So it is exactly one week today until Lent is officially over. I have mixed emotions, fear, joy, doubt, faith, panic, calm, etc. I keep telling myself that if I can successfully control my eating for 40 days I should be able to continue when Lent is over. Then my memory takes me on a journey back to the Sundays off, feast and famine are the two words that best describe those Sundays, I feasted only to find it a little harder to return to famine for the week.
Today's Question: "Why is it so easy to control yourself and why is it so hard to control yourself?"
I can't tell you how much I wish I had the answer to that question. I know so many people who struggle with their weight. Like myself, they are so good at controlling so many other aspects of their life. They are self motivated to work, to keep their homes and families cared for, they can say no to overindulgence's and yes to the occasional indulgence, they control their spending, their tongue, etc., and then food enters the equation and out the window goes control. I'm certainly not speaking for all my friends, some are excellent examples of balance in almost every way...seriously no one is perfect. I trust in that fact to keep myself from banging my head against a wall.
It seems impossible to keep myself aware of who I'm hurting when I lose control. I like to forget that I'm hurting myself, I like to think that it will be in my lifetime that they will invent the miracle pill that takes off my excess weight with ease and gives me the joints of a 18 year old. I've really been struggling with anger while observing this period of Lent, I said I would not post weight but I have gone to the scale and raged over the fact that I fluctuate between no pounds lost and two. Wow...big hairy deal, what the heck, are you kidding, this is ridiculous, why me, what is my problem and wah...wah...wah, why does everyone else get such amazing results?! I was reminded that I didn't do this to lose weight and frankly I wanted to scream when I heard those words. I was like, "I know, but seriously, who doesn't lose weight when they give up meat, treats, processed foods, etc. Mad...mad...mad.
So perhaps what I needed to learn during this season of Lent is that we don't always see the evidence of the good choices, works, words, or whatever it is we give up for any number of reasons in this lifetime. Maybe my anger is the problem, if I don't see the results I think I should get, I get mad. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world whose ever done something positive to see change and never saw it. Feeling sorry for myself, although enjoyable at times, is non-productive, will accomplish no lasting change and perhaps this older body of mine is just tired of my yo-yo habits. The more I live the more I realize, I will never be done learning, growing and changing. Perhaps learning to chose what is right simply for the sake of doing what is right should be my goal. Regardless of the visible rewards.
My Prayer: "Change us from the inside out Lord and help us all to chose wisely each day what and who we will serve."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
Today's Question: "Why is it so easy to control yourself and why is it so hard to control yourself?"
I can't tell you how much I wish I had the answer to that question. I know so many people who struggle with their weight. Like myself, they are so good at controlling so many other aspects of their life. They are self motivated to work, to keep their homes and families cared for, they can say no to overindulgence's and yes to the occasional indulgence, they control their spending, their tongue, etc., and then food enters the equation and out the window goes control. I'm certainly not speaking for all my friends, some are excellent examples of balance in almost every way...seriously no one is perfect. I trust in that fact to keep myself from banging my head against a wall.
It seems impossible to keep myself aware of who I'm hurting when I lose control. I like to forget that I'm hurting myself, I like to think that it will be in my lifetime that they will invent the miracle pill that takes off my excess weight with ease and gives me the joints of a 18 year old. I've really been struggling with anger while observing this period of Lent, I said I would not post weight but I have gone to the scale and raged over the fact that I fluctuate between no pounds lost and two. Wow...big hairy deal, what the heck, are you kidding, this is ridiculous, why me, what is my problem and wah...wah...wah, why does everyone else get such amazing results?! I was reminded that I didn't do this to lose weight and frankly I wanted to scream when I heard those words. I was like, "I know, but seriously, who doesn't lose weight when they give up meat, treats, processed foods, etc. Mad...mad...mad.
So perhaps what I needed to learn during this season of Lent is that we don't always see the evidence of the good choices, works, words, or whatever it is we give up for any number of reasons in this lifetime. Maybe my anger is the problem, if I don't see the results I think I should get, I get mad. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world whose ever done something positive to see change and never saw it. Feeling sorry for myself, although enjoyable at times, is non-productive, will accomplish no lasting change and perhaps this older body of mine is just tired of my yo-yo habits. The more I live the more I realize, I will never be done learning, growing and changing. Perhaps learning to chose what is right simply for the sake of doing what is right should be my goal. Regardless of the visible rewards.
My Prayer: "Change us from the inside out Lord and help us all to chose wisely each day what and who we will serve."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
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