This retailer's catch phrase has been in my mind now for about a week. I keep thinking that it's true, then it's not true, then it's true...etc. I have from time to time bought something I did not need to get a gift with purchase. In my defense I've never bought something I knew I wouldn't use just to get the gift unless I was buying a gift for someone else. For example; I bought my husband some cologne that I loved the smell of that he'd never worn before because it came with a great gift with purchase. I've also gone looking for gifts with purchase on my own perfume, sadly they rarely give them and I refuse to change for a "free" gift.
That was about the extent of my retail thoughts and then the counselor in me went right to the emotional side of that statement. I thought of the many people I've counseled over the years who tell me about the things their parents or friends give them or do for them, sounds good right, until they tell me how those things are later used as tools to manipulate them. I gave you that car so now you have to do this for me, I helped you get a loan, gave you that cell phone, bought you what you wanted for Christmas...etc., and now you owe me. I call those the, "gifts with purchase", and I mean you were given a gift that included a purchase and that purchase was you. And that is exactly how the retailers have taught us to think, buy this and you get that. I buy you a great gift, you have to get me one, I give you my time and you owe me yours. This gift with purchase mentality comes in many forms and robs us of the simple pleasure of giving....with no return.
The problem is people do not respond well to this type of gifting and they should not. I am surrounded by family and friends who truly know what it is to give a gift. I've also experienced the odd person who gives a gift with expectation and I can assure I don't want gifts from those people, sadly they are usually people we are close to. My advice to my patients is that they should let the family member or friend know that if the gifts they give come with conditions they are not gifts and should be rejected. I seriously don't want a gift from someone who sees me as their gift with purchase. Gifts from the heart are a true blessing, people who give and never expect anything in return have learned what it is to give not caring if they get anything back. It is a wonderful feeling to give to someone who can never give you anything back.
It is very difficult to see children of all ages struggle to say no to gifts with purchase from their parents, if I say no to the new car which I need so badly, I'm free of obligation, but I want that car so I'll do what they want and the car will be worth it. From my side of the couch, the price is too high and it's not worth it. Every child, no matter the age looks for unconditional love from their parents, these type of gifts do nothing to convince a child that you love them without condition, they actually prove to the child that you don't. I am not saying that giving a gift to your child and making an agreement about how they can obtain said gift is wrong, I'm saying that giving them something that you plan to later use against them is wrong...on every level. Once a gift is truly given it no longer belongs to the giver...in any way, shape or form, not even as a reminder.
The people we love should never receive a gift with purchase from us, we should always give as wonderfully to our children as God does to His. Our families, our friends and the people we give to are the gifts and in my opinion, the gift I get with every purchase is the joy of knowing I expressed my love without condition.
That was about the extent of my retail thoughts and then the counselor in me went right to the emotional side of that statement. I thought of the many people I've counseled over the years who tell me about the things their parents or friends give them or do for them, sounds good right, until they tell me how those things are later used as tools to manipulate them. I gave you that car so now you have to do this for me, I helped you get a loan, gave you that cell phone, bought you what you wanted for Christmas...etc., and now you owe me. I call those the, "gifts with purchase", and I mean you were given a gift that included a purchase and that purchase was you. And that is exactly how the retailers have taught us to think, buy this and you get that. I buy you a great gift, you have to get me one, I give you my time and you owe me yours. This gift with purchase mentality comes in many forms and robs us of the simple pleasure of giving....with no return.
The problem is people do not respond well to this type of gifting and they should not. I am surrounded by family and friends who truly know what it is to give a gift. I've also experienced the odd person who gives a gift with expectation and I can assure I don't want gifts from those people, sadly they are usually people we are close to. My advice to my patients is that they should let the family member or friend know that if the gifts they give come with conditions they are not gifts and should be rejected. I seriously don't want a gift from someone who sees me as their gift with purchase. Gifts from the heart are a true blessing, people who give and never expect anything in return have learned what it is to give not caring if they get anything back. It is a wonderful feeling to give to someone who can never give you anything back.
It is very difficult to see children of all ages struggle to say no to gifts with purchase from their parents, if I say no to the new car which I need so badly, I'm free of obligation, but I want that car so I'll do what they want and the car will be worth it. From my side of the couch, the price is too high and it's not worth it. Every child, no matter the age looks for unconditional love from their parents, these type of gifts do nothing to convince a child that you love them without condition, they actually prove to the child that you don't. I am not saying that giving a gift to your child and making an agreement about how they can obtain said gift is wrong, I'm saying that giving them something that you plan to later use against them is wrong...on every level. Once a gift is truly given it no longer belongs to the giver...in any way, shape or form, not even as a reminder.
The people we love should never receive a gift with purchase from us, we should always give as wonderfully to our children as God does to His. Our families, our friends and the people we give to are the gifts and in my opinion, the gift I get with every purchase is the joy of knowing I expressed my love without condition.
Merry Christmas
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