Close calls.

Yesterday I could feel myself slipping into the zone I like to call mindless eating.  I was slipping, I didn't go with the slide.  Thank God.  I was able to stop myself.

I had a wonderful lunch in the City with my husband and my daughter came with my cute little grandson to meet us.  Had a very satisfying and healthy meal, it took me fifteen minutes to realize I was full.  We finished lunch and headed back home for more rennos.  I kept thinking as I drove that I was too full and at the same time I was thinking dessert.  Strange.  I thought about going to starbucks on the way home for a snack.  I kept driving.  Thoughts of sweet things kept running through my head.  I walked into the house and blindly headed for the fridge.  I stood looking at those few left over little chocolate bars in the fridge drawer, I was hypnotized.  I snapped out of it and shut the door quickly and walked away.  That was a close call.

Todays Question:  "Why would a person who normally does not like sweets, want something sweet when they are full?"

Answer, greed.  I'm going with that.  I was certainly not hungry, I didn't need anything more and yet somehow after a wonderful lunch I wanted dessert.  I was the perfect picture of the biblical definition of a person who always lusts for more.  Oh my, could I get a side of deliverance over here, I'm in serious need.

I guess I'm still wishing that I would wake up one morning to discover that I'm one of those people who can eat whatever they want and never gain a pound.  They just stay skinny, eating chocolate bars for breakfast, munching potatoe chips all day, and eating plates full of food and daring, I say daring to stay slim.  Oh that green eyed monster has now reared his ugly head.  Good thing it's Sunday. 

God help me to remember that I am not that person, neither the green eyed monster or the skinny overeater.  I am grateful for who I am.  I said that more as a reminder at this moment, I need to speak it to feel it.  I'm so happy for people who don't struggle with their weight...truly.  I know that they often have other struggles that I would not enjoy or envy.  I also know that some people just don't spend any time thinking about food, they eat when their stomach growls, can you imagine?  This morning I am reminded that I am what I am, I can make changes, but I have to accept that I do think about food, not as much as I used too, but still planning the next meal shortly after the last.  I'll get there. 

I have to say that 95% of the time I'm very happy with my life, even my struggles teach me, I like who I am, I enjoy my family, my friends, I am so blessed.  My problem, I overeat for my body, I can stop that, so can you.  I like to pretend I'm the victum of a bad metabolism, in reality my metabolism is the victum of an overeater. 

Once again I remind myself that I caused the problem, only I can fix it.  God is more than willing to help me and I must keep doing and praying.  Both are necessary.

Be blessed with a wonderful day.