Reluctant to Tell - WHY?

Todays Question:  "Why am I not wanting to report yet another loss?"

Only answer I can come up with is fear.  Wish I had a differennt answer but I know that is the right one so I'm confessing.  I am afraid to be down another pound so soon after yesterdays one pound loss.  I have now lost 13 pounds.  Blast that unlucky number thirteen, must be the reason for my fear, silly superstition. (Kidding)

So, time to disect this fear.  I realize it's the weekend so maybe I think I'll gain it back so no point in reporting it, that answer equals....FEAR.  Don't want to look like a "loser" in the not so wonderful sense of the word when it comes to weight.  I fear that is more true than I'd like to admit.  I guess I still have some issues with what people will think.  I really thought I didn't care.  This morning is starting out as a personal growth day, "Why?"  (She said screaming as she ran through her house pulling her hair.)

I think I'm wanting to suceed and I'm scared to succeed at the same time.  I have to tell you that this is not the first time I have not wanted to report when I'm down.  If that marker is even a hair off I don't call it a pound loss.  I told myself I was being honest, reporting only the facts, turns out I was afriad and clinging to my previous successes.  I'd rather stay at the same weight than report a loss that isn't comfortably over whatever weight I was the day before .  How sad is that?  Turns out I'm a regular scaredy cat.

Oh and while I'm being honest and brave, I'm scared to tell you all how much I weigh.  It is a subject that has been avoided like the plaque and I'm "afraid" it is not over yet.  I'm not ready for you to know.  Fear!  Boy personal days are painful.  I'm sure that some of you have wondered how much I weigh, I know it would have been the first thing I thought about if you were blogging about your weight.  I like to measure every success by the end result.  Rear end, front end, I like to know. 

So now what?  I'm not sure, I never saw this post coming, I'd have liked some warning.  I think I'm going to have to face these fears and suck it up, as my pretty daughter would say.  The princess needs to get off her throne and stop being so afraid, lest she land on her padded fanny.  I will continue to face these fears as they come up. I'm not ready to post what I weigh but I will one day.  I quote the Grinch, "That's enough Max, one step at a time."

Be blessed with a wonderful and fearless day.