One Week Off

This morning I'm declaring a fast, no less than one day for sure, I seriously need to get a grip and figure out why I'm crashing on this change in eating habits. I'm not starving, I like how I eat, I'm suppose to treat myself once a week and it's turned into once a day, somedays more. Yesterday I declared it no sugar Sunday and did great until I found out Tessa made cupcakes and Dave made yummy white chocolate scones, we went to their house for dinner. How does a girl resist that?

Today's Question: "Am I the only person who thinks if you exercise way more you should eat way more?"

I hope not! We have been working like crazy at the farm to get the fence in, it started on Friday morning and ended on Sunday early evening. We have a collection of sore arms, shoulders, legs, hands, etc., we got our pudding shook by the post hole auger, got scratches from the cedar fence rails, and I got a scratched arm from the post hole auger hitting a rock and throwing me into the side of the garage, it was fun. :) And I"m not kidding, the fence looks amazing, even mixing the concrete was fun...ok Gord mixed it I added the water, you need just the right amount. It seems like the work never ends but the work is enjoyable so we don't mind. Weird hey?

The one week off title? I'm not posting weight for one week. The why answer, I plan to do some fasting and that will mean weight loss, then when I start eating again that will mean gain, so I figure if I fast for a day or two or three, I'll need a day or two or three to get an accurate read. This is not about loosing weight for me, it's about getting a grip and spending some time away from food for some answers. I've found that fasting is a good way to refocus. I'm feeling like this issue is the kind that will only come out with fasting and prayer. ;)

I refuse to go backwards at this point...I refuse to quit. And I'm not just going to keep doing what I"m doing, although the eating plan is good, I'm not sticking to it. Once again the problem is me, I will not be afraid of my own success, so I'll find the answers with God's help and when I do, I'll happily share them with you.

Disclaimer: Please be advised that I intend to write. Please remember I'll be fasting and may say some things I'll regret when I'm not hungry enough to eat my arm. I made the decision last night to fast and this morning I feel like my stomach has caved in, that is of course ridiculous because it should still have half a scone, a cupcake and cheesy pasta and ribs in it. We had a late dinner so no chance of starvation here. Pardon any posts with bad language or rude comments. I think I've covered it all, oh...do not offer to feed me. I'll be on liguids only, so give me drinks, I may be looking for people with the hard stuff so remind me that I can't handle hard stuff. (Kidding, I can totally hande it.) (Kidding, I don't like hard stuff, must be tied in to my thoughts on exercise...that's hard stuff and I don't like it.) If you see Gord, tell him not to buy me ice cream cones from the DQ, and for his sake tell him not to bug me. :)

My Prayer: "Lord you said if any one lacks wisdom we should ask you, so I'm asking for wisdom and the insights I need to go forward, to get free. Help me Lord and others who struggle in anyway to find their answers in You. I'm so glad you are interested in all aspects of our lives."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

The Winner Is?

I did my first contest for Canada Day and I have to say...not so good...but for you Joanna, good news you win two tickets to see a movie. Send me a message with your address. For the rest of you, I'm not sure why you didn't post a one sentence reason you love your country because I know you all do.

So next time I do a contest, more notice and clearer posting.

Which reminds me, I need more notice of changes please God and clearer posting in my life. :)

Todays Question: "Do you ever feel like things are changing and your ready and your not."

If so, you are where I am. I want to move and I want the change it brings, but I'm still hanging on. To what? Not sure anymore, I can feel the resistance but can no longer define it. I know it's happening because I'm constantly comforting myself with sugar treats. Still no end to that, I've declared this to be no sugar Sunday. Yesterday was half a piece of cake and a DQ dipped cone. Oh dear...I'll say it again...oh dear. I have known exactly what I'm doing everytime I say yes to sugar, and here's the worst part....don't care. Such attitude, such defiance, such resistance to change. It would appear that I'm comfortable being lighter, and am not so sure I want to go farther. So I'm holding.

I wonder how long it will take for me to lose my hold on these 15 pounds if I continue with the sugar? I'm guessing not long. So now what? Oh I wish I knew.

My tactic, I think I may have to fast for at least a day, just to remind myself that I won't die if I don't eat. I'll also need the time to pray and think about the answer to the why I'm resisting change again.

Well one thing never changes in my life...I'm slow to change. ;)

My Prayer: "Lord help me, help us, we all struggle with change and feel so uncomfortable about it, and yet we know it's a huge part of moving forward. Once again I'm grateful you are new every morning and the same, yesterday, today and forever."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

And I love this Country because it is where my maker wanted me." Hope you had a wonderful Canada Day!!!!

Bad Dreams

I am one of those people who dreams often. I usually always remember the morning dreams. I can't say if I remember the evening ones, unless they wake me up because they are so bad. Most of my dreams are just ridiculous, not scary just odd, I'm all over the place in my dreams. This morning's dream is still bugging me. It was about my husband, he was no longer addicted to cigarettes, this time some kind of berry, came from the ground like a potato, was like a tomato on the bottom and an onion on top, and here is the weirdest part, inside shinny silver jaw breakers, the really small ones. I was pulling them from the dirt and tossing them into his lap, he was so happy with his stupid fruit drug and was telling me all about how the Dr. said they were very bad for him. He knew he needed to quit but the smile on his face was all the dream evidence I needed to not beleive him. (I was weeding the garden yesterday.) I was so mad at him when I woke up this morning. Still processing this one. The only answer I have is that I'd asked him last night if he was chewing Nicorette gum, he said no, I doubted it.

Todays Question: "Do you ever have dreams that are so far out there you wonder what happens to your brain while you are sleeping?"

If so, good, I'm not alone. I was not mad at Gord, so he's not to blame, I have these weird dreams where I can't make him do what I want often. I do realize they are tied to my control issues. Would that I could control myself when I'm awake, never mind Gord while he's sleeping. :) As I write I'm sitting here thinking that my idea of a bad dream is anyone, or anything happening outside of my control. Isn't that revealing? Thankfully the reality of my life is that I didn't marry a man who can be controlled, I should have known that...he was the boss on the jobsite we met at over 30 years ago. I think that's one of the things I like the most about Gord, he is a take charge guy, another way of saying he likes to control things. I love that he is self-motivated, and runs like the energizer bunny. I like to control things from my chair. Oh dear.

One more revealing aspect of note, in my dream Gord was addicted to candy and a fruit thing; I was craving fruit last night before I went to bed and I had a peppermint before I went to bed. Oh dear, maybe I should be mad at myself. No more questions before bed, no more eating a peppermint after dinner and no more going to bed craving something. Obviously a bad combination.

Good news, since I'm into rambling this morning, I am 1 pound lighter and closer to 2. Yay, so the way I count, 15 pounds restored, one to go. I'm slowly getting a grip again. I said slowly, I know I had a peppermint yesterday and it wasn't sugar sunday. Honestly I'm still struggling with sugar, it is getting better, yesterday it was two little chocolates, day before that chocolate strawberry. Please note the improvement is that peppermints are smaller, in case you missed it. Today...I'm going for no sugar treats. Tonight I'm going for no dreams.

I have to say that blogging about a bad dream is very revealing, you should try it sometime. It's kinda fun. Also, I remain very happy with my husband and yes...even more happy that he is a man who does not let his wife control him, even better, he does things for me because he loves too and wants too...and that is better than any tomoto bottomed, onion topped, candy filled drug thingy. :)

(Remember if you read yesterdays blog and post a comment about why you love your country you could win a prize. I'm making the draw on Sunday night.)

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

Praying you wouldn't have any bad dreams and that God would bless you with insights while you are awake...as opposed to sleeping.

Losing Ground

I've discovered this morning that the terms gaining ground and losing ground have dual meanings, in regard to the positive or negative aspect of things. I am now loosing ground, which means the ground I gained, or should I say the pounds I gained, are now losing ground. I'm still at two pounds up from my sixteen pound drop, however, the upward motion of the scale is losing ground and I can see that one of those pounds is almost gone. Yahoo.

And...Happy Canada Day to all my fellow Canadians, to my American readers I say a Happy 4th of July as well, in advance. I love this Country and I know exactly how blessed I am to have been born here. I've seen eleven different countries and I still get the most amazing feeling everytime the pilot tells us we have entered Canadian airways. Truly there is something so powerful about coming home, I can't imagine how great heaven will be.

Todays Question: "Would you post me a comment and tell me why you love your country?"

It does not have to be long. Pretend you have to give one answer, you can make it a longer sentence, just remember it will be read by others so give them one sentence that will make them want to see your Country. I will give a prize for the answer I think is best. I'm not telling the prize, but if you know me, I give good presents. :)

My one sentence; "Canada is a country of extraordinary beauty, the thing I like the very most is living in a Country where I feel protected and cared for on so many levels."

I could say more, but I can't win this contest so I won't. Be assured I know that Canada rocks.

I plan to celebrate this day for the most part in my heart. Truly I would not have wanted to be born anywhere else, and I hope that you all feel the same way about your Country.

My Prayer: "All things are created by you Lord, this is truly a remarkable place you have made for us. Thank you for each Country, bless the land and it's people."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day

HAPPY CANADA DAY