I repeat, slowly taking the place it should in my life. It's no longer king of my universe, it is becoming fuel for my body, I still enjoy it, not giving it up, had french fries and chicken tenders at the movie last night with Christan, so don't panic, there is nothing wrong with me. I just seem to be finding the balance I've lacked for so many years and that is remarkable to me. I am still 17 lbs lighter and didn't even care when I went to step on the scale this morning. I knew I would be fine, regardless of what it said. Once again....WEIRD!!!
Digging a little deeper...it would appear that moving forward is good, letting go is hard, but also good. I am learning that change is good, even though it happens when nothing seems wrong. Weird! I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to be so loved by so many people and to have so many freinds. I am enjoying this ride that is my life right now in spite of the hills and valleys. I'm not getting off...although I realize it may have looked like I was going to bail several times. I'm still in the boat, or did I dare to step out and walk on the water? ;)
My Prayer: "Lord help us to keep walking when we are tired of the journey, remind us that our final destination will clear up all the cobwebs that have formed in our minds. Teach us that it is better to take the journey one step at a time...trusting once again that you have gone ahead of us."
Life truly is a series of footsteps.
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "How did that happen and what's the difference?"
I need to figure that out. It would appear that food is slowly, I repeat, slowly taking the place it should in my life. It's no longer king of my universe, it is becoming fuel for my body, I still enjoy it, not giving it up, had french fries and chicken tenders at the movie last night with Christan, so don't panic, there is nothing wrong with me. I just seem to be finding the balance I've lacked for so many years and that is remarkable to me. I am still 17 lbs lighter and didn't even care when I went to step on the scale this morning. I knew I would be fine, regardless of what it said. Once again....WEIRD!!!
Digging a little deeper...it would appear that moving forward is good, letting go is hard, but also good. I am learning that change is good, even though it happens when nothing seems wrong. Weird! I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to be so loved by so many people and to have so many freinds. I am enjoying this ride that is my life right now in spite of the hills and valleys. I'm not getting off...although I realize it may have looked like I was going to bail several times. I'm still in the boat, or did I dare to step out and walk on the water? ;)
My Prayer: "Lord help us to keep walking when we are tired of the journey, remind us that our final destination will clear up all the cobwebs that have formed in our minds. Teach us that it is better to take the journey one step at a time...trusting once again that you have gone ahead of us."
Life truly is a series of footsteps.
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Monday, August 16, 2010
He Knows Me Well
There is a Psalm I love that speaks of how God is intimately acquainted with our ways, translation in my mind, He knows me well. In the past I've always read that Psalm and gotten those warm feelings of being known, all so very positive and tingly. This week I became aware of how knowing someone in an intimate way gives you the insight needed to do what's best for them, whether they (being me) like it or not. And that is what God did for me, (or do I mean to me) this week.
Todays Question: "Has life ever made you get off your butt and do the thing you've been avoiding? (Like the plaque or swatting off like the mosquito.)
Life moved me this week, forced me out of my comfort zone, threw me out of my own house and into my other farm house. It all seemed to happen around me, it was like I was in the game but I never signed up for it. This is not the first time God has done this to me, probably won't be the last either. How do I know it was God, because I had to move, I had to do it, I couldn't stop the ball. I hope you all know that when God moves the ball, you move and when you find yourself somewhere you've been avoiding and you're still okay...well my friends...I think those are the times when you've dropped the ball and God picks it up for you and rolls it along with you on it. And ta da...you end up where you belong. Shocked, baffled, in awe, amazed, stunned and grateful, but puzzled, wondering how that happened and why the ride didn't kill you.
It started with a call from Gord's parents saying they were coming for a visit. Then a going away party for a wonderful long time family friend, then a visit from my sister and her husband and the girls, then me feeling overwhelemed. I could feel it coming, I was speaking the words, we'll have to stay at the farm and let your parents stay in our room in town, was that me? Then I told my sister they could stay in the trailer at the farm, then I said yes to Dave, my sister's husband helping Gord move our bed. I'd missed it way too much to do without it for one more night at the farmhouse. Then it wouldn't go up the stairs...so they said, Connie and I sad yes that bed will go up the stairs, my prayer. "God if you want me in this farmhouse I need my bed to go up the stairs or I'm not supposed to live here." Bold and a little arrogant I know, but up the stairs that King Sized mattress went, it wasn't easy, but in five minutes it was in place. Okay maybe Connie and I were a little...let's just say right, you know how women love to be right when that means the husbands are wrong. Yes, I praised the Lord. Still clueless as to what was happening around me.
Yesterday Gord kept asking me to go to the house in town to get things, like my clothes, food from the fridge, you know silly stuff we needed, I wouldn't go. Too tired, too busy, I needed rest it was a busy weekend and I'm still coughing for crying out loud. All the company left and I needed to sit in this farmhouse. I think I was still trying to figure out how I got here. I don't have the address changed, I don't have the phone hooked up, no cable, none of the things done that people who are moving know to do. Do you think I think I wasn't moving? Yes...I think that's what I thought.
I finally went to the house in town after Gord had done the "majority of the things we needed move." I thought I'd walk in and fall apart, instead I packed things, it's official the jockey drawer has been emptied and all 75 pairs are at the farmhouse, once you move your undies people the rest is irrelevant. So now I'm happy, it feels right to be here, it's beautiful walking from room to room and seeing the most remarkable things out of evey window. Pastor Bob and Karen stopped by for a short visit and I was inspired to light candles, wash the floor, set up the temporary coffee and end table. I hung some pictures, when I say I...I mean Gord hung them where I pointed. :) He's amazing that man of mine and has done a remarkable job transforming this house into a thing of beauty. Pastor Bob said our upstairs reminded him of the Queens suite at the Hotel MacDonald and I had to agree. I snapped out of my stupor.
I have to tell you I still love how it feels to be in our other house, I still love it, and you know what...it's okay to leave a place without bad memories, it's okay to love where you've been on the way to where you are going...in fact...
My Prayer: is that..."You precious and awesome Father would always help us to embrace where we have been, knowing that everything you have prepared for us is good, regardless of how it feels to us as we move...in any direction. Thank you for knowing us intimately and for pushing gently when we resist...I truly know what it means now when I hear people say..."Resistance is futile." I also know how important it is to move when comfortable has set in."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Has life ever made you get off your butt and do the thing you've been avoiding? (Like the plaque or swatting off like the mosquito.)
Life moved me this week, forced me out of my comfort zone, threw me out of my own house and into my other farm house. It all seemed to happen around me, it was like I was in the game but I never signed up for it. This is not the first time God has done this to me, probably won't be the last either. How do I know it was God, because I had to move, I had to do it, I couldn't stop the ball. I hope you all know that when God moves the ball, you move and when you find yourself somewhere you've been avoiding and you're still okay...well my friends...I think those are the times when you've dropped the ball and God picks it up for you and rolls it along with you on it. And ta da...you end up where you belong. Shocked, baffled, in awe, amazed, stunned and grateful, but puzzled, wondering how that happened and why the ride didn't kill you.
It started with a call from Gord's parents saying they were coming for a visit. Then a going away party for a wonderful long time family friend, then a visit from my sister and her husband and the girls, then me feeling overwhelemed. I could feel it coming, I was speaking the words, we'll have to stay at the farm and let your parents stay in our room in town, was that me? Then I told my sister they could stay in the trailer at the farm, then I said yes to Dave, my sister's husband helping Gord move our bed. I'd missed it way too much to do without it for one more night at the farmhouse. Then it wouldn't go up the stairs...so they said, Connie and I sad yes that bed will go up the stairs, my prayer. "God if you want me in this farmhouse I need my bed to go up the stairs or I'm not supposed to live here." Bold and a little arrogant I know, but up the stairs that King Sized mattress went, it wasn't easy, but in five minutes it was in place. Okay maybe Connie and I were a little...let's just say right, you know how women love to be right when that means the husbands are wrong. Yes, I praised the Lord. Still clueless as to what was happening around me.
Yesterday Gord kept asking me to go to the house in town to get things, like my clothes, food from the fridge, you know silly stuff we needed, I wouldn't go. Too tired, too busy, I needed rest it was a busy weekend and I'm still coughing for crying out loud. All the company left and I needed to sit in this farmhouse. I think I was still trying to figure out how I got here. I don't have the address changed, I don't have the phone hooked up, no cable, none of the things done that people who are moving know to do. Do you think I think I wasn't moving? Yes...I think that's what I thought.
I finally went to the house in town after Gord had done the "majority of the things we needed move." I thought I'd walk in and fall apart, instead I packed things, it's official the jockey drawer has been emptied and all 75 pairs are at the farmhouse, once you move your undies people the rest is irrelevant. So now I'm happy, it feels right to be here, it's beautiful walking from room to room and seeing the most remarkable things out of evey window. Pastor Bob and Karen stopped by for a short visit and I was inspired to light candles, wash the floor, set up the temporary coffee and end table. I hung some pictures, when I say I...I mean Gord hung them where I pointed. :) He's amazing that man of mine and has done a remarkable job transforming this house into a thing of beauty. Pastor Bob said our upstairs reminded him of the Queens suite at the Hotel MacDonald and I had to agree. I snapped out of my stupor.
I have to tell you I still love how it feels to be in our other house, I still love it, and you know what...it's okay to leave a place without bad memories, it's okay to love where you've been on the way to where you are going...in fact...
My Prayer: is that..."You precious and awesome Father would always help us to embrace where we have been, knowing that everything you have prepared for us is good, regardless of how it feels to us as we move...in any direction. Thank you for knowing us intimately and for pushing gently when we resist...I truly know what it means now when I hear people say..."Resistance is futile." I also know how important it is to move when comfortable has set in."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Friday, August 13, 2010
Be Careful How you Pray.
So yesterday I said it was move in day, then the rain came, I was thinking God was giving me more time. Turns out, he was planning, you know going ahead of me and preparing my way. Something I prayed at the end of yesterday's blog. I was very happy to be getting a couple extra days, loved that while it rained I could cry and mourn and get over having to leave my beautiful city house. Then the phone rang.
Today's Question: "Who invented phones and why do we answer them?"
Plans changed for our company, Gord's mom and Ed are down for the annual summer visit, happy to see them, but wait...where are they going to sleep, we only have a single bed left at our city house. I thought about it, but decided it would be wrong. So sacrificed my big king sized, very comfy bed for them, it was the right thing to do, and left for the farm house at bed time and spent our first night in the guest room, in a queen sized bed. It was fun, I'm fine and I like being here. God is so pushy sometimes, but also so awesome. I mentioned I get comfortable and don't like to move, He planned, went ahead of me, prepared my way, answered my prayers, oh why? :) I wanted to stay two more rainy days but off we went. I could have slept on the couches in the living room. I can be that stubborn.
I liked the sound of rain this morning outside the open window, I wasn't bothered when Trixie woke me up barking, she's on patrol and it was short, slept well, love looking down the hall at my beautiful kitchen cupboards, love that I'm going to put on my rubber boots, go snuggle with kitties and feed my horses before I head back to the city house to visit our company. I'll take more pillows with me tonight, I had to sleep with only two, yikes, nomrally we have six in our bed, I missed them. It was the right answer to my prayers, the time had come and...
...the comfort girl got pushed to move, she went, she also learned that God remains as faithful as He always has been, great...great...great is His faithfulness my friends. He is new every morning and I love that, He is the same yesterday, today and forever, and I love that. He is gentle and His pushes are always good for me. Thank you so much Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
My Prayer: "May you be pushed gently when needed, secure in His love for you always and assured that His plans for you are always way better than your own."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
I'm off to slop the pigs, feed the chickens and rustle the cows...kidding.
Today's Question: "Who invented phones and why do we answer them?"
Plans changed for our company, Gord's mom and Ed are down for the annual summer visit, happy to see them, but wait...where are they going to sleep, we only have a single bed left at our city house. I thought about it, but decided it would be wrong. So sacrificed my big king sized, very comfy bed for them, it was the right thing to do, and left for the farm house at bed time and spent our first night in the guest room, in a queen sized bed. It was fun, I'm fine and I like being here. God is so pushy sometimes, but also so awesome. I mentioned I get comfortable and don't like to move, He planned, went ahead of me, prepared my way, answered my prayers, oh why? :) I wanted to stay two more rainy days but off we went. I could have slept on the couches in the living room. I can be that stubborn.
I liked the sound of rain this morning outside the open window, I wasn't bothered when Trixie woke me up barking, she's on patrol and it was short, slept well, love looking down the hall at my beautiful kitchen cupboards, love that I'm going to put on my rubber boots, go snuggle with kitties and feed my horses before I head back to the city house to visit our company. I'll take more pillows with me tonight, I had to sleep with only two, yikes, nomrally we have six in our bed, I missed them. It was the right answer to my prayers, the time had come and...
...the comfort girl got pushed to move, she went, she also learned that God remains as faithful as He always has been, great...great...great is His faithfulness my friends. He is new every morning and I love that, He is the same yesterday, today and forever, and I love that. He is gentle and His pushes are always good for me. Thank you so much Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
My Prayer: "May you be pushed gently when needed, secure in His love for you always and assured that His plans for you are always way better than your own."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
I'm off to slop the pigs, feed the chickens and rustle the cows...kidding.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Today is The Day
The plan is to move the bed from this house to the farmhouse tonight...so after some tears last night I finally went to sleep. Thinking it was the last night in this house I have loved for fifteen years was a little hard to swallow. It just wouldn't go down without those tears.
I have so many good memories and the only thing I can think of that's not so good is the fact that it's been a little slower to sell than I thought it would. However after last nights bawl...I'm thinking maybe it just wasn't going to sell until I was ready to make the decision to move. So glad I have a husband who waits patiently for me to move, and above all a God who is patient and knows me better than I know myself. I get comfortable in a place and then it is very difficult for me to beleive I'll ever be comfortable again if I leave it. I know that's not true, it's just a process I seem to have to go through. For example, I'm comfortable being fifteen pounds lighter, at 17lbs now and adjusting. Weird I know.
Todays Question: "Have you ever noticed that it's harder to walk away from anything that you truly love, I'm not talking about people but things?"
I know things, like houses cannot love you back, but...I really have felt so blessed in this home. Always felt safe, always felt like God gave us this home and truly will miss everything about it. Love...love...love that all three of my kids loved this home as well. I have lived in many houses and left many as well. Never once did I feel the way about those homes that I do about this one. Never regretted having to leave any. Was always happy to go, not unhappy in them, just felt like better things awaited. The problem is this house has always felt right and I guess I thought that would change when the farmhouse was finished. It hasn't!!!
I'm very happy to report that I love being in the farmhouse as well. It feels right too, and since I can't have both I had to make a choice. So I'm choosing to start the process tonight and will hopefully, if we can get our kingsize bed up the stairs, be sleeping at the farmhouse tonight. No tv, that should be good for us, no pictures up, not so good for me, things that can't be moved yet to keep this house staged for sale, will miss my chair, tons of clothes to move and things to set up...that's kind of exciting. :) I have hope restored...it's been lacking as of late.
I wonder when I'll figure out that I should just take those steps of faith needed to make changes when I'm not unhappy where I am. I wonder when I'll figure out that I don't have to become miserable in order to move, I can move before the misery sets it. I wonder about me on a very regular basis.
My Prayer: "God of wonders go ahead of us and prepare our way. If you do not, I do not want to go. Guide us by your Holy Spirit and lead us on those wonderful paths of righteousness and help us to make right choices on the way."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
I have so many good memories and the only thing I can think of that's not so good is the fact that it's been a little slower to sell than I thought it would. However after last nights bawl...I'm thinking maybe it just wasn't going to sell until I was ready to make the decision to move. So glad I have a husband who waits patiently for me to move, and above all a God who is patient and knows me better than I know myself. I get comfortable in a place and then it is very difficult for me to beleive I'll ever be comfortable again if I leave it. I know that's not true, it's just a process I seem to have to go through. For example, I'm comfortable being fifteen pounds lighter, at 17lbs now and adjusting. Weird I know.
Todays Question: "Have you ever noticed that it's harder to walk away from anything that you truly love, I'm not talking about people but things?"
I know things, like houses cannot love you back, but...I really have felt so blessed in this home. Always felt safe, always felt like God gave us this home and truly will miss everything about it. Love...love...love that all three of my kids loved this home as well. I have lived in many houses and left many as well. Never once did I feel the way about those homes that I do about this one. Never regretted having to leave any. Was always happy to go, not unhappy in them, just felt like better things awaited. The problem is this house has always felt right and I guess I thought that would change when the farmhouse was finished. It hasn't!!!
I'm very happy to report that I love being in the farmhouse as well. It feels right too, and since I can't have both I had to make a choice. So I'm choosing to start the process tonight and will hopefully, if we can get our kingsize bed up the stairs, be sleeping at the farmhouse tonight. No tv, that should be good for us, no pictures up, not so good for me, things that can't be moved yet to keep this house staged for sale, will miss my chair, tons of clothes to move and things to set up...that's kind of exciting. :) I have hope restored...it's been lacking as of late.
I wonder when I'll figure out that I should just take those steps of faith needed to make changes when I'm not unhappy where I am. I wonder when I'll figure out that I don't have to become miserable in order to move, I can move before the misery sets it. I wonder about me on a very regular basis.
My Prayer: "God of wonders go ahead of us and prepare our way. If you do not, I do not want to go. Guide us by your Holy Spirit and lead us on those wonderful paths of righteousness and help us to make right choices on the way."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Secret Weapon Revealed
Well my friends turns out that I have found the secret weapon to weight loss and I'm going to share that secret with you. Coughing is an excellent form of exercise. According to my Chiropracter it works out the entire body with such force that it can rotate a hip. That's why I'm having a hard time walking...coughed my hip right out of place. Yikes!
Todays Question: "Did you know that coughing can also cause weight loss?"
I sure didn't, had I know I'd have gotten Bronchitis alot sooner. I am down another pound this morning. If I keep this up I could cough my way to 51 pound lighter in a month. Oh I hope this cough does not last that long. I know why you lose weight coughing...it's exhausting. I've never coughed so much in all my 51 years, counting when I had pnemonia five years ago. Wipes a person right out.
At least I'm seeing some results, that's the positive I'm sure. I haven't lost my appetite, no surprise, I'm not sure what it would take for me to lose my appetite, not sure I want to find out either.
I'm going to ignore how horrible I feel and do my very best to enjoy this new plan for weight loss. Cough, hack, sit up, say ouch, limp, remember my hips out from coughing, did I mention that I rode the ride on tractor and mowed a couple acres. Did I mention that I wrecked the blade...oh dear. People who are sick should not drive tractors with blades...oh and rocks, tree branches and dirt do not help tractor blades to stay in place. Ok...I didn't plan to hit the rock, just a little off balance these days. If you see my husband don't mention the big rock, he thinks it's the tractors fault. I love him.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to stay focused when so many things seem to blur our minds. Remind us of how truly blessed we are even on those difficult days that often come."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Did you know that coughing can also cause weight loss?"
I sure didn't, had I know I'd have gotten Bronchitis alot sooner. I am down another pound this morning. If I keep this up I could cough my way to 51 pound lighter in a month. Oh I hope this cough does not last that long. I know why you lose weight coughing...it's exhausting. I've never coughed so much in all my 51 years, counting when I had pnemonia five years ago. Wipes a person right out.
At least I'm seeing some results, that's the positive I'm sure. I haven't lost my appetite, no surprise, I'm not sure what it would take for me to lose my appetite, not sure I want to find out either.
I'm going to ignore how horrible I feel and do my very best to enjoy this new plan for weight loss. Cough, hack, sit up, say ouch, limp, remember my hips out from coughing, did I mention that I rode the ride on tractor and mowed a couple acres. Did I mention that I wrecked the blade...oh dear. People who are sick should not drive tractors with blades...oh and rocks, tree branches and dirt do not help tractor blades to stay in place. Ok...I didn't plan to hit the rock, just a little off balance these days. If you see my husband don't mention the big rock, he thinks it's the tractors fault. I love him.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to stay focused when so many things seem to blur our minds. Remind us of how truly blessed we are even on those difficult days that often come."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Cough, Limp, Wheeze
This mornings title is a very accurate description of me as of late. I'm hoping it does not last but seriously beginning to wonder. The limp is new, I had a bit of a sore hip on Sunday night, thought it was from sitting too much driving, Monday hurt a bit, Monday night...call a paramedic I'm in agony over here. Slight exageration I'm sure...but only slight. Ouch! This morning I'm limping and in pain every time I take a step...sitting doesn't hurt as bad, laying down is a crap shoot, sometimes it hurts sometimes it does not. It would appear that as 52 approaches with lightning speed so do the pains.
Todays Question: "Why would I have a sore hip, it's not like I overexerted myself exercising...ever?"
Add to that now painful hip my coughing, which only ads to that pain, the wheezing that has me sounding like Darth Vaders sister...Marth and the ache in my head from coughing too much, and I'm not sure I'll see 52. I do have bronchitis and a perscription so there is hope. I do also realize I'm not one of those people who likes to suffer in silence, ok maybe I whine. I was doing ok at the beginning of this sickness, hardly complaining at all, but as the weeks passed with no improvement and the infection set in...so began the whining. Gord had a very pitiful wheezing, ouching, coughing, hacking, sniffling and flitting wife to deal with last night. Sleep came but it took it's time, pain woke me up way too often, I didn't wake him up. I'm not heartless.
Good news, not much of an appetite, although I needed a chocolate bar to make me feel better and I'm sad to report...it did. I know it's not supposed to and I know I should feel guilty but I don't. I only ate half of it and it was just what the Dr. ordered. Well he didn't say take your pills with a chocolate bar, however if I'd have asked him I'm sure he would have. Seriously he heard the wheezing people.
Today, as you may know, is Tuesday...supposed to counsel, thinking about going in just to show my clients someone does have it worse than they do. Maybe not a good idea, I could hack out some advice or breathe like Darth to scare them, if I stand up and scream in pain I'm sure they'd see the value in having me counsel them...don't you agree? ;)
Looks like I'm calling in sick...sick is such a weak word. "I'm just calling to let you know I'm on my last legs so I won't be able to make it in today." Oh that won't work will it...can't hardly stand on that left leg. See what I mean...sick...ya right.
My Prayer: "Lord heal the sick, raise the dead and restore the whiny. Remind those people who may moan and groan like I do how truly blessed we are. Thank you for medicine and Dr.'s, thank you for restoration, and strengthen those brave souls who truly have so much sickness to deal with."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Why would I have a sore hip, it's not like I overexerted myself exercising...ever?"
Add to that now painful hip my coughing, which only ads to that pain, the wheezing that has me sounding like Darth Vaders sister...Marth and the ache in my head from coughing too much, and I'm not sure I'll see 52. I do have bronchitis and a perscription so there is hope. I do also realize I'm not one of those people who likes to suffer in silence, ok maybe I whine. I was doing ok at the beginning of this sickness, hardly complaining at all, but as the weeks passed with no improvement and the infection set in...so began the whining. Gord had a very pitiful wheezing, ouching, coughing, hacking, sniffling and flitting wife to deal with last night. Sleep came but it took it's time, pain woke me up way too often, I didn't wake him up. I'm not heartless.
Good news, not much of an appetite, although I needed a chocolate bar to make me feel better and I'm sad to report...it did. I know it's not supposed to and I know I should feel guilty but I don't. I only ate half of it and it was just what the Dr. ordered. Well he didn't say take your pills with a chocolate bar, however if I'd have asked him I'm sure he would have. Seriously he heard the wheezing people.
Today, as you may know, is Tuesday...supposed to counsel, thinking about going in just to show my clients someone does have it worse than they do. Maybe not a good idea, I could hack out some advice or breathe like Darth to scare them, if I stand up and scream in pain I'm sure they'd see the value in having me counsel them...don't you agree? ;)
Looks like I'm calling in sick...sick is such a weak word. "I'm just calling to let you know I'm on my last legs so I won't be able to make it in today." Oh that won't work will it...can't hardly stand on that left leg. See what I mean...sick...ya right.
My Prayer: "Lord heal the sick, raise the dead and restore the whiny. Remind those people who may moan and groan like I do how truly blessed we are. Thank you for medicine and Dr.'s, thank you for restoration, and strengthen those brave souls who truly have so much sickness to deal with."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Monday, August 9, 2010
Long Weekend Without Gain
Remarkably I spent the last few days in Radium and I never gained a pound. It would seem like a miracle but it was actually all about saying...NO! I add that Lucie's excellent choices inspired me as well.
Todays Question: Can you beleive that two girlfriends went away for a weekend and it was not all about food?
We talked, we watched movies (without junk...proof it can be done), we shopped without buying anything (shocking), and we enjoyed each others company. Oh...we did buy a couple ice cream holders and no spill cups for the grandkids. We couldn't help it. Oops...also Lucie bought me a very nice bracelet and I bought me one too. But no clothes, no shoes, and believe it or not...no purses. :)
We had some wonderful conversations, stayed up too late and stayed in bed until we wanted to get out. No alarms controlling us, no work or home issues to deal with, no stress. It was great.
Best tip I can give you for eating less...hang out with your best friend in the mountains and concentrate on what really matters. We did share wonderful meals together but they never ate us...we ate them. It was a nice change.
This no gain is huge for me on many levels, long weekends away almost always involve eating too much, the 5th of August was a day I didn't try to stuff with food to forget...I just remembered my son and felt those missing him feelings...that was so much better and guilt free. So feel it, live it, enjoy it, savour it my freinds....and for goodness sake...don't eat it. You don't feel better after anyway so what's the point?
My Prayer: "Lord help us to keep growing, big steps or baby steps, lead us and teach us, we need wisdom and are so grateful You know all."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: Can you beleive that two girlfriends went away for a weekend and it was not all about food?
We talked, we watched movies (without junk...proof it can be done), we shopped without buying anything (shocking), and we enjoyed each others company. Oh...we did buy a couple ice cream holders and no spill cups for the grandkids. We couldn't help it. Oops...also Lucie bought me a very nice bracelet and I bought me one too. But no clothes, no shoes, and believe it or not...no purses. :)
We had some wonderful conversations, stayed up too late and stayed in bed until we wanted to get out. No alarms controlling us, no work or home issues to deal with, no stress. It was great.
Best tip I can give you for eating less...hang out with your best friend in the mountains and concentrate on what really matters. We did share wonderful meals together but they never ate us...we ate them. It was a nice change.
This no gain is huge for me on many levels, long weekends away almost always involve eating too much, the 5th of August was a day I didn't try to stuff with food to forget...I just remembered my son and felt those missing him feelings...that was so much better and guilt free. So feel it, live it, enjoy it, savour it my freinds....and for goodness sake...don't eat it. You don't feel better after anyway so what's the point?
My Prayer: "Lord help us to keep growing, big steps or baby steps, lead us and teach us, we need wisdom and are so grateful You know all."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Friday, August 6, 2010
Just Breathe
I'll be a little unpredictable over the next couple of days with my writing, I'm in the beautiful mountains surrounding Radium having a long needed rest with my best friend. So we are being very well behaved girls, eating healthy, avoiding sugar and walking from store to store. Such sacrifices deserve recognition and praise. :)
Todays Question: "Have you ever noticed how what you are eating, doing, thinking, etc, does not seems so important when you are in the company of a wonderful person?"
I sure have. I've been blessed with great family, an amazing husband and the best friend(s) ever. Getting away is a wonderful reminder of how remarkable life can be. That pause...truly does refresh.
I'm going to enjoy every moment of this friend weekend and I'll post when I can. We are watching a chick flick, well I'm am, naps are part of any good weekend away, we are going for a birthday with another friend tonight, then we'll talk too much before we finally go to sleep, then we'll get up and start all over again.
What fun! What fun! What fun!
My Prayer: "May you be blessed with great friends, weekends away to rest/shop/eat out and do every wonderful thing with your friends and family you want."
Be Blessed with a Friend Filled Day.
Todays Question: "Have you ever noticed how what you are eating, doing, thinking, etc, does not seems so important when you are in the company of a wonderful person?"
I sure have. I've been blessed with great family, an amazing husband and the best friend(s) ever. Getting away is a wonderful reminder of how remarkable life can be. That pause...truly does refresh.
I'm going to enjoy every moment of this friend weekend and I'll post when I can. We are watching a chick flick, well I'm am, naps are part of any good weekend away, we are going for a birthday with another friend tonight, then we'll talk too much before we finally go to sleep, then we'll get up and start all over again.
What fun! What fun! What fun!
My Prayer: "May you be blessed with great friends, weekends away to rest/shop/eat out and do every wonderful thing with your friends and family you want."
Be Blessed with a Friend Filled Day.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
So Pitiful Me
Last night I went to bed, after a very long and tiring day, long because the previous nights sleep was interupted by constant boughts of coughing, that would be my cold I'm referring too. So as a result we went to bed at 10pm, coughed a bit as I read a Psalm so my husband did the praying, when he was done he made a comment about my wheezing to which I replied; "I'm thankful I'm still alive enough to complain."
Todays Question: "Is that pitiful or what?"
Saying it made me smile, and know that I realize how very blessed I am. Also know that when it comes to being sick, I'm am a big baby. I still do my stuff, I get things done, but I do enjoy whining about my misery. And for the record, I hate being sick. And this past week has been a series of reminders from my body that 52 is fast approaching. I seriously have no problem with getting older, just would like my body to have no problems with it either. Rude the way it hurts, finds new things to be sore over and changes as I age. I like the pause part of 51, not a fan of that meno stuff. :)
I'm sure the anticipation that builds in me to the 5th day of August is a factor. This day marks 11 years for our Calvin with Jesus and once it arrives I do so much better than the weeks leading to it. God reminded me last night that; "precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints." So remarkably, today I feel better, physcially and mentally. God is great at reminding me of all that I truly have to be thankful for. I am so glad I know where my son is, so glad I'll spend an eternity with him, I'll forget the years that seperated us the moment I see him again. So grateful...very grateful to such a great Saviour.
Today I'm going away for a few days with my best freind Lucie, we'll relax and eat out, moderately for both our health sakes, enjoy rest, conversation, some shopping (that's a no brainer), maybe a pedicure, massage, soaks in the Hot Springs, who knows, who cares. The thing about being with people you love is...it really does not matter what you are doing. It's just so good to be with them.
My Prayer: "Lord thank you for always being with us. What a difference you make in our lives. What a priveledge it is to be your children, help us never to lose sight of the fact that you NEVER lose sight of us."
I love you!
Be Blessed with A Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Is that pitiful or what?"
Saying it made me smile, and know that I realize how very blessed I am. Also know that when it comes to being sick, I'm am a big baby. I still do my stuff, I get things done, but I do enjoy whining about my misery. And for the record, I hate being sick. And this past week has been a series of reminders from my body that 52 is fast approaching. I seriously have no problem with getting older, just would like my body to have no problems with it either. Rude the way it hurts, finds new things to be sore over and changes as I age. I like the pause part of 51, not a fan of that meno stuff. :)
I'm sure the anticipation that builds in me to the 5th day of August is a factor. This day marks 11 years for our Calvin with Jesus and once it arrives I do so much better than the weeks leading to it. God reminded me last night that; "precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints." So remarkably, today I feel better, physcially and mentally. God is great at reminding me of all that I truly have to be thankful for. I am so glad I know where my son is, so glad I'll spend an eternity with him, I'll forget the years that seperated us the moment I see him again. So grateful...very grateful to such a great Saviour.
Today I'm going away for a few days with my best freind Lucie, we'll relax and eat out, moderately for both our health sakes, enjoy rest, conversation, some shopping (that's a no brainer), maybe a pedicure, massage, soaks in the Hot Springs, who knows, who cares. The thing about being with people you love is...it really does not matter what you are doing. It's just so good to be with them.
My Prayer: "Lord thank you for always being with us. What a difference you make in our lives. What a priveledge it is to be your children, help us never to lose sight of the fact that you NEVER lose sight of us."
I love you!
Be Blessed with A Wonderful Day
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Those Little Victories
This morning I realized that not gaining weight after a long weekend has become the norm for me. Having said that I'm trusting it will not change, however, after meals out and a birthday party bbq with icecream cake, I'm happy to report I'm holding that 15lbs lighter securely. Yahoo!
Todays Question: "How often do you focus on what you've done right as opposed to what you've done wrong?"
For me, spent way too much time in the past thinking about my mistakes to see my successes. The thing I love most about the past....it's passed. :)
Planning not to do something is good, planning how much to do when you do it...also good. For example, knew that there would be lots of food at the bbq so planned to have a very small piece of birthday cake and enjoy it. Guilt free. Ate less at lunch according to plan. Didn't overeat at dinner, also planned. It's remarkable what you learn when you stay focused and plan not to zone out.
I have not been feeling that great and normally that would mean food for comfort....I'm sick. Wah wah wah! Sick I tell ya! It's just a cold, a cold sore mixed with crazy menopause, but hey even a stomach flu used to make me eat to feel better. I know how pitiful that is so don't remind me okay. :) Changes are happening, that's my point and the little victories are teaching me that I can change. It takes time and it is a slow process for me but I'm hoping that means it will be lasting. It would appear that an old dog can learn new tricks.
I am really just so happy to realize that I have succeeded at changing weekends into days off, instead of countdowns to Mondays starvation diet, to make up for what I consumed for three days. I counted Friday of course.
My Prayer: "Truly Lord we are works in progress, so grateful you never stop working in us. Please help us all to continue to completion no matter the goal."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "How often do you focus on what you've done right as opposed to what you've done wrong?"
For me, spent way too much time in the past thinking about my mistakes to see my successes. The thing I love most about the past....it's passed. :)
Planning not to do something is good, planning how much to do when you do it...also good. For example, knew that there would be lots of food at the bbq so planned to have a very small piece of birthday cake and enjoy it. Guilt free. Ate less at lunch according to plan. Didn't overeat at dinner, also planned. It's remarkable what you learn when you stay focused and plan not to zone out.
I have not been feeling that great and normally that would mean food for comfort....I'm sick. Wah wah wah! Sick I tell ya! It's just a cold, a cold sore mixed with crazy menopause, but hey even a stomach flu used to make me eat to feel better. I know how pitiful that is so don't remind me okay. :) Changes are happening, that's my point and the little victories are teaching me that I can change. It takes time and it is a slow process for me but I'm hoping that means it will be lasting. It would appear that an old dog can learn new tricks.
I am really just so happy to realize that I have succeeded at changing weekends into days off, instead of countdowns to Mondays starvation diet, to make up for what I consumed for three days. I counted Friday of course.
My Prayer: "Truly Lord we are works in progress, so grateful you never stop working in us. Please help us all to continue to completion no matter the goal."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Sunday, August 1, 2010
The Return of the Jedi
I've decided to look at my return to 15lbs lighter in the same manner Star Wars fans looked forward to those multiple sequels. With great enthusiam and loud rejoicing and celebrating. I'll skip the talking about the movies endlessly part. Star Wars fans are in the same 'odd obsessive' place as those Star Trek fans, my husband is one of them. I thought since people get so excited about things that are not real, that I should be overjoyed by something that is, and even though it's a rerun, ok it's a rerun, rerun, rerun, I'm still very happy to be seeing that 15lb drop...again.
Todays Question: "Is it wrong to like reruns?"
I hope not because I do...some things are worth seeing again. Some things are worth saying again and some things are worth doing again. I never get tired of the sunrise, always love the look on my granchildrens faces when they see me, get overwhelmed by the kind words so many beautiful people speak into my life, am so blessed to be so blessed every single day. I never get tired of knowing that God is for me. Can't imagine a life without the constant love of my husband, friends and family. So much of what we do is a rerun.
I know that laundry is one of those things we all get tired of, I know that dishes are the rerun of the century. I'm aware that the same jobs you did yesterday will need to be done again today. But here is something else I've noticed during the reruns, when I can't do any of the above things due to health/emotional issues, I long for them.
There is something remarkable about the same old same old. Something of great worth and value. I've been the same Jenny for years, most of my life is a rerun of the same old me, however, every once in a while I change, remarkable I know! My entire being shifts, my beleif systems, my mind sets, my what I thought I knew changes into what I now know. And that my friends keeps me going through the reruns of life. Those devine sparks of light that remind me that I am made in the image of a most Holy God. I see reruns of my life in others, I see myself and others get stuck in false mindsets, and then I see God change our minds. A new person emerges and a new life begins and it's amazing...it's liberating. And then I get stuck again...and then He changes me again...and then I get stuck again...and then He changes me again...reruns. They are great!!!
So when your Jedi returns look up...He came to change your mind. The things you hate doing you will one day long to do. All my babies via different routes have their own homes now, they have their own works, their own purposes, tasks, etc., I miss the smell of their clothes, I miss cooking for them, I miss spontaneous hugging, I miss our evening prayers and bible times...I miss so much...and then I remember this is the way God set and I press on, because so much more awaits me...if I don't get stuck in a rerun.
My Prayer: "God help us to enjoy the repeats in life, help us to see the value in constant actions of love. Remind us that You are always working on our behalf and very often watch us do the same stupid things over and over again. Thanks for loving us regardless of our tendency to be repeat offenders and thanks so much for Jesus and the fact that He paid the price once for all."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Is it wrong to like reruns?"
I hope not because I do...some things are worth seeing again. Some things are worth saying again and some things are worth doing again. I never get tired of the sunrise, always love the look on my granchildrens faces when they see me, get overwhelmed by the kind words so many beautiful people speak into my life, am so blessed to be so blessed every single day. I never get tired of knowing that God is for me. Can't imagine a life without the constant love of my husband, friends and family. So much of what we do is a rerun.
I know that laundry is one of those things we all get tired of, I know that dishes are the rerun of the century. I'm aware that the same jobs you did yesterday will need to be done again today. But here is something else I've noticed during the reruns, when I can't do any of the above things due to health/emotional issues, I long for them.
There is something remarkable about the same old same old. Something of great worth and value. I've been the same Jenny for years, most of my life is a rerun of the same old me, however, every once in a while I change, remarkable I know! My entire being shifts, my beleif systems, my mind sets, my what I thought I knew changes into what I now know. And that my friends keeps me going through the reruns of life. Those devine sparks of light that remind me that I am made in the image of a most Holy God. I see reruns of my life in others, I see myself and others get stuck in false mindsets, and then I see God change our minds. A new person emerges and a new life begins and it's amazing...it's liberating. And then I get stuck again...and then He changes me again...and then I get stuck again...and then He changes me again...reruns. They are great!!!
So when your Jedi returns look up...He came to change your mind. The things you hate doing you will one day long to do. All my babies via different routes have their own homes now, they have their own works, their own purposes, tasks, etc., I miss the smell of their clothes, I miss cooking for them, I miss spontaneous hugging, I miss our evening prayers and bible times...I miss so much...and then I remember this is the way God set and I press on, because so much more awaits me...if I don't get stuck in a rerun.
My Prayer: "God help us to enjoy the repeats in life, help us to see the value in constant actions of love. Remind us that You are always working on our behalf and very often watch us do the same stupid things over and over again. Thanks for loving us regardless of our tendency to be repeat offenders and thanks so much for Jesus and the fact that He paid the price once for all."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
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