2010 - Back To A Lose of 10

Todays Question:  "Is that a coincedence?"

I wish!  I never wanted to see the 10 pounds lighter again, didn't want to write it down, didn't want to see it on the scale, I liked being those 2 or 3 pounds away from that.  Christmas has once again found me filling my face and regretting it.  I was doing so well in the beginning, the down hill slide began right after Christmas day.  It was like I plunged into a warm blanket, so comfortable, so familar, I ate whatever I wanted and I didn't stop when I heard my brain mumbling something about having enough.  The dinners out, whether they were home cooked or served up, didn't matter, I ate them, oops I meant to say I overate them.  It was a very sad surrender to the will, the emotions, the desires and the greed.  I need work.

Now it is 2010 and I'd love to say something deeply profound and ever so meaningful, I just can't.  My brain is still foggy from all the food.  Did I tell you that Gord and I went to the Radium bakery on the eve of the New Year, around noon, and bought 12 butter tarts and 12 snickerdoodles (yummy cookies), by New Years day around the same time, they were all gone.  Gone in 24 hours!  Is that a movie title cause if it isn't it should be?  A horror movie of course.   Did I mention that we ate out every day while we were in Radium, except New Years Eve?  Did I tell you how much chocolate I got for Christmas?  Did I tell you how much chocolate I ate after Christmas?  Did I mention that way too many people are good at baking?  Could someone tell me how a chubby girl is supposed to say no to all these temptations.  I don't have the answers.  Before the holiday slide began I thought I did. 

One more confession and then I'm done, I knew the entire time that I'd surrendered to the idea that food equals comfort.  I could hear myself saying you are full, I could hear that voice telling me to stop.  I fell into this feeding freenzy willingly, ignoring the voice of reason and knowing I'd regret it.  Yesterday as we drove home from the condo, while eating a butter tart and then two snickerdoodles immediately after, you'll be paying for this was the song stuck on repeat in my head.  My mom and dads was the lunch stop, yummy, did not overeate, weird hey?  Then the gas station stop, bag of sunflower seeds, small one people I'm trying to watch what I eat.  Got home and wanted to see my children, had not seen them for three days and didn't spend New Years Day with them like I always have, so I called.  What are you doing for dinner I said to Tessa, she mentioned cooking I said lets order pizza.  She's such a good listener.  Ate too much but not way too much since I knew this morning I'd face the scale.  I'm home now and I feel better, I've had my Zayin fix, grandchildren are such a blessing.  The holidays are over and a New Year is upon us, I can start again.

And that is about as profound as I can get.  Starting over this morning and rejoicing that I did not gain all the weight I'd shed in 2009.  I'm going to quickly get back to the task that is before me.  I pray your desire for 2010 would be met with a clear picture and straight path to the finish line.  I will be 51 pounds lighter, not sure what year that will happen in but I tell you my friends....I press on. 

Be blessed with a wonderful day and blessed New Year.