Your Comments.

This morning I want to say thank you to all you wonderful people who read my blog.  I am so blessed by your comments and encouragment.  I want you to know that I'm not in love with writing about every stupid thing I do, I especially don't enjoy the ups and downs I've had since starting this process...regarding the weight and a host of others things.  You know, like moods and foods, gripes and grabbles, mistakes and mess-ups, typos and hippos...it was enough of the same first letter words.  :)

Todays Question:  "Do you know how much your support helps me to keep looking at myself honestly?"

You may not know this but my two faces appeared this morning, one is saying a warm and fuzzy; "Thank you for helping me."  The other wants to yell and grimace; "THANKS ALOT!"  You make me accountable and that is something I need and like, face two, none of your business and leave me alone.  Face two knows face one is to blame.  Did I mention before that I have dual personalities.  It's true, skinny Jenny tells herself she can eat and do whatever she wants.  I like her.  Fat Jenny keeps reminding her of her fat and tells her she needs to starve, for about six months.  I don't like her. So you see my battle, skinny Jenny is dillusional but I still favor her.  No one would lie if it didn't benefit them in some way.  Not good but true.

Don't you think it's funny that skinny Jenny controls me.  I like it when she tells me I'm not that fat, I look good.  I'm especially fond of this one, you are no where near as fat as most of the people in the world.  She exaggerates too.  Has your skinny version of you every said this?  "You need salt and vinegar potatoe chips and you should get some.  You don't have to eat them all."  Mine did, yesterday.  She lied to me so well that I bought them.  I even told my pretty friend Christan that I planned that and I did, but I was deceived right up until this morning when the truth hit.  I wanted chips and gave in.  I also convinced myself that because they were baked chips it was better.  Baked chips are better but I just ate lunch, I didn't need to eat anything else.  Know why I wanted chips?  Fat Jenny had salad and shrimp for lunch.  Skinny Jenny wanted to eat more bread and get a snack for the salad sacrifice she "thought" she'd made.  Oh it's not easy writing from the two sides of my face.

I'm now blending the two, they are driving me crazy apart.  I'm both people, I want to be slimmer and healthier, I need to be honest with myself and put both my faces forward.  Underneath this fat is a better frame of mind, a place where I don't have to fight with myself and be two-faced.  I beat myself up often for being a control freak, I'm need to embrace that part of me as well.  I'm the only person who can control what I eat, I've proven that.  I don't have to control anyone but myself, my problem with control usually has more to do with wanting others to do what I want.  I'm a work in progress and this blog has helped me to see just how much work I need to do. 

Your comments and your faithfulness to read my ramblings help me face the facts, be honest and press on.  I am so blessed by that, me and all my imaginary friends.  You truly inspire me to succeed and I pray you are comforted and guided to overcome in your areas of struggle.  God is faithful and so many of you remind me of Him.

Be blessed with a Wonderful Day.