This is the time of year when I spend a great deal of time wondering what the year ahead will bring. This morning I was reminded to take one day at a time, trying to see beyond is futile and if I knew what was ahead I may run, either to whatever I saw or from it. I'm glad there are no crystal balls, glad I have to trust God with each day and glad He is always going ahead of me.
I am happy to report that I am down a pound, what a difference moderate eating makes. Go figure. I'm struggling with motivation these days, may be the cold I have, may be the things I need to get done and keep putting off. It could also be the upcoming move, not sure of the day, not sure when all the rennos will be done. I'm learning that I'm not so good at not knowing. I seem to need a plan, a date, a schedule and since I'm not going to get one I feel like I've landed in limbo land. You know that place called wait and see, not such a good place to dwell if you "may" be a bit of a control freak.
Today Questions: "Did I really just write "may" be a control freak?"
Who am I trying to fool? Must be myself because I'm pretty sure every one else who knows me is aware of my control issues. I was reminded of those issues while I was getting a wonderful massage in Radium at the Hot Springs Spa. The therapist was talking about how he loved to climb, even frozen waterfalls, yikes. He went on to say he was afraid to fly, obviously not because he was afraid of heights. He then said that he'd be fine on a plane if he could fly it. Bam! Control issues, I recognized them quickly and smiled as I told him the counselor thinks he has control issues. He agreed happily and after an hour massage went by like five minutes he assured me I was a very good counselor because I'm a people person. Little did he know that I just like controling conversations...obviously they don't teach you that in massage school. :)
My point, I think that 2010 needs to be a time for me to just learn to let things happen. I know we have to show up to work, to do the rennos, to prepare for the move, to sell the houses, etc. I also know that the timing, the buyers and the days will be unknown and I need to relax and be okay with that. So I'm looking at things with more patient eyes...I hope. Everything will get done and I'll trust it will all be in God's timing. I have loved putting no timeline on losing fifty one pounds, it's liberating not to be bound by a day. I'm going to apply this new found freedom to my control issues. I truly want to learn to relax and let things happen, without me worrying about them. What a great idea!
Be blessed with a wonderful day.
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