No Excuses - I'll be Missing You.

Today is the day, my blogging freinds, I get on a plane with my beautiful daughter and we go to Africa.  It is both an exciting day and a scarey day, my stomach is in knots and it is "not" because I ate too many twisted pretzels.  Remarkably I didn't overeat as my nerves went from a gentle breeze to tornado winds, even more remarkable I plan on continuing this process no matter what country I'm in.  In the past this trip would have provided me with more than enough excuses to convince myself, and you, that I couldn't hope to eat well, since I couldn't control what I'd be eating. 

Today's Question:  "Why do I convince myself that excuses are reasons when I know they are excuses?"

Can you count like I can on all fingers and toes how many times you've made an excuse.  Honestly, I couldn't reach that number if I included all your fingers and toes.  I have made so many excuses for not starting this process of weight loss sooner.  It's almost Halloween, who could not eat all those treats?  It's almost Christmas, it's way too hard not to overeat so I'll start after the New Year.  Do I know that Christmas is one day?  Was I aware that it's three holidays if I count Boxing Day and New Years, not the entire month of December and the first two days of the New Year.  Do I know that a vacation does not have to mean I gain ten pounds.  Which by the way is what I have lost to date.  Am I aware that anytime I've put off changing my lifestyle for the better I'm punishing myself.  Do I really need to start a new plan of action every Monday, I mean no wonder we hate Mondays, it's usually diet day.  We seem to wake up from the feeding frenzy, that is the entire weekend, on Monday morning when our clothes are cutting off our circulation, starving and angry.  What is wrong with this picture. 

Speaking of pictures, do you want to know how many pictures I've cut up because I look fat.  Hello porkchop, you are fat!!!!  Isn't it funny how I expect a skinny picture when I have no evidence of skinny on my body, okay my ankles and wrists are quite slim, oh and my ears and eyes...thank you very much.  Have you ever looked at the other people in the photograph and noticed that they are exactly the same size.  Weird how the camera only makes me look fat.  Still, I can convince myself that it's a bad picture, no way in h e double toothpicks it's me honey.  If things don't look the way I think they should I destroy the evidence.  Thank God for digital cameras, I can now edit myself, I'm saving so much money on film.

I am going to Africa.  A place where people really know what it is to be hungry.  Their bodies often give a false picture of what is really going on, they are starving and yet their tummys stick out.  It's not fat.  I'm fat and far from starving and I deceive myself into thinking that if I eat less I'll starve to death. I tell myself the pictures lie, I lie to myself.  If I took the money that I've wasted on food I didn't need, and sent it to Africa I could feed an entire family of four, for their entire life.  I'm not kidding.  In reality I could do more. 

I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm going to Africa now.  I know that God has a plan and that He will do something remarkable in and I pray through both Tessa and I.  We are going to be able to feed, thanks to so many amazing donars who I know God "will" bless richly for their giving, no less than one thousand two hundred people for one month.  They have a need...I have a "greed".  God help me.

I will truly miss writing and sharing this process with you over the next 12 days.  You may not know this but your willingness to read this blog and encourage me with your comments is such a huge blessing to me.  I have found strength I never knew I had and it's because of you.  God has truly blessed me with the most amazing freinds.  I will try to write from Africa at least once or twice, I can't promise but I will try.  I love you all.

Be blessed with a wonderful day.