Convicted in my Absence

Isnt' that a wonderful title?  I got a Notice of Conviction in the mail yesterday.  I'd gotten a photo radar ticket back in July.  Yep, I'm a speeder, I confess.  I mean confession should always follow conviction so I knew yesterday I'd have to tell you today.  I've been "convicted".

I can't tell you how the sentence that topped my notice impacted me.  It read; "This is to advise you that you have been convicted of the following offence in your absence."  Seriously that sentence defines my eating habits for the last thirty plus years.  "Convicted in my absence."  Guilty of not being aware, not paying attention, driving into food at a speed that would impress Mario Andretti.  I think that sentence defines so many of us in so many ways.  We are absent.

Today's question.  How different would our lives be if we were present before the notice of conviction arrived? 

I could have saved myself $109.00 if I'd have been present enough to notice the parked vehicle sitting ready to take my picture.  Ok, I could have not sped.  Details.  I could have saved myself years of struggle with food if I'd have been willing to notice that I was absent.  Dive in, feel better, feel worse, eat more, feel better, feel worse.  You have to be absent at some point to ignore what's going on inside. 

There have been times, and I apoligize to my children, that I have been absent when they are speaking to me, I know they are talking to me, I see their lips moving, I know I'm not alone, but I am not aware at all of what they are saying to me.  My mind has slipped into a cavern and my body is waiting patiently for my return.  I look like I'm listening because I'm still, the posture is right but the mind is gone.  I hear the word mom and I return.  Okay honey I smile and say, having no clue what I just approved.  And once again in less than 24 hours I'm being convicted of my absence.  This explains their frustration when they told me later what I said they could do and I assured them I'd never said that.  Absent...I'm so glad my kids are grown now and repeat things for me.

My point, we are all guilty of being absent.  Problem is we get away with so many things before conviction.  I mean lets be honest we all speed.  If it's one over or twenty, no difference still speeding, we become aware of the difference when the ticket arrives.  I've never met anyone who got a ticket for going one k over the limit.  I need to be present when I'm convicted, I need to show up.  If I blindly dive into the buffett table I know I'll land in conviction sooner or later.  Why not sooner? 

We'd all have better freindships, better marriages, happier children, more peaceful lives if we would just show up before conviction.  Instead of walking around in guilt over what we should have done, could have done or meant to do, let's strive to walk together.  Pay attention...be present.  I love it when someone has truly heard what I say, love it when I see understanding in someones eyes, love it when they are truly with me.  It feels amazing to be heard and it feels equally as good to hear. 

I pray God keep us present and listening so that we are not found guilty in our absence.  Give us eyes to see and ears to hear.

Have a wonderful and blessed day.