So happy to report that Gord has been released. They set him free a day early because the light went on in my brain this morning. We may be from another Province, which requires a four night stay, but we are staying in Toronto until Saturday and we are minutes away, so three nights required. So I went in early and we talked to the nurse, she said the Dr. had to release him. So I walked downstairs with Gord and we asked the administration secretary to tell the Dr. we'd like to see him after he was out of the Operating Room. We waited till after 4pm for him to come and the Dr. gave Gord a quick check, list of do and don'ts, and a release. When I say quick I mean after we paid our bill, then they gave him walking papers. Gord almost ran. He was very happy and he is doing very well. I guess I'm going to have to stop having chocolate almonds for a comfort snack now. Rats, what was I thinking?
Todays Question: "Why do I always use food for comfort?"
I need to find that answer and then I'll get this fifty one pounds off quickly. I was reading a book and it recommended you role play to change bad eating habits. Act like you are something/someone you want to be. So this afternoon when I left the hospital for lunch I was a tall fashion model eating my brown rice, vegetables and shrimp. By the time I left the mall a new role came up, I was an out of control chubby woman with addiction issues following her habit right to Purdy's to get six chocolate almond clusters, it was a role with such depth people. I couldn't resist.
I don't know if I'm made for role playing, I'm to fickle, I like to switch roles with a moments notice, even I don't know who I'll be by the time I'm finished. So for now I'm going to have work out my problems before I can start dealing with someone elses while role playing. I think that tall model was really a short chubby blonde girl who can ignore the voice in her head, as long as she gets what she wants.
I haven't been able to weigh and I said I wouldn't miss it and I don't. I'm feeling good, haven't gone crazy but have had a huge breakfast every morning. This bed and breakfast thing is great. I tell them what time I want to eat and then I go sit at the table and they pamper me. Candles burning, beautifully set table, silver, china, homemade everything, and great company, I could get used to this. I have been eating smaller meals for the rest of the day to make up for breakfast. It's been good to have time to do what I want, I've read, I've watched the olympics, Canada is doing so good, I've had a french manicure, shopped, etc. What fun.
All in all it's been a great adventure this hernia repair trip to Toronto. I'm sure Gord would rather I got my rests in some other way that didn't involve surgery for him, but hey, I'm just being a great wife supporting my husband. I didn't set the visiting hours from 2-4pm and 7-9pm, but it sure gave me lots of free time. I guess I needed it.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Day Two - Operated On
The surgery is done and Praise God everything went wonderfully. Gord woke up as soon as I walked in and he was moving quite quickly...to my suprise. I expected whining, pitiful moaning and groaning. I kissed him and he inisted I kiss him again. Said something about having really weird dreams from the drugs. I asked if he was dreaming I didn't come. He just smiled. I'm thinking that's a yes. Please note I'd have been there for every moment but those bossy nurses have rules. No visitors until 2pm, his surgery was at 11:30...he was back in his room in an hour. He was sleeping and peaceful when I arrived so I didn't have to take out any nurses for not letting me be with my husband. I can be violent, especially when it comes to protecting the people I love. Bit of a mother bear with her cubs.
I have to confess that I didn't buy him flowers, I was going too but then I saw the maple cookies...his fave...and the jalepeno Miss Vickis, the peppermints, the licorice allsorts, and the honey dipped peanuts. I had to buy them for him. The poor man was starving...remember. He was so happy when he saw the bag of goodies I bought him...suprised he didn't have a heart attack form the shock of getting that much junk from me all at once. The man in the bed beside him was pretty excited too, he actually dieted. Gord shared, I was so proud of him. Totally outside of his box to share his goodies....I think it was the drugs. By the time I left he was talking about putting his treats under lock and key. Drugs wearing off and things returning to normal.
I want you to know that I thought he'd eat those treats tomorrow after the mild anesthetic he was given wore off. Nope...he saw the cookies...ate four. Needed me to open the chips, needed some allsorts and loves the new peanuts. He didn't eat any peppermints...the man has such control. He was a very happy man after he finished the ginger-ale I had to get for him and his roommate. Now both the patients were full of goodies and ready for sleep, Gord will call me tonight before I'm allowed back at 7pm. He is concerned because the supper last night was a quiche and a salad, he thought that was the appetizer, he was rather concerned that tonights supper might be the same. He told me he'd call me and I may need to bring him a sub. He's definetly not over the "dieting" yet.
I want to thank you my friends for your prayers, I feel so blessed and I know Gord does too to have praying friends who love us and support us when we need it...and...even when we don't. We are blessed beyond measure and grateful to God for our family and our friends. I love that man and I'm so grateful God answered all our prayers. I mean really...where would I get material like Gord gives me for my blog. He is the joy, the frustration, the irritant, the best blessing, my best friend, makes me madder than anyone else can and makes me happier too, spoils me rotten and keeps me real. He's amazing and I feel priveledged to call him my husband.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
I am so GRATEFUL. :)
I have to confess that I didn't buy him flowers, I was going too but then I saw the maple cookies...his fave...and the jalepeno Miss Vickis, the peppermints, the licorice allsorts, and the honey dipped peanuts. I had to buy them for him. The poor man was starving...remember. He was so happy when he saw the bag of goodies I bought him...suprised he didn't have a heart attack form the shock of getting that much junk from me all at once. The man in the bed beside him was pretty excited too, he actually dieted. Gord shared, I was so proud of him. Totally outside of his box to share his goodies....I think it was the drugs. By the time I left he was talking about putting his treats under lock and key. Drugs wearing off and things returning to normal.
I want you to know that I thought he'd eat those treats tomorrow after the mild anesthetic he was given wore off. Nope...he saw the cookies...ate four. Needed me to open the chips, needed some allsorts and loves the new peanuts. He didn't eat any peppermints...the man has such control. He was a very happy man after he finished the ginger-ale I had to get for him and his roommate. Now both the patients were full of goodies and ready for sleep, Gord will call me tonight before I'm allowed back at 7pm. He is concerned because the supper last night was a quiche and a salad, he thought that was the appetizer, he was rather concerned that tonights supper might be the same. He told me he'd call me and I may need to bring him a sub. He's definetly not over the "dieting" yet.
I want to thank you my friends for your prayers, I feel so blessed and I know Gord does too to have praying friends who love us and support us when we need it...and...even when we don't. We are blessed beyond measure and grateful to God for our family and our friends. I love that man and I'm so grateful God answered all our prayers. I mean really...where would I get material like Gord gives me for my blog. He is the joy, the frustration, the irritant, the best blessing, my best friend, makes me madder than anyone else can and makes me happier too, spoils me rotten and keeps me real. He's amazing and I feel priveledged to call him my husband.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
I am so GRATEFUL. :)
Monday, February 22, 2010
Day One - Checked In
I feel inclined to share this journey of my husbands, whether he likes it or not. I did tell him, it was the least I could do, that he would be the focus of my blog for a day or so. He said with a smile. "You are not writing about that." We will get to the "that."
Todays Question: "Do you ever meet people who think they are suffering but really have no clue?"
I do. The one I'm referrring to is of course my husband. So...a few months ago we found out Gord had an inquenal hernia. Too much lifting from the hardwood floor rennos at our home. (Not the Farmhouse.) We decided to go alternative surgery to Toronto. Long story short Gord was told to lose fifteen pounds. Let me just add here, if I had a hernia and they said lose fifteen pounds I'd say praise ye the Lord. The weight was based on the BMI, Gord was 15 pounds over. Easy breezy. Not for Gord. So did he diet? Lets just go with a resounding...NO! He did lose 10 pounds quickly but trust me it had nothing to do with what he was eating and everything to do with all the rennos at the farmhouse. The last five pounds he assured me he would lose on his own. Wasn't my problem he said. What attitude. So I left him to himself, well as much as a wife can. I do enjoy pointing out the obvious. Like it's not a diet Gord if you eat crab/lobster/cream stuffed salmon with roasted potatoes and a well dressed Ceasar salad, instead of prime rib. Ha! Isn't he funny. That was his meal on Friday night, he had to weigh at the hospital in Toronto Monday morning. Please note he was watching what he ate. Did I mention that for lunch that same day he had mussells in cream sauce with yummy bread to dip in that sauce. Seriously people...the man is watching what he eats.
Onto Saturday, now he's getting serious. Breakfast at A&W, sausage and egg muffin, plus half of a ham and egg muffin. Lunch, I really can't remember, but supper...the man sacrificed. He had the salad bar at West Edmonton Malls Cafe Europa. Some cheese with tomotaoes and fresh basil. Some chicken, peel and eat shrimp, salad, bean and spourt, some more cheese with tomatoes, he really liked those. Etc., I can't even remember all that was on both plates he ate, oh wait two bowls of soup. No popcorn at the movie with our grandson because Josh and I decided Grandpa would not be able to resist. We are smart like that.
Sunday morning, we were getting ready to leave. Gord pronounces that he will be fasting to ensure he's lost the last five pounds needed for surgery. I get up he's eating an orange. I said I thought you were fasting dear. He assures me it's fine he needed an orange to take his pills. The kids come over to say goodbye to their dad before he goes to Toronto, they have lunch. Gord has tomato soup...two bowls. It's liguid...seriously. We get to the airport and he's looking at food like a man who has gone for weeks without a meal. So pitiful. I tell him he could have a salad. So I order soup and salad and he eats all the salad and half of my soup. Please know that he really thinks he's watched what he's eaten and dieted. I find that hilarious.
Monday morning and we are in Toronto, Gord has to weigh. So I go down for breakfast and he comes down for coffee and has a bowl of fruit. Now for the really riduculous part. He weighs...no surprise for me the five pounds is not gone but the Dr. gives him the okay in spite of his obesity. Can you imagine fellow weight watchers, five pounds overweight. That's not overweight that's a fraction of the fat at the bottom of my left calf. Seriously.
So now the handsome man who I love with all my heart has passed the tests and is free to eat. So lets talk gluttony shall we. He immediately goes to the little store and buys an egg salad sandwich, eats that and then says he's starving, you know he was fasting people, so he gets a huge cinamon bun and eats that, less the two little bites he allowed me to have. Then we get him to his room and he needs to go the cafeteria, the nurse said something about lunch. I have to ask, what was that sandwich and cinamon bun? Please remember he tells me often, "I'm starving." H really beleives that. I'm like why, you haven't been dieting and your fast was at best a little lighter meal day. He smiles. So I watch him eat another egg salad sandwich and a bowl of soup. Oh I'm so hungry he declares with great conviction holding his tummy. A lady drops off someone elses bowl of soup and Gord is hoping she's bringing it to him. So he asks if he could get another sandwich. I tell her the man is starving. So she very nicely brings him a ham and cheese. Hello...three sandwiches, a bowl of soup and a cinamon bun. Oh I add the four breaksticks he ate waiting...for what...I don't know...the basket of breaksticks was sitting there. Isn't he funny. I tell you the odds of me ever dropping a pound, if I had Gord's mentality as to what "dieting" was, would be as rare as me finding out I won the lottery five times while flying around on my magic dragon in a super hero bikini suit and cape looking fabulous. Not bloody likely as the English would say.
So that has been day one...checked in and all Gord has been doing since he passed the weight test is checking out the food. Oh I forgot to mention the rolo ice-cream bar he shared with me...I'm certain I had at least a quarter of it. Isn't he sweet. He was really looking forward to supper when I left.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Do you ever meet people who think they are suffering but really have no clue?"
I do. The one I'm referrring to is of course my husband. So...a few months ago we found out Gord had an inquenal hernia. Too much lifting from the hardwood floor rennos at our home. (Not the Farmhouse.) We decided to go alternative surgery to Toronto. Long story short Gord was told to lose fifteen pounds. Let me just add here, if I had a hernia and they said lose fifteen pounds I'd say praise ye the Lord. The weight was based on the BMI, Gord was 15 pounds over. Easy breezy. Not for Gord. So did he diet? Lets just go with a resounding...NO! He did lose 10 pounds quickly but trust me it had nothing to do with what he was eating and everything to do with all the rennos at the farmhouse. The last five pounds he assured me he would lose on his own. Wasn't my problem he said. What attitude. So I left him to himself, well as much as a wife can. I do enjoy pointing out the obvious. Like it's not a diet Gord if you eat crab/lobster/cream stuffed salmon with roasted potatoes and a well dressed Ceasar salad, instead of prime rib. Ha! Isn't he funny. That was his meal on Friday night, he had to weigh at the hospital in Toronto Monday morning. Please note he was watching what he ate. Did I mention that for lunch that same day he had mussells in cream sauce with yummy bread to dip in that sauce. Seriously people...the man is watching what he eats.
Onto Saturday, now he's getting serious. Breakfast at A&W, sausage and egg muffin, plus half of a ham and egg muffin. Lunch, I really can't remember, but supper...the man sacrificed. He had the salad bar at West Edmonton Malls Cafe Europa. Some cheese with tomotaoes and fresh basil. Some chicken, peel and eat shrimp, salad, bean and spourt, some more cheese with tomatoes, he really liked those. Etc., I can't even remember all that was on both plates he ate, oh wait two bowls of soup. No popcorn at the movie with our grandson because Josh and I decided Grandpa would not be able to resist. We are smart like that.
Sunday morning, we were getting ready to leave. Gord pronounces that he will be fasting to ensure he's lost the last five pounds needed for surgery. I get up he's eating an orange. I said I thought you were fasting dear. He assures me it's fine he needed an orange to take his pills. The kids come over to say goodbye to their dad before he goes to Toronto, they have lunch. Gord has tomato soup...two bowls. It's liguid...seriously. We get to the airport and he's looking at food like a man who has gone for weeks without a meal. So pitiful. I tell him he could have a salad. So I order soup and salad and he eats all the salad and half of my soup. Please know that he really thinks he's watched what he's eaten and dieted. I find that hilarious.
Monday morning and we are in Toronto, Gord has to weigh. So I go down for breakfast and he comes down for coffee and has a bowl of fruit. Now for the really riduculous part. He weighs...no surprise for me the five pounds is not gone but the Dr. gives him the okay in spite of his obesity. Can you imagine fellow weight watchers, five pounds overweight. That's not overweight that's a fraction of the fat at the bottom of my left calf. Seriously.
So now the handsome man who I love with all my heart has passed the tests and is free to eat. So lets talk gluttony shall we. He immediately goes to the little store and buys an egg salad sandwich, eats that and then says he's starving, you know he was fasting people, so he gets a huge cinamon bun and eats that, less the two little bites he allowed me to have. Then we get him to his room and he needs to go the cafeteria, the nurse said something about lunch. I have to ask, what was that sandwich and cinamon bun? Please remember he tells me often, "I'm starving." H really beleives that. I'm like why, you haven't been dieting and your fast was at best a little lighter meal day. He smiles. So I watch him eat another egg salad sandwich and a bowl of soup. Oh I'm so hungry he declares with great conviction holding his tummy. A lady drops off someone elses bowl of soup and Gord is hoping she's bringing it to him. So he asks if he could get another sandwich. I tell her the man is starving. So she very nicely brings him a ham and cheese. Hello...three sandwiches, a bowl of soup and a cinamon bun. Oh I add the four breaksticks he ate waiting...for what...I don't know...the basket of breaksticks was sitting there. Isn't he funny. I tell you the odds of me ever dropping a pound, if I had Gord's mentality as to what "dieting" was, would be as rare as me finding out I won the lottery five times while flying around on my magic dragon in a super hero bikini suit and cape looking fabulous. Not bloody likely as the English would say.
So that has been day one...checked in and all Gord has been doing since he passed the weight test is checking out the food. Oh I forgot to mention the rolo ice-cream bar he shared with me...I'm certain I had at least a quarter of it. Isn't he sweet. He was really looking forward to supper when I left.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Chocolate Dippped Comfort
Yesterdays battles are todays posts, that's my new lesson learned. I wish I was writing that I stopped myself from having the chocolate dipped cone from the Dairy Queen, I didn't but I do know exactly what I was doing and why.
Todays Question: So what do you do when the self-talk does not go in your favor and you are in charge of the self...and the talk for that matter?
I'm fully aware of why I'm eating...STRESS. No question I'm a little anxious about my husbands upcoming surgery. It's going to happen on Tuesday, we check him into the hospital on Monday. I don't like things outside of my control and so I'm desperately trying to control everything I can. You would think that after the chocolate cone confession that I'm out of control. Not! I knew excactly what I was doing, had a whole conversation with myself before during and after that cone. Didn't care. Boy do I have attitude.
I was going to get a small dipped cone and then I showed my mind...I ordered a medium. Every last bite was spectacular. I want you to know I didn't completely lose it, I was staring at the menu in that zoned out state, thinking I should order a burger and some onion rings. Snap, I settled for the med cone. There remains hope for this stressed-out/emotional eating maniac.
I am not going to weigh for the next week, will be in Toronto with my husband so no scale. Rats! Did that seem sincere? I hope not because I'm not going to miss that scale. I didn't weigh this morning because I knew I'd be up, it's not because of the cone, I'm once again swollen from the back to back flights so I'll be weighing a day or two after we get back.
I will be writing, not sure about how often. I plan to take this time away and use it to do some self-analyzing. I'll let you know how that goes. I'm sensing a need to look a little deeper...it seems to be time for me to do some soul searching. Praying God goes ahead of us and prepares our way, Gords physical needs and my internal ones are the priorities for this week.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: So what do you do when the self-talk does not go in your favor and you are in charge of the self...and the talk for that matter?
I'm fully aware of why I'm eating...STRESS. No question I'm a little anxious about my husbands upcoming surgery. It's going to happen on Tuesday, we check him into the hospital on Monday. I don't like things outside of my control and so I'm desperately trying to control everything I can. You would think that after the chocolate cone confession that I'm out of control. Not! I knew excactly what I was doing, had a whole conversation with myself before during and after that cone. Didn't care. Boy do I have attitude.
I was going to get a small dipped cone and then I showed my mind...I ordered a medium. Every last bite was spectacular. I want you to know I didn't completely lose it, I was staring at the menu in that zoned out state, thinking I should order a burger and some onion rings. Snap, I settled for the med cone. There remains hope for this stressed-out/emotional eating maniac.
I am not going to weigh for the next week, will be in Toronto with my husband so no scale. Rats! Did that seem sincere? I hope not because I'm not going to miss that scale. I didn't weigh this morning because I knew I'd be up, it's not because of the cone, I'm once again swollen from the back to back flights so I'll be weighing a day or two after we get back.
I will be writing, not sure about how often. I plan to take this time away and use it to do some self-analyzing. I'll let you know how that goes. I'm sensing a need to look a little deeper...it seems to be time for me to do some soul searching. Praying God goes ahead of us and prepares our way, Gords physical needs and my internal ones are the priorities for this week.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Flying Again
This morning I leave for Chilliwack via Abbotsford and although I love the fact that I'll be there in an hour, I'm not to excited about the flying. Not at all because I'm afraid to fly, I just really dont' want my body to swell up again and flying is the worst for that. If you have any tips for how not to have your legs swell I'd appreciate them. I already know to drink lots of water and get up and move around as much as possible. I'm looking for a miracle cure here people.
Todays Question: "Do you love going places but seriously dislike the journey?"
I do and I'm beginning to see how that spills over into so many aspects of my life. I love to see new places, like Africa, Holland, Egypt, the Ukraine etc. I've been so blessed to have travelled so much, did I mention Paris and London, for goodness sake Lucie how'd I forget to mention those. Most of you know I run a Missionary Organization and part of my job description is traveling to see the works our missionaries do. It has been amazing to see how God moves all around the world. Okay, I've hardly been a quarter of the way around the world. My point is; I love to see the places and I HATE the travel. Not about fear but all about discomfort. I always swell, I always feel trapped and I always want to yell screaming out the door of the plane after a few hours. I'm way better on the short trips but those 36 hour flights make me want to hurt someone or something. I have had to self-talk myself into a more relaxed state on many flights. Plans to take over the plane and land it on a mountain have formed, I told you...I get crazy. Thankfully I get to plan when I see our missionaries so I give myself a few years between big trips.
I want you to know that many of those trips have been hard, the work and the need is great, the finances are usually not. I can't tell you how blessed we are to be Canadians and to live in a place where we are protected, cared for and fed. Our expectations are high and trips to third world countries have taught me to be very grateful. I got side-tracked again didn't I? I really need to focus this morning, my mind is racing. I need to and will endeavour to start enjoying the journey fully, not just in part. I keep learning the same lessons and the application of those lessons is the problem. Patience is the one word that has comes up the most as I work to make the necessary changes to obtain a healthier and more fit body. It would appear that the reason I don't like to travel is because it takes too long. I like arriving....and that my freinds is my problem. Skinny Jenny Non-Fat 110 Degrees of Hotness French Vanilla Soy Milk Latte please. Oh...and do not keep me waiting thank you very much. I WANT IT NOW!
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Do you love going places but seriously dislike the journey?"
I do and I'm beginning to see how that spills over into so many aspects of my life. I love to see new places, like Africa, Holland, Egypt, the Ukraine etc. I've been so blessed to have travelled so much, did I mention Paris and London, for goodness sake Lucie how'd I forget to mention those. Most of you know I run a Missionary Organization and part of my job description is traveling to see the works our missionaries do. It has been amazing to see how God moves all around the world. Okay, I've hardly been a quarter of the way around the world. My point is; I love to see the places and I HATE the travel. Not about fear but all about discomfort. I always swell, I always feel trapped and I always want to yell screaming out the door of the plane after a few hours. I'm way better on the short trips but those 36 hour flights make me want to hurt someone or something. I have had to self-talk myself into a more relaxed state on many flights. Plans to take over the plane and land it on a mountain have formed, I told you...I get crazy. Thankfully I get to plan when I see our missionaries so I give myself a few years between big trips.
I want you to know that many of those trips have been hard, the work and the need is great, the finances are usually not. I can't tell you how blessed we are to be Canadians and to live in a place where we are protected, cared for and fed. Our expectations are high and trips to third world countries have taught me to be very grateful. I got side-tracked again didn't I? I really need to focus this morning, my mind is racing. I need to and will endeavour to start enjoying the journey fully, not just in part. I keep learning the same lessons and the application of those lessons is the problem. Patience is the one word that has comes up the most as I work to make the necessary changes to obtain a healthier and more fit body. It would appear that the reason I don't like to travel is because it takes too long. I like arriving....and that my freinds is my problem. Skinny Jenny Non-Fat 110 Degrees of Hotness French Vanilla Soy Milk Latte please. Oh...and do not keep me waiting thank you very much. I WANT IT NOW!
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Pants I Couldn't Wear
Yesterday I wore a pair of jeans that I haven't been able to do up the last two buttons on since I stole them from my husband years ago. I know thou shalt not steal but he does not like button fly so yoink, mine now. I love everything about those jeans especially that they are his. Now I like them even more because I don't have to tuck those last two buttons in when I wear them with a baggier shirt. You would be surprised by the things those of us who struggle with weight do to look decent.
Todays Question: "Do you feel fatter when you change sizes or wear things you haven't been able to wear for years?"
I do. I was driving home from supper out last night and I felt very uncomfortable in those newly done up jeans. I had a salad for dinner not a pound of pasta so I knew it wasn't about what I ate. I realized as I drove, wanting to undo that top button, that changing sizes was the problem. Now that I can do up all these old jeans, I couldn't bring the buttons or the zippers together on before, I'm feeling fatter. I'm obviously not fatter but I was surprised that I felt fatter. I was thinking that I should just stay in those loose comfortable jeans that are baggy in the butt and the gut. I feel so much slimer in those now. No circulation issues, as in I cut it off. No roll that has shrunk but now looks bigger in tighter jeans. What is up with those pants I couldn't wear? I couldn't wait to fit into them before I was 14 pounds lighter. Now I'm in them and they make me feel fat.
Once again the complex nature of the female mind baffles me. I wonder if a person of the female gender ever feels completely fabulous for an entire day about how she looks and feels. I tell you ladies I would love to stand in a mirror with my pot belly stickin out and tell my significant other how hot I am. I know men who do that. No matter how big they get or what kind of shape they are in so many men, not all, are able to see themselves in a way that only they can. It is weird and yes...I am jealous. They seem to have missed that whole I'm so fat and yucky gene.
I am happy that I can wear jeans I haven't worn in a long time, sizes I haven't visited for years and shirts that begged me not to wear them in the past for fear of ripping. I'm glad that I feel better in all my clothes, even my coats are more comfortable. I also missed the gene that blames the dryer for shrinking jeans and shirts that have been washed a hundred times, that's my husband favorite reason for tight clothes. Men are so delusional at times. I truly love that about them.
I'm learning from the slow nature of this journey to drop fifty one pounds that I have never been happy with my body, even when I was my skinniest. I've had moments when I've felt really good about how slim I was and then someone or something reminded me I could still lose more. That translates into the message that is in so many of our heads, we could always look better. What a stupid message. I plan to change the message in my head one day at a time, I will to accept that I look good regardless of what others, including myself, think. Not because I'm flawless but because I'm human, not perfect but loved without condition. If God loves me so much, and He does, why shouldn't I?
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Do you feel fatter when you change sizes or wear things you haven't been able to wear for years?"
I do. I was driving home from supper out last night and I felt very uncomfortable in those newly done up jeans. I had a salad for dinner not a pound of pasta so I knew it wasn't about what I ate. I realized as I drove, wanting to undo that top button, that changing sizes was the problem. Now that I can do up all these old jeans, I couldn't bring the buttons or the zippers together on before, I'm feeling fatter. I'm obviously not fatter but I was surprised that I felt fatter. I was thinking that I should just stay in those loose comfortable jeans that are baggy in the butt and the gut. I feel so much slimer in those now. No circulation issues, as in I cut it off. No roll that has shrunk but now looks bigger in tighter jeans. What is up with those pants I couldn't wear? I couldn't wait to fit into them before I was 14 pounds lighter. Now I'm in them and they make me feel fat.
Once again the complex nature of the female mind baffles me. I wonder if a person of the female gender ever feels completely fabulous for an entire day about how she looks and feels. I tell you ladies I would love to stand in a mirror with my pot belly stickin out and tell my significant other how hot I am. I know men who do that. No matter how big they get or what kind of shape they are in so many men, not all, are able to see themselves in a way that only they can. It is weird and yes...I am jealous. They seem to have missed that whole I'm so fat and yucky gene.
I am happy that I can wear jeans I haven't worn in a long time, sizes I haven't visited for years and shirts that begged me not to wear them in the past for fear of ripping. I'm glad that I feel better in all my clothes, even my coats are more comfortable. I also missed the gene that blames the dryer for shrinking jeans and shirts that have been washed a hundred times, that's my husband favorite reason for tight clothes. Men are so delusional at times. I truly love that about them.
I'm learning from the slow nature of this journey to drop fifty one pounds that I have never been happy with my body, even when I was my skinniest. I've had moments when I've felt really good about how slim I was and then someone or something reminded me I could still lose more. That translates into the message that is in so many of our heads, we could always look better. What a stupid message. I plan to change the message in my head one day at a time, I will to accept that I look good regardless of what others, including myself, think. Not because I'm flawless but because I'm human, not perfect but loved without condition. If God loves me so much, and He does, why shouldn't I?
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tessa Was Right - Blasted Edema
Oh I'm so happy to report that my daughter is brilliant, I knew she was but because it had to do with my weight I was doubtful. So sorry pretty girl. I am down fourteen pounds once again and apparentley we will not be weighing in after vacations for a least one water filled day...when I say we...I mean me. Please note this is a new rule.
Todays Question: "Do you like it as much as I do when you see the results you worked hard for?"
Yes indeed. That's my answer. I'm doing this to see results and to drop fifty one pounds, eat better, feel better and be healthier. I have a plan, a method of attack, a goal and most of the time it feels good to be taking action. On those days when it does not feel so good, the methods are failing and the fat lady is in no mood to sing, I'll press on.
For those of you who remember my first post, the one about me wondering who the fat lady was in the mirror image, in bed with my husband, I was once again face to face with that lady and I have to say that she's starting to look a little more like me. I may not have dramatic numbers to report but I am seeing changes and I'm so glad for that. My reflection did not scare the beejeebers out of me this weekend and I was pleasantly surprised shopping for clothes, I can now wear shirts that don't have the letter X on the tag. I suppose if my name was Malcolm I wouldn't mind that, since it's not I find it kinda of offensive. I mean does 1X really sound better than 18? Ooops my bad, it does. Good thing I'm not in marketing.
So, it's a new day and although the fog is present outside it has cleared from my mind. I truly can..."do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Yesterday's water retention has taught me that I don't have to eat when things don't go as planned. In fact, I hope your sitting because this is shocking, not jumping into a bag of potato chips to drown my sorrows was so much better. I faced the problem head on, grabbed my water bottle and ate sensibly like I had been all weekend. It would appear that my water gain added something other than weight...some wisdom...I find I always need that.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Do you like it as much as I do when you see the results you worked hard for?"
Yes indeed. That's my answer. I'm doing this to see results and to drop fifty one pounds, eat better, feel better and be healthier. I have a plan, a method of attack, a goal and most of the time it feels good to be taking action. On those days when it does not feel so good, the methods are failing and the fat lady is in no mood to sing, I'll press on.
For those of you who remember my first post, the one about me wondering who the fat lady was in the mirror image, in bed with my husband, I was once again face to face with that lady and I have to say that she's starting to look a little more like me. I may not have dramatic numbers to report but I am seeing changes and I'm so glad for that. My reflection did not scare the beejeebers out of me this weekend and I was pleasantly surprised shopping for clothes, I can now wear shirts that don't have the letter X on the tag. I suppose if my name was Malcolm I wouldn't mind that, since it's not I find it kinda of offensive. I mean does 1X really sound better than 18? Ooops my bad, it does. Good thing I'm not in marketing.
So, it's a new day and although the fog is present outside it has cleared from my mind. I truly can..."do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Yesterday's water retention has taught me that I don't have to eat when things don't go as planned. In fact, I hope your sitting because this is shocking, not jumping into a bag of potato chips to drown my sorrows was so much better. I faced the problem head on, grabbed my water bottle and ate sensibly like I had been all weekend. It would appear that my water gain added something other than weight...some wisdom...I find I always need that.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I Won't Scream
It's taking a lot of effort to post since stepping on the scale this morning. (Putting computer down....I'm back.) I had to go weigh and see if it changed in the 10 minutes since I stepped on it last. I'm sad to say it didn't and I add to my sadness irritation and a little agitation. I had the first successful long weekend in the history of my life, with regards to how I ate. I did not eat way too much, over-indulge because it was Valentines Day, or sit on my butt all weekend. I have gained three pounds and I cannot figure out why...so...I'm going to listen to my daughter, who told me last time I gained weight after a long weekend away, that it was my edema that caused the gain. I understood gaining weight after that weeekend...trust me. This one however is a whole different story. Maybe the hours of sitting and that salty little bag of pretzels...done me in. I'm going to test Tessa's theory and see if this weight is off by tomorrow...if it's not I'm going to throw something and then I'm going to scream.
Todays Question: "Are you okay with getting what you don't deserve?"
I'm not. I know that life brings alot of things we don't deserve but sometimes when I've done the work, made the effort and good choices, I expect results. Good ones. Silly me. I'm going to try to stay positive because I surprised myself this long weekend and I haven't done that in a while. I learned that I can control myself. I also learned that just because it's a holiday does not mean I vacate the premises that is my mind. I stayed focused this weekend, asked God for help and I got it. Did not buy stupid things, did not go to the Invermere bakery and eat a half dozen Snickerdoodle cookies. For Valentines Day I had a small dipped cone and two sours. Those were my treats and I ate them happily and never felt stuffed or over fed once. Remarkable isn't it. I also managed to get some exercise thanks to Tessa and her Wii Dance Party. A person should play that game once a day, being in shape would not be a issue.
So...the old me would now eat like a piggy to teach my body a lesson. The new me is going to see what tomorrow brings forth. I'll wait and see if my legs have once again retained fluid, wait and see if a good day of lots of liguids, in the water form, flushes my system and puts me back to my 14 pounds lighter weight. I am not going to react to this news, I'm going to wait. I'll probably weigh ten times from now until tomorrow, I can be a little obsessive, but climbing the stairs is good exercise so it works.
Here is to tomorrows weigh in....just drank half a bottle of water. I'm celebrating how well I did this weekend in spite of that stupid scale.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Are you okay with getting what you don't deserve?"
I'm not. I know that life brings alot of things we don't deserve but sometimes when I've done the work, made the effort and good choices, I expect results. Good ones. Silly me. I'm going to try to stay positive because I surprised myself this long weekend and I haven't done that in a while. I learned that I can control myself. I also learned that just because it's a holiday does not mean I vacate the premises that is my mind. I stayed focused this weekend, asked God for help and I got it. Did not buy stupid things, did not go to the Invermere bakery and eat a half dozen Snickerdoodle cookies. For Valentines Day I had a small dipped cone and two sours. Those were my treats and I ate them happily and never felt stuffed or over fed once. Remarkable isn't it. I also managed to get some exercise thanks to Tessa and her Wii Dance Party. A person should play that game once a day, being in shape would not be a issue.
So...the old me would now eat like a piggy to teach my body a lesson. The new me is going to see what tomorrow brings forth. I'll wait and see if my legs have once again retained fluid, wait and see if a good day of lots of liguids, in the water form, flushes my system and puts me back to my 14 pounds lighter weight. I am not going to react to this news, I'm going to wait. I'll probably weigh ten times from now until tomorrow, I can be a little obsessive, but climbing the stairs is good exercise so it works.
Here is to tomorrows weigh in....just drank half a bottle of water. I'm celebrating how well I did this weekend in spite of that stupid scale.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
What Love Isn't
I didn't want to make the obvious list of what love is on Valentines Day, I'd rather state what isn't. I'm weird like that. Let me first say Happy Valentines Day to you all and I pray that you would know all kinds of love and never restrict that to just the love between couples. Love is not bound or limited in any way...thank God.
Todays Question: "Do you feel like you are more loved on Valentines Day than any other day of the week?"
I sure don't and I hope you don't either. I note one difference as a married woman, my husband always says, "Happy Valentines Day sweetheart." Then he kisses me and says; "I don't have a mustache to kiss you with anymore." Our first kiss was 31 years ago on Valentines Day and he'd just come in from outside and the mustache he had then was a little frozen. I'm sure love isn't repeating yourself for me but I'm equally as sure it is for Gord.
Aside from that comment, the kiss, gifts a card or whatever Gord does from Valentines Day to Valentines Day, I find that the day feels no different. I no longer need him to make such a big fuss about the day because I have learned that love isn't about what he does on one day but about what he does all year long.
Love could never be fully expressed in one day. I also know that love isn't gifts, cards, flowers, chocolates (it was a little hard to write that one) or even fabulous vacations. I like all those things but they are not love.
Love isn't giving something material to get something back. Do you remember those Valentines cards everyone gave out in school. It was a contest to see who got the most, no one called it that but that's how I saw it. I got lots of cards but I always felt sorry for the people who only got the one the teacher gave out. It made me feel so sad for them. When my kids came along I made sure I bought them enough cards to give to everyone in their class. We can and should teach our kids to think about others. I wonder if elementary school is where the programming for Valentines Day began. Way too many kids felt left out on Valentines Day and way too many men and women who don't have a significant other feel left out now. Love isn't leaving people out or making them feel less important on any day of the week.
Don't get me wrong I'm not a Valentines Day hater, I just wish that we could express our love to everyone in equal measure. It's not a day for couples it's a day for lovers and I'm a lover of so many people. Love isn't restricted to husbands or children, or friends for that matter. I love Gods creation, I love horses, I love sunshine, clouds, rain, snow, cold (I'm an Albertan), I love condos in the moutains and farmhouses, etc. I'm a lover people.
So today lets celebrate Valentines Day for what it isn't. It isn't a day for some...it is a day for all. We are all loved and all valued. God is love and I pray we would all learn to love like He does...perfectly and without condition.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Do you feel like you are more loved on Valentines Day than any other day of the week?"
I sure don't and I hope you don't either. I note one difference as a married woman, my husband always says, "Happy Valentines Day sweetheart." Then he kisses me and says; "I don't have a mustache to kiss you with anymore." Our first kiss was 31 years ago on Valentines Day and he'd just come in from outside and the mustache he had then was a little frozen. I'm sure love isn't repeating yourself for me but I'm equally as sure it is for Gord.
Aside from that comment, the kiss, gifts a card or whatever Gord does from Valentines Day to Valentines Day, I find that the day feels no different. I no longer need him to make such a big fuss about the day because I have learned that love isn't about what he does on one day but about what he does all year long.
Love could never be fully expressed in one day. I also know that love isn't gifts, cards, flowers, chocolates (it was a little hard to write that one) or even fabulous vacations. I like all those things but they are not love.
Love isn't giving something material to get something back. Do you remember those Valentines cards everyone gave out in school. It was a contest to see who got the most, no one called it that but that's how I saw it. I got lots of cards but I always felt sorry for the people who only got the one the teacher gave out. It made me feel so sad for them. When my kids came along I made sure I bought them enough cards to give to everyone in their class. We can and should teach our kids to think about others. I wonder if elementary school is where the programming for Valentines Day began. Way too many kids felt left out on Valentines Day and way too many men and women who don't have a significant other feel left out now. Love isn't leaving people out or making them feel less important on any day of the week.
Don't get me wrong I'm not a Valentines Day hater, I just wish that we could express our love to everyone in equal measure. It's not a day for couples it's a day for lovers and I'm a lover of so many people. Love isn't restricted to husbands or children, or friends for that matter. I love Gods creation, I love horses, I love sunshine, clouds, rain, snow, cold (I'm an Albertan), I love condos in the moutains and farmhouses, etc. I'm a lover people.
So today lets celebrate Valentines Day for what it isn't. It isn't a day for some...it is a day for all. We are all loved and all valued. God is love and I pray we would all learn to love like He does...perfectly and without condition.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Fabulous Friday
I love Friday and I know so many of you share that joy with me. I actually love every day of the week because they are coming whether I like it or not so I might as well enjoy them. I am baffled by how fast a week goes by and even more amazed at how the years slip past. I remember my mom telling me when my kids were little that I would turn around and they'd be grown so I should enjoy them while they were little. I had Calvin and Tessa both in diapers at the time and Darren and Scott living with us, add Gord being out of town for most of our 26 years, and you'll understand why I didn't beleive her. For those of you who know Gord and I have been together for 31 years, he's been home now every night for the last 3 plus. There were times when Gord had a job here and there that brought him for a few months or so, but for the most part it was me and the kids going whereever he was to visit. It was interesting and challenging but I'm sure that's why I have such adventurous kids. They learned to travel lots and well. Gordon Jr. was more like his mom, we like home, but just like I travel now for reasons other than me, I travelled then so the kids and I would get to spend more time with Gord. It was always fun once we got to him.
I am feeling very reflective this morning and I find myself amazed at how fast time flies. I remember being 12 and feeling like it took forever to get to 13, 14 took too long because I wanted my learners permit, 15 dragged by while I waited for 16 and a drivers license. I'm telling you it felt like forever to finish grade 12 and turn 18 so I could vote, be considered an adult and even drink, wasn't a fan of drinking but wanted to be able to go anywhere I wanted. Once I hit 20 the looking forward to getting a year older seemed to pass, I've never minded aging, you just stop waiting and maybe that's why life seems to zip by after 20, you stop waiting for the landmark years and start dreading them instead. I can honestly tell you that I've never minded growing older, I really do feel like I get a little wiser every year and since I had such a shortage of wisdom I guess looking forward to gaining it interested me.
Todays Question: "Do you see every year as a gift and the potential for growth?"
I know way too many people who don't and it makes me sad. Life was meant to be savoured and lived, you can't have it both ways, either you die, which I'm also looking forward to, and stop the aging process or you live and age. So what? I mean so what if we have wrinkles and our skin gets a little loose, we are merely learning to relax. So what if there are younger and prettier people in the world, trust me on this one, there always has been. So what if your bones ache a little, at least you know you have them. I never even thought about my bones when I was young. So what if I don't move as fast as I used to, I'm taking more time to smell the roses. So what if my bra has more work to do now than it ever did, it's finally earning the big bucks I had to spend to get it. So what if the thought of a thong makes me cringe, I don't have to be that cool I'm going for comfort people. I refuse to sacrifice this wonderful gift of life God has given me for the complaint department. I want to grow old with grace and I want to die to live forever in that same grace and thanks to God I will.
So, rejoice my friends, life is short no matter the number attached to you when you die. Thanks to Jesus you'll live happily ever after regardless of how long you thought you were living. I think life truly begins when you die and I always will. I will to enjoy all!
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
I am feeling very reflective this morning and I find myself amazed at how fast time flies. I remember being 12 and feeling like it took forever to get to 13, 14 took too long because I wanted my learners permit, 15 dragged by while I waited for 16 and a drivers license. I'm telling you it felt like forever to finish grade 12 and turn 18 so I could vote, be considered an adult and even drink, wasn't a fan of drinking but wanted to be able to go anywhere I wanted. Once I hit 20 the looking forward to getting a year older seemed to pass, I've never minded aging, you just stop waiting and maybe that's why life seems to zip by after 20, you stop waiting for the landmark years and start dreading them instead. I can honestly tell you that I've never minded growing older, I really do feel like I get a little wiser every year and since I had such a shortage of wisdom I guess looking forward to gaining it interested me.
Todays Question: "Do you see every year as a gift and the potential for growth?"
I know way too many people who don't and it makes me sad. Life was meant to be savoured and lived, you can't have it both ways, either you die, which I'm also looking forward to, and stop the aging process or you live and age. So what? I mean so what if we have wrinkles and our skin gets a little loose, we are merely learning to relax. So what if there are younger and prettier people in the world, trust me on this one, there always has been. So what if your bones ache a little, at least you know you have them. I never even thought about my bones when I was young. So what if I don't move as fast as I used to, I'm taking more time to smell the roses. So what if my bra has more work to do now than it ever did, it's finally earning the big bucks I had to spend to get it. So what if the thought of a thong makes me cringe, I don't have to be that cool I'm going for comfort people. I refuse to sacrifice this wonderful gift of life God has given me for the complaint department. I want to grow old with grace and I want to die to live forever in that same grace and thanks to God I will.
So, rejoice my friends, life is short no matter the number attached to you when you die. Thanks to Jesus you'll live happily ever after regardless of how long you thought you were living. I think life truly begins when you die and I always will. I will to enjoy all!
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
I'm a Hacker
I wish I was talking about the computer hackers, unfortunately I'm referrring to how much I "hack" and cough. Oh I don't like being sick. I am trying to see the postive, all this coughing may tone my stomach muscles and I will be counting that as exercise, just so you know. I am happily taking a break this weekend from home rennos and going to Radium for a well deserved rest. Gord deserves it more than I do, and in spite of the fact that he's kicking and screaming about the three full days of work he'll miss at the farm, he's given in. Smart man.
I have maintained a fourteen pound drop and that makes me feel good. I'm still a little apprehensive about the long weekend but I am tyring really hard not to plan my own demize. I would love to be twenty five pounds lighter by the summer. I think that's a realistic goal and I have finally learned that faster is not better when it comes to eating right. I've also learned that setting goals that are attainable is the key to succeeding. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to lose twenty pounds in a month for a wedding, or a vacation.
Todays Question: "Why do we lie to ourselves so much when it comes to weight?"
I wonder what part of my brain shut off when I thought I could lose ten pounds in a week because I wanted to look better in my bathing suit. I can't imagine who I thought I was kidding when I said I'd start eating right on Monday. I haven't really beleived one of the New Years resolutions to exercise and lose all the extra weight I had on. Pick a year, you'd be right if you said any year for the last 30. Isn't that pitiful?
I love having honest people in my life, I really am not fond of lying and yet I have lied to myself constantly for the last 30 years. My biggest, you don't mind being fat, you look good. Let me just say I don't think I look bad, but I sure don't look my best. When it comes to looking honestly at myself this nursery rhyme comes to mind; Liar, liar pants on fire. Probably be good if my pants were on fire, at least I'd get off my butt and run. Okay I'd probably walk but I would get up.
I really need to stay honest, stop making excuses and move forward. My results may be slow but they are coming. I should at least be willing to give myself time to undo what's taken me 30 years to do.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
I have maintained a fourteen pound drop and that makes me feel good. I'm still a little apprehensive about the long weekend but I am tyring really hard not to plan my own demize. I would love to be twenty five pounds lighter by the summer. I think that's a realistic goal and I have finally learned that faster is not better when it comes to eating right. I've also learned that setting goals that are attainable is the key to succeeding. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to lose twenty pounds in a month for a wedding, or a vacation.
Todays Question: "Why do we lie to ourselves so much when it comes to weight?"
I wonder what part of my brain shut off when I thought I could lose ten pounds in a week because I wanted to look better in my bathing suit. I can't imagine who I thought I was kidding when I said I'd start eating right on Monday. I haven't really beleived one of the New Years resolutions to exercise and lose all the extra weight I had on. Pick a year, you'd be right if you said any year for the last 30. Isn't that pitiful?
I love having honest people in my life, I really am not fond of lying and yet I have lied to myself constantly for the last 30 years. My biggest, you don't mind being fat, you look good. Let me just say I don't think I look bad, but I sure don't look my best. When it comes to looking honestly at myself this nursery rhyme comes to mind; Liar, liar pants on fire. Probably be good if my pants were on fire, at least I'd get off my butt and run. Okay I'd probably walk but I would get up.
I really need to stay honest, stop making excuses and move forward. My results may be slow but they are coming. I should at least be willing to give myself time to undo what's taken me 30 years to do.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
True But Scarey
So the truth this morning, I'm down another pound which makes me fourteen pounds lighter. The scarey part, a long weekend in Radium is ahead of me and I didn't want to tell you about that pound so it could be my safety net. I'm already planning my demize.
Todays Question: "What can we expect the end result to be if we plan for our failure before hand?"
I know I"m not the only person who does that, seriously. I can't tell you how many people go on big vacations or small and expect to gain four or five pounds. It's like a part of the itinerary and the budget plans. Please tell me what is wrong with us ladies, my husband never even thinks about his weight. (Except for now because he needed to lose 15 pounds to get his hernia operated on in Toronto at the place of our choice.) Most men just eat when they are hungry and don't even think about the end results, either end. Most women think about nothing else.
I have to confess that if I'm even a hairline off a loss I post the same weight I was the day before. If I'm a hairline from a gain I'm a sealed vault. No need to mention that it's not a full pound. Oh I need work. I'm not really allowing myself to celebrate when I'm a pound lighter because I'm always thinking, "What if I gain tomorrow, I'll have to post it on my blog." Question, was it my idea to blog because I'd sure like someone to blame? I know the answer and since it was God who I felt leading me to do it I'll look at the real problem...me. I sadly am not very good at believing in myself. I love believing in God.
So now what? I'm going to take Gods advice and take one day at a time. I seem to spend a great deal of time getting ahead of myself and I have to stop that. It's way too hard to go beyond a day, I know that and still do it. The word wacko comes to mind. I'm going to be happy I am fourteen pounds lighter, I think that is the highest drop since I started, a new record. I'm a regular olympian people...my personal best. Someone call the Edmonton Journal.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "What can we expect the end result to be if we plan for our failure before hand?"
I know I"m not the only person who does that, seriously. I can't tell you how many people go on big vacations or small and expect to gain four or five pounds. It's like a part of the itinerary and the budget plans. Please tell me what is wrong with us ladies, my husband never even thinks about his weight. (Except for now because he needed to lose 15 pounds to get his hernia operated on in Toronto at the place of our choice.) Most men just eat when they are hungry and don't even think about the end results, either end. Most women think about nothing else.
I have to confess that if I'm even a hairline off a loss I post the same weight I was the day before. If I'm a hairline from a gain I'm a sealed vault. No need to mention that it's not a full pound. Oh I need work. I'm not really allowing myself to celebrate when I'm a pound lighter because I'm always thinking, "What if I gain tomorrow, I'll have to post it on my blog." Question, was it my idea to blog because I'd sure like someone to blame? I know the answer and since it was God who I felt leading me to do it I'll look at the real problem...me. I sadly am not very good at believing in myself. I love believing in God.
So now what? I'm going to take Gods advice and take one day at a time. I seem to spend a great deal of time getting ahead of myself and I have to stop that. It's way too hard to go beyond a day, I know that and still do it. The word wacko comes to mind. I'm going to be happy I am fourteen pounds lighter, I think that is the highest drop since I started, a new record. I'm a regular olympian people...my personal best. Someone call the Edmonton Journal.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Transformations
It has been exactly 64 days since we bought the farmhouse and I can't beleive all that has changed in that house. I wish that my body makeover was going as well as the house rennos. For example, two floors have been gutted and redesigned. Hardwood flooring has been put into the kitchen, dining room, living room, two halls, and all the upstairs bedrooms, oh and one main floor bedroom. The stairway has been opened, thanks Pastor Bob for that great idea, and the bathroom has been completely redone on the main floor. Tile has gone into the two entrances and the bathroom, beautiful tile I have to add. Gord has now put three new lights up and trimmed two door frames, the entire living room and parts of the dining room, he's an amazing rennovater. I have painted the dining room, living room, laundry room, side entranceway and main floor bedroom, my wrists hurt, but so worth it. Okay my whole body hurts since I'm usually the clean up crew, but hey I'm trying not whine.
Last Friday the kitchen went in, the appliances will be delivered today, Park Millwork built the most beautiful kitchen I have ever owned, never mind seen. And Lucie, as mentioned previously, is the best kitchen designer ever. Seriously gifted...you'll see soon when I post the pictures. We even had a huge loader come and plow almost all four of our acres, oh and the once human powered front gate is now a very cool solar powered gate..yup with remote controls. I now have the power to let people in, or keep them out. I'm such a control freak. I must add that my husband has done the electrical, plumbing, mudding, taping and sanding, tiling, some painting and trimming, oh and carpentry work it would take to long to mention. I know his name is Gord but seriously I think I married that Jack of all trades guy, and he did it all with an inquenal hernia that will be operated on in 13 days. Was I whining about my body hurting...shame on me.
Todays Question: "Why can't I rennovate my body as quickly and efficiently as the farmhouse?"
Seriously, it's been almost five months and I've lost thirteen pounds. I have been doing so much more physically as you can tell, I'd like to see the transformation in me as clearly as I do in our farmhouse. I will say that I feel stronger, the thing I have noticed about sore muscles is that each day they feel firmer and that remarkably makes me feel kinda super-human. Ok, somewhat super human in strength but whatever. I am eating better 80% of the time and when that 20% kicks in I'm still eating less. Thank God for that.
I guess I need to remember that unlike the farmhouse I'm working on this transformation alone. I don't have Park Millwork to take me from nothing to something wonderful in five days, like my new kitchen. I'm lacking the rip and tear crew that gutted two levels, maybe I do need a personal trainer or two. Lucie could you work on my design please? Gord couldn't you rennovate your wife while your at it? Never mind honey, I can see the problems with that request without drawings. It's sad but it's true friends, this is my work and although God will help, people support and encourage me, I'm on my own. This transformation will continue to depend on my choices and actions each day. I can't wait to post those before and after shots.
Be blessed with a wonderful day.
Last Friday the kitchen went in, the appliances will be delivered today, Park Millwork built the most beautiful kitchen I have ever owned, never mind seen. And Lucie, as mentioned previously, is the best kitchen designer ever. Seriously gifted...you'll see soon when I post the pictures. We even had a huge loader come and plow almost all four of our acres, oh and the once human powered front gate is now a very cool solar powered gate..yup with remote controls. I now have the power to let people in, or keep them out. I'm such a control freak. I must add that my husband has done the electrical, plumbing, mudding, taping and sanding, tiling, some painting and trimming, oh and carpentry work it would take to long to mention. I know his name is Gord but seriously I think I married that Jack of all trades guy, and he did it all with an inquenal hernia that will be operated on in 13 days. Was I whining about my body hurting...shame on me.
Todays Question: "Why can't I rennovate my body as quickly and efficiently as the farmhouse?"
Seriously, it's been almost five months and I've lost thirteen pounds. I have been doing so much more physically as you can tell, I'd like to see the transformation in me as clearly as I do in our farmhouse. I will say that I feel stronger, the thing I have noticed about sore muscles is that each day they feel firmer and that remarkably makes me feel kinda super-human. Ok, somewhat super human in strength but whatever. I am eating better 80% of the time and when that 20% kicks in I'm still eating less. Thank God for that.
I guess I need to remember that unlike the farmhouse I'm working on this transformation alone. I don't have Park Millwork to take me from nothing to something wonderful in five days, like my new kitchen. I'm lacking the rip and tear crew that gutted two levels, maybe I do need a personal trainer or two. Lucie could you work on my design please? Gord couldn't you rennovate your wife while your at it? Never mind honey, I can see the problems with that request without drawings. It's sad but it's true friends, this is my work and although God will help, people support and encourage me, I'm on my own. This transformation will continue to depend on my choices and actions each day. I can't wait to post those before and after shots.
Be blessed with a wonderful day.
Monday, February 8, 2010
No Pain, I Said No Pain!
I have remembered why I'm not to fond of exercise, every muscle in my body hurts and I was certain I had no muscles left. Ouch. Hurts to go up the stairs, that is from getting on the stool to paint, then getting off the stool for more paint...up, down, up down. Arms hurt when I move them in any and every direction, add the shoulders and neck to that, all from paint strokes. Back hurts, although I have to admit it feels way more flexible, from all the bending. Feet hurt, simply because I'm on them more, I do favor the recline position. Butt muscles hurt when I walk, I think it's a combination of bending and climbing. And last but not least, my hands hurt from holding little paint pails and brushes, oh I just love tying paint in. I didn't mean that.
Todays Question: "Do you like that quote, "No pain, no gain." ?
I sure don't, I prefer my own, "No pain, no pain." It's so much better, feels great not to have pain. I have another question, why is it that everything we do to improve our health comes with some measure of pain. I mean those hunger pains are not pleasant, I think they "may" be worse than the physical pain that comes after exercise. I know they both pass with time and I'm counting on that, I just would like it if the way I felt the first day when I was painting, was the way I felt by the second day. I'd like to eat less and not feel like my stomach was stuck to my backbone, while my body adjusted to a serious lack of food. Okay I'm not lacking any food, let's keep it real. My point, nothing ...just felt like whining.
Okay I have a point. I think it must be human nature to want a result without the effort, or pain. I think I need to stop whining and start rejoicing. I can move, I'm in good health, I'm blessed with strong and healthy bones, I am remarkably flexible for my age, I have some sore this's and thats but overall, I am in perfect health. Praise the Lord. I can go upstairs soak in my wonderful jacuzzi tub, climb back into my warm and comfy bed, sleep knowing that I'm safe in God's arms, get up and find food in my fridge, call any number of the wonderful friends and family I have, should I need someone to whine to about my pain, and last but not least, I am loved and I love. I'm so fearfully and wonderfully made, I'm so blessed.
No pain, no pain. No gain, no gain. I am reminded of Jesus, so much pain for my gain. Boy do I have a lot to learn. Thank you Lord.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Do you like that quote, "No pain, no gain." ?
I sure don't, I prefer my own, "No pain, no pain." It's so much better, feels great not to have pain. I have another question, why is it that everything we do to improve our health comes with some measure of pain. I mean those hunger pains are not pleasant, I think they "may" be worse than the physical pain that comes after exercise. I know they both pass with time and I'm counting on that, I just would like it if the way I felt the first day when I was painting, was the way I felt by the second day. I'd like to eat less and not feel like my stomach was stuck to my backbone, while my body adjusted to a serious lack of food. Okay I'm not lacking any food, let's keep it real. My point, nothing ...just felt like whining.
Okay I have a point. I think it must be human nature to want a result without the effort, or pain. I think I need to stop whining and start rejoicing. I can move, I'm in good health, I'm blessed with strong and healthy bones, I am remarkably flexible for my age, I have some sore this's and thats but overall, I am in perfect health. Praise the Lord. I can go upstairs soak in my wonderful jacuzzi tub, climb back into my warm and comfy bed, sleep knowing that I'm safe in God's arms, get up and find food in my fridge, call any number of the wonderful friends and family I have, should I need someone to whine to about my pain, and last but not least, I am loved and I love. I'm so fearfully and wonderfully made, I'm so blessed.
No pain, no pain. No gain, no gain. I am reminded of Jesus, so much pain for my gain. Boy do I have a lot to learn. Thank you Lord.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Time For Everything
I love that scripture, it lets me share things in my time, embrace things in my time, forget things in my time, forgive in my time, love in my time, etc. Obviously I should be quick to forgive, guicker than I am at times that is for sure. I should love all the time but don't, I am working on that. I find that time gives us something we need in the most important areas of our lives, love, forgiveness, happiness, sadness, anger and host of other emotions our wonderfully designed brains allow us to feel. Time helps me process.
Todays Question: "Do any of you wish like I do that closing your mouth and waiting for the appropriate time to speak was something you did...all the time?"
Contrary to my question I didn't offend anyone recently, at least not that I know off...time and this blog may change that. I just found myself thinking about time. People often say that time heals all wounds. I hate that expression and yet I love Ecclesiastes 3 and how it defines the times for everything under the sun. It's beautiful to consider that the plan is in place for my life and the times are set. I grapple with the timing but I trust that God knows the reasons for the times. I am glad that time isn't the healer of my wounds...God is. I realize that time passes in the process but that sentence, time heals all wounds, cuts short my need to feel, to process and to search for the deeper messages that can only be found in pain. I wish that I learned so clearly from my joy as I do from my pain.
I have a time set to heal, yes indeed, but the healing and how much time passes depends on me. If I'm looking for the passing of time to heal me I will stay in my sorrow. If I'm looking for God to heal me I'll find my way every time out from under that sorrow. There is much to learn in the valley and the mountain top is something that is only enjoyable for a time. I can look at the remarkable view from the peak for so long and then I get bored, I need to go back down into the valley to start climbing again. This morning I feel like life is a series of treks up and down the mountain. Maybe that's why I love this scripture so much.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build, (reminds me of my old and now new kitchen)
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance, (God does like dancing and so do I.)
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain, (Yep, we even get tired of hugs.)
a time to search and a time to give up, (It's lost already, let it go.)
a time to keep and a time to throw away, (Moving really helps this process.)
a time to tear and a time to mend, (Thanks Gord for mending my tears.)
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
I love that God ...."has made everthing beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of mankind."
Isn't that a timely message that never ends.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Do any of you wish like I do that closing your mouth and waiting for the appropriate time to speak was something you did...all the time?"
Contrary to my question I didn't offend anyone recently, at least not that I know off...time and this blog may change that. I just found myself thinking about time. People often say that time heals all wounds. I hate that expression and yet I love Ecclesiastes 3 and how it defines the times for everything under the sun. It's beautiful to consider that the plan is in place for my life and the times are set. I grapple with the timing but I trust that God knows the reasons for the times. I am glad that time isn't the healer of my wounds...God is. I realize that time passes in the process but that sentence, time heals all wounds, cuts short my need to feel, to process and to search for the deeper messages that can only be found in pain. I wish that I learned so clearly from my joy as I do from my pain.
I have a time set to heal, yes indeed, but the healing and how much time passes depends on me. If I'm looking for the passing of time to heal me I will stay in my sorrow. If I'm looking for God to heal me I'll find my way every time out from under that sorrow. There is much to learn in the valley and the mountain top is something that is only enjoyable for a time. I can look at the remarkable view from the peak for so long and then I get bored, I need to go back down into the valley to start climbing again. This morning I feel like life is a series of treks up and down the mountain. Maybe that's why I love this scripture so much.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build, (reminds me of my old and now new kitchen)
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance, (God does like dancing and so do I.)
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain, (Yep, we even get tired of hugs.)
a time to search and a time to give up, (It's lost already, let it go.)
a time to keep and a time to throw away, (Moving really helps this process.)
a time to tear and a time to mend, (Thanks Gord for mending my tears.)
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
I love that God ...."has made everthing beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of mankind."
Isn't that a timely message that never ends.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Shopping for New Jeans and Turning the Page.
I'm finding that my journey is like a book, not sure what I'll read on the next page but I'm starting to care. That for me is huge. I want to finish this book I've titled Fifty One Pounds, I'm ready to get off the comfortable page that has read ten pounds lighter for way too many months. I feel safe hovering around ten pounds and I don't just want to feel safe anymore, I want to get uncomfortable as I find my way to a twenty pound post etc. I discovered with the help of a very good book that I have a fear of being thin. I want something I really don't want or know how to handle. It has to do with so many aspects of who I think I am and yet know I am not.
Todays Question: "Are you ever afraid of what you know you can have?"
I am! I have absolutely no doubt that I could be fifty one pounds lighter and more if I wanted to be. I'm saying firmly and truthfully...no doubt whatsoever. I'm saying with that same conviction that my fear of who that lady might be seems to be holding me captive with a ten to thirteen pound gun. I have discovered a patten once again during these few months, I get a couple pounds past ten and I'm eating a blizzard, or chips, or too much bread. I jump for joy when I drop a couple pounds past the security blanket that is ten, then surrender to the first treat I can find and it's always food.
Yesterday I went with Tessa and Zayin to find grandma some new jeans. I bought low riders from American Eagle. Why? Tessa said they looked amazing. I must have needed to hear that because I bought them ignoring the fact that my "granny" undies, as Tessa called them, were showing. I'm understating. Half of my butt would have been exposed if not for those french cut jockeys, she called granny undies. Seriously Tessa...you are lucky I love you so much. Nobody slams my jockeys. I showed my husband my new jeans and he loved how they looked but wondered how I'd deal with bending over. Asked me where my butt was. Hello...same place it's always been honey. His question was valid, I'd already pointed that out to Tessa, when I say pointed that out, I meant I said; "I can't bend over or the world will see my jockeys." She said I'd get used to it, meaning the jeans of course. Why? Why would I want to get used to my butt hanging out. This one will make you laugh out loud, Gord said. "You need to buy a thong and then people will see only the top of it if you bend over." I'm laughing myself. I assured him they don't make a thong big enough to hide this arse in those jeans. Isn't jean shopping fun.
My point, those jeans make me feel good. Maybe because they make me laugh, and maybe because they do look good. Okay I'll only wear them when I have no need to bend, but that little tiny zipper and the way they fit the skinniest part of my belly makes me feel fabulously smaller. And I was comfortable with that in spite of the fact that I kept trying to pull the back up. I'm sure the jumping up and down counts as exercise so it's all good. I want you all to know I will not be wearing a fitted shirt with those jeans, I'm not a fan of showing the belly surplus that low rise jeans are famous for...I meant to say infamous. I cannot deny however, that even with flaws I get it and I'm embracing it. I look a little bit sexy in those jeans and I'm going to stop being afraid of that. I'm goint to see a smaller me and not freak out for a change. One day I will write more about this fear of looking great in more depth. For now I'm taking baby steps to turn the page on the book that is my life, or has been my life up to now. The thing I like about books is that you can turn the page and sometimes the story gets better. With books that may not always be the case but when you are writing the story of your life...you decide what the next page will say.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Are you ever afraid of what you know you can have?"
I am! I have absolutely no doubt that I could be fifty one pounds lighter and more if I wanted to be. I'm saying firmly and truthfully...no doubt whatsoever. I'm saying with that same conviction that my fear of who that lady might be seems to be holding me captive with a ten to thirteen pound gun. I have discovered a patten once again during these few months, I get a couple pounds past ten and I'm eating a blizzard, or chips, or too much bread. I jump for joy when I drop a couple pounds past the security blanket that is ten, then surrender to the first treat I can find and it's always food.
Yesterday I went with Tessa and Zayin to find grandma some new jeans. I bought low riders from American Eagle. Why? Tessa said they looked amazing. I must have needed to hear that because I bought them ignoring the fact that my "granny" undies, as Tessa called them, were showing. I'm understating. Half of my butt would have been exposed if not for those french cut jockeys, she called granny undies. Seriously Tessa...you are lucky I love you so much. Nobody slams my jockeys. I showed my husband my new jeans and he loved how they looked but wondered how I'd deal with bending over. Asked me where my butt was. Hello...same place it's always been honey. His question was valid, I'd already pointed that out to Tessa, when I say pointed that out, I meant I said; "I can't bend over or the world will see my jockeys." She said I'd get used to it, meaning the jeans of course. Why? Why would I want to get used to my butt hanging out. This one will make you laugh out loud, Gord said. "You need to buy a thong and then people will see only the top of it if you bend over." I'm laughing myself. I assured him they don't make a thong big enough to hide this arse in those jeans. Isn't jean shopping fun.
My point, those jeans make me feel good. Maybe because they make me laugh, and maybe because they do look good. Okay I'll only wear them when I have no need to bend, but that little tiny zipper and the way they fit the skinniest part of my belly makes me feel fabulously smaller. And I was comfortable with that in spite of the fact that I kept trying to pull the back up. I'm sure the jumping up and down counts as exercise so it's all good. I want you all to know I will not be wearing a fitted shirt with those jeans, I'm not a fan of showing the belly surplus that low rise jeans are famous for...I meant to say infamous. I cannot deny however, that even with flaws I get it and I'm embracing it. I look a little bit sexy in those jeans and I'm going to stop being afraid of that. I'm goint to see a smaller me and not freak out for a change. One day I will write more about this fear of looking great in more depth. For now I'm taking baby steps to turn the page on the book that is my life, or has been my life up to now. The thing I like about books is that you can turn the page and sometimes the story gets better. With books that may not always be the case but when you are writing the story of your life...you decide what the next page will say.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Your Comments.
This morning I want to say thank you to all you wonderful people who read my blog. I am so blessed by your comments and encouragment. I want you to know that I'm not in love with writing about every stupid thing I do, I especially don't enjoy the ups and downs I've had since starting this process...regarding the weight and a host of others things. You know, like moods and foods, gripes and grabbles, mistakes and mess-ups, typos and hippos...it was enough of the same first letter words. :)
Todays Question: "Do you know how much your support helps me to keep looking at myself honestly?"
You may not know this but my two faces appeared this morning, one is saying a warm and fuzzy; "Thank you for helping me." The other wants to yell and grimace; "THANKS ALOT!" You make me accountable and that is something I need and like, face two, none of your business and leave me alone. Face two knows face one is to blame. Did I mention before that I have dual personalities. It's true, skinny Jenny tells herself she can eat and do whatever she wants. I like her. Fat Jenny keeps reminding her of her fat and tells her she needs to starve, for about six months. I don't like her. So you see my battle, skinny Jenny is dillusional but I still favor her. No one would lie if it didn't benefit them in some way. Not good but true.
Don't you think it's funny that skinny Jenny controls me. I like it when she tells me I'm not that fat, I look good. I'm especially fond of this one, you are no where near as fat as most of the people in the world. She exaggerates too. Has your skinny version of you every said this? "You need salt and vinegar potatoe chips and you should get some. You don't have to eat them all." Mine did, yesterday. She lied to me so well that I bought them. I even told my pretty friend Christan that I planned that and I did, but I was deceived right up until this morning when the truth hit. I wanted chips and gave in. I also convinced myself that because they were baked chips it was better. Baked chips are better but I just ate lunch, I didn't need to eat anything else. Know why I wanted chips? Fat Jenny had salad and shrimp for lunch. Skinny Jenny wanted to eat more bread and get a snack for the salad sacrifice she "thought" she'd made. Oh it's not easy writing from the two sides of my face.
I'm now blending the two, they are driving me crazy apart. I'm both people, I want to be slimmer and healthier, I need to be honest with myself and put both my faces forward. Underneath this fat is a better frame of mind, a place where I don't have to fight with myself and be two-faced. I beat myself up often for being a control freak, I'm need to embrace that part of me as well. I'm the only person who can control what I eat, I've proven that. I don't have to control anyone but myself, my problem with control usually has more to do with wanting others to do what I want. I'm a work in progress and this blog has helped me to see just how much work I need to do.
Your comments and your faithfulness to read my ramblings help me face the facts, be honest and press on. I am so blessed by that, me and all my imaginary friends. You truly inspire me to succeed and I pray you are comforted and guided to overcome in your areas of struggle. God is faithful and so many of you remind me of Him.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Do you know how much your support helps me to keep looking at myself honestly?"
You may not know this but my two faces appeared this morning, one is saying a warm and fuzzy; "Thank you for helping me." The other wants to yell and grimace; "THANKS ALOT!" You make me accountable and that is something I need and like, face two, none of your business and leave me alone. Face two knows face one is to blame. Did I mention before that I have dual personalities. It's true, skinny Jenny tells herself she can eat and do whatever she wants. I like her. Fat Jenny keeps reminding her of her fat and tells her she needs to starve, for about six months. I don't like her. So you see my battle, skinny Jenny is dillusional but I still favor her. No one would lie if it didn't benefit them in some way. Not good but true.
Don't you think it's funny that skinny Jenny controls me. I like it when she tells me I'm not that fat, I look good. I'm especially fond of this one, you are no where near as fat as most of the people in the world. She exaggerates too. Has your skinny version of you every said this? "You need salt and vinegar potatoe chips and you should get some. You don't have to eat them all." Mine did, yesterday. She lied to me so well that I bought them. I even told my pretty friend Christan that I planned that and I did, but I was deceived right up until this morning when the truth hit. I wanted chips and gave in. I also convinced myself that because they were baked chips it was better. Baked chips are better but I just ate lunch, I didn't need to eat anything else. Know why I wanted chips? Fat Jenny had salad and shrimp for lunch. Skinny Jenny wanted to eat more bread and get a snack for the salad sacrifice she "thought" she'd made. Oh it's not easy writing from the two sides of my face.
I'm now blending the two, they are driving me crazy apart. I'm both people, I want to be slimmer and healthier, I need to be honest with myself and put both my faces forward. Underneath this fat is a better frame of mind, a place where I don't have to fight with myself and be two-faced. I beat myself up often for being a control freak, I'm need to embrace that part of me as well. I'm the only person who can control what I eat, I've proven that. I don't have to control anyone but myself, my problem with control usually has more to do with wanting others to do what I want. I'm a work in progress and this blog has helped me to see just how much work I need to do.
Your comments and your faithfulness to read my ramblings help me face the facts, be honest and press on. I am so blessed by that, me and all my imaginary friends. You truly inspire me to succeed and I pray you are comforted and guided to overcome in your areas of struggle. God is faithful and so many of you remind me of Him.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Hotel Happiness
I love it when Gord gets a last minute call to be in Calgary, it translates into one beautiful night at the Hyatt and a relaxing night and morning for me. The six hours of traveling are worth it. It's an all expenses paid mini vacation and it was just what I needed. I can't weigh in this morning, may be one more reason I'm loving it. I exercised, sauna for sweating off pounds, swam so I could call it exercise and then hot tub to relax those tired muscles. Ok I didn't sweat anywhere except in the sauna. I'm on vacation, seriously. :)
Gord brought me breakfast in bed and I'm happy to report I only ate a few bites of his choices for me. I asked for a banana an orange and a bran muffin. I got a muffin, only liked the crusted top, a crossiant, had a couple bites don't need the fat, and an orange. So instead of doing what I always do, that would be scarfing down every last bit so I don't waste, I just had a couple bites to avoid the hungry, which can lead to panic. I'm throwing out everything but the orange which I'll keep for the trip home. I'll go get my own healthy breakfast when I feel like climbing out of this comfy bed. Could be lunch time before that happens, or not, I have to go sauna and swim for this mornings exercise. I'm actually looking forward to that. Perhaps one of you should call a Dr., I may need my head examined.
I have been surprised by how good those two pounds I lost yesterday made me feel. I didn't notice any difference in any other way besides my mental state of mind. It was truly a gift that I needed, that little bit of encouragement to show me that I can do this if I will just be patient with myself and not throw in that towel. I really don't like throwing towels since I have to wash them, may be one more reason I like hotels, don't have to wash the towels I dirty. Life is good.
I pray today, in any area you feel like quitting, that God would do something wonderful for you to remind you that He is always willing to help you, in His perfect timing, if you persevere. He will answer your prayers. I am discovering that I need to heal more than I need to lose weight. I have got to learn to love every part of who I am and to know that ,with God's help, I can change the parts I don't like. The good news is that He loves me so wonderfully and so unconditionally. Now I need learn to love myself so unconditionally.
Be blessed with a Wonderful day.
Gord brought me breakfast in bed and I'm happy to report I only ate a few bites of his choices for me. I asked for a banana an orange and a bran muffin. I got a muffin, only liked the crusted top, a crossiant, had a couple bites don't need the fat, and an orange. So instead of doing what I always do, that would be scarfing down every last bit so I don't waste, I just had a couple bites to avoid the hungry, which can lead to panic. I'm throwing out everything but the orange which I'll keep for the trip home. I'll go get my own healthy breakfast when I feel like climbing out of this comfy bed. Could be lunch time before that happens, or not, I have to go sauna and swim for this mornings exercise. I'm actually looking forward to that. Perhaps one of you should call a Dr., I may need my head examined.
I have been surprised by how good those two pounds I lost yesterday made me feel. I didn't notice any difference in any other way besides my mental state of mind. It was truly a gift that I needed, that little bit of encouragement to show me that I can do this if I will just be patient with myself and not throw in that towel. I really don't like throwing towels since I have to wash them, may be one more reason I like hotels, don't have to wash the towels I dirty. Life is good.
I pray today, in any area you feel like quitting, that God would do something wonderful for you to remind you that He is always willing to help you, in His perfect timing, if you persevere. He will answer your prayers. I am discovering that I need to heal more than I need to lose weight. I have got to learn to love every part of who I am and to know that ,with God's help, I can change the parts I don't like. The good news is that He loves me so wonderfully and so unconditionally. Now I need learn to love myself so unconditionally.
Be blessed with a Wonderful day.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Suspicious Mind
I have no explanation for this one and I'm very suspicious of the "why" factor. I'm two pounds lighter and I'm closer to three than two, but like I've said before I only count full pounds. I wish I knew why this happened and how so I could tell you something wonderful I discovered. Unfortunately I'm as baffled as can be. I'm happy just puzzled.
Todays Question: "Is it possible that I've been at one of those plateaus people talk about?"
I mean is it ridiculous to think that my plateau point was ten pounds, I sure hope that is not true. It does however sound like something my fat hugging body would do. I mean why plateau at a thirty pound loss when it's way quicker to stop at ten. The good news is they say, those they sayers, that plateaus end and then your body finds a new one. I hope I can put it off for a little longer this time.
I feel a bit like I've climbed a mountain with all this plateau talk, I can assure I have not moved from my chair. Well I had breakfast and lunch, always more than willing to make the trek to the fridge you know. :)
I'm very happy and I feel like a got a little bonus gift on this 3rd day of February. It's my baby Calvins birthday today, he is one of three of the best gifts I've ever gotten, I'm sure he is celebrating his 28th in heaven. I think the little angel may have sent his mom something he knew she'd like on his birthday, a little less fat to lighten my load.
God bless you all with something Wonderful Today.
Todays Question: "Is it possible that I've been at one of those plateaus people talk about?"
I mean is it ridiculous to think that my plateau point was ten pounds, I sure hope that is not true. It does however sound like something my fat hugging body would do. I mean why plateau at a thirty pound loss when it's way quicker to stop at ten. The good news is they say, those they sayers, that plateaus end and then your body finds a new one. I hope I can put it off for a little longer this time.
I feel a bit like I've climbed a mountain with all this plateau talk, I can assure I have not moved from my chair. Well I had breakfast and lunch, always more than willing to make the trek to the fridge you know. :)
I'm very happy and I feel like a got a little bonus gift on this 3rd day of February. It's my baby Calvins birthday today, he is one of three of the best gifts I've ever gotten, I'm sure he is celebrating his 28th in heaven. I think the little angel may have sent his mom something he knew she'd like on his birthday, a little less fat to lighten my load.
God bless you all with something Wonderful Today.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Directions Please
I didn't get lost or need directions, I am looking for God to direct my steps and lead me to where He would have me go. This journey is slow and I know that's good because so many of you have told me that when it comes to weight loss slow is best. Boy have I mastered slow. I'm still down ten pounds and that is good, but at this rate it will be thirty pounds down by September of 2010 and fifty one by March of 2011, I hope you guys have that much time and I don't run out of patience. Remember I'm short on that stuff.
Todays Questions: "Do you like instant results like I do?"
I'm sure a microwave kinda girl when it comes to waiting for things. I hardly ever use my microwave but it's sure nice to have it when I need it. It's remarkable to think about how many things in our lives don't come quickly. Good relationships develop over time, children grow and become your best friends because good parents sow seeds and wait to yield the harvest, gently plucking weeds and redirecting works best. I have wonderful friends in my life, all a result of both parties investing in each other lives, up and downs, over time. Bank accounts build over time, mortgages are paid over time. Random question; "Why do they spell mortgages with that "t", I mean really I want to read it "mort" "gages". What's a mort? Every truly wonderful thing in life develops over time and I want this body makeover to happen now. Silly me.
It's not very reasonable of me to think that I can quickly change what it has taken me years to build. I mean I didn't get to be fifty one pounds heavier overnight. It actaully took me years to pack this fat on. I find that funny since I can gain five pounds in one long weekend, sad but true. I can still remember having twenty pounds to lose in my twenties, thirty pounds to lose in my thirties and fourty pounds to lose in my forties and fifty pounds to lose...oh for goodness sake...it's a pattern. Good thing I stopped the bus.
I think our wonderful human nature runs contrary to what God wants for us and I'm sure glad that God does not run out of patience like I do. Even my relationship with Him has grown over time, I am often baffled by how much love can grow. I couldn't have imagined loving Him more, my children more, my husband more, my friends more and yet my love for all the significant people in my life continues to grow. Just wait until you have grandkids, huge growing field of love. I have got to learn that time always lies ahead of me and I will never run out of it, thanks to Jesus I'm an eternal being. That does not mean that I have to listen to my brain, it said I can wait for heaven to be perfected and eat what I want now, sounds just like me. I don't know how much time I have on earth but I do know I want to be active and moving and not an eighty year old who needs to lose eighty one pounds. Oh my gosh, could you stand reading this blog for that long? I sure couldn't so I'm chaning now...when I say now I mean, one day at a time with Gods help and direction.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Questions: "Do you like instant results like I do?"
I'm sure a microwave kinda girl when it comes to waiting for things. I hardly ever use my microwave but it's sure nice to have it when I need it. It's remarkable to think about how many things in our lives don't come quickly. Good relationships develop over time, children grow and become your best friends because good parents sow seeds and wait to yield the harvest, gently plucking weeds and redirecting works best. I have wonderful friends in my life, all a result of both parties investing in each other lives, up and downs, over time. Bank accounts build over time, mortgages are paid over time. Random question; "Why do they spell mortgages with that "t", I mean really I want to read it "mort" "gages". What's a mort? Every truly wonderful thing in life develops over time and I want this body makeover to happen now. Silly me.
It's not very reasonable of me to think that I can quickly change what it has taken me years to build. I mean I didn't get to be fifty one pounds heavier overnight. It actaully took me years to pack this fat on. I find that funny since I can gain five pounds in one long weekend, sad but true. I can still remember having twenty pounds to lose in my twenties, thirty pounds to lose in my thirties and fourty pounds to lose in my forties and fifty pounds to lose...oh for goodness sake...it's a pattern. Good thing I stopped the bus.
I think our wonderful human nature runs contrary to what God wants for us and I'm sure glad that God does not run out of patience like I do. Even my relationship with Him has grown over time, I am often baffled by how much love can grow. I couldn't have imagined loving Him more, my children more, my husband more, my friends more and yet my love for all the significant people in my life continues to grow. Just wait until you have grandkids, huge growing field of love. I have got to learn that time always lies ahead of me and I will never run out of it, thanks to Jesus I'm an eternal being. That does not mean that I have to listen to my brain, it said I can wait for heaven to be perfected and eat what I want now, sounds just like me. I don't know how much time I have on earth but I do know I want to be active and moving and not an eighty year old who needs to lose eighty one pounds. Oh my gosh, could you stand reading this blog for that long? I sure couldn't so I'm chaning now...when I say now I mean, one day at a time with Gods help and direction.
Be blessed with a Wonderful Day
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