Three Days Ago

That's how long it's been since I've written. Yikes...what a slacker. So, the fast, the semi-fast and then the oh my gosh how did we end up here again. These sentences describe the last week. Fast declared Monday, success, mixed with sickness. Tuesday, went to fruit, still sick so added a sweet potato, one. Wednesday, starting to feel better, still fasting fruit and vegetables now. Thursday, feeling in control adding some bread but nothing serious. Friday, good day, had a wonderful sense of victory, doing great. Saturday, too much bread, too many pieces of pizza. Sunday, too much of everything.

Todays Question: "Now what?"

I do not know. I have yet to fast and feel so good mentally so I'm not quite sure what happened on Saturday. I wasn't going crazy, I did make a choice to add bread. Didn't eat to stuffed turkey feeling but did know I'd ate too much of that good thing I call bread...in any form. I sometimes wonder if I should just eat bread and nothing else...I told you I'm a bread-aholic. I am amazed by how fast the mind clears without food and how fast it clogs with it. I went from feeling so good about getting a grip to feeling so ungripped. It's a word I'm sure.

I struggled to write because I'd seen a big drop in the scale, didn't want to post it because I knew I'd regret it. How dumb is that? I see now that I should have, it is the accountability factor that has been helping me to go forward. The funny, in that sad kinda way, thing about that is I paid the price because I didn't write. I set myself up for this failure last week when I said I didn't want to post weight because it wasn't about weight, seemed true at the time. Seems kinda dumb now. It was about weight, finding out why I seemed stuck and what the cause was. Two things not one.

So...did I find the cause after fasting those five days? Yes I did. Turns out I don't have a slow metabolism. Rats!!!! I eat too much for my body. I lost a little less than a pound a day. Proof that my body does let weight go and Saturday and Sunday proved that I can gain two pounds a day if need be. Isn't that wonderful.

I also learned that taking the reins of my eating habits is as wonderful as taking control over my horse. I'm happy to report the fear factor is almost all gone when I ride. So, how can I lose the fear factor that attaches itself to my thoughts of succeeding at weight loss? One day at a time is my answer.

I'm glad I fasted because God was faithful to meet me. I loved seeking out the problem, not surprised I was it. I was gently shown my weaknesses and truly felt like an overcomer for five wonderful days. The last two...not so much. However...five days of doing good is better than expected and garnered the evidence I needed to see that I can do this with God's help, and better choices. Two bad days does not a lifetime make my friends. I'm back in the eating better lifestyle change saddle and I'm going to ride this baby out. :)

My Prayer: "Lord help us all to commit to change and to trust in You and ourselves to fix what seems broken but truly just needs repair."

Be Blessed with a Wonderful Day