An Exercise in Self-Control

I have good news today, I'm down 2 pounds and have once again hit the ten pound mark. I think this is the third time if my math is right, yikes!  Now before you or I pull out any celebratory comments or rewards I need to tell you that I fasted yesterday.  I may be up tomorrow as a result since I plan to eat today, I do not plan to eat too much, although at this point I feel like ordering in the hungry man's breakfast, with extra everything. 

Todays Question:  "Why fast when you can eat?"

Good question.  Answer, fasting is a very good exercise in self control and since coming back from Africa and losing control, I knew it was time.  I needed to be reminded that I could in fact deny myself.  I had hoped to forget that while I listened to that sweet overindulgent voice that takes control of my brain from time to time.  Fasting is also good for the soul, it reminds me that God is my source, He sustains me and everytime I don't die of starvation after a fast I'm grateful. Even though I'm painfully aware that I could live for three or four months on my belly fat alone.

Fasting is also a very good rest for the body.  I make sure I drink very healthy things, protien drinks, pure juices and herbal teas, just to nurish myself. However, giving your body a day off every once in a while has proven benefits.  Every organ gets a much needed break, the colon cleanses, the liver rejuvinates and the brain clears.  I know that last ones true because fasting always makes me realize I'm in control of what I eat.  Every other day I think it's some outside force that remains nameless.  I sure don't want to throw the name Jenny out there as the cause, even though I know it's true.  My overfed foggy brain is such a good liar.  Blasted fasting brain always highlights the truth and reveals the problem, me.

I'm not telling anyone to fast, I'm just letting you know that for me self denial is good.  I need to remember that I got myself into this overweight state, nobody was stuffing the food down my throat.  I dont' deny that there are times when it feels like something has taken over your body and you are blindly eating.  I have experienced that and it is very confusing.  You know you did it but nothing inside of you seems able to explain why.   I remember being very upset after an extremely large binge, I came up to my room in a daze, I asked God why I did that and He said, "You are out of control."  And that was exactly how I felt, like I had no control over myself.  That truth penetrated me.

The solution?  One word answer....YOU!  God did not say to me, "Your control has been taken from you."  He said, "YOU are out of control."  It does feel like I've lost control, I know from way too many experiences that is true, but, the reality is I've surrendered it.  I gave in and let that feeling take over me, it was easier than facing it.  Whatever "it" is that sends you into that state, lonliness, fear, anger, emptyness, anxiety, sorrow and for some of us happiness, it needs to be seen and felt for what it is, an emotion.  We must not let our emotions control us.  We have the power and an amazing helper on our side.  Feel it and let it go, surrender your control over the situation because you don't have it anyway, you can only control what you do with your feelings, accept and embrace the fact that you are a feeling human being.  Years of experience have taught me that I can only control myself, we get in serious trouble when we think we can control others.

Yesterday I asked you to stand in the mirror and see your beauty, I really hope you did.  Today take another look in the mirror, the only person looking back at you is you.  That is and always will be the only person you can control.  Remember that and your life will be much better. 


Be blessed with a wonderful day.