Yesterday was a great day, had lunch with a friend, shopped a bit, had supper with my husband at home and then played with my horse in the evening. Great day. I also watched what I ate, didn't over eat and when I came back from the stable I felt like a snack so I shared some cucumber with my husband. I added salt and pepper. Oops.
Turns out that if I want to see results from a healthy food choice day, that is without overindulgence, I should haved "passed" on the salt. I didn't gain, but for how I ate I expected a drop, even a half pound or quater pound. I don't consider my loses blogworthy until it's a full pound...I do still see it on the scale though. So when I was down a pound and a half yesterday, I was hoping that other half would go today. Fat chance. :)
Todays questions: "How long before I realize salt, water retention, bloating etc, can effect my weight lose or gain and that I should not be bothered by it?"
I don't know. If you expected me to have that answer you just weren't thinking. It appears this is another area where I have to change my mindset. Yesterday I got two unsolicited compliments about my weight. One from a male, one from a female. Both were genuine and both made me feel good. It was nice to know that people were noticing and my work was paying off. The problem started in the morning, after I got dressed and noticed I was looking slimer, that shouldn't be a problem but for me it was. I put it aside and got ready to leave, got to my car and wasn't 100% certain I'd shut off my hair straightner. Ignored it but then realized my remote car starter was dead so decided I'd go back for a battery and check the iron. Big deal you may be thinking, do it all the time. Well, I saw my reflection in the glass screen door as I walked into the house and I was uncomfortable. I was looking slimer even from the front, I'd only seen my profile in the mirror upstairs as I got ready. I was bugged up the stairs, I was bugged down the stairs and as I walked out the door I was tempted to look back, just to see if I was looking slimer from behind as well. Couldn't do it. I just kept walking and telling myself it was okay, it's okay, you can be slimmer and you'll be okay. Your okay.
That is called self-talk. It is a healthy way of coping. You wonder why I have to cope with looking slimer? Let me tell you, I'm more comfortable being heavy than I am slim. Heavy makes me feel like people don't notice me, when I say people I mean men. I have no problem when a female tells me I'm looking good. I have a problem when a male tells me I look good. I feel two things, glad they noticed, and then uncomfortable, they noticed. I have had way too much attention over the years from men who liked my slim body a little too much. I also don't have a dad who gives compliments. Put those two things together and you get an unhealthy reaction to attention from men. One more area I need to work on. Does it ever end?
Maybe today's topic has more to do with the swelling of the head, than it does the swelling caused from salt. I'm also reminded that salt on a wound stings. I knew this blog was going to be painful from time to time, I also knew I'd have to be honest. Just because someone pays you a compliment it does not mean your brain hears it as one. I need to work on receiving compliments from men and not adding my past "a-salts" to their words. I think that will be hard at first, since I have the evidence in hand, but I'm sure if I keep talking myself through it I'll be okay. I know who I am and I know who I am not. Focus Jenny...just stay focused.
Be blessed with a wonderful day.
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