Uppey Armie Doodleitis

Last night ...upon retirement we gathered together to pray, (I'm trying a new writing style, bear with me) a normal part of our evening rituals.  I had placed my hands upon my pillow, mere inches above the top of my head, when my matrimonial partners hand found my right arm he gently held said arm.  I informed him in a rather distressed tone that he could not do such a thing.  He inquired; "Why not."  I introduced him to the technical term for my disorder, uppey armie doodleitis.  This is a rather serious conditioned brought on by circulatory issues resulting from another extreme conditon called, sitting on my glutonious maximus too much.  With these facts weighing heavily upon me I am sad to inform you, most intellectual readers, that I am in dire need of movement of the intentional kind.  (New term for exercise.)  Lifting ones arms above ones head, should not result in discomfort and an instantaneous need to place arms in the downward direction.

Todays Inquiry:   "How do highly intelligent and perfectly designed human beings, with willful intention, destroy such a masterpiece as the human body?"

I know not why trusted companions.  I scower the deep recesses of my mind for answers to this perplexing question and I can only ascertain that we are refusing to use our graniums to their full potential.  Portions of our brains have been reprogrammed as certainly as the tortured mind can be bended.  My fellow mind controllers this hideous and austentatious behavior must come to a quick and abrupt end.  We must be restored, rejuvenated and engaged in the preservation of mankind to once again function at maximum capacity. 

I have written with such eloquence in an effort to take myself seriously.  I dare say that I am the laughing stock of my community.  Perhaps I stand alone in my malfunction, uppey armie dooleitis, to remind you, or perhaps many people suffer as I do with circulatroy issues.  Regardless, I will to transform my disorder by action and deed.  I pledge to make movement of the intentional kind a larger part of my existence in an attempt to abolish this horrid condition.  I am keenly aware most trusted confidants that I have inflicted this hideous disorder upon my persona.

My Petition to a Most Holy God:  "Help thy foolish servants Lord of all creation, we have abused the wonderous gifts you have entrusted to our care, we are in grave need of your guidance, direction and strength.  We send forth praise to You for your merciful nature and readiness to help in the various manifestions of our negligent nature."

Be Blessed with a Significantly Wonderful Day.  (And pardon my foolishness.)