For the first time in my life I had a very difficult time fasting. I've done it before...easy breezy. Yesterday started out okay but by early evening I felt sick. I mean sick. My wonderful husband made many trips on my behalf to ensure that I was prepared to be sick. Thankfully around 2am whatever was making me feel like tossing my...oops I was going to say cookies, but I didn't have any...so fluids...passed. Now I just feel exhausted, dizzy and weak. Supposed to be counseling today but the counselor is calling in sick. Yikes!
Todays Question: "Have you ever noticed how feeling sick always makes you appreicate all the times you don't?"
Thank God for good health. I spent a good deal of time yesterday doing what I said I was going to do. Seeking God to find out what my problem is, I didn't like the answer. You may not either so be warned.
It would appear that food has a god like role in my life. Problem! I reach for it before I look to God. I want the treat, whatever it is, and I don't ask God for help. I remember when Gord was trying to quit smoking and I'd ask him why he didn't pray before he smoked. He said, "If I pray God will help me and I don't get the cigarette." Bamm...right between the eyes that hit me. I'm no different with food. Why pray when I can eat the cupcake, chocolate almonds or scone.
I have an idol in my life and it is food.
A long time ago, during one of my many attempts at weight loss, I heard that food is unlike any other addiction because you have to have it to survive. So true. However, I'm over-having. I'm thinking about it more than I should. Even when I'm watching what I eat, I think about it. When I'm fasting, I'm thinking about it. My beautiful daughter-in-law Chantel actually forgets to eat. Huh? I know other people just like her, they miss meals without knowing it. How weird is that? I'm thinking about where I'll have lunch within an hour or so of finishing breakfast. Anyone who knows me knows I hate to miss a meal. So it wouldn't happen accidentaley in my world it would have to be planned. And why would I plan something so silly, other than to fast.
And now...I'm thinking whose big dumb idea was it to fast? Oh, that would be me. I am going to continue, I'm moving from liguids to fruits because I feel so sick I've got to eat something. I'm wondering if I caught a flu bug or if my body is in shock. Mr. food god you suck and I'm going to continue whether I feel like it or not. I'm sure more answers will come. So far I'm not liking the answers but I cannot deny the truth of them. I press on.
My Prayer: "Help...help...help. SOS. We all need direction from the places and things we get lost in."
Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day
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