The "Nesses".

Today I've lost 3 pounds in 4 days.  I'm reluctant to tell you...weird hey?  So I thought about why and the answer came.  Change.  In 4 days I've made a change in my weight, this confirms that I can control myself as my previous blog stated.  Rats.  This confirms that I can change my body and so hammers home the fact that I alone am responsible for how I look.  Crap...blaming situations, genetics, really good food, think about it who would overeat if the food tasted gross, and my favortie excuse, my body likes to hold on to fat.  Who knew I was holding onto the fat for crying out loud.  I also discovered that for every drop in weight there is the potential that one day in this process I'm going to have to tell you I found some weight, okay it will happen, I can pretty much guarantee it.  Honestly not looking forward to that day but for now downward ho I hope to go. 

I'm determined to take this scale thing one day at a time.  And for those who may be thinking that's the AA slogan let me tell you...they got it from God.

The question of the day, why is the title of todays blog "The Nesses"? 

My son-in-law, who I love so much, has lost 30 plus pounds in the last few months.  He did it by simply not overeating.  He told me it was hard at times and for about a month in the beginning he felt hungry.  I'm sure my mouth fell open, probably waiting for someone to throw a Bite Me cupcake in it, didn't happen.  I was shocked.  Now I've heard about people being hungry, and I've had times when I was sure I'd die of hunger when a meal's been late.  But accepting the fact that he was hungry for a month.  What the heck is that?  I'll tell you what...it's foreign...at least to me.  Even when I fast, be it fruits or vegtables, or juices, I make sure I'm consuming enough to curb hunger.  I don't like the feeling of "emptyness".  And there you see the first of many "nesses" to come.  I like the fullness...I don't like the emptyness. 

My mind being what it is started racing, it's the only part of my body that likes to run.  I considered that these "nesses" were probably the cause of 90% of the worlds overeating, at least in my opinion.  Emptyness, lonliness, hopelessness, fearfulness, sadness, I could go on.  I'm hoping you get the point.  These "nesses" are the root problem.  Which one is yours?  I'm discovering that I have struggled with them all at some point and the food gives me fullness and that's the only "ness" I'm truly comfortable with.  Even happiness can cause overeating, seriously what do we do when we are happy...why we eat of course.  Yahoo!  Sadly, I have met many people who feel they don't deserve happiness so they strive to make sure something is wrong with their life to make sure they are not "too" happy.  These "nesses" cause craziness.  We react to them because they are all intense feelings.  Pangs of lonliness have made me run to the fridge and I'll tell you why.  I remember being in room full of people and feeling lonely.  It was the weirdest thing, I'd already eaten way too much food and I was sitting doing what so many of us do, asking that why question.  Why did you eat all that?  The answer came, you are lonely.  I explained I was in a room full of people.  Didn't seem to matter to Mr. Voice, you are lonley.  For me Mr. Voice, is God, I listen when God speaks and I assure you He is never wrong.  You see lonliness isn't just being by yourself, lonliness is also defined as feeling disconnected.  That feeling that no one really understands you or what you are going through.  And sometimes...no one does.

So what do we do with these "nesses".  Embrace them...yep that's what I said.  Give them a big old hug, welcome them, they "are" part of the human experience and each "ness" is designed to draw us to completeness.  We need to feel all and we can learn from all the "nesses".  It's not easy but it's necessary.  We do not need to feed them contrary to what I've been doing for years.  We need to feel them and learn from them, they've come to teach us. They aren't hungry, although hunger often comes dressed as a "ness".  So be watching for those "nesses" my friends. 

And finally, my favortie "ness".  "FAITHFULNESS" = God.

You are not alone when facing any "ness".  Have a wonderful and blessed day.