Well I'm home. It feels wonderful and I'm so glad I went. All my fears were unwarranted, well most of them, thank God. I discovered something about Africa I hadn't expected too, they love to fry their food, yes that includes vegetables. Gaining weight did not surprise me, was hoping to loose but did not. I'm up six pounds but will likely see a drop by tomorrow since my ankles swelled to balloon size from the flights. I give new meaning to fluid retention.
Todays question: "What did I learn about myself in Africa?"
Of course that question is regarding my eating habits for the most part, what I learned as a person will take months to process. So, truth number one, I did wonderfully watching what I ate until the day after I finished the conference. I had no desire to overeat before. So from the time I left, which was Saturday, to the following Saturday which was the training seminar and the end of the conference...wonderful. From Sunday afternoon until this morning, the words that come to mind, "Feeding Frenzy." Oh dear!
Number two, I felt full for the first time since I started this blogging process on September 1/09. I mean overly full as in uncomfortable. It started right after church with a wonderfully fried smorgasboard. Fried potatoes...no not french fries but whole potatoes deep fried and then roasted, you know to make them healthier. Fried pumpkin, sprinkled with cinamon and sugar and probably butter...not sure, but so good. Fried fish, so fresh I was looking at the Indian Ocean it just came from out the window. Desserts, now those who know me are aware that I am "not" a dessert person, Africa has changed that status. I'm not a Canadian dessert person.
Number three I eat when I'm emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausted. Yep, that is what I do. I was missing my family, missing my friends, missing my country and seeing so many wonderful and difficult things at the same time. I poured out with God's wonderful help and then I put into my mouth, never asked God for help with that, my bad. Instead of asking God to fill me up after I poured out, I filled myself up with food.
I saw one beautiful work of God's creation after another, I saw Him move powerfully in the women we ministered too. I saw how remarkable His compassion is and how quick He is to respond to the cries of the poor. I saw a country so beautiful it cannot be described, I saw people so persevering it shames me to even think I understand suffering. I realized how truly blessed we Canadians are and I realized how truly blessed the South Africans are. What they have I long for, what we have they long for. That was our common ground, I needed to share in their suffering to appreciate what I have, they needed to see that they are not the only ones who have experienced pain. They also needed to see that God loves them and provides for them and sit down my friends...He uses people. We all need God and we all need to be God's hands and feet extended...in "any" Country. I loved the people of Jeffrey's Bay and I can honestly tell you they loved Tessa and I so wonderfully. Accepted us and blessed us beyond what we expected, they showed us how beautifully people respond to love.
God reminded me on this South African journey that He is the perfect picture of "unconditional" love. He loves us all the same. If I could truly grasp that I wouldn't reach for food when I feel empty. I wouldn't need to eat to feel full, I'd understand what Jesus meant when he said to his disciples in John 4:34, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to accomplish His work."
Feeding the poor is our work, it is our responsibilty, those who have should give to those who have not. I needed to learn that God feeds us in ways that have nothing to do with the physical food but rather the spiritual food. Funny how I grabbed for fleshy food right after I'd poured out God's spiritual food to the truly hungry. Funny in that sad kinda way.
Please Lord help me to learn that eating will never satsify the hunger I have to be more like You or the desire I have to accomplish your will. You are "so" willing to fill me up if I would just ask.
Be blessed with a wonderfully "full" "filling" day. I missed you my friends.
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