This would not be frustration over weight loss or gain but rather frustration that only someone extremely close to you can enduce. This may or may not come as surprise to some you, my husband can frustrate me like no one else. He is amazing and I love him the most, second only to Jesus, but I tell you there are days when I feel like he is going to make me explode. Fortuantely they don't happen often, but when they do, yikes. I see a side of myself that I do not like and seem powerless to change.
Todays Question: "Why do the people we love the most frustrate us the most?"
Oh my Lord I wish I had the answer. However, I do not. I feel my temperature boiling, I know I'm being a jerk. You would think this saint would know to stop, reality, I had to be made saintly, I assure you it is not in me. So all I can do is ask God to help me, I don't seem able to help myself.
I would love it if I could just stop writing now, if I could leave you all with the impression that I am powerless to change. Poor me. Once again I'm getting one of those reality checks, I prefer cash. I have the power to change, I chose to go with my anger, I chose to respond negatively, I chose to let Gord bother me. For that matter, anytime I lose it, I've made a choice. I'd like to play the victum, I'd love it if my husband, my children, a teller, a clerk, anyone really, could be completely and totally responsible for my bad behaviour. I mean really, couldn't somebody other than me be at fault. Please!
So what am I really doing when I give in and go with what I feel? Forgetting who I really am, and sometimes who I want to be. I really want to treat the people I love better than anyone else, and yet I do the opposite. I know why, it is the security of knowing that these people will always love me...in spite of how I act from time to time. I have made that a wonderful excuse to behave badly. Next question, should I! NO! One word answer that deserves repeating...NO!
I see clearly that God loves me no matter how I act and I see that my husband, my children and my friends, love me no matter how I act. Oh I'm sure neither are impressed with how I act at times, I have no doubt they don't always like my actions, however, they always love me and I'm so grateful. I need to let that gratitude come to mind everytime I go with my bad attittude. I need to remember I am loved unconditionally and then act like someone who is loved and who loves deeply.
Today I need forgiveness, bad attitutde yet again Lord, please help me to change and to make better choices. Remind me of how blessed I am. And Lord, help me to treat the people I love the most as wonderfully as I do strangers.
Be blessed with a wonderful day.
Good Morning Jenny!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your writing again today. It reminds me of Joyce Meyer's message this morning. She talked alot of the different personality types and through her humour, gave lots of practical stuff that she has had to work on as well. Like us all, we blow it, learn from, grow from & carry on with God. It's in those "chiseling times" that God really ministers to us with His grace & Love, often using the ones we are closest with to make us more like Jesus. Thanks for your openess in sharing & be encouraged that you are loved very much:) My prayers are with you....W
I am amused and amazed at how the word 'attitude' is right there inside the word 'gratitude'. Don't you think that's just really neat. How does He do that?
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