What Happens When a Woman Gets The Flu?

That title is todays question and todays answer is the list of what happens at my house.

Please bear in mind that I was only down for one day, when I say down I mean I didn't have the strength to clean up after myself, or my husband.

1.  Bed not made, laundry untouched.
2.  Gords coffee, grinder and honey, left out until day two when I got the strength to put them       
     away.
3.  Kitchen counters, well lets call them crumby, sticky, papers to and fro, etc.
4.  Sink, and yes I have a working dishwasher, full of dishes both in and on both sides of both sinks. 
5.  Stove, dirty, in so many ways I'm puzzled as to why.
6.  Toaster full of crumbs and counter in front of toaster...same.  (I will add my gratitude to Gord for
     making me toast, it was all I could eat.)
7.  The cracker mess and soup pot reminded me that he did make me a bowl of soup as welll.  (So the
     pot and bowl had to be soaked before I could hope to get them clean...no big deal.)
8.  Back porch and front porch, bits of hay everywhere, also nicely tracked into the rest of the house. 
9.  Both porches full of mud, wet spots and shoes.  Do any of you have a husband who can wear 4 pairs of
     shoes in one day?

I could go on...but should I?

Can you imagine what my house would look like if I was sick for any length of time?  I can, and I tell you people it scares me to death.  I just know that within two weeks those two Brittish women who clean up big messes on TV would show up and say..."Bloody Hell!"  As only the Brittish can.

Please know that I am blessed with an amazing husband who does so much for me...truly.  I just wonder why such a talented man can't clean up after himself.  Why?  Why?  Why?

The plus side of the flu....those three pounds I'd gained are now gone.  Thanks to multiple trips to the lou, I'm in English mode.  I've also experienced something rare...I actually thought it was instinct in me...no appetite.  For two whole days the thought of anything other than toast made me sick, crackers and soup were okay too...apart from that...blah.  Even my favorite chocolates...no desire...none.  Shocking I know.  Yesterday was the first day I felt better so I said yes to a Christmas Banquet...big mistake.  Couldn't resist the temptations...knew I should but didn't listen.

So today, I'm home...back to toast and soup and not much of an appetite.  I add that if you got frequent flyer points for trips to and from the ladies room...I'd be on a beach somewhere.

My Prayer:  "Lord I thank you for the gift of health, the blessing of a body that rejects those bugs that make us sick even if it takes some time, and I rejoice in the care I receive whether it meets my standard or not...I pray we all would."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

Oh Garsh!

The battle to write today...intense.  Did not want to because I'm up 3 pounds, not surprised since I've been eating chocolate everyday.  It would appear that I've replaced my no sugar attitude with choclate and nuts. I keep telling myself how healthy nuts are, the scale keeps telling me how fattening they are.  Stupid scale.
Todays Question:  "How do you stop doing something when it's all you want to do?"

I know the answers, so please don't write them to me.  Although I like to act like a ninny I know I'm not.  I know what works and I know what doesn't.  Seriously, I have no less than 32 years experience at this.  That would certainly give me a Doctorate in Dieting.  You don't have to call me Dr. though.  :)

I'm not sure what will snap me out of this chocolate funk, the scale isn't working.  The brain, although it would seem to be shut off, is merely in ignore mode.  I hear that voice saying, "Knock it off."  I listen long enough to hear and then get up and do what I want.  I told you way back when I started this blog that I hate being told what to do...even by myself.  The brat in me has kicked into overdrive and I may need some serious discipline.  It would appear that I'm attacking the food with the same vengenance I felt after it attacked me.  I know this is a loosing battle but I don't seem to want to go down without a fight.  Now if I could just redirect the battle in a positive direction.

Oh this weight thing never seems to end, I know it's not about the food it's about my emotions.  Turns out I'm way more emotionally attached to this thing than I first thought.  This is my ball and chain and my comfort and reward.  I give of myself and then I put in....my mouth that is.  Yikes!

I'm going to figure this out one day and I'm hoping it's sooner than later.  I truly would love to be free of the yo yo cycle of changing my eating habits.  I do move more so that is good...something positive.

My Prayer:  "God help us when we chose not to help ourselves.  I'm so glad you love us in spite of our faults and failures."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

Winter Wannas

Today's title sums up what's been going on with me, I wanna a chocolate, any kind will do, I wanna blizzard, cause one is happening outside, I wanna hot drink with whipped cream to warm me up, I wanna eat something, anything that will bring up my body temperature.  I wanna, I wanna, I call them the winter wannas.  Let's don't even talk about the fact that Christmas is around the corner and the goodies are popping up everywhere.

Todays Question:  "How does one overcome the wannas when one also wants to shed excess weight?"

No doubt brought on by the wannas. 

It all started after I survived my food poisioning episode, I'd lost 6 pounds and instantly went into recovery eating.  The authorities say it's not good to lose weight fast, so I had to listen, I put it right back on.  Three days ago I was back down 15 pounds, I returned to panic mode and started eating chocolates or chocolate bars, either are good.  I'm managed to get back to a 13 pound lose, feeling much better now.  :(

I obviously have a mental block that I'm not finding, even with all this training.  And immediately I wrote that and paused, the answer came.  Christmas!  That time of year when families come together and I become painfully aware of the fact that Calvin will be home for Christmas, as in home with Jesus, but not with us.  Oh why do I always forget that and feed up first.  Couldn't I just remember it and avoid all that junk that never fills the void.

So snap...yes out of it.  I wasn't going to write today, was trying to avoid the up, down, up, down, cycle that I've been in being know to anyone other than me.  Now I"m glad I did.  I often tell people to pause when they are distressed or confused by what they are doing, I need to learn to practice what I preach.  Stop and think Jenny...stop and think.  I must have thought I heard someone say stop and eat, stop and eat some more, I wonder who that was?

My Prayer:  "Lord I rejoice in your birth, love the way you prepared for us to our true home and so look forward to being with you and my baby for an eternity."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

Snow...I love It.

It has finally snowed in Edmonton.  Yay!  I'm one of those people, people don't care for, who love, love, love snow.  I don't ski, well I can, I just don't.  I'm not a huge outdoor activities person, well I'm bigger than I want to be.  ;)   I absolutely love to look at it, love to see it falling, love the way the trees look, love frost on everything, even my car window.  And I am crazy about hoar frost. (had to google that cause I spelt it the bad way first...woops.) 

Todays Question:  "Do you ever find yourself loving something that most people don't think you should...and wondering why?"

I do, and I think I solved the mystery of why I love snow so much.  I was born in Edson, it seriously snowed on my birthday...August 25th...yep...I'm not lying.  So I must have made the decision to love it way back when, because I was surrounded by it the majority of the time.  It snowed an awful lot in Edson.  My brothers and I used to jump from the garage roof into the snow...and we were allowed, so you know it wasn't the drop of doom, the snow was mere inches from the roof ledge. 

I also love the feelings that I get when the snow falls, it is difficult to define them completely but I'll try.  I get this amazing sense of warmth when I stand in front of a picture window looking out at the snow falling.  Lights of any kind do the most spectacular things with falling snow.  It's mesmerizing!  I'm content to stay home, in fact I long for home when I'm out.  I get urges to bake, and sometimes I enjoy cooking.  Weird hey?  I think ...

Winter is good for the soul, I honestly believe that.  I tend to want to fatten up and I've finally stopped that, thankfully I'm still 13 pounds down, could be a lean winter...let's hope.  I'm so looking forward to our first fire in our wood stove, there is nothing like the warmth from a wood fire, penetrates the heart.  People are all bundled up and moving quickly, remarkable how fast we can move when it's below freezing. 

Winter seems to bring about purpose, or maybe our survival instincts kick in and our minds clear.  Regardless, I love what winter does to people, okay some of the drivers may be experiencing brain freeze, but other than that snow in it's wonderful white purity always reminds me of God.  Beautiful beyond description and way too marvelous for words.

My Prayer:  "Be held and warmed today by God's unconditional love for you."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day.

Bra Shopping!

Todays Question:  "Am I the only woman who really dislikes bra shopping?"

I seriously wish there was some other way.  Three stores, one that ended three letters into the alaphet...I mean seriously there are 26 letters in the alphabet people, could we at least go 6 or seven in before we quit.  I hear bra sizes go all the way up to J, so why on earth would you stop at C?  Do you have any idea how many D cup women I know?  Seriously, we are not rare. 

To be fair, I'm sure the small breasted women would appreicate some minus A's.  I also imagine it is equally as difficult to be fitted when you are very small in stature and large in bust.  Do you think men make bras?  I think they must.  You should see the amazing bras in the perfect sizes.  I was given three wonderful choices for color, black, white and nude.  Nice.  And the industrial strength styling is quite sexy.  Big and ugly. 

I was very happy with two bras I found at Victoria Secret, 38DD, problem, a little "spill".  I'm quoting the assistant.  Do you know they have a buzzer and the girl comes in to have a look at how your girls are fitting in the bra.  Quite an intimate setting, dimly lit to ensure your skin looks amazing.  Little padded chair so you can bury your head in your hands and cry after exhaustion from trying on bra after bra to no avail.  Staffed with women who can contain their horror when they've seen way too many boobs that have gone South.  What a delightful experience. 

Next store, not so concerned about the lights, ready to apoligize quickly when you say you are beyond a C.  Sent me off to the next store, where they go higher, with a smile.

Final store and the straw.  Small but packed full of bras, the girl gave me padding, do I look like I need padding?  After 7 fails she asked if I'd be okay without padding?  Was she kidding?  I assured her I'd be quite happy with less padding.  When I saw the price I was longing for padding, so I'd have a soft place to fall.  $159.00, thanks but no thanks, the $50.00 bra at Victoria Secret that I loved but had a little "spill", was stuck in my brain.  I can lose 10 pounds and wear that bra.  I'm going back next Tuesday and I'm buying both those bras.  Black and nude will be my color choices.  Did I mention that those bras have a beautiful wide back strap that hides the little roll we busty women get to help support or larger chest.  Talk about a bonus. 

So I came home with nothing, but I now have new motivation to lose weight, I seriously have never found a bra more comfortable in my long life.  So if you see me in a week or so in one of my new bras, pardon the "spill"...I'm working on it. 

My Prayer:  "Lord thank you for the wonderful land of blessings that we live in, abundance comes in many forms and we should always be grateful for what we have."

Be Blessed With a Wonderful Day

Plowing Along

The title says it all.  Once again I'm down that same pound I think I've lost 100 times, happy it's gone, wondering if it will come back.  That's the truth, wish it wasn't but true at this point.  I'm struggling with the desire to go forward, not having any problem with the excuses I've used a million times over the year.  I'll give you the top ten.

1.  I'll get serious right after Christmas/Easter/Thanksgiving/Birthdays, etc.
2. Way too much going on right now to focus.
3.  I seem to be starving. 

Todays Question:  "Is it possible for a person with more than 50 pounds to lose to starve?"

4.  I'm happy where I am.  (True most of the time, bathing suits and full length mirrors trigger reality.)
5.  I've been sick and I plan to milk it for all it's worth, or chocolate it.  :)
6.  I'm too old to lose weight.
7.  It takes too long.  (Please note I didn't mind how long it took to gain the 50 plus pounds.)
8.  I don't eat as much as other people so it's not fair.  (Insert whine.)
9.  Why aren't I one of those people who forget to eat? 
10. Why don't I like exercise? 

The questions seem to be part of my excuses.  I manage to feel derprived because I wasn't born skinny, don't have better genetics, don't love to workout and think way too much about my next meal.  Even if it's just a sandwich, I'm looking ahead.  Don't like to miss a meal my friends, not one bite. 

So  now what?  I'm going to rejoice in the things that have changed and make myself go forward.
I am moving more thanks to this farm, my horses, and grandkids, and I'm going to the pool, steam room, and hot tub with my husband at least three times a week.  We bought a monthly membership and I plan (please Lord) to take in some of the classes that come with the membership.  I guess the only way to change is to change.  Hello!!

I am going to have to shut down the excuses, get off the couch, shut the fridge door and resist the temptations that will always be present in this world.  Once again I'll need...

Prayer:  "Lord help us to resist those things that so easily turn our heads, whatever they may be, and find our strength in you.  You are more than able, help us to realize that we are able through you."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

"Poisoned" Yikes!

So the last time I wrote, October 19/2010...today's date November 6/2010.  Oh my goodness where has the time gone.  I was going to make an honest effort, okay a commitment to write at least once a week.  Oops.  That's all I've got.  Ooops.

Todays Question:  "Do your good intentions ever fail to manifest?"

No point in stating the obvious on my part.  I meant to write, I did, several times.  I had my first battle with food poisoning last weekend, was going to whine about that but didn't have the energy.  It was a long three plus days but I survived.  I will never again make the glib comment that I think I may have a touch of food poisoning...I assure it's not a touch, it's a full powered, open handed whack.  Knocked me out and I was down for the count.  Thank God for my husband who served me so well.  I had zero energy, I'm sure the throwing up every hour on the hour for ten hours is what exhausted this 52 year old body.  Can I say that my stomach muscles have never felt so toned.  :)

I really fought the urge to write when I stepped on the scale at day two of my sickness.  Lost five pounds my friends...a plus but it was so not worth it.   I knew that weight loss was temporary and completely a fluid drop.  By day three...three of those pounds were back even though  all I could eat was toast.

Another first in my life, I ate one O-Henry chocolate bar on Halloween night and that was it.  Shocking...it's a wonder I didn't die.  I wouldn't have beleived I could ever eat only one little chocolate bar on October 31st.  I assure you that  has never happened.  I have been doing my best to catch up with full size chocolate bars since then.  Weird how when we feel like me missed something we look for replacements.  Or maybe it's just weird how I do that.

Either way...I'm sitting at the same 13 pounds down I've been at for a couple of weeks, so that's good.  I'm struggling with the desire to eat every treat in sight.  Failing sometimes and succeeding others.  I must be imitating my horses as they try to fatten up for the winter.  Must be afraid of freezing to death or something.  I'll have to dig deeper into that mystery.  For now I have no answers...just gratitude.  I'm grateful the food poisining didn't kill me, and yes I thought I was going to die several times and was scared I wouldn't at others.  It was seriously the sickest I've ever been.  I love being healthy and I feel for those who struggle with health issues on a regular basis. 

My Prayer:  "Lord help us to rejoice in all things, especially our health and when we dont' have it help us to look to you for strength and endurance.  Thank you for the people who love us and care for us when we are sick.  Thank you for your blessings that come in many forms."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day!