Waking Up!

It seems that life is a series of wake up calls...and I'm just waking up.  I finally feel like I'm in a place where I can go forward...no matter how slow on a more balanced level...into this place called eating better and moving more.  Finally!

Today's Question:  "Do you believe it's better to get somewhere eventually than to not arrive at all?"

I do!!!!  On every level.  It has taken me a very long time to figure out that just because I have a bad meal...once in a while...I do not need to plunge head first into every treat I can find to make a bad choice a series of bad choices.  I can stop at the ice cream cake and avoid a feeding frenzy for the next meals.  Who knew?   Not me that's for sure.  Now that I've got it I intend to keep it and it has truly been working.

I've seen no serious weight drop, however I've maintained my almost ten pounds for a month because when I have a ton of events, birthdays, bbq's, and special days, I've quickly grasped reality again and returned to Jenny Craig.  I have to say that the weigh in part is very good for me...helps me to get a grip on Monday if the weekends been sketchy.  I weigh every Thursday so that in itself has helped me immensely.  I shall press on.

Exercise is slowly coming into my life, trying to do more yoga, rode my bike a couple times, some flower gardening and serious house cleaning is helping me to shape up.  If these beautiful days continue I shall be riding the mosquito magnet more often as well...that would be my horse, I'm sure those mosquito only see 1000lbs of blood when they look at him.  :)  I shall never wear black tights to ride again...they thought I was a continuation of him...16 bites on my leg that day...scratch..scratch.

So...I do feel like I'm waking up to the reality that I have caused this problem and I can solve it.  Truly this was not some invisible force making me fat...it was me.  Hand to mouth..fist to mouth if it's popcorn and why can't I have ice cream if everyone else is...poor...poor me.  I have reaped what I've shown and that means I can do it again...only this time I plan to be happy with what I reap.

My Prayer:  "God bless us with strength and empower us by your Holy Spirit to make the changes in our life that will reap a beautiful harvest.  Loving you beyond measure and thanking you for change."

Be blessed with a Wonderful Day

"A Father to the Fatherless"

Today is Father's Day, unlike Mother's Day it is not the busiest restaurant day of the year, not for the florists for obvious reason, maybe for the golf courses if it's not raining, and certainly not a huge Hallmark card day.  Sad...but true.


Today's Question:  "Do the titles we are given automatically mean we are good at them?"

My answer....only if your God and they are good.

When I was around 11 years old I entered my horse Breeze in the 4H show.  Breeze was my gift horse, and yes I occasionally looked him right in the mouth, I got his mom for passing grade one, her name was Blackie and she was a Welsh Mountain Pony, who happened to be in foal, much to every ones surprise...we got a two for one deal...I love those to this day.  Breeze was a mix, of what the man we bought Blackie from thought was a Quarter Horse, Thoroughbred cross.  Heinz 57 we call those.  My mom grew up on a farm and was used to work horses so she let us ride him a little too soon, as a result he had a bit of a sway back, but I loved him and he had the sweetest face.  I decided that since Breeze was competing against a group of much better bred horses I'd entere him in events where saddles were required...you lose marks for sway backs. 

I had ridden the 10 miles to the rodeo grounds where the big event was taking place.  My horse was safely tied having a well earned break and I was looking at the trophies beside the sign up table.  Only one caught my eye, it was different than all the rest and I loved it.  I'd said nothing but this girl who had a big and very well trained and bred horse saw me looking at it.  "That's the Western Trail trophy and I'll be winning that."  She said in a very matter of fact way.  I just looked at her and smiled and walked away.  I figured she was probably right.  She had a great horse. 

Western Trail was the event I'd worked the hardest at with Breeze at home, we opened gates with me sitting on him, crossed boards and bridges of all kinds, I swung plastic all around him, I'd make him stand and look at me without moving while I walked away and then walked back.  He was good at it, probably because he wasn't overly energetic to begin with.  He was born to keep his head low and to move with caution, Welsh Mountain ponies are know for their sure-footedness and he'd gotten that from his mom.  No crazy high stepping moves for Breeze...just slow and steady.

To make this potentially long story short Breeze was an absolute angel in that Western Trail course the judges had set up that day.  I opened and closed the gates like a pro, he stood and watched me walk away and back to him with his reigns on the ground, head down eyes on me, we crossed bridges and water holes, I swung stuff around his head and body, and he never reacted to plastic on the ground or anything...he did it all...never missed a beat actually and I won that trophy from a gentlemen judge who was just so impressed with my little horsey mutt.  I think that judge appreciated Breezes calm nature, he truly was the perfect trail horse, he'd spent his entire life trail riding with me.  He was a great and trustworthy mount.

The point.  This morning I woke up thinking about the arrogance of that girl, it's not the first time I've thought about it...it's just the first time I thought about God as a Father in relation to this event.  My dad wasn't present for that big horse show, he never was able to make any of my events, my mom was there and she was proud.  I thought about the type of Father God is this morning and the first thing that came to mind was the fact that He is always watching us.  Never takes his eyes off of us in fact.  I believe that he saw the arrogance of that young girl and my humility.  I didn't think I could win that event and I knew that as far as breeding and training went, Breeze was inferior.   However, God saw my heart and my efforts in training and He caused that judge to see those things as well.  I didn't go up and smirk in that girls face after I got my trophy, I actually felt sorry for her because it would be embarrassing to lose after her comments to me.  I was way too happy with my little brown Heinz 57 horsey that day to care.

Today if you don't have a father, God is present and watches every little thing you do, He is always pleased with you because He sees you through His perfect Son.  You can't be anything but beautiful in the light of Jesus Christ.  The Perfect Father loves you perfectly.  I'm so grateful for that on this Father's Day...so grateful.  I'm grateful for Father's who do the best they can as well.

My Prayer:  "Father, thank you, for always seeing us, knowing us and loving us....completely and unconditionally.  Bless all your dear children this day.  And thank you for being the best Father, this day and every day... eternally."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.

Motivation Needed

As the title clearly relates...I need some serious motivation...I've got nothing.  I have moments where I feel like I can do this and then reality hits hard.  Last night I went out for a beautiful dinner with my handsome husband.  One of those very high end places where you could buy 6 live chickens for the price of the meal.   It was delicious, so worth it, but first comes the bread, then the french onion soup, which I normally hate but it was so good, then a nice salad, all included with the Neptune Chicken Gord wanted us to have,  two chicken breasts stuffed with cheese and shrimp on top.  Definitely not a Jenny Craig meal.  Duh!

Today's Question:  "Why do I always see a free dinner as free?"

It will take force to go to my appointment tomorrow morning...I knew it was weigh in day but I ignored that until now.  This morning I said no to the smorg and had toast and eggs, I'm not utterly hopeless I just have these weak moments.   I've been very busy trying to get myself to exercise, that's  not as easy as it sounds I assure you.  Motivation...where are you?

I have fought the urge to just quit, still fighting it.  I keep telling myself that I'm fine, other people look worse, and yes others look better....I'm just not the fattest fish in the sea.  Ok, I'm not the skinniest either.   This is a very frustrating and ridiculous thing, this battle of the bulge....did I say bulge...I meant bulges. 

My Prayer:  "Wisdom please Lord, I lack wisdom, motivation and good choices in this area of my life.  Help all who struggle with this like I do.  I just want what I want when I want it and I know how immature that is."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

"How does one love a pebble in their shoe?"

Yesterday I mowed the lawn at our other house...yep still have it.  Was getting it ready for a showing and I'm praying it sells.  Oops...sidetracked.  Before I mowed the lawn I pulled some gargantuan weeds that had overtaken the beautiful garden planters my husband made me in hopes that I'd become a gardener...he's funny.  Whilst shaking the excess dirt off the root of those nasty weeds I felt the sudden rush of dirt surrounding my Lacoste runners...please note I mow in style.  I ignored said dirt and pressed on.

Today's Question:  "Do you ever ignore something that you will be forced to pay attention to later?"

Yep...pebble from that shaken root dirt in my shoe.  How does one love a pebble in their shoe?  One does not.  I tried to leave it there as I reflected on the movie it came from.  It's one of my beautiful daughters favorites and it's called "Ever After."  A Cinderella story with an independent women who doesn't need her Prince but is happy to have him.  The nasty stepmother says those most unkind words to her stepdaughter after she asks her if she ever loved her in some small way.  Obviously those words bothered me enough to take me back to that movie as soon as I realized I had a pebble in my shoe.  I tried to love it, hoping I'd be the exception.  I was determined to be the one who could love a pebble in my shoe.  I may have made three sweeps across the back lawn before my instincts for survival took over and I found myself removing my runner, before the side of my foot blistered from my failed attempt at loving the unlovely.  Such sorrow. 

Now my mind is going as fast as the mower and I'm thinking about how God wants us to love the unlovely.  That's hard for the human, however, unlike the pebble in my shoe people have feelings, they love, they cry, they laugh and they can love back.  Pebbles are not lovely mean stepmother and you were right, you can't love them.  But people, regardless of how irritating they can be, deserve to be loved.  Why?  Because God loves them, kinda like He loves me when I'm as painful as a pebble in your shoe. 

What irritates you?  Things can be gotten rid of and forgotten, people can't.  I need to remember this in every area of my life because this battle with my weight reminds me of that pebble.  Wish I could just take the stinking stuff off and never think about it again.  Apparently I'll have to actually do like I did with the pebble, bend down, take off the shoe, shake out the pebble and move on.  May take a little longer to dispose of the fat I've stored but it can be gotten rid of with some effort. 

My Prayer:  "Help us to love the unlovely especially when we feel unlovely ourselves.  I'm so grateful for your unconditional and unending love for us all.   You rock!"

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

Big Underwear 2

I'm feeling the need to go back to Invermere and find myself a new 6 pack of $5.00 big underwear.  I'm wanting a little extra security this month and I'm not sure why.  Could be because the world seems to be spinning out of control, fires, floods, tornadoes, tsunamis and mosquito infestations.  I had to include Edmonton in this list somehow...and we have some very large and early mosquito swarms.  My husband tells me they blew in when we had those extreme winds. 

Today's Question:  "Why can't what blew in blow right back out?"

I realize that dealing with mosquito swarms is not that big of a deal, especially when I think of the 6,000 people whose homes burned in the Slave Lake fire.  So happy no one died in those fires.

I do know that my big underwear is a false sense of security, however I still maintain that hanging by a string in that department does not make me feel confident.  Who would want to snap a thong in the middle of a counseling session.  Not I said the goose.  I'm noticing a trend in my last six pair purchase, holes...small little ones granted, but all 6 pairs are showing some serious signs of overuse.  I was only wearing them on Tuesdays for counseling day...now I'm rifling through my other 50 plus pairs to find 1 overly washed big pair to put on.  I've been washing clothes way more often to keep my availability up...that's positive.  ;)

It would appear that the wind that blew me into that store and gale forced me to buy those pairs of big underwear was more powerful than I thought.  I"m now fighting the urge to fill the three drawers I have for my dedicates with items that don't even remotely look "delicate".  I'm hoping I solve this problem with another problem I have....I'm cheap... in some ways.  Once I've gotten 6 pairs for $5.00 I can't pay more.  I mean really they should be giving those giants away.  :)

I will intentionally be making different choices this week and I'm hoping that will spill over into several other areas of my life.

My Prayer:  "Help us lift up our eyes to the hills Lord, as our help truly does come from you."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

Yikes!

Sad to say that I had to go back two weeks to find my last post.  Not doing very well at my blogging, doing much better with my eating though...so that's good.  I've been successful with Jenny Craig for the most part, grads, birthdays and parties have been very hard on poor Jenny.  :)

Today's Question:  "Does it ever seems like backwards is forward for you?"

It does for me...so often.  I've had several meetings with my new consultant and I've noticed a pattern.  Good thing I'm so well trained or I may have missed it.  ;)   I can justify any weight loss with a wonderful series of well thought out excuses.  For example, "I have gained a pound but I've discovered that I can say no so it's all good."   To which my consultant replies; "That is good, it's not just about weight loss."  I smile and nod.  Smiling because I've convinced her or because she's working to keep me coming back...not sure which. 

I am down 10lbs and that's a good  thing in light of the last couple of months.  Obviously some things have changed or I'd be up 20lbs...that's my normal pattern.  I continue to be committed to this process regardless of how pitiful my results are.  I'm sure that should get me a few points, if we were walking this journey on points, instead of pounds.  I wish! 

I have discovered Oolong tea, it has been proven to speed the metabolism and aid the body in fat burning.  Who wouldn't love a tea like that?  It has already eased this grandma's stiff joints quite remarkably so I'll be making it my drink of choice from now on.  I'll let you know if it works on burning fat...Lord knows I'll test that theory to the max.

My Prayer:  "Be strengthened in your innermost parts by our most Holy God.  His love for you is unending and is matched by His desire to see us overcome.  Lord help us all to press on."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.