Avoidance Does Not Work

Can't pretend that I didn't write yesterday because I was too busy. Got up, went and weighed, came back to my laptop, didn't write, avoided it.

Todays Question: "Can you guess why?"

Indeed! You are correct if you mentioned the word gain. The sugar has once again snuck from Sunday to an almost daily occurance and the scale has very efficiently added the salted sunflower seeds and those sugar sneeks up. The total today is 2 pounds. Blasted sugar, stupid salty foods. Oh wait was I blaming those inatimate objects again? It would appear so.

So at lunch, I was having the salad bar, with Tessa, Zayin and Christan I ate a chocolate covered strawberry. Christan said you'll have to blog about it, Tessa asked the why are you doing this question and Zayin...I love him...he said some more, some more. I listened to Zayin, he's smarter than all of us, and he says what Grandma likes to hear. Christan asked me the why are you doing this question. I thought about seriously for a minute but I got nothing that seemed true. So I ignored that question after a little thought.

Until....the end of very busy day, with over 50 phone calls and hardly any time to sit and relax, I took a drive to meet Gordon and Chantel, bonus to long day I got to watch Scarlett for the first real baby sit since she was born, oh grandma is blessed. On the way home from getting her I had time to reflect and the what's wrong question was answered. July is upon us, the month my Calvin was the sickest, Aug 5 is approaching, the day he went home. Once again I'm eating to fill a void that can never be filled. The part that amazes me is that I do this everytime without having a clue it's happening. How weird is that?

I was talking to my BFF Lucie and I told her that once I'd figured out the answer to Christans question I couldn't drive into the DQ for an icecream cone when the thought came into my head, I knew immediatley the answer was no, not doing it. I recognized why I was overeating and that was that. It is true that once you recognize the problem it helps. I could have gone anyway but I just didnt' want to anymore. On the way into town, had I thought about it, I assure you I'd have dived in mouth wide open.

So now what? No beating myself up, no more eating to avoid feeling this month of July or the 5th day of August. I'll feel it, I look at it and with God's help I'll embrace it and remember how truly amazing the Holy Spirits ability to comfort is. What a marvelous sugar replacement that is.

My Prayer: "Lord when it hurts, help us to look at the pain and remember you are truly a God who comforts and cares about our sorrows. "You are intamately acquainted with our ways."

Be Blessed with A Wonderful Day