My horse is lame and so am I.

Not all the time but sometimes.  I'm wondering why this process is going so slow and found that the answer is me.  I'm wanting more results but, like my lame horse, I'm dragging my leg.  One foots is all the way in, fully committed, the other one, limping along behind.  I'm not sure how Electric, my horse, got lame, I'm guessing he kicked at a horse and missed.  He likes to be the boss in the field, once you make that choice you have to fight to stay on top.  And that leads to...

Todays Question:  "Why am I willing to be the submissive horse in the field of weight loss?"

Answer, my good leg is fully in, I listen to that leg and don't overeat, my back leg is the one that knows I need to combine exercise with eating less in order to see results.  So drag, drag, drag.  Do you know, I'm comfortable being lame?  I hear this voice in my head everyday, you should exercise, just take a walk, dance around your house you like that, do some yoga it's easy for you, ride your stationary bike, or bounce on your rebounder.  I hear it, I ignore it, I have a bad leg you know.

Could someone please tell me how to motivate myself to exercise.  I know in a few months, when we move into our new place, I'll be moving.  But should I make that my "new" excuse to do nothing until then?  I know the answer is no.  Now be aware, I have a daughter-in-law, Cynthia who owns a gym in Leduc, one of my daughters best friends Shannon, is more than willing to work with me, she is also a personal trainer, I have a lifetime membership to Spa Lady, and I have every piece of exercise equipment needed to successfully work out.  So please know, for me, these facts are great, but I have zero desire to use any of my wonderful resources.  I want to want to exercise, I want to love it like other people do.  I don't.

And once again, I'm comparing myself to others and wishing I was them.  Not healthy, not accepting that I am different and that's okay.  So I'm beating myself up, not swinging my arms, that would be exercise, but bashing my brain with internal blows.  I need to find something that will work for me, something that will give me exercise that I can enjoy.  I'll be needed your prayers, at this point in my life that seems to be an impossible request. 

Now this piece of the puzzle really complicates things, I love doing yoga, I love riding my bike outside, I enjoying dancing.  Three forms of exercise I truly like, still can't motivate myself to do them.  Why?  Wish I had the answer.  Right now as I lay comfortably in my bed I'm thinking just get up and do it, I felt the same way yesterday and the day before.  I often go to bed thinking, "Tomorrow morning I'm doing my yoga."  only to get up and make breakfast.  Something always distracts me, let me rephrase that, I always allow something to distract me. 

So since blogging my weight loss journey has helped me so much to stay committed I'm afraid I'm going to have to make the committment to exercise and blog about that as well.  Maybe only a one comment line I'll call; "Did she or didn't she."  I'll answer yes or no.  That's it, okay maybe I'll let you know what I did as well.  I want to hit the backspace button and erase everything I just wrote but I'm not going to.  I now committ to let you know when I exercise or don't each and everyday.  I realize that gives me permission to exercise or not...please remember...I'm lame.

Be blessed with a wonderful day.