Last night while driving home I was thinking about my beautiful daughter. Remembering the time in her life when she became my Cinderella. It started the moment she was born, she has always been beautiful. That face, those big eyes, that full head of dark hair that turned blonde after it all fell out. Such a pretty baby, such a tender hearted girl. I can't remember a time in her life when her dad and I didn't think we won the lottery of little girls.
Todays Question: "Why Cinderella?"
Because there was time in Tessa's life when she didn't feel that way, when she felt yucky. Have you ever noticed that once you start to reflect it's hard to stop? I also went through a time in my life when I didn't feel beautiful. I remember feeling so awkward and insecure, wishing I looked like every pretty and popular girl in my school. What other people saw in me I could not see myself. I do not come from a family of complimenters, no one is more surprised than me when I get one, so I can process why I didn't know what to do with compliments and was relucatant to beleive them. Tessa did not grow up in the same enviroment, she's been tortured all her life with parents who always tell her how beautiful she is. Even her dad calls her his beautiful daughter, I however can't get a compliment out of that man. Oops..sidetracking again..sorry. So, these thoughts and reflections made me think of Cinderella, at 51 I still love that story and for me, it has nothing to do with the handsome Prince. It's all about Cinderella discovering how beautiful she is. It is a transformation story and I assure you there is nothing I like more than transformation stories. Fact or fiction.
It took me well over 40 years to figure out I was beautiful, to stop hating pictures of me, to stop thinking I was nothing special. In fact I was almost 50 when my Cinderella moment arrived. I'd had glimpses over the years so this isn't a poor me party. I have never felt completely ugly, just average. But now I honestly feel beautiful, I even love my fat, and my flaws, they are mine, and that is what sets me apart, I'm who I'm supposed to be.
Tessa didn't like her nose, I think that her nose is perfect and highlights her eyes remarkably, not once has anyone ever told me anything other than how pretty Tessa is. But Tessa, has to see it herself. So many strangers tell me how pretty she is, girls at drive-through windows have told me she should run for Ms Canada, men seem to think she has no mother because if I'm walking with her no one is looking at me. Rude I know. The thing about a Cinderella moment is it has to come from you. No one else can give it to you...regardless of how many compliments you get.
And now...I'm going to tell you what I tell my daughter often, and all the other girls I know. Don't wait until your almost 50 to figure out how beautiful you are! Don't have your Cinderella moment when your life is over half spent.
How? My biggest realization, that pivitol moment, came from the most beautiful person I've ever met...Jesus. I realized that I am made in God's image. Nothing I've ever discovered about God, His Son, His Holy Spirit, is anything but beautiful. Whether what He does makes sense to me or not. I am loved by the creator of the universe and He makes all things beautiful in his time. So my Cinderella moment came when I realized that God loved me and created me in His image. When I figured out that if the God of all things loves me...I can't be anything but beautiful. And from that moment on I am the transformed beauty I always was...what changed...me. I opened my eyes to my own beauty and quit picking apart God's wonderful design.
My Prayer: "Help us all to see how truly beautiful we are Lord, designed by the maker of all things, created to praise, and yes that includes praise for our wonderful design. Thank you for making all things beautiful."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
"Inward beauty is a remarkable thing, once you see it...everyone else can."
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Avoidance Does Not Work
Can't pretend that I didn't write yesterday because I was too busy. Got up, went and weighed, came back to my laptop, didn't write, avoided it.
Todays Question: "Can you guess why?"
Indeed! You are correct if you mentioned the word gain. The sugar has once again snuck from Sunday to an almost daily occurance and the scale has very efficiently added the salted sunflower seeds and those sugar sneeks up. The total today is 2 pounds. Blasted sugar, stupid salty foods. Oh wait was I blaming those inatimate objects again? It would appear so.
So at lunch, I was having the salad bar, with Tessa, Zayin and Christan I ate a chocolate covered strawberry. Christan said you'll have to blog about it, Tessa asked the why are you doing this question and Zayin...I love him...he said some more, some more. I listened to Zayin, he's smarter than all of us, and he says what Grandma likes to hear. Christan asked me the why are you doing this question. I thought about seriously for a minute but I got nothing that seemed true. So I ignored that question after a little thought.
Until....the end of very busy day, with over 50 phone calls and hardly any time to sit and relax, I took a drive to meet Gordon and Chantel, bonus to long day I got to watch Scarlett for the first real baby sit since she was born, oh grandma is blessed. On the way home from getting her I had time to reflect and the what's wrong question was answered. July is upon us, the month my Calvin was the sickest, Aug 5 is approaching, the day he went home. Once again I'm eating to fill a void that can never be filled. The part that amazes me is that I do this everytime without having a clue it's happening. How weird is that?
I was talking to my BFF Lucie and I told her that once I'd figured out the answer to Christans question I couldn't drive into the DQ for an icecream cone when the thought came into my head, I knew immediatley the answer was no, not doing it. I recognized why I was overeating and that was that. It is true that once you recognize the problem it helps. I could have gone anyway but I just didnt' want to anymore. On the way into town, had I thought about it, I assure you I'd have dived in mouth wide open.
So now what? No beating myself up, no more eating to avoid feeling this month of July or the 5th day of August. I'll feel it, I look at it and with God's help I'll embrace it and remember how truly amazing the Holy Spirits ability to comfort is. What a marvelous sugar replacement that is.
My Prayer: "Lord when it hurts, help us to look at the pain and remember you are truly a God who comforts and cares about our sorrows. "You are intamately acquainted with our ways."
Be Blessed with A Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Can you guess why?"
Indeed! You are correct if you mentioned the word gain. The sugar has once again snuck from Sunday to an almost daily occurance and the scale has very efficiently added the salted sunflower seeds and those sugar sneeks up. The total today is 2 pounds. Blasted sugar, stupid salty foods. Oh wait was I blaming those inatimate objects again? It would appear so.
So at lunch, I was having the salad bar, with Tessa, Zayin and Christan I ate a chocolate covered strawberry. Christan said you'll have to blog about it, Tessa asked the why are you doing this question and Zayin...I love him...he said some more, some more. I listened to Zayin, he's smarter than all of us, and he says what Grandma likes to hear. Christan asked me the why are you doing this question. I thought about seriously for a minute but I got nothing that seemed true. So I ignored that question after a little thought.
Until....the end of very busy day, with over 50 phone calls and hardly any time to sit and relax, I took a drive to meet Gordon and Chantel, bonus to long day I got to watch Scarlett for the first real baby sit since she was born, oh grandma is blessed. On the way home from getting her I had time to reflect and the what's wrong question was answered. July is upon us, the month my Calvin was the sickest, Aug 5 is approaching, the day he went home. Once again I'm eating to fill a void that can never be filled. The part that amazes me is that I do this everytime without having a clue it's happening. How weird is that?
I was talking to my BFF Lucie and I told her that once I'd figured out the answer to Christans question I couldn't drive into the DQ for an icecream cone when the thought came into my head, I knew immediatley the answer was no, not doing it. I recognized why I was overeating and that was that. It is true that once you recognize the problem it helps. I could have gone anyway but I just didnt' want to anymore. On the way into town, had I thought about it, I assure you I'd have dived in mouth wide open.
So now what? No beating myself up, no more eating to avoid feeling this month of July or the 5th day of August. I'll feel it, I look at it and with God's help I'll embrace it and remember how truly amazing the Holy Spirits ability to comfort is. What a marvelous sugar replacement that is.
My Prayer: "Lord when it hurts, help us to look at the pain and remember you are truly a God who comforts and cares about our sorrows. "You are intamately acquainted with our ways."
Be Blessed with A Wonderful Day
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Lies...lies...lies!
This mornings blog is different, maybe because I don't want to believe the lie that I can't lose fifty one pounds, maybe because I see so many people struggle with lies people have told them that they have held as truth. There are truths in life that cannot be changed, however, make sure what you believe about yourself is really true....there is a very real enemy and he is one big fat liar 100% of the time.
“The Ugly Toad”
Happy little Tessa skipping down the road stopped by the water and saw an ugly toad.
She never could imagine such an ugly thing to make, couldn’t quite understand it, for the
Toad’s sake.
“Why are you so ugly?” She simply asked of him.
“Oh silly girl.” He lifted up his chin. “Isn’t this so funny, odd I tell you true, I was
sitting here thinking the very same thing about you! You’re a funny little girl with lots of
yellow hair and with that nose and that short little “tongue,” can you catch a fly, I’d say
no, not even one.
“Oh my, no toad, I don’t catch flies, why would I want to…why, why, why? You really
don’t see well with your big buggy eyes. I am so pretty, daddy says it’s true…I don’t
look anything like you.
“Oh no little girl I see very well, if you were not so close to the sky,
you’d be able to tell. You, silly girl, are very, very tall…I see no advantage to that at all.”
“You silly toad, you’re really odd, you must have fallen off your log. I'm a pretty girl I
can walk and run. But you’re just a toad, how can you have fun?”
“Oh little girl you cannot see. Did your brain flip over while you hung from a tree? I can
hop, swim and croak and really, little girl this is no joke, I’ve seen the lake and passed by
boats. I have discovered what really floats. The fish in the pond have seen me play, they
wish they were me…or so say they say!”
Tessa thought for a moment, why is this toad so glad, when people pick on me I get
really mad? Why doesn’t he hop off when I poke fun at him…that’s what I do, it makes
me feel so grim. This talking toad doesn’t give an inch, he isn’t bugged by what I say,
and he hasn’t even flinched.
Okay, I think I know, here is what I’ll do, I’m going to ask this toad, “Hey what is up
with you? Listen mister toad I need to know right now, when I said you were ugly
why didn’t you have a cow? Why don’t you cry and get all upset….I was mean to
you….What part of insulting don’t you get?”
Silly little girl, you missed a part; you need to let this go deep into your heart. This is a
truth that will help you and take away your pain, if you listen little girl you will never be
the same.
People pass me by each and everyday they say mean things all along the way. When I
was a young toad I used to run and cry…but my mommy is wise and she told me
something very sly.
Listen closely little girl and this will help you out. Even if you don’t believe me I won’t
pout. I’ll tell you wise words and words that will help…so you’d better remember and
you’d better not doubt. People always have opinions and they say things that are cruel,
but what my mommy told me was “totally” cool.
Tessa got impatient and she began to yell….”Tell me; tell me toad for goodness’ sake.
Don’t you know that my life’s at stake? Spit it out and I won’t be mad, if it helps me I’ll
be glad.”
“All right, all right, here it is for you. This is what my mommy said when I was feeling
blue. It changed me and it can change you.”
The toad sat up straight….
held up his head….
looked right at Tessa and this is what He said…
“You said I was ugly and others have too….but my mommy says….
It’s only true….if I believe you!”
Tessa paused for a moment, stopped feeling blue, looked at the toad and then she
knew!
Never again would bullies make her cry by saying mean things or calling her four
eyes…Never again would she believe a lie….Mister toad had spoken words that were
true and Tessa let the truth go deep into her heart….from that day forward…mean
words did not tear her world apart..
Jenny Mernickle © 03/02/02
Todays Question: How many lies do you beleive about yourself and how many of them came from the words of someone other than yourself?"
Please spend a little time and ask yourself, what are the lies I beleive.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to walk in truth and to remember that we can..."do all thing through Christ who gives us strength"...and the truth is....YOU LOVE US WITHOUT CONDITION AND HAVE AMAZING PLANS FOR US!!!!!!!"
Proverbs: As a man/woman thinks in his/her heart so he/she is…BE BLESSED WITH A WONDERFUL DAY.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Never Say You're Bored
I'm reflecting this morning, due in large part to the fact that my husband and I are going to be shoveling rock soon. We have to tidy up the outside of the house for sale because the previous gravel, brought in by the previous owner, some 15 years ago, has slowly left the property. Maybe we were a bit abusive, not sweeping it up after the rain would wash small portions down the road. Maybe we didn't care about the rock, maybe we didn't even think about it for these past 15 years. Maybe we are only thinking about the rock that left now because we have to get new rock.
Todays Question: "Are you wondering what I'm reflecting about since I got sidetracked by my rock abondonment issues?"
I'm ready to focus now. When I was young there were two things you didn't do, I'm sure there were more than two but these two are burned in my brain. Number one, lie to my dad. Yikes big trouble. Number two, tell my mother you were bored. Oh my goodness, I'd rather lie to my dad, not something I did, he's scarey. (Disclaimer: Until I became a teenager and discovered he could be fooled.) If any of us said we were bored our mother would send us outside to pick rocks from the side of our eleven acres. She'd be hollering; "You're bored, I'll give you more to do after you've finished picking rocks if you're still bored." Grumble, grumble..."Bored". If we whined about the rock picking we could go pick weeds from her 1 acre garden. That is probably why I hate weeding. I learned really quickly not to say the word bored within a 50 foot radius of my mother. I guess that's why I'm reflecting. I don't have to pick rocks but I have to help Gord shovel them. I feel like I've done something wrong and I'm being punished. I know I never said I was bored.
You should know that Gord is not making me help him, I volunteered. I know...what is wrong with me? Perhaps I was thinking it would be good exercise. Perhaps I considered how hard he's working to make this house nice so we can move into the other one, he's also been working hard on so we can move into it when this one sells. Or maybe because I wanted him to do this job I feel like I should help. Normally when I say we should do something, I totally mean Gord. Why did I notice the lack of rock, I never cared before. Oh and one more question...why do we care more about how our house looks when we go to sell it than we do when we live in it? What does that mean?
Obviously today I am full of questions. Probably just trying to avoid the obvious, it's time to go shovel rocks....hope I don't get bored. :)
My Prayer: "Lord help me to notice the things that are slipping away in my life, before it's too late. I really do feel so blessed and am so grateful for all the beautiful things in my life. Bless us all Lord and help us to appreciate what we have before it's gone."
Have an Absolutley Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Are you wondering what I'm reflecting about since I got sidetracked by my rock abondonment issues?"
I'm ready to focus now. When I was young there were two things you didn't do, I'm sure there were more than two but these two are burned in my brain. Number one, lie to my dad. Yikes big trouble. Number two, tell my mother you were bored. Oh my goodness, I'd rather lie to my dad, not something I did, he's scarey. (Disclaimer: Until I became a teenager and discovered he could be fooled.) If any of us said we were bored our mother would send us outside to pick rocks from the side of our eleven acres. She'd be hollering; "You're bored, I'll give you more to do after you've finished picking rocks if you're still bored." Grumble, grumble..."Bored". If we whined about the rock picking we could go pick weeds from her 1 acre garden. That is probably why I hate weeding. I learned really quickly not to say the word bored within a 50 foot radius of my mother. I guess that's why I'm reflecting. I don't have to pick rocks but I have to help Gord shovel them. I feel like I've done something wrong and I'm being punished. I know I never said I was bored.
You should know that Gord is not making me help him, I volunteered. I know...what is wrong with me? Perhaps I was thinking it would be good exercise. Perhaps I considered how hard he's working to make this house nice so we can move into the other one, he's also been working hard on so we can move into it when this one sells. Or maybe because I wanted him to do this job I feel like I should help. Normally when I say we should do something, I totally mean Gord. Why did I notice the lack of rock, I never cared before. Oh and one more question...why do we care more about how our house looks when we go to sell it than we do when we live in it? What does that mean?
Obviously today I am full of questions. Probably just trying to avoid the obvious, it's time to go shovel rocks....hope I don't get bored. :)
My Prayer: "Lord help me to notice the things that are slipping away in my life, before it's too late. I really do feel so blessed and am so grateful for all the beautiful things in my life. Bless us all Lord and help us to appreciate what we have before it's gone."
Have an Absolutley Wonderful Day.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
No Scale = Can't Fail (This is not a blog post for the weak of stomach.)
Once again I'm in Calgary, ran off with my husband and my grandson for a visit with my family in Didsbury, and then swims at the hotel with Zayin while Grandpa went to his meetings. That means no scale, so like the title say, can't fail today. Yay.
Todays Question: "Have you ever noticed that you make your plans and then your plans make you?"
I planned swimming fun with my grandson, his little body decided throwing up at 5am was the plan. I planned a nice sleep, silly me. The puking ended, and then exit point number two, (pun intended) worked a little overtime as well, three diapers changed in less than two hours. Phew! Zayin is now sleeping and I'm writing, the roofers are keeping me awake. Yay we got the top floor, boo, they are roofing. The whirring noises, the footsteps, the pounding, and then those odd noises I can't explain are all very effective tools for roofing and keeping hotel guests awake. I found the nice letter apoligizing after we were checked into our top floor room.
Grandpa got to meet the nice security man who brought us clean bedding and towles at 5:15am, he also got to wash out and wipe up the puke, Grandma has never had the stomach for that. Oh the plans that change and the adventures they bring.
The plus side, just because I like to be positive. Did I mention I don't have to weigh, no scale. Big plus.
Snuggles with Zayin cause he didn't feel good....huge plus.
Grandpa was with us so Zayin didn't have to help Grandma while she got sick when he did. His mommy very often cared for me when I'd get sick. Sadly I could only stand outside the door and ask her if she was ok when she did. No point in both of us throwing up...I haven't changed. Thanks Tessa...I heart you.
I'll order breakfast from room service. I'm sure the pukey smelling room won't make me lose my desire for a breakfast someone else cooked. :)
I don't have to clean the sheets and towels Gord tossed in the closet.
I don't have to open the closet....wow...gigantic plus.
I'm so grateful for diapers...huge plus.
Biggest plus of all...Zayin and I will lay on this kingsized, very comfy bed, eat our breakfast and relax while we listen to the roofers until it's time to drive home. I love his snuggles.
My Prayer: "Lord help our little Zayin to feel better and please settle his little tummy. I'm not just praying for the sake of my car...but I'd rather it always smelled like leather. Thank you for healing and for answering prayers...you rock."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Have you ever noticed that you make your plans and then your plans make you?"
I planned swimming fun with my grandson, his little body decided throwing up at 5am was the plan. I planned a nice sleep, silly me. The puking ended, and then exit point number two, (pun intended) worked a little overtime as well, three diapers changed in less than two hours. Phew! Zayin is now sleeping and I'm writing, the roofers are keeping me awake. Yay we got the top floor, boo, they are roofing. The whirring noises, the footsteps, the pounding, and then those odd noises I can't explain are all very effective tools for roofing and keeping hotel guests awake. I found the nice letter apoligizing after we were checked into our top floor room.
Grandpa got to meet the nice security man who brought us clean bedding and towles at 5:15am, he also got to wash out and wipe up the puke, Grandma has never had the stomach for that. Oh the plans that change and the adventures they bring.
The plus side, just because I like to be positive. Did I mention I don't have to weigh, no scale. Big plus.
Snuggles with Zayin cause he didn't feel good....huge plus.
Grandpa was with us so Zayin didn't have to help Grandma while she got sick when he did. His mommy very often cared for me when I'd get sick. Sadly I could only stand outside the door and ask her if she was ok when she did. No point in both of us throwing up...I haven't changed. Thanks Tessa...I heart you.
I'll order breakfast from room service. I'm sure the pukey smelling room won't make me lose my desire for a breakfast someone else cooked. :)
I don't have to clean the sheets and towels Gord tossed in the closet.
I don't have to open the closet....wow...gigantic plus.
I'm so grateful for diapers...huge plus.
Biggest plus of all...Zayin and I will lay on this kingsized, very comfy bed, eat our breakfast and relax while we listen to the roofers until it's time to drive home. I love his snuggles.
My Prayer: "Lord help our little Zayin to feel better and please settle his little tummy. I'm not just praying for the sake of my car...but I'd rather it always smelled like leather. Thank you for healing and for answering prayers...you rock."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Oh My Head
Yesterday was counseling Tuesday, some gain, some pain. I have discovered that my head weighs a ton by about 3pm on Tuesday. At least that's what it feels like to me. Maybe I'm not overweight at all, I just have a heavy head. They say that the heaviest part of the body is the head, so it could be true. Whoever they are. I need to find a way to counsel for hours and not feel the weight of it.
Todays Question: "Any suggestions on how I might do that?"
I told my husband yesterday that I could become a Tuesday drinker. I seriously thought about having a drink. He didn't take me to seriously because he knows one drink makes me tired, two makes me sick, so I guess he's not worried. He just smiled and nodded. What does that mean?
I did feel a little lighter in the head, not to be confused with light headed, after sweeping out my tack room, cleaning up some messes the horses made, and saddling and grooming. Apparentely there is some truth to exercise being good for your mind. No one is more surprised than I am by that.
Happy to report that after a good nights sleep my head pain is gone, I feel refreshed and ready for the next challenges. Life is certainly a series of steps, it's the one's that land with a thud that hurt, I may need to learn to step lighter.
My Prayer: "Lord only you know what a day holds, thank you for always holding the day."
Be Blessed Wonderfully.
Todays Question: "Any suggestions on how I might do that?"
I told my husband yesterday that I could become a Tuesday drinker. I seriously thought about having a drink. He didn't take me to seriously because he knows one drink makes me tired, two makes me sick, so I guess he's not worried. He just smiled and nodded. What does that mean?
I did feel a little lighter in the head, not to be confused with light headed, after sweeping out my tack room, cleaning up some messes the horses made, and saddling and grooming. Apparentely there is some truth to exercise being good for your mind. No one is more surprised than I am by that.
Happy to report that after a good nights sleep my head pain is gone, I feel refreshed and ready for the next challenges. Life is certainly a series of steps, it's the one's that land with a thud that hurt, I may need to learn to step lighter.
My Prayer: "Lord only you know what a day holds, thank you for always holding the day."
Be Blessed Wonderfully.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
For Obvious Reasons
Yesterday I took a break from my blog after stepping on the scale. For obvious reasons I'd gained, for obvious reasons I decided not to write. Too much food on Saturday night and Sunday night too much of my mom's delicious potato salad. Ok fine, I had a chocolate dipped ice cream cone from the DQ, it was sugar Sunday and Father's Day, Dave, Tessa and Zayin picked up a treat for dad. So what I'm not a dad, I helped him become one. That totally counts.
Todays Question: "Why is it so easy to fall into old habits and so hard to break them?"
I think the answer is, I enjoy some of my old habits. Not all of them but some. Ice cream is not something I usually crave, but in the summer I love those blasted chocolate dipped cones from the DQ and tiger ice cream from anywhere. I forgot my husband surprised me with one of those cones on Friday night at the condo, I told him it wasn't sugar Sunday and he said; "It's tiger, your favorite." You see why I love him. I have always liked ice cream in the summer. Gord did mention something about sharing and I let him have a bite, but then I just smiled and ate my ice cream. Gordon and Chantel also brought me a yummy Starbucks drink and one of those big yummy sour suckers. I'm surprised I didn't gain more weight on the weekend. It would appear I've taught my family to reward me with food, humm, or did I mean yummm. :)
If you are wondering how bad the gain was, only 2 pounds, and this morning I'm happy to report they are both gone, so as I suspected most of it was gain from driving and sitting, two things that do not promote weight loss. Please ignore all the other things I listed that would apply to that last sentence. I'm just happy that one day of smarting up, equals no gain from a three day long weekend. Oh life is good.
So back to the schedule that is my life, and back to eating healthy and moving more. I started yesterday by mowing lawn and cleaning yard for over two hours in the hot sun. That will sweat the pounds off in a hurry.
My Prayer: "Lord help us all to remember that one day at a time was your suggestion. We cannot change what happened yesterday, we can change today. I'm so glad that you never change."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Why is it so easy to fall into old habits and so hard to break them?"
I think the answer is, I enjoy some of my old habits. Not all of them but some. Ice cream is not something I usually crave, but in the summer I love those blasted chocolate dipped cones from the DQ and tiger ice cream from anywhere. I forgot my husband surprised me with one of those cones on Friday night at the condo, I told him it wasn't sugar Sunday and he said; "It's tiger, your favorite." You see why I love him. I have always liked ice cream in the summer. Gord did mention something about sharing and I let him have a bite, but then I just smiled and ate my ice cream. Gordon and Chantel also brought me a yummy Starbucks drink and one of those big yummy sour suckers. I'm surprised I didn't gain more weight on the weekend. It would appear I've taught my family to reward me with food, humm, or did I mean yummm. :)
If you are wondering how bad the gain was, only 2 pounds, and this morning I'm happy to report they are both gone, so as I suspected most of it was gain from driving and sitting, two things that do not promote weight loss. Please ignore all the other things I listed that would apply to that last sentence. I'm just happy that one day of smarting up, equals no gain from a three day long weekend. Oh life is good.
So back to the schedule that is my life, and back to eating healthy and moving more. I started yesterday by mowing lawn and cleaning yard for over two hours in the hot sun. That will sweat the pounds off in a hurry.
My Prayer: "Lord help us all to remember that one day at a time was your suggestion. We cannot change what happened yesterday, we can change today. I'm so glad that you never change."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Lost my I-Phone.
It has been a wonderful weekend away, such a blessing to get to spend time with my baby boy and his beautiful wife and daughter. Time to go home now and I have this sick feeling in my stomach because I can't find my I-Phone and I feel like such a loser...meaning I lost something of value...not relating to my entire life of course. I had it yesterday morning and have not touched it since. I called Tessa to make sure things were ok with the horses and that is the last time I can remember having it. I was sure I put it in my purse when we went to town, thought I heard the text noise peep as we got into the truck, looked for it and could not find it.
Todays Question: "Why didn't I look on the ground to see if it had fallen out of my purse when I heard that beep?"
I keep asking mself that question and the answer is, I was too busy thinking I'd left it at home. In other words I had the answer without doing the proper research. And research is important. If that phone is in this condo I don't know where. I went back to the two places I'd been and searched, nothing. I fear someone has a new I-Phone since my son tells me the sim card can be changed out, mine will get chucked, and voila new I-Phone for some dirty rotten little theif...ooops...did I just write that. I'll forgive them later, right now I'm annoyed.
I keep going back and forth between disgust with myself and anger that the person who found it isn't answering it or the texts we've sent asking them to call if they have it. Then I think maybe it's here in the condo and I just can't find it. Or maybe I ran it over and someone threw the leftovers in the garbage, or maybe it's sitting on a shelf at Home Hardware, or maybe.......arrgh!
I do not like not knowing where my phone is. I do not like losing things and I'm so happy that I have not had to step on a scale for 3 days. I really don't need anything else to irritate me. I was doing really well until I lost my phone yesterday. Apparently I eat when I do dumb things, I was happy that I discovered that last night, as opposed to yesterday at noon when I lost my phone. I caught myself and stopped after I ate the bag of healthy granola and a big sour sucker, oh and a few potatoe chips after the big yummy supper I made. Oh dear!
My Prayer: "God please help me to find my phone, my fault, my carelessness, and once again me not listening to a prompting. Could I get more than one reminder to listen in the future please. And Happy Father's Day to the best father in the whole world...that would be you. Also grateful for all the others."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Why didn't I look on the ground to see if it had fallen out of my purse when I heard that beep?"
I keep asking mself that question and the answer is, I was too busy thinking I'd left it at home. In other words I had the answer without doing the proper research. And research is important. If that phone is in this condo I don't know where. I went back to the two places I'd been and searched, nothing. I fear someone has a new I-Phone since my son tells me the sim card can be changed out, mine will get chucked, and voila new I-Phone for some dirty rotten little theif...ooops...did I just write that. I'll forgive them later, right now I'm annoyed.
I keep going back and forth between disgust with myself and anger that the person who found it isn't answering it or the texts we've sent asking them to call if they have it. Then I think maybe it's here in the condo and I just can't find it. Or maybe I ran it over and someone threw the leftovers in the garbage, or maybe it's sitting on a shelf at Home Hardware, or maybe.......arrgh!
I do not like not knowing where my phone is. I do not like losing things and I'm so happy that I have not had to step on a scale for 3 days. I really don't need anything else to irritate me. I was doing really well until I lost my phone yesterday. Apparently I eat when I do dumb things, I was happy that I discovered that last night, as opposed to yesterday at noon when I lost my phone. I caught myself and stopped after I ate the bag of healthy granola and a big sour sucker, oh and a few potatoe chips after the big yummy supper I made. Oh dear!
My Prayer: "God please help me to find my phone, my fault, my carelessness, and once again me not listening to a prompting. Could I get more than one reminder to listen in the future please. And Happy Father's Day to the best father in the whole world...that would be you. Also grateful for all the others."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Thursday, June 17, 2010
A Weekend Away-Father's Day
It's been way too long since we had a weekend away. After buying the farmhouse the rennovations have kept us very close to home, and we haven't minded because seeing the transformation has been remarkable. I cannot beleive the difference!!! I truly have an amazing husband, he has worked so hard and the results are in, farmhouse 100% improved. Oh...except for the basement, we will tackle that job when we move in. When I say we...I mean Gord of course. I will help when useful. :)
Todays Question: "Transformation of a farmhouse is alot of physical work. Have you noticed that transformation of the body is the same?"
There are days when I wish I could see the results of my 9 months as obviously as I do the results of Gords on our soon to be new old home. I can see the changes, and I feel them in everything I wear. I do feel better the majority of the time, working harder and moving more does yeild some sore muscles and joints that may not have been used in years. I like the changes and I want them to happen faster. Sounds like I fit nicely into this microwave world dosen't it?
I think a weekend away will be good for me, and especially good for my husband, he's been working way too hard and I'm so glad that he will get three full days off. I tell you ladies if you have a great husband tell him so, they are rare and should be treasured. I don't know how Gord has spent the last six months working long days to work into the evenings and then almost every weekend at the farm. I can honestly tell you I'd be dead. It's all I can do to work a few hours with him, the man is a machine. I'm more of pinwheel, if some wind blows me around so I don't have to move....great! :)
Father's Day is Sunday as I'm sure you know. My husband makes me truly appreciate good men who are good examples to their families. I have been blessed beyond measure by him and I will love him forever.
My Prayer: "Thank you Lord for good men who provide for their families, work hard, support, assist and commit to showing their families a glimpse of what you are like. I am so happy to be a wife, lover and friend to the wonderful man you gave me, thank you for your work in him, he does remind me of You."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Transformation of a farmhouse is alot of physical work. Have you noticed that transformation of the body is the same?"
There are days when I wish I could see the results of my 9 months as obviously as I do the results of Gords on our soon to be new old home. I can see the changes, and I feel them in everything I wear. I do feel better the majority of the time, working harder and moving more does yeild some sore muscles and joints that may not have been used in years. I like the changes and I want them to happen faster. Sounds like I fit nicely into this microwave world dosen't it?
I think a weekend away will be good for me, and especially good for my husband, he's been working way too hard and I'm so glad that he will get three full days off. I tell you ladies if you have a great husband tell him so, they are rare and should be treasured. I don't know how Gord has spent the last six months working long days to work into the evenings and then almost every weekend at the farm. I can honestly tell you I'd be dead. It's all I can do to work a few hours with him, the man is a machine. I'm more of pinwheel, if some wind blows me around so I don't have to move....great! :)
Father's Day is Sunday as I'm sure you know. My husband makes me truly appreciate good men who are good examples to their families. I have been blessed beyond measure by him and I will love him forever.
My Prayer: "Thank you Lord for good men who provide for their families, work hard, support, assist and commit to showing their families a glimpse of what you are like. I am so happy to be a wife, lover and friend to the wonderful man you gave me, thank you for your work in him, he does remind me of You."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Smorgasbord
Yesterday was our almost weekly trip to the very delicious Napalese/Indian restaurant in Beaumont that always has a wonderful smorgasbord, both for dinner and lunch. Yum. It is very healthy food and very delicious food. Not any surprise that we return.
Todays Question: "How many of you think that the term, get your moneys worth and the word smorgasbord mean the same thing?"
I sure did for the majority of my life. In our family if you were paying the price for the smorg you had better eat your money's worth. Or else! No way we were allowed to waste those hard earned dollars on one plate of food. Having that firmly placed in my head as a child I did what any good parent would, I passed it on to my children. Now that I'm older and a little wiser I can see what a foolish mistake that was. It has taken me a long time to realize that the definition of smorgasbord is not feeding frenzy. I was sure that's what the world meant. Turns out it means a variety of things, and is not just about food. Wow, the stuff I learn.
Yesterday I broke with family tradition and did the unheard of. I ate one plate of food at a smorg, with a picking or two of the samples they brought. That's it. What a money waster I am. I also broke another tradition...I didn't care. Goodness gracious, nobody tell my parents. I ate what I wanted and was full after one small plate of food. They have two sizes, smaller than normal and larger than normal. I was so proud of myself for quitting. I heard the song in my head, get your monies worth, get your monies worth, tra la la, eat, eat, eat. I ignorned it and thought, what a stupid thing to do, eat your monies worth and forsake your body. What is happening to me? :)
So...one smorg down, God knows how many to go. I am happily 16 pounds lighter after 5 hours of sitting on my butt counseling and having a smorg. Remarkable!
My Prayer: "Thank you Lord for good days, good friends and a beautiful world to live in. Regardless of the many struggles....being alive is such a blessing."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "How many of you think that the term, get your moneys worth and the word smorgasbord mean the same thing?"
I sure did for the majority of my life. In our family if you were paying the price for the smorg you had better eat your money's worth. Or else! No way we were allowed to waste those hard earned dollars on one plate of food. Having that firmly placed in my head as a child I did what any good parent would, I passed it on to my children. Now that I'm older and a little wiser I can see what a foolish mistake that was. It has taken me a long time to realize that the definition of smorgasbord is not feeding frenzy. I was sure that's what the world meant. Turns out it means a variety of things, and is not just about food. Wow, the stuff I learn.
Yesterday I broke with family tradition and did the unheard of. I ate one plate of food at a smorg, with a picking or two of the samples they brought. That's it. What a money waster I am. I also broke another tradition...I didn't care. Goodness gracious, nobody tell my parents. I ate what I wanted and was full after one small plate of food. They have two sizes, smaller than normal and larger than normal. I was so proud of myself for quitting. I heard the song in my head, get your monies worth, get your monies worth, tra la la, eat, eat, eat. I ignorned it and thought, what a stupid thing to do, eat your monies worth and forsake your body. What is happening to me? :)
So...one smorg down, God knows how many to go. I am happily 16 pounds lighter after 5 hours of sitting on my butt counseling and having a smorg. Remarkable!
My Prayer: "Thank you Lord for good days, good friends and a beautiful world to live in. Regardless of the many struggles....being alive is such a blessing."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Seven Shirts
Yesterday I had another first in my life. I went shopping, that is nothing new, however finding seven shirts in one store that look amazing is. I grabbed eight shirts and one sweater in what I call my shopping race. Tessa, Chantel, Scarlett and Zayin were waiting in the car for me so speed shopping was necessary. I'd put one shirt on and think, wow that's a great shirt, next one same thing, then I thought how many of these shirts can look good. Shocking answer, all of them. Self control and a tendency to be cheap kept me from buying all nine items.
Todays Question: "Do any of you think it's funny that a person who buys seven shirts in less than half and hour thinks she has self control?"
Before you laugh to hard at me you must be informed that I paid $113.00 for those seven shirts, tax in. I also got not one but two $25.00 gift cards that I can use if I spend another $75.00 in August. I can assure it will not be hard for me to spend $75.00 to get $50.00 off. I love sales. My husband often says to me, "Sweetheart, if you don't need it and it's on sale is it really a bargain?" Good thing he's so talented, smart and good looking, cause on that one he dropped the ball. :)
For the record, I seldom ever buy that many items for myself in one stop. Since I've dropped these sixteen pounds, that I am still comfortably maintaining, I don't like the clothes that are in my closet. I'm sure it's because I bought everything too long, to hide my flaws, and now thank God, things are too big. I've also discovered that my taste in clothes has changed...yet again, or maybe I just don't feel as good in fat clothes as I used to. I'm so grateful for that shift in my brain.
I think the real reason 9 shirts looked good on me is because I see myself differently. I'm not angry at myself anymore for having extra weight on, even though I still have more to shed. I'm doing something about my weight and I'm taking it seriously and commiting to change, no matter how long that takes. I feel lighter, mentally, physically and spiriturally. I can assure you over-eating, also know as gluttony, does weigh more than your body down.
My Prayer: "Thank you Lord for change. It's hard sometimes, and sometimes it easier, it is always necessary. I am so glad that Jesus is the same, yesterday today and forever, as your word states. So glad you are and always will be constant and unchanging.
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Do any of you think it's funny that a person who buys seven shirts in less than half and hour thinks she has self control?"
Before you laugh to hard at me you must be informed that I paid $113.00 for those seven shirts, tax in. I also got not one but two $25.00 gift cards that I can use if I spend another $75.00 in August. I can assure it will not be hard for me to spend $75.00 to get $50.00 off. I love sales. My husband often says to me, "Sweetheart, if you don't need it and it's on sale is it really a bargain?" Good thing he's so talented, smart and good looking, cause on that one he dropped the ball. :)
For the record, I seldom ever buy that many items for myself in one stop. Since I've dropped these sixteen pounds, that I am still comfortably maintaining, I don't like the clothes that are in my closet. I'm sure it's because I bought everything too long, to hide my flaws, and now thank God, things are too big. I've also discovered that my taste in clothes has changed...yet again, or maybe I just don't feel as good in fat clothes as I used to. I'm so grateful for that shift in my brain.
I think the real reason 9 shirts looked good on me is because I see myself differently. I'm not angry at myself anymore for having extra weight on, even though I still have more to shed. I'm doing something about my weight and I'm taking it seriously and commiting to change, no matter how long that takes. I feel lighter, mentally, physically and spiriturally. I can assure you over-eating, also know as gluttony, does weigh more than your body down.
My Prayer: "Thank you Lord for change. It's hard sometimes, and sometimes it easier, it is always necessary. I am so glad that Jesus is the same, yesterday today and forever, as your word states. So glad you are and always will be constant and unchanging.
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Monday, June 14, 2010
Watch and Learn
This weekend was very busy and so much fun. My sister, my mom and my three nieces came down from Didsbury this weekend for my beautiful granddaughter Scarletts baby shower. It was so fun. I discovered something this weekend that I've known in my head but it hadn't reached my heart. Watching my nieces ride the tractor, run back and forth, ride the bikes, stand, walk, plop down, jump up, fall out of the wagon and run to chase it multiple times, etc., has taught me that moving is key. And the reason the majority of young children are not grossly overweight. It made me tired just watching them. It also made me smile as I rememberd having that much energy and excitment over the smallest things in life.
Todays Question: "What percentage of movement would you say you have compared to a child, of any age?"
My answer, maybe 15%. I could be exaggerating though so don't quote me. I seem to be looking for something I'm not going to find sitting on my butt. I am way more active than I was before and I'm sure that's why I've kept the weight I've dropped...off. No doubt in my mind that is the reason because I've lost weight in the past, with a mere diet change, and then found it quickly when the diet ended. I have also discovered something a Pastor friend of mine told me a long time ago was true. If you exercise more you can eat what you like more. He has an extremely sweet tooth, and is very fit. I proved that theory this weekend as I moved more because my nieces and grandchildren move more, I was trying to keep up...in part. :) I ate cupcakes for breakfast, I had a banana split and a cheeseburger for supper last night and I am still a safe 16 pounds lighter. I still ate moderately, having what I wanted but not once did I overstuff myself. I can't tell you how happy that makes me.
Watching people move is fun, moving with them is another kind of fun. The kind where you can have a treat and not pay for it. I know that if I ate banana splits for supper every night I'd have a problem, I am not going to eat my daughters delicious cupcakes for breakfast every morning either, the plural was intentional. I am going to have treats from time to time and I'm also going to be sure that my treats equal my movement.
Smart people always learn the greatest lessons from children, that's my belief. God says a little child shall lead us, He also says that the Kingdom of heaven belongs to children. Watch and learn from our greatest teachers, second only to Jesus, and you will find the freedom you long for. Children know that life is meant to be savoured, every tiny little bug, every leaf on the tree and every part of their little bodies, all remarkable gifts from a most giving and loving God. Children never lose their sense of wonder...until...adults start telling them to grow up. I want to be child like again, and even at 51 I can chose that.
My Prayer: Lord help us to enter your kingdom like children, full of awe and wonder, on earth and in heaven, all things belong to you. Thank you for teaching us all through children how truly remarkable this place you have created for us is. Let us watch, let us learn and let us do."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "What percentage of movement would you say you have compared to a child, of any age?"
My answer, maybe 15%. I could be exaggerating though so don't quote me. I seem to be looking for something I'm not going to find sitting on my butt. I am way more active than I was before and I'm sure that's why I've kept the weight I've dropped...off. No doubt in my mind that is the reason because I've lost weight in the past, with a mere diet change, and then found it quickly when the diet ended. I have also discovered something a Pastor friend of mine told me a long time ago was true. If you exercise more you can eat what you like more. He has an extremely sweet tooth, and is very fit. I proved that theory this weekend as I moved more because my nieces and grandchildren move more, I was trying to keep up...in part. :) I ate cupcakes for breakfast, I had a banana split and a cheeseburger for supper last night and I am still a safe 16 pounds lighter. I still ate moderately, having what I wanted but not once did I overstuff myself. I can't tell you how happy that makes me.
Watching people move is fun, moving with them is another kind of fun. The kind where you can have a treat and not pay for it. I know that if I ate banana splits for supper every night I'd have a problem, I am not going to eat my daughters delicious cupcakes for breakfast every morning either, the plural was intentional. I am going to have treats from time to time and I'm also going to be sure that my treats equal my movement.
Smart people always learn the greatest lessons from children, that's my belief. God says a little child shall lead us, He also says that the Kingdom of heaven belongs to children. Watch and learn from our greatest teachers, second only to Jesus, and you will find the freedom you long for. Children know that life is meant to be savoured, every tiny little bug, every leaf on the tree and every part of their little bodies, all remarkable gifts from a most giving and loving God. Children never lose their sense of wonder...until...adults start telling them to grow up. I want to be child like again, and even at 51 I can chose that.
My Prayer: Lord help us to enter your kingdom like children, full of awe and wonder, on earth and in heaven, all things belong to you. Thank you for teaching us all through children how truly remarkable this place you have created for us is. Let us watch, let us learn and let us do."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Baby Shower...Success!
So very happy to report that in spite of some very sugar filled and delicious treats, not forgeting the amazing seafood surprise my bff brought, and one and a half of my daughters fabulous cupcakes, I'm still down 16 pounds. Yay....with a capital Y. Our little Scarlett Lee was blessed with so many wonderful gifts, it took well over two hours to open. The shower was a huge success. I think the laughter made up for the sugar and that's why I'm still lighter, God knows the body was swelling from sitting. :)
Todays Question: "Do you ever just feel so absolutely blessed?"
I sure do, on a very regular basis. Almost all of my grandchildren were present, adorable and so good. The company was great, friends and family are huge blessings, and people are so willing to give, not just gifts, but time and big effort. I hope you all know how grateful we are.
This is the first baby shower, otherwise know as a food event in my mind, that I've attended since I made the decision to change my lifestyle and eating habits. I had what I wanted, one plate of goodies, mostly seafood surprise and some rice crackers. I was full quickly and did not....I need to repeat that for my sake, did not go beyond full. I had what I wanted guilt free and as I said, no gain and remarkably...no pain. It's amazing what a difference moderation makes.
I am one of those people who always wonders how people stay slim. Maybe you are too. I'm discovering that the bible, once again has the answer and I somehow missed it. Ok, whatever, I ignored it. "All things in moderation." It is not about what you eat....it is about how much. You have to know that if I'm seeing the truth of that, slow as my progress may be, it is true. I was sure my body wouldn't let go of the fat without starvation. In nine months I have not felt deprived or angry. It used to make me mad to diet, seriously, grumpy bear. I bet Gord is happy his wife has met with moderation and stuck with it. I have what I want, and yes that includes keeping sugar to sundays, with the exception of my granddaughters baby shower. I'm deciding, not some diet guru who comes and then goes as soon as the next fat hipped fad checks him/her out, I eat what I want. Remarkable how I always thought I was doing that but have discovered that I was not. I was eating anything in site, whether I was hungry or not.
Being conscious of what I do is finally becoming part of my life. Thinking about what I want and don't want, not just regarding food but in so many areas of my life. Learning what things bless me and what things stress me has been huge. Surrounding myself with people that support me and really thinking about my choices has snapped me into awareness. I was a women with two hands that fed me and it seeemed to happen without me noticing. I can't tell you how many times those hands have put food in my mouth and I couldn't even tell you what it tasted like. I truly was not paying attention. I know that in the "industry" that is called denial. They were my hands, I did it and I knew it, but I was very often zoned out. The Zombie has opened her eyes and she is truly beginning to live the life she wants, third person references can be just as effective in stating truths. :)
Hello world and praise you Lord, my prayer is that we would all become aware of the things we do to ourselves. Help us Lord to seek truth, and to wake up from our food induced state to embrace the beauty that is within. Let us walk concentrating on your truth and amazing unconditional love, help us all to love ourselves. Love is the key to our hearts and minds. You are love.
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Do you ever just feel so absolutely blessed?"
I sure do, on a very regular basis. Almost all of my grandchildren were present, adorable and so good. The company was great, friends and family are huge blessings, and people are so willing to give, not just gifts, but time and big effort. I hope you all know how grateful we are.
This is the first baby shower, otherwise know as a food event in my mind, that I've attended since I made the decision to change my lifestyle and eating habits. I had what I wanted, one plate of goodies, mostly seafood surprise and some rice crackers. I was full quickly and did not....I need to repeat that for my sake, did not go beyond full. I had what I wanted guilt free and as I said, no gain and remarkably...no pain. It's amazing what a difference moderation makes.
I am one of those people who always wonders how people stay slim. Maybe you are too. I'm discovering that the bible, once again has the answer and I somehow missed it. Ok, whatever, I ignored it. "All things in moderation." It is not about what you eat....it is about how much. You have to know that if I'm seeing the truth of that, slow as my progress may be, it is true. I was sure my body wouldn't let go of the fat without starvation. In nine months I have not felt deprived or angry. It used to make me mad to diet, seriously, grumpy bear. I bet Gord is happy his wife has met with moderation and stuck with it. I have what I want, and yes that includes keeping sugar to sundays, with the exception of my granddaughters baby shower. I'm deciding, not some diet guru who comes and then goes as soon as the next fat hipped fad checks him/her out, I eat what I want. Remarkable how I always thought I was doing that but have discovered that I was not. I was eating anything in site, whether I was hungry or not.
Being conscious of what I do is finally becoming part of my life. Thinking about what I want and don't want, not just regarding food but in so many areas of my life. Learning what things bless me and what things stress me has been huge. Surrounding myself with people that support me and really thinking about my choices has snapped me into awareness. I was a women with two hands that fed me and it seeemed to happen without me noticing. I can't tell you how many times those hands have put food in my mouth and I couldn't even tell you what it tasted like. I truly was not paying attention. I know that in the "industry" that is called denial. They were my hands, I did it and I knew it, but I was very often zoned out. The Zombie has opened her eyes and she is truly beginning to live the life she wants, third person references can be just as effective in stating truths. :)
Hello world and praise you Lord, my prayer is that we would all become aware of the things we do to ourselves. Help us Lord to seek truth, and to wake up from our food induced state to embrace the beauty that is within. Let us walk concentrating on your truth and amazing unconditional love, help us all to love ourselves. Love is the key to our hearts and minds. You are love.
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Friday, June 11, 2010
Scale Adjustment
There are mornings when I step up to the scale thinking I'm going to be lighter, there are morning when I dred the thought of even going near it for fear I'll be heavier. Some days I'm lighter than I think I'll be, other days I'm heavier than I thought I'd be, and then like today I'm neutral. That means I have three gears when it comes to weight, up, down and neutral. I am a three speed, good news because most of the time I think slow is my only speed, and I'm definetaly a manual with automatic tendencies.
Todays Question: "Do you ever feel like your waiting for someone to shift your gears?"
That would be the definition of me this morning. I need that shift that takes me into overdrive. I need some energy. I know I'm a three speed but I have delusions of high preformance. I went to bed at a decent time, enjoyed many snuggles with Scarlett my beautiful granddaughter before bed, slept very well until 4:40am and then the eyes opened, the mind turned on and I decided to read. Was able to go back to sleep for half an hour before the golf alarm sounded at 6:45. Gord has a day off, which means it's a golf day for him. Now I want to go back to sleep and I will make an attempt but I'm doubting my chances of success. And that leads me back to the scale.
How did that happen? I'm not sure, but since my mind is prone to wander I just follow the rabbit trails. When I stepped on the scale this morning I expected to be down. Yes I had french fries, with chicken tenders, did I mention poutine, for supper. I know that sounds like a horrible choice, but that's what Christan and I wanted so...that's what we had. We shared, and we left well over half the french fries that went with the chicken tenders and under half of the pountine. So between the two of us, we ate a healthy moderate portion. I had salad for lunch, and tomatos and toast for breakfast, some light and little snacks between meals. I call that a good day. (No laughing please.) I felt light this morning, was sure I'd be down. Stepped on the scale and went...what!!!! It wasn't a question. I'm not up, my mind yelled, so I looked closer. My scale had been adjusted, it was not sitting on the line exactly where I like it. Oh dear!!! So I adjusted it to the precise center and then re-stepped. Awww..calm again. I'm still 16 pounds down, although the gap isn't as great as it was yesterday when I avoided chocolate bars at Chapters. Do you think it was the french fries with or without the gravy and cheese?
My lessons, pick one or the other next time Jenny....not both. Look at your scale before stepping on it to ensure the line is dead centre. Relax and note improvements. I left over half the french fries uneaten, and less than half the poutine...that is a big deal for me. I have spent half a lifetime thinking food should not be wasted and thought I was in charge of making sure it wasn't. I have quit that job and am learning to toss quickly and run. ;)
My Prayer: "Help me to remember and embrace that you said, all things in moderation, and that can include french fries and pountine, and dare I say chocolate from time to time. Thank you Lord for wisdom and the ability to chose, two wonderful gifts."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Do you ever feel like your waiting for someone to shift your gears?"
That would be the definition of me this morning. I need that shift that takes me into overdrive. I need some energy. I know I'm a three speed but I have delusions of high preformance. I went to bed at a decent time, enjoyed many snuggles with Scarlett my beautiful granddaughter before bed, slept very well until 4:40am and then the eyes opened, the mind turned on and I decided to read. Was able to go back to sleep for half an hour before the golf alarm sounded at 6:45. Gord has a day off, which means it's a golf day for him. Now I want to go back to sleep and I will make an attempt but I'm doubting my chances of success. And that leads me back to the scale.
How did that happen? I'm not sure, but since my mind is prone to wander I just follow the rabbit trails. When I stepped on the scale this morning I expected to be down. Yes I had french fries, with chicken tenders, did I mention poutine, for supper. I know that sounds like a horrible choice, but that's what Christan and I wanted so...that's what we had. We shared, and we left well over half the french fries that went with the chicken tenders and under half of the pountine. So between the two of us, we ate a healthy moderate portion. I had salad for lunch, and tomatos and toast for breakfast, some light and little snacks between meals. I call that a good day. (No laughing please.) I felt light this morning, was sure I'd be down. Stepped on the scale and went...what!!!! It wasn't a question. I'm not up, my mind yelled, so I looked closer. My scale had been adjusted, it was not sitting on the line exactly where I like it. Oh dear!!! So I adjusted it to the precise center and then re-stepped. Awww..calm again. I'm still 16 pounds down, although the gap isn't as great as it was yesterday when I avoided chocolate bars at Chapters. Do you think it was the french fries with or without the gravy and cheese?
My lessons, pick one or the other next time Jenny....not both. Look at your scale before stepping on it to ensure the line is dead centre. Relax and note improvements. I left over half the french fries uneaten, and less than half the poutine...that is a big deal for me. I have spent half a lifetime thinking food should not be wasted and thought I was in charge of making sure it wasn't. I have quit that job and am learning to toss quickly and run. ;)
My Prayer: "Help me to remember and embrace that you said, all things in moderation, and that can include french fries and pountine, and dare I say chocolate from time to time. Thank you Lord for wisdom and the ability to chose, two wonderful gifts."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Ignored It
After a full afternoon of shopping I decided I could handle one more stop at Chapters to see if I could replace the book my friend Lucie bought me, somehow I lost it. Like good best friends do, she helped me by telling me where she bought it and didn't make me feel bad for losing it. Sad story, no book, good news I found one with pictures for my bathroom rennos that are close enough. Really good news, I don't know if you've noticed but Chapters is full of strategically placed chocolate, in the small bar form, in the individual packet form and in the gigantic bar form.
Todays Question: "How many of you are thinking why is that good news that chocolate is everywhere in a book store, and how many of you are saying that is good news?" :)
Add to this story of good news the fact that I was very hungry because it had been 6 hours since my last meal. I rounded a corner in my search for a bathroom renno books and came face to face with a very tall display of huge chocolate bars of every type. Of course the pictures of chocolate with nuts caught my eyes quickly and I felt that sensation, the one where I'm about to zone out, reach for the bar and start eating it as I walk through the store. That would normally prevent me from waking from my stupor until I handed the empty wrapper to the cashier. At the counter with chocolate on my lips I'd give the cashier a nice brown toothed smile. Depending on her size and drug of choice she's the Dr. with the potential to snap me in or out of my drug induced state. The judgement stare from the skinny cashier would bring instant guilt and the big understadning smile from the chubby cashier...instant joy. And so you know I'm not prejudice, I've seen skinny girls smile when they see empty chocolate wrappers as well.
Ok now that my trip down memory lane has ended I'll get to the good news. I felt that feeling, the zoning out one. I heard the voice in my head say, you are hungry you should eat. Then another voice said, it's not sugar sunday, is this what you really want to eat? The answer was no, how good is that? I wanted to have the leftover hamburger from our BBQ for supper, not a chocolate bar and then eat the burger later anyway, since I hadn't had supper. You know that the tons of fat and calories from the chocoalte bar couldn't possibly have filled me up and junk food never counts as supper. Those are some basic weight watcher rules...mine yes...but still rules. I walked away from those chocolate bars, including two seperate displays at the counter, one so close I hardly had room to set my purse down to pay. I didn't feel like I missed anything, seriously. I felt like for once I'd gained something other than weight, some self-control. Yes I know I control myself, point is I haven't always accepted that. I blamed the force.
I was even a little annoyed at the Chapters people for being so purposeful in their displays. Really, one big box mere feet from where you pay, more along the counter and then two on either side of where you set your purse. Displays throughout the isles so you come face to face with these tempations, book stores used to be safe places. What is this world coming too? :)
Regardless...I overcame temptation, I ingnored it. I actually focused on what I wanted instead of what over-advertising would like me to want.
My Prayer: "Learning to stay focused is a wonderful gift Lord, help us all to keep our eyes on the prize, those in heaven and those on earth."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "How many of you are thinking why is that good news that chocolate is everywhere in a book store, and how many of you are saying that is good news?" :)
Add to this story of good news the fact that I was very hungry because it had been 6 hours since my last meal. I rounded a corner in my search for a bathroom renno books and came face to face with a very tall display of huge chocolate bars of every type. Of course the pictures of chocolate with nuts caught my eyes quickly and I felt that sensation, the one where I'm about to zone out, reach for the bar and start eating it as I walk through the store. That would normally prevent me from waking from my stupor until I handed the empty wrapper to the cashier. At the counter with chocolate on my lips I'd give the cashier a nice brown toothed smile. Depending on her size and drug of choice she's the Dr. with the potential to snap me in or out of my drug induced state. The judgement stare from the skinny cashier would bring instant guilt and the big understadning smile from the chubby cashier...instant joy. And so you know I'm not prejudice, I've seen skinny girls smile when they see empty chocolate wrappers as well.
Ok now that my trip down memory lane has ended I'll get to the good news. I felt that feeling, the zoning out one. I heard the voice in my head say, you are hungry you should eat. Then another voice said, it's not sugar sunday, is this what you really want to eat? The answer was no, how good is that? I wanted to have the leftover hamburger from our BBQ for supper, not a chocolate bar and then eat the burger later anyway, since I hadn't had supper. You know that the tons of fat and calories from the chocoalte bar couldn't possibly have filled me up and junk food never counts as supper. Those are some basic weight watcher rules...mine yes...but still rules. I walked away from those chocolate bars, including two seperate displays at the counter, one so close I hardly had room to set my purse down to pay. I didn't feel like I missed anything, seriously. I felt like for once I'd gained something other than weight, some self-control. Yes I know I control myself, point is I haven't always accepted that. I blamed the force.
I was even a little annoyed at the Chapters people for being so purposeful in their displays. Really, one big box mere feet from where you pay, more along the counter and then two on either side of where you set your purse. Displays throughout the isles so you come face to face with these tempations, book stores used to be safe places. What is this world coming too? :)
Regardless...I overcame temptation, I ingnored it. I actually focused on what I wanted instead of what over-advertising would like me to want.
My Prayer: "Learning to stay focused is a wonderful gift Lord, help us all to keep our eyes on the prize, those in heaven and those on earth."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Yoga Lady
The Indigo date stop with my handsome husbands, on Friday, brought in two purchases that have been helping this slow to change lady make a shift. A 5 workout, 21 to 28 minute yoga dvd, and one book entitled Women, Food and God. Both have been beneficial and both are yielding positive results. Yes I have lots of books and lots of dvd's. What's the difference with these two...I'm going with me, since I'm the common denominator.
Todays Question: "Are you ever suprised by the things in life you should already know?"
Did I hear an Amen? I know for me Yoga works, I like it, and I don't think anyone owns the rights to stretching, so no weirdness just exercise that is doable for me. The book is really just confirming what I already knew but for some reason wanted to ignore. The main message, food is not the problem. Boy do I know that.
I have often puzzled over why I can start a fast and food has nothing on me, it does not bother me and I don't eat what I've commited not too. Once I've told God I'm doing it, done. Rarely do I ever slip up if I'd made a genuine committment to a timeline. You may wonder why I don't make that commitment for a lifetime and there is a simple answer. I'm not an idiot. Timelines have a start and end day that I set. Lifetimes...well God sets those. So, I'm learning to only commit to what I feel I can do.
I'm happy to say that I'm learning I can do more than I thought. Thanks to this blogging process and the healing it is bringing into my life, I now see the value in committing to good health, yes for a lifetime. Aching muscles, sore ankles and joints, high cholesterol and a host of other issues my extra weight has brought on, are doing wonders to illustrate the value of good choices. Giving myself the choice to indulge once a week has helped too. Please note that when special events arise I indulge, however, I am finally learning not to over-indulge. That is a huge difference that does not yield a huge result. ;)
Yesterday I was up a pound, I didn't freak out...something else that has changed. I knew I'd been working out way more, not just yoga but physical work and hours worth of it. I listened to those wonderful comments and trusted that it would be gone...and this morning...it's gone. Back to my 16 pounds lighter weight and I feel it...lighter that is. In every way. The weight on my shoulders is gone and that is the biggest blessing, trust me I'm not complaining about the clothes I wear so much more comfortably or my thinner face. It's just that I had a weight on me that didn't register on the scale, it was my disbelief. I didn't think I could change, I didn't beleive in myself. My friends, I can't tell you how much that weighs, I can tell you this with certainty...it weighs you down.
My Prayer: "Lord please remind us that not only do you beleive in us but You want what is best for us. That is more of this wonderful life you gave us, free from anything that binds us. A person truly is a slave to whatever has mastered him/her. And being a slave is a weight I can no longer bear, I pray you'd help us all to be freed from the things that bind."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Are you ever suprised by the things in life you should already know?"
Did I hear an Amen? I know for me Yoga works, I like it, and I don't think anyone owns the rights to stretching, so no weirdness just exercise that is doable for me. The book is really just confirming what I already knew but for some reason wanted to ignore. The main message, food is not the problem. Boy do I know that.
I have often puzzled over why I can start a fast and food has nothing on me, it does not bother me and I don't eat what I've commited not too. Once I've told God I'm doing it, done. Rarely do I ever slip up if I'd made a genuine committment to a timeline. You may wonder why I don't make that commitment for a lifetime and there is a simple answer. I'm not an idiot. Timelines have a start and end day that I set. Lifetimes...well God sets those. So, I'm learning to only commit to what I feel I can do.
I'm happy to say that I'm learning I can do more than I thought. Thanks to this blogging process and the healing it is bringing into my life, I now see the value in committing to good health, yes for a lifetime. Aching muscles, sore ankles and joints, high cholesterol and a host of other issues my extra weight has brought on, are doing wonders to illustrate the value of good choices. Giving myself the choice to indulge once a week has helped too. Please note that when special events arise I indulge, however, I am finally learning not to over-indulge. That is a huge difference that does not yield a huge result. ;)
Yesterday I was up a pound, I didn't freak out...something else that has changed. I knew I'd been working out way more, not just yoga but physical work and hours worth of it. I listened to those wonderful comments and trusted that it would be gone...and this morning...it's gone. Back to my 16 pounds lighter weight and I feel it...lighter that is. In every way. The weight on my shoulders is gone and that is the biggest blessing, trust me I'm not complaining about the clothes I wear so much more comfortably or my thinner face. It's just that I had a weight on me that didn't register on the scale, it was my disbelief. I didn't think I could change, I didn't beleive in myself. My friends, I can't tell you how much that weighs, I can tell you this with certainty...it weighs you down.
My Prayer: "Lord please remind us that not only do you beleive in us but You want what is best for us. That is more of this wonderful life you gave us, free from anything that binds us. A person truly is a slave to whatever has mastered him/her. And being a slave is a weight I can no longer bear, I pray you'd help us all to be freed from the things that bind."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Down the Kiddy Slide
Yesterday was a fun day with my daughter and daughter-in-law. We took Zayin and Scarlett to the Kids Zone in Sherwood Park, at least I think that's what it's called. I have to say that I like it way more than Chucky Cheese, lots of room to play, bright and clean, healthy choices for food and on a rainy Monday afternoon, why not?
Todays Question: "Do you ever have to face your fears to ensure you are not impacting someone else?"
Like your grandson for example. The play area is parent permissive, translation, parents are allowed to climb the enitre maze, go down the slides, walk on the nets, even at my size...yikes. So when mommy got tired it was Grandmas turn. So up the padded, netted maze I went. Zayin climbing with ease and Grandma thinking..."Are you kidding, that net won't hold me." Fear often stopped me for a moment, I took steps close to the edges of those nets thinking they must be stronger than the middle that sagged when I stepped on it. I would like it if everything was padded with no nets, those hard plastic areas killed my knees. Zayin was having a great time. We worked our way to the top where the big boy slide was. Problem...Grandma may be a big girl...but she is not a "big" girl. Zayin looked into the slide and appeared ready, Grandma got scared and pointed him in a different direction. The thought of him whipping down that slide alone with no one at the bottom to catch him made me sick to my stomach. The thought of me on the slide with him caused visions of dead children at the bottom. Horribly crushed by a fearful sliding Grandma who was sure she weighed too much to be in this maze.
Enter Tessa. She was sitting with Chantel and Scarlett while I was sweating it out in the maze. Why did she show up? "Mom you can send Zayin down the slide, I'll catch him at the bottom." I nearly yelled out, "Praise God." Since we were already close to that big, ugly, dark, narrow, plastic slide of death I decided to at least let Zayin have fun. "Okay Tessa, I'll send him down." So I sat my innocent little Grandson on the plastic entrance, looked down the dark hole and thought, glad it's him and not me. Until. He looked down the hole, he looked at me, realized I wasn't coming and he wanted out. I couldn't blame him and I wouldn't force him, so off we went. I only made it to the first net outside the slide when I realized, I'm passing my fear onto Zayin. Quick pep talk, get over it Jenny, face your fears you weeny it's a kiddy slide. So, Grandma encouraged Zayin to come and down the drop of doom we went. Way too fast, way too narrow and still afraid I'd seriously mame or kill someones child if I hit them, I slid with my Grandson held safely against me. He wasn't the only one happy to see his mommy at the bottom. I was so happy he didn't say...some more Mama...more.
So at 51 I'm still learning to face my fears, and still working very hard not to pass my fear onto someone else. I had to do the same thing with my children every time I'd go into a basement with them, or they wanted to go to play in one. Scarey. At least it was for me. I did not want them having my fears and I made sure I didn't give them to them with much effort. The fact that they ride rollarcoasters, motorcycyles, parachute out of planes, and a host of other things that I would never do, proves that with effort you can keep your fears to yourself. I think that is something we should all work on.
I learned alot going down that kiddy slide but the best lesson, fear is and will always be the opposite of faith. I will to walk in faith. I will also not be jumping out of a plane anytime soon, irrational fear must be conquered, logical fear must be studied and then making the decision that suits you best must be followed.
My Prayer: Lord help us to walk in faith remembering that you will always be greater than our fear."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Do you ever have to face your fears to ensure you are not impacting someone else?"
Like your grandson for example. The play area is parent permissive, translation, parents are allowed to climb the enitre maze, go down the slides, walk on the nets, even at my size...yikes. So when mommy got tired it was Grandmas turn. So up the padded, netted maze I went. Zayin climbing with ease and Grandma thinking..."Are you kidding, that net won't hold me." Fear often stopped me for a moment, I took steps close to the edges of those nets thinking they must be stronger than the middle that sagged when I stepped on it. I would like it if everything was padded with no nets, those hard plastic areas killed my knees. Zayin was having a great time. We worked our way to the top where the big boy slide was. Problem...Grandma may be a big girl...but she is not a "big" girl. Zayin looked into the slide and appeared ready, Grandma got scared and pointed him in a different direction. The thought of him whipping down that slide alone with no one at the bottom to catch him made me sick to my stomach. The thought of me on the slide with him caused visions of dead children at the bottom. Horribly crushed by a fearful sliding Grandma who was sure she weighed too much to be in this maze.
Enter Tessa. She was sitting with Chantel and Scarlett while I was sweating it out in the maze. Why did she show up? "Mom you can send Zayin down the slide, I'll catch him at the bottom." I nearly yelled out, "Praise God." Since we were already close to that big, ugly, dark, narrow, plastic slide of death I decided to at least let Zayin have fun. "Okay Tessa, I'll send him down." So I sat my innocent little Grandson on the plastic entrance, looked down the dark hole and thought, glad it's him and not me. Until. He looked down the hole, he looked at me, realized I wasn't coming and he wanted out. I couldn't blame him and I wouldn't force him, so off we went. I only made it to the first net outside the slide when I realized, I'm passing my fear onto Zayin. Quick pep talk, get over it Jenny, face your fears you weeny it's a kiddy slide. So, Grandma encouraged Zayin to come and down the drop of doom we went. Way too fast, way too narrow and still afraid I'd seriously mame or kill someones child if I hit them, I slid with my Grandson held safely against me. He wasn't the only one happy to see his mommy at the bottom. I was so happy he didn't say...some more Mama...more.
So at 51 I'm still learning to face my fears, and still working very hard not to pass my fear onto someone else. I had to do the same thing with my children every time I'd go into a basement with them, or they wanted to go to play in one. Scarey. At least it was for me. I did not want them having my fears and I made sure I didn't give them to them with much effort. The fact that they ride rollarcoasters, motorcycyles, parachute out of planes, and a host of other things that I would never do, proves that with effort you can keep your fears to yourself. I think that is something we should all work on.
I learned alot going down that kiddy slide but the best lesson, fear is and will always be the opposite of faith. I will to walk in faith. I will also not be jumping out of a plane anytime soon, irrational fear must be conquered, logical fear must be studied and then making the decision that suits you best must be followed.
My Prayer: Lord help us to walk in faith remembering that you will always be greater than our fear."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Sunday, June 6, 2010
It's About You
This morning I'm feeling empowerd, maybe it's because I bought a new Yoga video and I plan to use it. I have been very good at becoming more active as per my commitment...so far, that's my disclaimer in case I need it later...so far. Human nature likes having an out, ok my nature is to have a way out. I'm going to try and ignore that nature and become someone who likes exercise.
Todays Question: "Have you ever thought about how feel about you?"
Yesterday, while on my way with my husband to visit our pretty little granddaughter Scarlett, I noticed when we got out of the car that my reflection wasn't as fat as it used to be. (Disassociation, implying that my reflection isn't me.) Not only from straight on but from the side...my reflection has changed. I said to my husband; "When I see my reflection I'm not as fat as I used to be, I'm no where near as big as I once was...weird." He said; "Yeah! You are a mere shadow of your former self." Husbands, prone to exaggeration from time to time. He also likes to tell me that a good wind could come up and blow me to Calgary. I assure him it would have to be a tornado wind. I appreciate that he's doing his best to be complimentary, if you recall he lacks that gift. :)
What does that have to do with how I feel about me...you may be asking. Well, when I see my reflection and it's not as big as I think it should be, I experience disassociation. I don't see me, I see someone else I'm not familar with reflecting back at me. I have two feelings when that happens, joy and fear. Fear that it won't last, and joy that I'm liking what I see. Next question; "Who is this lady?" Another very good question for me to ask myself. I think it's still me, I think I'm still the same, however, my security blanket of fat is getting smaller. It used to cover my entire being, now I'm feeling a little exposed. Honestly, I got a chill when I saw that reflection, fear could easily be referred to as a chill.
Let's talk about the past for a moment. Normally after I see a reflection of myself I look for food, it just so happens that Treasured Memories, my daughter-in-laws store, has a wringer washing machine by the counter with a ton of chocolates and candies in the tub. It's for customers and their children, Chantel's mom very loving fills it and has even added healthier snacks for the kids...so thoughtful. And since I'd just seen a slimmer reflection of myself, I quickly devoured not one but three of the milk chocolates, or was it four from the tub (speaking of tubs). Saving grace, small individually wrapped chocolates. Thank God! I was not hungry and I do not usually indulge, so I knew it was fear causing me to eat and my past was once again repeating itself. Please note that Cassie allowed me a diet Coke, so grateful. That pop seemed to wake me from my fear induced chocolate comma and I ate up my pretty granddaughter instead. She's so much more satisfying.
Problem? I have got to quit being afraid of my slimmer self. I need to trust that I shall continue to be the person I am regardless of size. I will not become some horrid, I look fabulous monster who makes everyone else who needs to lose weight feel bad because they haven't. I will not sacrifice the truth that is Jesus...He will always be the truth in my life. I will remember that it is the inside, the heart that truly makes or breaks a person...not the pounds, not the fat. I will never be a slave to food again and if that means I have to see my own reflection and be comfortable with it...so be it. I will remember that if God is with me, who can be against me. Greater is he who is in me than he who is in the world.
Remember...I beleive my greatest enemy is myself. The other one...he's been defeated. Praise God.
So...walk on...press on...stop being a doubter, start embracing the entire you...no matter what reflection you see, if you don't like something...change it...you decide, because it is about you.
My Prayer: "Lord, as always we need your help, your guidance and your direction. Remind of us truly powerful your Spirit is in us."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Todays Question: "Have you ever thought about how feel about you?"
Yesterday, while on my way with my husband to visit our pretty little granddaughter Scarlett, I noticed when we got out of the car that my reflection wasn't as fat as it used to be. (Disassociation, implying that my reflection isn't me.) Not only from straight on but from the side...my reflection has changed. I said to my husband; "When I see my reflection I'm not as fat as I used to be, I'm no where near as big as I once was...weird." He said; "Yeah! You are a mere shadow of your former self." Husbands, prone to exaggeration from time to time. He also likes to tell me that a good wind could come up and blow me to Calgary. I assure him it would have to be a tornado wind. I appreciate that he's doing his best to be complimentary, if you recall he lacks that gift. :)
What does that have to do with how I feel about me...you may be asking. Well, when I see my reflection and it's not as big as I think it should be, I experience disassociation. I don't see me, I see someone else I'm not familar with reflecting back at me. I have two feelings when that happens, joy and fear. Fear that it won't last, and joy that I'm liking what I see. Next question; "Who is this lady?" Another very good question for me to ask myself. I think it's still me, I think I'm still the same, however, my security blanket of fat is getting smaller. It used to cover my entire being, now I'm feeling a little exposed. Honestly, I got a chill when I saw that reflection, fear could easily be referred to as a chill.
Let's talk about the past for a moment. Normally after I see a reflection of myself I look for food, it just so happens that Treasured Memories, my daughter-in-laws store, has a wringer washing machine by the counter with a ton of chocolates and candies in the tub. It's for customers and their children, Chantel's mom very loving fills it and has even added healthier snacks for the kids...so thoughtful. And since I'd just seen a slimmer reflection of myself, I quickly devoured not one but three of the milk chocolates, or was it four from the tub (speaking of tubs). Saving grace, small individually wrapped chocolates. Thank God! I was not hungry and I do not usually indulge, so I knew it was fear causing me to eat and my past was once again repeating itself. Please note that Cassie allowed me a diet Coke, so grateful. That pop seemed to wake me from my fear induced chocolate comma and I ate up my pretty granddaughter instead. She's so much more satisfying.
Problem? I have got to quit being afraid of my slimmer self. I need to trust that I shall continue to be the person I am regardless of size. I will not become some horrid, I look fabulous monster who makes everyone else who needs to lose weight feel bad because they haven't. I will not sacrifice the truth that is Jesus...He will always be the truth in my life. I will remember that it is the inside, the heart that truly makes or breaks a person...not the pounds, not the fat. I will never be a slave to food again and if that means I have to see my own reflection and be comfortable with it...so be it. I will remember that if God is with me, who can be against me. Greater is he who is in me than he who is in the world.
Remember...I beleive my greatest enemy is myself. The other one...he's been defeated. Praise God.
So...walk on...press on...stop being a doubter, start embracing the entire you...no matter what reflection you see, if you don't like something...change it...you decide, because it is about you.
My Prayer: "Lord, as always we need your help, your guidance and your direction. Remind of us truly powerful your Spirit is in us."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.
Friday, June 4, 2010
It Goes Without Saying
Todays Question: "Have who ever heard the above expression, "It goes without saying?"
I have, way too many times and last night I decided that I do not like it...and I'm intentionally saying so. So there. It has been one of my husbands long time favorites and after thirty one years of hearing it in various contexts, from time to time, I have let him know that I don't like it one little bit. I'd say I hate it but...that goes without saying. Arrrgh.
For the record I'm not mad at Gord, I just realized last night that when he uses that expression it usually has to do with something I do that he should appreciate. For instance, I want my not so complimentary husbands opinion on my outfit, or my newly done hair, I get the standard, "You always look good babe, that goes without saying." When I want him to know there are things I've done well throughout our relationship I get the, "Dear, that goes without saying."
I'm of the opinion...wait...I have a very big attitude about this expression. What the heck is wrong with saying the positive things you think about people? Why on earth don't people say what they appreciate or see that is good in others? Oh and why don't people go without saying the things they don't like as readily. I've been told several things over the course of my life that should have gone without saying. This stupid saying only ever seems to be used to avoid complimenting or praising someone for a job well done.
You know what I think....? I think we should abolish this expression and start saying what we think and appreciate about others. I think the things that have gone without being said, need to be said and not taken for granted simply because someone has been doing them well. Wouldn't this world be a very nice place if everyone said the good things they thought about someone or something that makes their life better. I love my friends, dishwashers are amazing, my husband is so good to me, my house is beautiful, my body is amazing. I wasn't going to write that last one and then I remembered it functions very effectively in spite of my abuses. You get my point....
Are you slow to compliment and quick to criticize?
Here's a perfect example for you. I have lost 16 pounds and I was complaining about the nine months it's taken to a friend. I said, "Man I've only delivered a 16 pound baby in nine months!" And then it hit me, that's not one baby it's two. Most babies are around 8lbs we decided and I delivered two in 9 months. Good for me. Slow to compliment quick to criticize...I'm hardest on myself.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to be encouraging, to compliment and to hold our toungues in an effort to tame them. Help us to concentrate on what is lovely and true about others and ourselves, and remind us that people need to be built up and the tool for that job is words. Kind words of encouragement that must be spoken to have an empact."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
I have, way too many times and last night I decided that I do not like it...and I'm intentionally saying so. So there. It has been one of my husbands long time favorites and after thirty one years of hearing it in various contexts, from time to time, I have let him know that I don't like it one little bit. I'd say I hate it but...that goes without saying. Arrrgh.
For the record I'm not mad at Gord, I just realized last night that when he uses that expression it usually has to do with something I do that he should appreciate. For instance, I want my not so complimentary husbands opinion on my outfit, or my newly done hair, I get the standard, "You always look good babe, that goes without saying." When I want him to know there are things I've done well throughout our relationship I get the, "Dear, that goes without saying."
I'm of the opinion...wait...I have a very big attitude about this expression. What the heck is wrong with saying the positive things you think about people? Why on earth don't people say what they appreciate or see that is good in others? Oh and why don't people go without saying the things they don't like as readily. I've been told several things over the course of my life that should have gone without saying. This stupid saying only ever seems to be used to avoid complimenting or praising someone for a job well done.
You know what I think....? I think we should abolish this expression and start saying what we think and appreciate about others. I think the things that have gone without being said, need to be said and not taken for granted simply because someone has been doing them well. Wouldn't this world be a very nice place if everyone said the good things they thought about someone or something that makes their life better. I love my friends, dishwashers are amazing, my husband is so good to me, my house is beautiful, my body is amazing. I wasn't going to write that last one and then I remembered it functions very effectively in spite of my abuses. You get my point....
Are you slow to compliment and quick to criticize?
Here's a perfect example for you. I have lost 16 pounds and I was complaining about the nine months it's taken to a friend. I said, "Man I've only delivered a 16 pound baby in nine months!" And then it hit me, that's not one baby it's two. Most babies are around 8lbs we decided and I delivered two in 9 months. Good for me. Slow to compliment quick to criticize...I'm hardest on myself.
My Prayer: "Lord help us to be encouraging, to compliment and to hold our toungues in an effort to tame them. Help us to concentrate on what is lovely and true about others and ourselves, and remind us that people need to be built up and the tool for that job is words. Kind words of encouragement that must be spoken to have an empact."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Uppey Armie Doodleitis
Last night ...upon retirement we gathered together to pray, (I'm trying a new writing style, bear with me) a normal part of our evening rituals. I had placed my hands upon my pillow, mere inches above the top of my head, when my matrimonial partners hand found my right arm he gently held said arm. I informed him in a rather distressed tone that he could not do such a thing. He inquired; "Why not." I introduced him to the technical term for my disorder, uppey armie doodleitis. This is a rather serious conditioned brought on by circulatory issues resulting from another extreme conditon called, sitting on my glutonious maximus too much. With these facts weighing heavily upon me I am sad to inform you, most intellectual readers, that I am in dire need of movement of the intentional kind. (New term for exercise.) Lifting ones arms above ones head, should not result in discomfort and an instantaneous need to place arms in the downward direction.
Todays Inquiry: "How do highly intelligent and perfectly designed human beings, with willful intention, destroy such a masterpiece as the human body?"
I know not why trusted companions. I scower the deep recesses of my mind for answers to this perplexing question and I can only ascertain that we are refusing to use our graniums to their full potential. Portions of our brains have been reprogrammed as certainly as the tortured mind can be bended. My fellow mind controllers this hideous and austentatious behavior must come to a quick and abrupt end. We must be restored, rejuvenated and engaged in the preservation of mankind to once again function at maximum capacity.
I have written with such eloquence in an effort to take myself seriously. I dare say that I am the laughing stock of my community. Perhaps I stand alone in my malfunction, uppey armie dooleitis, to remind you, or perhaps many people suffer as I do with circulatroy issues. Regardless, I will to transform my disorder by action and deed. I pledge to make movement of the intentional kind a larger part of my existence in an attempt to abolish this horrid condition. I am keenly aware most trusted confidants that I have inflicted this hideous disorder upon my persona.
My Petition to a Most Holy God: "Help thy foolish servants Lord of all creation, we have abused the wonderous gifts you have entrusted to our care, we are in grave need of your guidance, direction and strength. We send forth praise to You for your merciful nature and readiness to help in the various manifestions of our negligent nature."
Be Blessed with a Significantly Wonderful Day. (And pardon my foolishness.)
Todays Inquiry: "How do highly intelligent and perfectly designed human beings, with willful intention, destroy such a masterpiece as the human body?"
I know not why trusted companions. I scower the deep recesses of my mind for answers to this perplexing question and I can only ascertain that we are refusing to use our graniums to their full potential. Portions of our brains have been reprogrammed as certainly as the tortured mind can be bended. My fellow mind controllers this hideous and austentatious behavior must come to a quick and abrupt end. We must be restored, rejuvenated and engaged in the preservation of mankind to once again function at maximum capacity.
I have written with such eloquence in an effort to take myself seriously. I dare say that I am the laughing stock of my community. Perhaps I stand alone in my malfunction, uppey armie dooleitis, to remind you, or perhaps many people suffer as I do with circulatroy issues. Regardless, I will to transform my disorder by action and deed. I pledge to make movement of the intentional kind a larger part of my existence in an attempt to abolish this horrid condition. I am keenly aware most trusted confidants that I have inflicted this hideous disorder upon my persona.
My Petition to a Most Holy God: "Help thy foolish servants Lord of all creation, we have abused the wonderous gifts you have entrusted to our care, we are in grave need of your guidance, direction and strength. We send forth praise to You for your merciful nature and readiness to help in the various manifestions of our negligent nature."
Be Blessed with a Significantly Wonderful Day. (And pardon my foolishness.)
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
I'm Certain it Was Love
Yesterday after a very strenuous counseling day I came home to rest. I decided that since my wonderful husband had cooked a nice roast chicken dinner with lots of leftovers, I would make us a nice big pot of soup, before I flopped. So I did. I was finished and way past ready to sit in my chair and relax. I poured myself a very healthy and low calorie glass of S. Pelligrino and added some Achai juice to it for flavour. I was putting that juice back when I spotted a tiny bit of gold wrap peeking out from the shelf. What is that? I hardly had time to ask before the answer came, I recognized that wrap, I pulled it out and it was exactly what I thought...half a pack of Rolos. Oh my goodness...and I mean that.
Todays Question: "Do you ever think that finding an unexpected treat is love?"
I do. Instantly I started singing the song, "I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me?" And that half a pack of Rolos did not disappoint. I know it was counseling Tuesday yesterday and not sugar Sunday, but seriously I needed that treat after the 2 hour session I had. I took those Rolos carefully to my chair, after throwing one into my mouth while saying outloud, "I know, but I'm eating them anyway." And eat them I did, okay savour them I did, all comfy and so happy in my chair. Yummy.
Now perhaps you might be thinking, like I was, boy she is pitiful. But, I can honestly tell you that I will never be that person who finds a hidden stash of Rolos, or any treat I love for that matter, and does not willingly fall into it. Remember that I didn't buy those Rolos, they were Gords. He assures me he didn't hide them he just ate half a pack and put the rest away for later. That disturbs me on two levels, first he didn't offer to buy me a pack. In his defense, maybe because our history has shown that I'd ask him why he did that when he knows I"m watching what I eat, and then after complaining I eat whatever he brought me anyway. We won't even go into how annoyed I can get if he doesn't buy me something when he gets something for himself. And second, who can only eat a half a pack of Rolos if they have a whole one? Seriously, if I'd have found the full pack I can assure it would be gone.
"What's love got to do with this?" You and Tina Turner may be asking. Well, some treats I love, seriously. Rolos are one of them. Other treats I enjoy but I have no problem walking away from. My daughter makes the best Chocolate cupcakes with coconut icing in the world, again...I refuse to resist. You see I can deny myself, it's true and not a problem 97% of the time. But when there is a love factor, the truth seems to fly out the window, or down my throat in this case. So what do I do? I avoid those items like the plaque. I don't buy Rolos because I know I'll eat them, I don't buy those Wherthers Chocolate bags of goodness either, I can eat the whole bag in one day...love them too. I do not keep Salt and Viniger chips in this house...too tempting. I will not buy what I cannot resist....it just seems smart to me.
My point, success is something you have to set yourself up for and little surprises are something you should just enjoy. Although I was very tempted to run out and find more Rolos I resisted and I will continue too. Until it's sugar Sunday and then I will have my one yummy treat. Surprise treats happen once in a while and they are fabulous and I enjoy them without remorse. That is a huge change for me. It happened, it was not planned and I'm certain that it was love because it made me feel so much better. :)
My Prayer: "Thank you Lord for little surprises in the many forms they come in. Thank you for blessings that come from others...sometimes without their knowledge."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Do you ever think that finding an unexpected treat is love?"
I do. Instantly I started singing the song, "I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me?" And that half a pack of Rolos did not disappoint. I know it was counseling Tuesday yesterday and not sugar Sunday, but seriously I needed that treat after the 2 hour session I had. I took those Rolos carefully to my chair, after throwing one into my mouth while saying outloud, "I know, but I'm eating them anyway." And eat them I did, okay savour them I did, all comfy and so happy in my chair. Yummy.
Now perhaps you might be thinking, like I was, boy she is pitiful. But, I can honestly tell you that I will never be that person who finds a hidden stash of Rolos, or any treat I love for that matter, and does not willingly fall into it. Remember that I didn't buy those Rolos, they were Gords. He assures me he didn't hide them he just ate half a pack and put the rest away for later. That disturbs me on two levels, first he didn't offer to buy me a pack. In his defense, maybe because our history has shown that I'd ask him why he did that when he knows I"m watching what I eat, and then after complaining I eat whatever he brought me anyway. We won't even go into how annoyed I can get if he doesn't buy me something when he gets something for himself. And second, who can only eat a half a pack of Rolos if they have a whole one? Seriously, if I'd have found the full pack I can assure it would be gone.
"What's love got to do with this?" You and Tina Turner may be asking. Well, some treats I love, seriously. Rolos are one of them. Other treats I enjoy but I have no problem walking away from. My daughter makes the best Chocolate cupcakes with coconut icing in the world, again...I refuse to resist. You see I can deny myself, it's true and not a problem 97% of the time. But when there is a love factor, the truth seems to fly out the window, or down my throat in this case. So what do I do? I avoid those items like the plaque. I don't buy Rolos because I know I'll eat them, I don't buy those Wherthers Chocolate bags of goodness either, I can eat the whole bag in one day...love them too. I do not keep Salt and Viniger chips in this house...too tempting. I will not buy what I cannot resist....it just seems smart to me.
My point, success is something you have to set yourself up for and little surprises are something you should just enjoy. Although I was very tempted to run out and find more Rolos I resisted and I will continue too. Until it's sugar Sunday and then I will have my one yummy treat. Surprise treats happen once in a while and they are fabulous and I enjoy them without remorse. That is a huge change for me. It happened, it was not planned and I'm certain that it was love because it made me feel so much better. :)
My Prayer: "Thank you Lord for little surprises in the many forms they come in. Thank you for blessings that come from others...sometimes without their knowledge."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
The Birds are Singing
I have yet another first in my life, this morning I noticed that the birds have not been singing outside of my window for a while because they were singing this morning, that is something this 51 year old never noticed before. I googled why birds don't seem to sing as much in the rain but I couldn't find any scientific answer, so I'll go with the obvious, we are not the only ones who like the sunshine.
Todays Question: "Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we sang everyday regardless of the weather?"
I'm sure you have all noticed how much people complain about the weather, when I say people I do of course include myself. I choose to be happy and have a good day in spite of the weather often, but I have to admit that this last week or two of rain had me squawking out a song that went something like this. "I did not choose to live in a rainy Province but in a sunny one. It's enough already." Not that pretty of a song is it? This morning the birds are singing so sweetly outside my window and the sun is shining, I live in Alberta again and I'm so happy about it. I do love the rain and I've made several requests to God that rain at night would be perfect and sun during the day...exquisite. I'd love the sound of rain to go to sleep with and the sound of birds and the warmth of sunshine through my window in the morning to wake up to. I do not ask for much do I? ;)
The scale has matched the sunshine this morning, I'm very comfortably down 16 pounds and even seeing movement to a new number already. This whole eating less thing seems to be true, oh I'm such a doubter at times. The weather decreased my exercise, it was a fabulous excuse. See how positve I am, I found something praise worthy about rainy weather...besides the obvious refreshing of the land. I did do some heavy lifting...Zayin has to be 25 pounds and Scralett plus her carseat is an easy 12 pounds. I have muscle tone thanks to my grandchildren I have not had in years in my arms. I can even stand the sight of my arms in a sleeveless shirt now. That's a big change for me, I'd wear a sleeveless shirt but also a light coverup to hide them from the innocent world. I've tossed the cover up, well I will if the sun stays out.
I like the birds am singing this morning. I love my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my friends, and my work. I feel blessed and tweet I shall.
My Prayer: "God help us all to rejoice regardless of the weather, let our praises to you be as glorious as the sound of the birds singing early in the morning. Let our lives be filled with songs of thanks because regardless of our struggles we have truly been given so much."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Todays Question: "Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we sang everyday regardless of the weather?"
I'm sure you have all noticed how much people complain about the weather, when I say people I do of course include myself. I choose to be happy and have a good day in spite of the weather often, but I have to admit that this last week or two of rain had me squawking out a song that went something like this. "I did not choose to live in a rainy Province but in a sunny one. It's enough already." Not that pretty of a song is it? This morning the birds are singing so sweetly outside my window and the sun is shining, I live in Alberta again and I'm so happy about it. I do love the rain and I've made several requests to God that rain at night would be perfect and sun during the day...exquisite. I'd love the sound of rain to go to sleep with and the sound of birds and the warmth of sunshine through my window in the morning to wake up to. I do not ask for much do I? ;)
The scale has matched the sunshine this morning, I'm very comfortably down 16 pounds and even seeing movement to a new number already. This whole eating less thing seems to be true, oh I'm such a doubter at times. The weather decreased my exercise, it was a fabulous excuse. See how positve I am, I found something praise worthy about rainy weather...besides the obvious refreshing of the land. I did do some heavy lifting...Zayin has to be 25 pounds and Scralett plus her carseat is an easy 12 pounds. I have muscle tone thanks to my grandchildren I have not had in years in my arms. I can even stand the sight of my arms in a sleeveless shirt now. That's a big change for me, I'd wear a sleeveless shirt but also a light coverup to hide them from the innocent world. I've tossed the cover up, well I will if the sun stays out.
I like the birds am singing this morning. I love my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my friends, and my work. I feel blessed and tweet I shall.
My Prayer: "God help us all to rejoice regardless of the weather, let our praises to you be as glorious as the sound of the birds singing early in the morning. Let our lives be filled with songs of thanks because regardless of our struggles we have truly been given so much."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
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