Don't panic, I'm not quitting. I'm just realizing that changing my mind about how I see food is possible, but not easy, and requires constant focus and attention. I am tempted multiple times throughout the day for various reasons to reach for food. Years of programming and bad habits do not disappear instantly. It is work to change a mindset that has been in place and working most effectively for thirty plus years. I was very successful at maintaining a good not so healthy over-weight status. Very good at it...I'm not so good at figuring out how long it will take for the change to be complete and I'm not so good with patience as the change seems to be slow.
On the weekend I got a fortune cookie, don't worry I don't eat them I just like to read them, especially since they started putting funny fortunes in them, not so fond of the serious ones. Mine said, "You are too impatient for instant gratification". I couldn't help but laugh out loud. So true of me, the funny ones nail me more often than the serious. Maybe because so many parts of my life have been a joke...meaning that after the crisis passes I can find humor in it. I don't even like waiting to change my mind, how sad is that?
It would be difficult for me to count how many times, since I started this process, I've gone to the pantry and the fridge to find something to fill me. I'm not hungry, I'm looking for something. I've said before that it has nothing to do with food, I just want to feel full. I want some reward for what I've thought, felt and gone through in a day. Yesterday I was so tired and I discovered that I want to eat when I get tired, it's a very real part of how the body functions, but once I recognized the cause and blogged about it, I shouldn't have found myself looking for food but I did.
Todays question: "Why did I see the problem in the morning and have to see it again in the afternoon and evening?
Answer, changing your mind is hard. That question is so loaded it may explode so guard yourselves. I'm a Counselor and I can't tell you how many times we find the problem in a session only to deal with it again in the next one. The problem is presented, solutions are suggested and people come back trying to figure why they don't change the problem when they know what it is. I don't judge them since I do the same thing. Obviously for so many of us, wanting to change is not the problem, figuring out how to change is.
So now what? Press on...that's what. When you really want something you get it, when you stick to your dreams no matter how long it takes for you to see them become reality, you are a success. I have never thought about my desire to be healthier and fifty one pounds lighter as a dream until now. Surprising because some times I think I must be dreaming if I think I can do this. But do it I will. Why? Because I have recognized I'm the problem, no one and no thing to blame but me. My mind had me prisoner, I was sure I couldn't escape. Until I realized something...IT'S MY MIND.
It is hard to change, very hard, but the rewards are totally worth the effort. We are worth the effort. The prize for me is the "peace" of mind that follows the changing of the mind.
Have a wonderful and blessed day.
A lot of North Americans (and I mean A LOT) often confuse hunger and thirst because of our food-centred culture. When I was doing my big weightloss, I made sure to drink1 litre of water when I woke up, and 1/2 a litre before each meal, along with other times during the day. Now, I'm a big guy, but that was the amount of water I needed. Perhaps drinking water when you feel 'the urge' may help?
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